Cleaning with Mario Truth Revealed

About

Mario Mcknight is 38 years old and is hailed as Scotland's answer to Mrs Hinch.
He has 143k followers on his Instagram account.
He originally comes from Ardrossan in Ayrshire and currently lives in a 1 bed flat in Paisley with his fiancé Derek Johnstone and their pussy Rayn. Lengthy engagement with no immediate plans for marriage, Mario alludes to being broody. Has already upgraded/changed his engagement ring.

Presents conflicting feelings for his home, often referred to as his “safe place” which he loves, but dreams of a 4 bed detached like his brother and sister have. Has insisted he could get a mortgage at the click of his fingers (“lit that!”), but appears to have no plans to move any time soon having blown a fair amount of money on redecorating his rental over and over and over and over again.

Worked at Debenhams for years until the pandemic of March 2020, was furloughed and then left in the first wave of redundancies.
He has since started his dream job as a cleaner at the local Polis offices.

Claims to suffer from a number of ailments although behaviours displayed have Tattlers questioning the legitimacy of a few, including IBS (truly atrocious diet), super highly sensitive skin (but uses harsh chemicals without needing rubber gloves) and Keratoconus (eye condition affecting cornea). Known to Tattlers as “Kerry Katonas”.

Bonafide shopaholic - there is very little this man won't purchase, often in triplicate. Admitted recently to drowning in debt. Was grateful that the pandemic came and washed away all of his money worries.

Utterly incapable of correct use of punctuation, also his spelling and comprehension of his posts are atrocious.
He is the less successful brother of writer-director Johnny McKnight.
The wee family

LOL

Night Oot - hinted in the week that he was going out on Sat night. He couldn't find an outfit this late or had anything appropriate in his wardrobe though. They even faked tanned. Speculation was rife as to who was the lucky soul to be honoured with Marion's presence oot on the toon. Turned out to be his blister sister's cheating fella’s birthday. The festivities ended up at an awards night for the niece's dance school where they filmed Derek dancing.
New Lionel flairs - 2 years after his crapet was fitted he then went on another decorating joournay. Laminate Lionel was fitted on his bedsit lounge flairs. This was to be documented and revealed at the weekend but the fitter spoiled the surprise by posting a snippet beforehand. Mario did not acknowledge this major breach at all. lol.
Profile - following the latest trend he changed his profile picture, the next day after reading Tattle that the Russians were after people's data it was changed back.
Postcast - 09/05/22 Announced that he is to do a podcast postcast (nae my quote) with someone fabulous. Tattle laughed. 28/05/22. Turned out he was in the car of the_misfit_maw with mother_rendall for moral support because he's such a big fanny.
Italian stallion - bespoke Italian bloodline.
Crappy lappy - Purchased a £140 32GB laptop for work - mainly IG and other workie bits, so aye.
Loo - He'd just been on the loo when Hannah Chapman aka AvaMay and her last squeeze came to the bedsit and surprised him at the door. Thanks, Derek you're a star.

OMG

Fake Q & A- Tattle has always stated that whenever he posts Q&A he sends the Qs and then answers them. On 26/05/22 he did indeed send one. In the past, he has admitted to having another phone.
Doesn't like - Craved chocolate, which again is something that he supposedly hates. Also hates coffee but likes Starbucks toffee ones - you either dosna like coffee or ya do Mario.
Compromised safety - Wants recommendations (more like begging for a freebie) for a pet-friendly place as they want to go away on a break with Rayn. Believes his safety and Rayns are compromised so doesn't want to leave her with anyone. Due to her dietary needs, this is why they haven't ventured abroad. Holy fuck.
Cushions - found some £65 cushion covers after 2 years in the bedroom, the trouble is it had only recently been cleared out for the new bed.
Bedroom - After a few weeks of being a tease, he finally showed off his bedroom makeover. All he did was change the bed, adding on a new longer padded headboard, 2 new bedside tables with lights that hung down like snooker table lights, a new scallop-shaped velvet chair and a circular mirror. All designed by Mario himself and gifted by Dan-yell. Move over Kelly Hoppen. An online search for comparisons as they looked oddly similar to others for sale.
Follows - Quite a lot of the Instafuckers have popped onto 'this app' to post about the talented young musician that died due to a brain tumour, he, therefore, had to jump on this bandwagon and post about his loss.
Follows - Even though he doesn't follow her, again he popped onto this app to post about a writer that is terminally ill.
Panelling - posted a video of his fake panelling wall joornae on his grid with It’s how far you’ve come not how far you were, What?
Casket videos - proceeded to post videos of him viewing an open coffin/casket at a funeral, 1 about Deek, 1 called the wrong funeral and 1 called best friend’s funeral - considering it was only a few weeks ago that his deceased ex-friend's mother died, this was deemed to be highly inappropriate. To finish them off he posted a troll one. Hilariously he told people to unfollow him on TikTok as he is never on it, even though he''d filmed it via TikTok! He has now added them to his highlight page so bad taste can be viewed there forever.
Then 1 more so aye, called random funerals. He doesn’t give up the loon toon.
Elephants - posted saying 'The elephants keep walking but the dogs keep barking' blah blah. Made up or stolen? No idea what he means but it's delusional as f*ck.
Swearing - his niece watches his stories, so he proceeds to swear. Then swearing again.
Adele - Watching Adele, is he on something?
DM's - Moaned and groaned about IG, so turned his DM's off.
Valens day - Valens day or Valance Day (Valentines Day) Cannae say it and dosnae do it. But here he does. Anyway, 2022 did a collab with AvaMay to giveaway some stuff.
Bauble - Has a memorial Christmas bauble for his friend Natalie, the sad part is he fell out with her years before she died in 2017. Apparently, he was awful to her but is now using her a lot for IG content. Stooped even lower today by posting the order of service of Natalie's mum who died in Feb 2022. Please leave it alone now Mario.
Children - A rambling post about not having children.

What the hell

Oof his page - insists that he now keeps Derek off his page to protect him as people are arseholes. If he is targeted then that's ok.
Why then on the same day post a picture of Derek napping? Also, his highlights are full of Derek, should they be removed now?
Belched - while filming his morning show of the gutted bedsit, the moron belched on camera, or was it a shart?
Hoosecoat - Sits and does his videos in his housecoat aka a dressing gown, pulled up to his neck making him look like an old man. (often to hide his work polo shirt so as not to give away where he works, albeit aw the lovelies know he cleans the polis office)
Rambles on - Said videos are often miles long, very rambling and don't get to the point.
Caff food - Eats anaemic/burnt fried breakfasts at their local caff. (Penjooooolum)
Sophisticated - Believes he is highly sophisticated so eats a cheese board that doesn't contain any real cheese only processed meat & pickles and gets high tea afternoon tea which consists of a few dried-up sandwiches, cakes and loads of crisps.
Oof limits - Claims his family, including his nieces, are off-limits to the internet but posted a picture of his dad in the hospital, told the world when his parents paid off their mortgage and shows off his sister's care home garden. Despite this, he will happily post about Derek's nephews.
Besties - Believes he is besties with AvaMay Aromas owner Hannah and refers to her as ‘H', as well as Mrs Hinch and he calls her 'Soph'.
Products - Despite being able to hand count the number of hairs on his head Mario spends an inordinate sum of money on hair products and devices, most notably a Dyson hairdryer to replace his (in perfect working order) GHD hairdryer, GHD straighteners and Olaplex (or Oplex as he calls it).
Small business saviour - Advocates for supporting small businesses, but spends most regularly in Primark, B&M, Home Bargains, The Range, and Amazon.
Diamond - Regularly overuses the diamond emoji so aye.
Febreze - Was gifted a personalised crystal-encrusted Febreze bottle, hailing it "stunning", "gorgeous" and "to die for" and it was never seen again. Newspaper article.
Frame - Showed a frame containing the lyrics to "I wanna dance with somebody" by Whitney Houston. It included spelling mistakes and totally made-up words. Pic.
Marion - Was called Marion in a newspaper article. Was it a mistake? The same newspaper also refers to Derek as his 'finance' which we believe to be accurate. lol.
Shout-out - Screenshot a post from a fan showing a framed message asking for a shout-out, to which Mario had replied with a no as he was at work. Surely a wind-up.
Wi-fi - Framed his wi-fi password for his guests. and popped it onto his hall wall. (he never has any guests).
Bumming fort - Set up a 'cosy area' for himself and Deek consisting of a single duvet oan the sofa minus any bed linen. Tattle has affectionately nicknamed this 'the Bumming fort' following speculation on its true purpose.
Placement - For some reason has his kettle and toaster plonked in the middle of the worktop.
Clutter - Hates clutter. However, he had so much tat on his worktop it was heaving. Golden oldies were his bespoke cereal dispensers which disappeared and his wooden drink station which got wet when his boiler burst discarded.
Conversations - Do they exist, maybe, it seems he recycles his stories. Bus stop conversation 16 Nov 2020 and an old lady stopped to talk to him at the bus stop. The point is he has said previously that he walks to work. If true he's a bus stop old lady magnet.

Dramas which amuse

Dryergate - A boujie detailed explanation so aye.

Katie in Scotland - Dec 2021 - the millionaire 'tend scrubber Mrs Hinch popped to see her super fan, a disabled teen living in Glasgow.
Mario was getting really excited as he anticipated a visit from her, he'd even taken 4 hours gutting the bedsit that morning. However, after a no-show from Hinch, he went into a rage and had a wee comma break. All was forgiven as a day or 2 later he came back, showing her some love by fawning over the bairns and begging for a hoose coat. Are you ok hun? Off the app.
She missed out on some lovely snacks though.
View thread 51 pg 30 then thread 52 for a laugh.

Blind nikita dug. - Once chased by this bespoke breed of dog. He meant Akita. Nobody believes he would know what an Akita looks like anyhow. You can find it on his highlights under “for the laughs”.

Postie - When he answered the door naked to the postman. Rumour has it the postie is still signed off work after this traumatic incident. You can find it on his highlights under “for the laughs”.

Rats in the attic - Reported scratching noises coming from the loft space above his flat. The cooncil was summoned to inspect. He went silent on this whole incident before eventually addressing his follower's update requests. Insisted it was squirrels (boujie), Tattlers believe rats (not boujie). This culminated with his letterbox being smashed in by the council. Marion was absolutely raging cos he pays full rent!

Rayn - In the days before the cleaning G-d was discovered on here, Rayn, bless her cotton socks, once jumped out of the window to run away from Mario. She is now trapped in the bedsit of doom alongside toousands of wax melts and reed diffusers. Alas, Tattle has no evidence of this so we all must visualise it in oor heeds.

Covid

Godsend - Claimed Covid was a godsend as it allowed him to become debt-free. videos.

Exempt - During Covid 19 restrictions mask-wearing is recommended in shops and on public transport. Mario was seen wearing a mask & on New Year’s eve, but lately, numerous people have seen Mario & Derek not wearing any, they have also been seen wearing a sunflower lanyard that makes them exempt. During a trip to have his eyebrows done no mask was worn, he was indeed exempt according to the salon. On his IG Mario has not expressed an opinion or reason as to why he is exempt, so we believe he is lying, however, a lanyard is seen on 05/03/2022 and it’s an IBS card. (Shart card in Mario’s case— see aforementioned terrible diet).

He's a nasty bitch so aye

DM - a followers BF sent Mario a DM about his haul and Mario replied with a really nasty rant.
DM - and again. Someone mentioned his cheap Primark clothing and the impacts.
Derek - Was really nasty towards Derek for using a bottle of Jo Malone hand wash which was only for guests & for show. Also, he moans at Derek for no reason. #freeDerek.
Rayn - Called Rayn a wee bitch for no reason other than he's a dick, however, stated later it was banter. #freeRayn.
Cleaners - Sept 2020. In response to a message from a fan saying their mother is a cleaner, Mario was disparaging about cleaners, calling them "dirty scrubbers". Then on 8th June 2021, he claimed he pretty much single-handedly saved Scotland during the pandemic because he's a cleaner, (one that works for about three hours a day in an office that's not being used much at the moment)
Nasty response when questioned. again.

Entertaining

#bawwatch
Salmon rug. aka salmon beach towel
Nasty bitch video
Butter plug in the shape of Santa.
Deek and Mazda at a Spice Girls concert.
#dryer-gate - see above.
Tattie heart dancing with a mop leg kick.

#AD king so aye

Laptop - Mario purchased a £140 laptop this week and stated it was for IG and his work What the hell. Tattle discussed why, as a cleaner, he required one for work?
Well, we believe Tattle has discovered why Mazzo wants the Curry 32GB crappy lappy.
Drumroll please, it's to make PowerPoint stories of his daily morning ritual of gutting the bedsit and for making paid #ADs for Febreze on Thursday and Friday.

Trolls and woe is me

Constantly uploads cryptic, boohoo, me me me posts & stories on his and every other IG fuckers accounts, bitching about life on the gram, the trolls, jealousy of him, blah blah. But he's now not bothered.

03/03/22 - Own page - Trolls
04/03/22 - On Miss Greedy page.
05/03/22 - About Miss Greedy and his own pity party.
05/03/22 - Again, really rambling on.
05/03/22 - Again about Trolls, give it up perrleez.
06/03/22 - Trolls again, but his DMs don't work.
06/03/22 - Grid post.
17/03/22 - Comment on someone’s post.
17/03/22 - He has read tattle but nae more.
24/03/22 - Not bothered.
13/04/22 - Moaning.
28/04/22 - Stressful day working part-time
16/05/20 - Woe is me. then Mrs Hinch butts in, his reply - love ya doll, I ain't going nowhere.

Sayings

Many of his idiotic posts have been turned into Mario sayings on the threads.
Some have also come from his fans.

- "So aye".
- “Stay in yer ain lain”.
- “and so forth”.
- “and so morth” (when he’s tripping over his falsers).
- "In this dayn of dawn" (in this day and age).
- “Av gutted this full place” which means he has cleaned and wiped down the flat.
- "Ah pay fuhl rent". Reminds his followers of the full rent payment arrangement with the Council whenever bemoaning an issue requiring the landlord's attention.
- "Sliding through the flairboards". Describes being excessively hot.
- "Hellooooo ma lovelies", while waving strangler fingers.
- "Ah treatit masel"(I treated myself).
- "Derek treatit me" (I treated myself but want it to look like Deek adores me).
- “Bitch stole my moves”.
- Take in the wealth, which turned into 'smell the wealth'. Pic.
- Spine bright like a diamond Pic.
- Take a seat and get some class (used as a rebuke).
- Ma page, ma rules.
- Nae debates on ma page! (when he tried to convince his followers that a gifted lamp was in the colour grey and not pink… it was pink).
- Practice makes ok (I’m a fucking car crash failure at everything).
- Absolute staple (covers practically every cleaning/skincare/wax melt product he uses).
- The blister (pish attempt at Cockney rhyming slang, the nickname for his sister).
- The Don (his Dad who is one-hundredth Italian).
- IBS through the roof (severe dose of the shits).
- Smellness. Used to describe the aroma coming from his 2nd lot of gifted sofas.
- Ah hate ma f*ckin life (used no matter the scale of the adversity faced).
- In the colour <insert word> in the scent <insert word> (used when he mistakes himself for a QVC presenter).
- Karmer on your arse (a playful karma curse).
- Put a comma in your life (when he's flounced off social media).
- See A Sucker bedding (extra lols cos he was showing the Hinch seersucker bedding at the time).
- “If you don't know, get to know!” An inducement to buy, beg, borrow or steal whatever thing he's promoting as an absolute staple.
- It's real life, no Harrods (addressing Tattlers concerns for the buckled wire shelf, behind the TV, at the vanity area)

Tattle isms

Boaby -The word 'boaby', is added into a thread whenever and wherever it's appropriate. It is a Scottish reference for the penis.

Spelling mistakes

- bootle (bottle)
- To (too)
- Youse (use).
- Chucky knit (Chunky knit).
- Dunellum (Dunelm Mill).
- Tong Braxston (aka Toni Braxton).
- Arriterate (re-iterate).
- Unindated (inundated).
- Wuhnst (once).
- Fadum (fathom).
- Seashells (cannae pronounce Seychelles).
- Bergamont (cannae pronounce Bergamot).
- Crapet (carpet).
- Waaahffle (waffle).
- Arons (errands).
- Falbon. His bespoke pronunciation of Fablon brings untold joy to Tattlers.

Nigella Mcknight

- Stovie.
- Spag bol.
- Spag bol again but looks like stovies.
- Mince with swede & turnip. Confirmed he boils it.
cooking isn't the family's strong point.
- His sister’s Sunday dinner.

Lovelies

In a very similar vein to Mariah Carey calling her fans ‘Lambs’ and Lady Gaga calling her fans ‘Little Monsters’, the equally or arguably more famous Mario, refers to his as ‘Lovelies’. Tattle posters have claimed this as their own and now call each other lovelies as a term of endearment.

Brands he hawks

- AvaMayAromas, including his own scent which is a knock-off of Tom Ford, called Mario Black Orchid.
(Will this continue? She has since gone into administration owing nearly £0.9m, sold the business to her BF and trading under the same name)
- Sph2onge.
- Discounted beds (Glasgow) Danyell. Reads here lol
- Pagazzilighting.
- Febreze - allegedly.
- He got #gifted some new teeth. The bespoke mould of the before and after is iconic:

Newspaper articles

1. Scotland's male Mrs Hinch has turned his council flat into a cleanfluencer paradise
2. Scotland's male Mrs Hinch Mario bravely opens up about being bullied at school
3. 8 cleaning accounts to follow.
4. Mentioned in Mrs Hinch book.
5. Again.
6. When he was called Marion Mcknight.
7. Cleaning his oven.

CV

Mario's CV courtesy of @laynelo_





So aye…. treatit yourselves and go and watch his highlights! Is he a parody or not? That’s always up for debate. But there's nae debates oan ma page.

Back to his threads