Cleaning with Mario Truth Revealed

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  • About

    Mario D’Agostin Mcknight is 39 years old (27/08/1983) and is hailed as Scotland's answer to Mrs Hinch.
    He has 146k followers on his Instagram account.
    He originally comes from Ardrossan in Ayrshire and currently lives in a 1 bed flat in Paisley with his fiancé Derek Johnstone (19/03/1989??) and their pussy Rayn (17/04/2017). Lengthy 4 year engagement with no immediate plans for marriage, Mario alludes to being broody. Has already upgraded/changed his engagement ring.

    Presents conflicting feelings for his home, often referred to as his “safe place” which he loves, but dreams of a 4 bed detached like his older brother (Johnny) and sister (Krystal) have. Has insisted he could get a mortgage at the click of his fingers (“lit that!”), but appears to have no plans to move any time soon having blown a fair amount of money on redecorating his rental over and over and over and over again.

    Worked at Debenhams for years until the pandemic of March 2020, was furloughed and then left in the first wave of redundancies.
    He has since started his dream joab as a cleaner at the local Polis offices.

    Claims to suffer from a number of ailments although behaviours displayed have Tattlers questioning the legitimacy of a few, including IBS (truly atrocious diet), super highly sensitive skin (but uses harsh chemicals without needing rubber gloves) and Keratoconus (eye condition affecting cornea). Known to Tattlers as “Kerry Katonas”.

    Bonafide shopaholic - there is very little this man won't purchase, often in triplicate. Admitted recently to drowning in debt. Was grateful that the pandemic came and washed away all of his money worries.

    Utterly incapable of correct use of punctuation, also his spelling and comprehension of his posts are atrocious.
    He is the less successful brother of writer-director Johnny McKnight.
    The wee family


    Safe space - Remarked that his bedsit is his safe space, But his block of flats and the surrounding streets are notoriously unsafe, this includes attempted muurdah, dug hairs in the close stairs, food being chucked doon them, tops of ears bitten oof, junkies in the bedsits below his oon flairs, and possession a guns ma luvlies. Niiice.
    4 years on IG - Received a reminder to say that he'd started on the app IG 4 years ago on 05/09/2018, but apparently, it was his wee brother Johnny that persuaded him to start the cleaning page and it was 06/09/2018.
    146k Followers - Went to 146,234k followers on 10/11/21 but since then this has not increased much for over a year. On 01/11/22 he was at 146.594k.
    Influencer - 06/09/22 - Dots of doom stories, Is rather adamant that he is not one and doesn't like the word ''influencer'', He gets affronted - nay ma quote - when speaking on the app & even in front of Derek, so this is the reason he has failed as an influencer. Then videoed Derek a few hrs later! But earlier in the month he bought himself a name tag and IG logo! He also needs to embrace the influencer.
    11/09/22 - Storied picking out his favourite oil for a top-secret AvaMayAromas new scent. Used his big snozzel to sniff them awwl and sniffed coffee in batween to clear him oot. This was done in front ov Derek.
    06/10/22 - Lenor #ad posted as a reel, this was so bloody funny it produced plenty of mickey taking and jokes on his thread.
    Mario the decorator - 29/10/22. He isn't attempting it this year but what if I ''Mario'' na ma quote, came to yours to do ya Christmas decorating.
    Clean and Tidy Home Show - desperately wants to be an influencer but states he isn't one, well he has declined to go to the C&THS in London as it's too far and oot of his comfort zone. He missed his bbf Soph as she turned up on Sunday.
    Abroad - The furthest that tattle has seen him go is Blackpool but in his delusions, he thinks he has been to Ibiza (cafe mambo)(lies)
    Candy Cane Lame - Nov 21. Posted a pic of his Candy Cane Lane sign and it was changed forever more to Candy Cane Lame.
    30/10/22 - Showcased another Candy Cane Lame sign, OMG it is wonky as f*ck. and it cost a tenner. He waz robbed so aye.
    Chickenlittle007 - Speculation that this poster was Mario or even Derek or Krystal. eg - I can't imagine Mario blocking anyone for no reason at all! I understand this isn't a race* thread, I just don't understand why everything he does is wrong! ie having children, decorating a tree, designing a diffuser, in a time of #bekind I just think that everyone think should take it on board! The poster has now disappeared. * Na ma quote.
    Crappy lappy - Purchased a £140 32GB laptop for work - mainly IG and other workie bits i.e online shopping, so aye.
    Demolition plans - The Beirut bedsit was in the line of fire for demolition from the local cooncil. Goofy received a letter and he got upset aboot the prospect of leaving the bedsit of his dreams that he'd built from the groond up to a house with a front & back door. But alas it was not meant to be, he'd misread the letter, the area he lives in is getting regenerated and he is staying the noo.
    Dinky doos - They are dinky doo's. Here with Hannah and her last beau.
    Dots of Doom Q&A - Tattle members @namsks and @DramaQueen79 asked a q. it was answered but then @namsks got blocked.
    Crisps - Ate a big bag ov criss one night and will not share, even Deek dosna get a lookin.
    Gifts to himself - Bought himself a Daniel Wellington watch at Christmas 2019.
    Goldmine - If he was to leave his hoose that he built from the groond up, he said the tenants that come after him will be walking into a goldmine, lol
    Gogglebox - Became Google box
    Gucci - Claimed his knockoff trainers were hurting him.
    FaceBook - @Tinkerbell cat foond his very old FaceBook page that he canna remember the password for. Just type his full name into FB & it's the second profile on the list. Some gems. More. Half-sister. Thread 43 from post 379 oonwards.
    There's only 1 me - There’s only 1 me.
    Oops - He loves the sun
    Twitter - Mariomcknight @maz27mcknight
    Football shirt - Daddy McKnight wore Mario's middle name on his shirt. D’Agostin
    Italian stallion - bespoke Italian bloodline.
    Martin - Someone reposted a Tattle post saying Mario was really called Martin. This was proved incorrect but he is noo called Martin.
    Mystic Mario - posted to say that he had downloaded an app to try and contact the deed, heard a female voice so in fear deleted the app. In the morning saw a robin in the Beirut stairwell ootside his bedsit and is now shitting himself silly.
    New Lionel flairs - 2 years after his crapet was fitted he then went on another decorating joournay. Laminate Lionel was fitted on his bedsit lounge flairs. This was to be documented and revealed at the weekend but the fitter spoiled the surprise by posting a snippet beforehand. Mario did not acknowledge this major breach at all. lol.
    Next - States he was assistant manager, he waz at the top, but it was too much for him.
    Night Oot - hinted in the week that he was going oot on Sat night. He couldn't find an outfit this late or had anything appropriate in his wardrobe though. They even faked tanned. Speculation was rife as to who was the lucky soul to be honoured with Marion's presence oot on the toon. Turned out to be his blister sister's cheating fella’s birthday. The festivities ended up at an awards night for the niece's dance school where they filmed Derek dancing.
    Premier Inn pillows - purchased some from their website. he storied them, the sheep were apparently asking aboot them and then the site crashes. He claimed it was because of him but the site said demand for their pillows was due to a viral TikTok,
    Hobbycraft pumpkins - 20/08/22, showed off his wee haul of some velvet pumpkins. Then later on posted his ''effect'' had sold them oot, again it was a TikTok trend from a few weeks ago. The next day posted a pic of someone buying them!
    Profile - following the latest trend he changed his profile picture, the next day after reading Tattle that the Russians were after people's data it was changed back.
    Postcast - 09/05/22 Announced that he is to do a podcast postcast (nae my quote) with someone fabulous. Tattle laughed. 28/05/22. Turned out he was in the car of his wee pal the_misfit_maw with mother_rendall for moral support because he's such a big fanny.
    Salt - After weeks of Tattle ridiculing him for his vast intake of salt and the consequences, he may have finally listened to us.
    Spice Girls Concert - Mario looks sullen but Derek enjoying life.
    Wax Melt business - While flying high on his birthday, believes he could create a business by making wax melts. He then decided it might be a bad idea.
    Xmas - Constantly posting his crap tat 3 months before the event brings smiles to his fanny base so it does. It's his therapy and something to focus on.


    Orange Order - @JoeExotic outed Derek as a member of the Scottish Orange order, an anti-catholic sectarian secret fraternity that do not like gays, it is suspected that he is no longer a member. Due to this fact, most Tattle members do not speak highly or are not sympathetic towards Derek anymore.
    Queens Funeral Quote - 19/09/22 - Very historical moment in history.
    Army - Derek fund his supposedly lost Army Veteran badge in the bedsit of doom. Obviously, he was that proud it was hidden away! However, eBay sell them for £2.99 so aye.
    Bauble - Has a memorial Christmas bauble for his friend Natalie, the sad part is he fell out with her years before she died in 2017. Apparently, he was awful to her but is now using her a lot for IG content. Stooped even lower today by posting the order of service for Natalie's mum who died in Feb 2022. Please leave it alone now Mario.
    Bedroom - After a few weeks of being a tease, he finally showed off his bedroom makeover. All he did was change the bed, adding on a new longer padded headboard, 2 new bedside tables with lights that hung down like snooker table lights, a new scallop-shaped velvet chair and a circular mirror. All designed by Mario himself and gifted by Dan-yell. Move over Kelly Hoppen. An online search for comparisons as they looked oddly similar to others for sale.
    38th birthday - Received Jo Malone perfume, a reed diffuser and a few candles, to go with the tons he is hawking with Ava. Also got a huge mirra from DanYell. Stayed in the swanky Glasgow Dakota hotel with Derek & Hannah but dinna eat in the restaurant, went to a less pricey joint at the amoremerchantcity and was back in beed by 10. The day after she got a flat tyre so Deek decided to feek oof and get a train hame, but they bet him back lol. That night he had a gang of his female IG heavies visit and after getting pished they ransacked his kitchen cupboards. Thread 42 for the laugh. Was this hung up? Brought hame the hotel sleepers. Highlights to watch. and Party time.
    39th Birthday - Wore the same shirt as last year. He had nay plans but then Deek got the runs so Mario had a crappy dinner for one. He spent his birthday money on moor crap though. Bizarrely, nay shoutoots from his besties or family members only some random instahuns etc.
    Camel Toe - 01/10/22 posted a pic of his wee blister Krystal Chandelier in her jeans, she appeared to have a camel toe.
    Casket videos - proceeded to post videos of him viewing an open coffin/casket at a funeral, 1 about Deek, 1 called the wrong funeral and 1 called best friend’s funeral - considering it was only a few weeks ago that his deceased ex-friend's mother died, this was deemed to be highly inappropriate. To finish them off he posted a troll one.
    Hilariously he told people to unfollow him on TikTok as he is never on it, even though he''d filmed it via TikTok! He has now added them to his highlight page so bad taste can be viewed there forever.
    Then 1 more so aye, called random funerals. He doesn’t give up the loon toon.
    Children - A rambling post about not having children.
    Cosmetic procedures - July 14th eyelash jurnee incoming. Posted he'd been to a spa for a lash lift and then revealed he'd also had a lip filler procedure carried oot 6 days prior, Nothing to do with social media pressures though, performed because of his thin lips so aye.
    The day after 17/07/22 he applied a home manicure, no difference was seen apart from his manky bitten nails which appeared to have been dipped in chip oil.
    Later on posted about people keeping screenshots of him on their phones and he thought it was hilarious & weird. But he's fine btw.
    10/09/22 - another lash lift.
    Compromised safety - Wants recommendations (more like begging for a freebie) for a pet-friendly place as they want to go away on a break with Rayn. Believes his safety and Rayns are compromised so doesn't want to leave her with anyone. Due to her dietary needs, this is why they haven't ventured abroad. Holy fuck.
    Cushions - found some £65 cushion covers after 2 years in the bedroom, the trouble is it had only recently been cleared out for the new bed.
    Decaff Coffee - had a decaff coffee and said it had kept him awake all neet long but it turned out Derek had given him a normal one (even though he hates coffee). Likes it here though.
    Doesn't like - Craved chocolate, which is something that he supposedly hates. Also hates coffee but likes Starbucks toffee ones - you either dosna like coffee or ya do Mario.
    Debt - Tattle member @Scottishmamma92 spilt some tea, that - allegedly - Marion and Derek have several accounts with debt collectors. Generally, they receive no response and dosna repay any balances.
    Dyson hair dryer - 2021 during lockdown Derek bought him, as a surprise, a £300 Dyson for his 3 hairs.
    Elephants - posted saying 'The elephants keep walking but the dogs keep barking' blah blah. Made up or stolen? No idea what he means but it's delusional as f*ck.
    Fake Q & A- Tattle has always stated that whenever he posts Q&A he sends the Qs and then answers them. On 26/05/22 he did indeed send one. In the past, he has admitted to having another phone.
    Follows - Quite a lot of the Instafuckers have popped onto 'this app' to post about the talented young musician that died due to a brain tumour, he, therefore, had to jump on this bandwagon and post about his loss.
    Follows - Even though he doesn't follow her, again he popped onto this app to post about a writer that is terminally ill.
    Intercom - Painted the hall door intercom black. it was likened to a tampon.
    IG engagement - trying to get engagement up, so started off by asking for the funniest text that had been sent to someone else rather than the proper recipient - his was that he was shitting a lot like a bridesmaid from the fillam. followed by hunters of pics of his fugly snout.
    Loo - He'd just been on the crapper when Hannah Chapman aka AvaMay and her last squeeze came to the bedsit and surprised him at the door. Thanks, Derek you're a star.
    Nails - Purchased a nail kit. He’s a qualified nail tech. Apparently did a college course
    Panelling - posted a video of his fake panelling wall joornae on his grid with It’s how far you’ve come not how far you were, What?
    Ring doorbell - Bought a ring doorbell, showed the packaging but then it has not been seen since, so it is suspected that he boxed it back up and returned it.
    Stealing and lying- Poster @Lipsy claims he was allegedly sacked from Semichem for stealing. And they also suggested he was allegedly sacked from Next for lying. This was prior to his job at Debenhams.
    Semichem deal - Mario & his pal Ava May went to a Semichem open day. She got a deal to stock wax melts and Mario was supposed to work on a separate project with them. There was one attempt to sell his wax melts (a black orchid dupe) but they were not restocked. Later he states he said no to the deal because he couldn’t cope with the “fame” and so forth, but it is speculated that they must have backed oot. No doubt saw his behaviour on Instagram and decided not to work with him. Ranting, swearing and calling people cunts.
    Swearing - believes his hunners ov followers like him swearing, especially the word cunt. If ya donna like it then unfollow, he loves a gid swearword, na ma quote.
    16/10/22 - Posted saying he dosna like the song ‘’The Bodyshop’’ by Sam Smith, he then came on later whining and swearing like a trooper saying it was his opinion, his page.
    Swearing - his niece watches his stories, so he proceeds to swear. Then swearing again.
    Adele - Watching Adele, is he on something?
    DM's - Moaned and groaned about IG, so turned his DM's off.
    Valens day - Valens day or Valance Day (Valentine's Day) Cannae say it and dosnae do it. But here he does. Anyway, 2022 did a collab with AvaMay to give away some stuff.

    What the hell

    21 Jul 2021 - Embracing the heat then the same day moaning about it.
    24 Dec 2021 - Went oot for some posh nosh, stood ootside waiting to go in (but didna tell the restaurant that they were there), after a while the reservation time had passed so Mario sent lil' Deek in to enquire as others were going in before them. Nay seats available the noo, got the deposit chucked back at them apparently, They went oof home and got a takeaway. Dots of doom to retell this adventure.
    29 Dec 2021 - After buying toosands of candy cane shite over the year he then declared that he had hated it all. He had struggled. it was all a lie and it was all for the gram. Goodbye, 2021.
    For Autumn 2022 - He Is now buying loads of tat for Autumn even though on July 29th he stated he isn't going to try and buy any. Today 06/08 he has reframed (no ma quote) himself and only got 2 items. We will be treatit to this joy and the others that are on order later as a countdown has now started.
    30 July 2022 - The day after the above he then started bleating on about Xmas vibes.
    09 Aug 2022 - During another heatwave, he has noo bought some Xmas tat. A story later that neet of him swearing and moaning about the heat while laid in his bed with the duvet oon.
    12 Aug 2022 - The reveal of his Autumn haul is on hold the noo. He's a bastard, living his life as it's noo the weekend plus he's melting like the wicked witch of the west. Moaning then moaning some more while he went to work (part-time). Later on, he was having the best day ever - in his brother's garden. (Tattle suspects a weekly cash-in-hand cleaning job).
    13 Aug 2022 - Not privy to his superb weekend oot as no pics but posted he was in bed by 8 pm, watching Elvis and bitching that he'd bought loads moor tat and he can spend his petty cash oon what he likes. capesh (na ma quote)
    Autumn 2022 haul reveal - Moor cushion covers. moor bed covers, moor throws, moor wax melters, moor cups, candles etc all shoved behind the concrete Danyell #gifted sofa. He has reframed himself this year, last year he was in a bad place but this year he is fine so likes to shop the noo.
    21/08/22 - Autumn has arrived. The Hobbit of Beirut has decided it is time. He can and he will.
    02/09/22 - Pretty Little Home haul – more tat in the hoose.
    03/09/22 - Bought his 1st Christmas present. He’s being sensible though.
    07/09/22 - Can't wait for Christmas to buy more.
    27/09/22 - States on a video he doesna have a red throw so treatit himself to one for his candy cane bedding. Well on his grid he has had 4, where are they noo. 1 and 2, and 3 and 4.
    28/10/22 - His Halloween, not Halloween but Autumn decs are coming doon and his Candy Cane Lame tat is a gonna go up, but he may not reveal it yet, so aye.
    29/10/22 - An illiterate and incomprehensible post. IG pressure is real, he gets it! He controls his social experience.
    Space - He is rather confused about space, it trips his mind, how does the earth float, do things live on other planets etc. It keeps him awake.
    AvaMayAromas - Announced to the world that he'd known for months that his bestie Hannah Chapman's business was in administration (her bf/supplier bought her out and heroically saved the day) but the bawbag felt the need to talk about it before she had revealed it on her IG.
    Belched - while filming his morning show of the gutted bedsit, the moron belched on camera.
    Besties - Believes he is besties with AvaMay Aromas owner Hannah and refers to her as ‘H', as well as Mrs Hinch and he calls her 'Soph'.
    Bumming fort - Set up a 'cosy area' for himself and Deek consisting of a single duvet oan the sofa minus any bed linen. Tattle has affectionately nicknamed this 'the Bumming fort' following speculation on its true purpose.
    Caff food - Eats anaemic/burnt fried breakfasts at their local caff. (Penjooooolum).
    Cash - Posted that Derek had given him some petty cash to go and spend on some Autumn tat that he isn't buying this year.
    Chandelier - New lounge light fitting Dec 2019.
    Christmas Eve boxes - Makes himself and Deek a box each containing PJs that were too small for them, believe bells etc. He purchased boxes in Nov 2020 but opened up different ones on the day...
    Clutter - Hates clutter. However, he had so much tat on his worktop it was heaving. Golden oldies were his bespoke cereal dispensers which disappeared and his wooden drink station which got wet when his boiler burst discarded.
    Crap behind his door - During his 38th birthday party, his coos rummaged through his kitchen cupboards. Their videos highlighted the crap being his door that he never shows.
    Conversations - Do they exist, maybe, it seems he recycles his stories. Bus stop conversation 16 Nov 2020 and an old lady stopped to talk to him at the bus stop. The point is he has said previously that he walks to work. If true he's a bus stop old lady magnet.
    Crossing the road - Claims his Aunt got hit by a car which makes him terrified to cross the road, so needs Derek to help. But he often films himself walking to work etc, which means he has to cross numerous roads on his own!
    Diamond - Regularly overuses the diamond emoji 💎 so aye.
    Diet - Claimed he had lost his appetite when he had Covid. It then returned and this is an example of a week's worth of food.
    Easter 2020 - Bought Derek two Creme eggs for his birthday, and then ate one himself. Even though he dissna like chocolate.
    Easter 2021 - admitted that Easter is for bains so dissna do it.
    Halloween - Dissna do Halloween but will decorate the flat in Autumn colours with pumpkins everywhere and watches Halloween filems in cosy pj's so aye.
    Febreze - Was gifted a personalised crystal-encrusted Febreze bottle, hailing it "stunning", "gorgeous" and "to die for" and it was never seen again. Newspaper article.
    Frame - Showed a frame containing the lyrics to "I wanna dance with somebody" by Whitney Houston. It included spelling mistakes and totally made-up words.
    Gucci - Melvin's parents bought Deek some Gucci trainers for Christmas 2019 - fake fake fake.
    Hooker shoes - For Christmas 2019 bought his ma 2 pairs of shoes at £5 a pair, bargain. Tattles christened them ''hooker shoes''.
    Hoosecoat - Sits and does his videos in his housecoat aka a dressing gown, pulled up to his neck making him look like an old man. (often to hide his work polo shirt so as not to give away where he works, albeit aw the lovelies know he cleans the polis office)
    Hotel break - 10 July 2021. Booked into a hotel doon the road so he could use his bath bombs. Nay only jessing or am I? He stayed the night at the Crowne Plaza in Glasgow and he did indeed take his Rose Wonderland AvaMay bath bombs. Later oon he gut a poorly from his shoes. Never trust new Zara shoes so aye. He was sorry to all his fans that had to whitness - na ma quote - him hopping.
    Job offers - In 2020 after he was made redundant from Debenhams he said he'd had 2 interviews and 6 job offers, and then went to work as a cleaner in the Polis offices, which is his dream job.
    Marion & Finance - Was called Marion in a newspaper article. Was it a mistake? The same newspaper also refers to Derek as his 'finance' which we believe to be accurate. lol.
    Money worries - 10 March 2022, Inflation has increased. He complained about Rayn's cat food rising from £80 to £95 a month. Got hundreds of DM’s but he foresaw it. He claimed that he was able to spend as he wished due to the fact he was tight with money but also had savings and a nest egg, so he then proceeded to give tips on saving money. If it continues then Onlyfans is an option it seems.
    Oof his page - insists that he now keeps Derek off his page to protect him as people are arseholes. If he is targeted then that's ok.
    Why then on the same day post a picture of Derek napping? Also, his highlights are full of Derek, should they be removed now?
    Derek is still been shown as his content is dire. 5/08/22. 06/08/22. 06/08/22
    Oof limits - Claims his family, including his nieces, are off-limits to the internet but posted a picture of his dad in the hospital, told the world when his parents paid off their mortgage, shows off his sister's care home garden and his brother’s house. Despite this, he will happily post about Derek's nephews.
    Placement - For some reason has his kettle and toaster plonked in the middle of the worktop.
    Products - Despite being able to hand count the number of hairs on his head Mario spends an inordinate sum of money on hair products and devices, most notably a Dyson hairdryer to replace his (in perfect working order) GHD hairdryer, GHD straighteners and Olaplex (or Oplex as he calls it).
    Rambles on - Said videos are often miles long, very rambling and don't get to the point.
    Remain youthful - doesn't sunbathe, sits in the shade. Pic of Derek on this app again.
    Small business saviour - Advocates for supporting small businesses, but spends most regularly in Primark, B&M, Home Bargains, The Range, and Amazon.
    31/07/22 - he's made lots of money for businesses by putting them on his page.
    Smart meter - Has an issue with his pre-paid smart meter. Didna have any problems for 8 years with his previous meters until they were swapped over (even though he was not living in the property then). But aww, bless his heart, now he has to top up regularly. Dissna understand why?
    Heating on - While the country is stressing about the cost of living increases regarding food and energy etc, this muppet is still living the high life of constantly buying tat and eating out. he has stated his heating is always roasting during winter. Read the room.
    Sophisticated - Believes he is highly sophisticated so eats a cheese board that doesn't contain any real cheese only processed meat & pickles and gets high tea afternoon tea which consists of a few dried-up sandwiches, cakes and loads of crisps.
    Shout-out - Screenshot a post from a fan showing a framed message asking for a shout-out, to which Mario had replied with a no as he was at work. Surely a wind-up.
    Still Game live 2019 - received tickets for the show at the SSE HYDRO @Stephaninnie said they sat in the wrong seats, nearer to the stage than they had got, didn't let on that they were freebies though.
    Stitches - Trigger warning for those of a sensitive deposition. He posted that he'd sustained an injury, a tiny but deep cut to his finger and it need stitches. Only a paper cut by the looks. Big baby. Later that evening while tucked up in his 2.5 tog duvet (as it's hot the noo) he said he'd had fun working at his place peace with his hand (na my quote). Also moaned about hating sweaty nickers (again na my quote)
    TV - Watches Irish TV channels.
    Timeline for the flat - The years he has been in the flat is somewhat make-believe, he states he's been there 8 years but the fact is the flat was Derek's. Derek was previously in the Army and lived in the flat on his own, purchasing items for it by saving. Mario was living in his Aunt's spare room, spied Derek, moved in and then like a cuckoo took over.
    But it has also been suggested by poster @Lipsy that Derek got the flat while with Mario, but they didn't live together as Derek was on benefits, so they were cheating the system.
    How they met - Mario in his delusion declares that Derek slid into his DMs, but @Babybail93 insists it was a game of “pull a pig” that got out of hand. Allegedly, Derek was oan a night oot wae his mates and they had a “pull a pig” bet fae a tenner. In minces Mario, he’s the biggest pig in the club. So Derek takes it hame fae the devil wae 2 backs dance. Wins his £10, but Mario never left the flat.
    The date they met - 23/09/22 posted that they'd forgotten their 9-year anniversary but on his IG he posted on 20/09/19 that they met 4 years prior to that. So 2015 = 7 years
    Pre- Mario - Derek's attempt at furnishing the flat.
    Post - Mario. One of Mario's attempts.
    Tress - Mario's bespoke word for the plural of trees, he wants to do 2 ''tress'' for Christmas. Side by side.
    Wi-fi - Framed his wi-fi password for his guests. and popped it onto his hall wall. (he never has any guests).
    IG Logo - Spent some moor money on moor tat - ''Always a good reminder to'' - what? purchased off Etsy a wooden IG logo!

    Dramas which amuse

    Dryergate - A boujie detailed explanation so aye. He was raging.

    Katie in Scotland - Dec 2021 - the millionaire 'tend scrubber Mrs Hinch popped to see her super fan, a disabled teen living in Glasgow.
    Mario was getting really excited as he anticipated a visit from Soph, he'd even taken 4 hours gutting the Beirut bedsit that morning. However, after a no-show from Hinch, he went into a rage, unfollowed the girl, deleted her picture from his grid, then had a wee comma break and went off the app. All was forgiven a day or 2 later as he came back, showing Hinch some love by fawning over her bairns and begging for a hoose coat. Kept his power though. People on his post then started asking if Hinch had snubbed him so he insinuated lied that his DM’s were not working and there were issues. In fact, he had turned them off and so new messages are not allowed.
    Katie's mum did leave a cryptic post, aimed at someone. Mario perhaps?
    Hinch missed out on some lovely snacks though.
    View thread 51 pg 30 then thread 52 for a laugh.

    Blind nikita dug. - Once chased by this bespoke breed of dog. He meant Akita. Nobody believes he would know what an Akita looks like anyhow. You can find it on his highlights under “for the laughs”.

    Postie - When he answered the door naked to the postman. Rumour has it the postie is still signed off work after this traumatic incident. You can find it on his highlights under “for the laughs”.

    Rats in the attic aka Smashed in letterbox - Reported scratching noises coming from the loft space above his flat. The cooncil was summoned to inspect (he'd heard it for weeks but had a strop and demanded priority service asap). He went silent on this whole incident before eventually addressing his follower's update requests. Insisted it was squirrels (boujie), Tattlers believe rats (not boujie). Derek even told him there's a person up there to freak him out.
    This culminated with his letterbox being smashed in by the cooncil. They'd mistook his hoose for the empty one next door (the neighbour who had secured exclusive loft access hasn't been about for a year allegedly serving at Her Majestys pleasure).
    Marion was absolutely raging cos he pays full rent! New locks and keys were provided but he still moaned that he'd lost earnings by having to rush home and that his hoose is unsafe the noo. Thread 4 for a laugh.

    Rayn - In the days before the cleaning G-d was discovered on here, baby gurul Rayn , bless her cotton socks, once jumped out of the window to run away from Mario. She is now trapped in the bedsit of doom alongside toousands of wax melts and reed diffusers. Alas, Tattle has no evidence of this so we all must visualise it in oor heeds.


    Covid - 25/06. Deek oot for the count with Covid. Nothing from the scrotum for a few days until 30/06 when he announced he'd caught it as well. Apparently, it's horrendous, what would it be like without the vacations vaccinations, he didn't know you could get this ill. Then silence again until 02/7 when he re-posted his & the blister's unfiltered pic again, but he's still positive with bad skin and canna eat so aye. However, later on that day he was spotted oot in the supermarket with Deek. 03/7 while still positive he went for a walk but couldn't make it so had a rest on the pavement.

    Exempt - During Covid 19 restrictions mask-wearing is recommended in shops and on public transport. Mario was seen wearing a mask & on New Year’s eve, but lately, numerous people have seen Mario & Derek not wearing any, they have also been seen wearing a sunflower lanyard that makes them exempt. During a trip to have his eyebrows done no mask was worn, he was indeed exempt according to the salon. On his IG Mario has not expressed an opinion or reason as to why he is exempt, so we believe he is lying, however, a lanyard is seen on 05/03/2022 and it’s an IBS card. (Shart card in Mario’s case— see aforementioned terrible diet).

    G-dsend - Claimed Covid was a g-dsend as it allowed him to become debt-free. videos.

    Granny basher - 26/06. A Tattle poster said they were in HB shopping with their 84-year-old granny when Maz & Deek (who was supposedly ill with the Rona) rudely barged into them in the aisle. When confronted he waved his fake shitting exemption card at them but then hastily hot-footed it when explicitly told that his followers should duly know that Deek was oot & aboot.

    He's a nasty bitch so aye

    DM - a follower's BF sent Mario a DM about his haul and Mario replied with a really nasty rant.
    DM - and again. Someone mentioned his cheap Primark clothing and the impacts.
    Derek - Was really nasty towards Derek for using a bottle of Jo Malone hand wash which was only for guests & for show. Also, he moans at Derek for no reason. #freeDerek.
    Fanny - Singing the Christmas Coca-Cola ad and then calling Deek a fanny.
    Rayn - Called Rayn a wee bitch for no reason other than he's a dick, however, stated later it was banter. #freeRayn.
    03/10/22 - Alluded that Rayn had pilfered some kitty food he waz gifting away to some shelter for homeless pussies and hounds. The fly cat - na ma quote - had been scoffing it for 4 days and Mazza didna notice until she started sharting all over the bedsit, so aye. He waz fumming - na ma quote agin - she's gitting na mare treatits the noo.
    Cleaners - Sept 2020. In response to a message from a fan saying their mother is a cleaner, Mario was disparaging about cleaners, calling them "dirty scrubbers". Then on 8th June 2021, he claimed he pretty much single-handedly saved Scotland during the pandemic because he's a cleaner, (one that works for about three hours a day in an office that's not being used much at the moment)
    Nasty response when questioned. again.
    Weather - 17 June 2022. During a heatwave and days of moaning about the heat. Posted that he was wishing for cooler weather. When it finally came to some parts his response was for the South of the UK to ''I hope you sweat your tits off''.
    Retail - New Year 2019. Ordered some JD trainers on Boxing Day then had a rant as not arrived, said that if his online order didn't get sorted soon he was going to go in-store and go nuts. At this time he worked in retail so knows the shite workers get from the public.
    Twitter - Wrote some nasty things on Twitter. People on the bus. An elderly lady in his shop.
    Nasty bitch - Nasty bitch video

    Trolls and woe is me

    Constantly uploads cryptic, boohoo, me me me posts & stories on his and every other IG fuckers accounts, bitching about life on the gram, the trolls, jealousy of him, blah blah. But he's now not bothered.

    16/05/20 - Woe is me. then Mrs Hinch butts in, his reply - love ya doll, I ain't going nowhere.
    03/03/22 - Own page - Trolls
    04/03/22 - On Miss Greedy page.
    05/03/22 - About Miss Greedy and his own pity party.
    05/03/22 - Again, really rambling on.
    05/03/22 - Again about Trolls, give it up perrleez.
    06/03/22 - Trolls again, but his DMs don't work.
    06/03/22 - Grid post.
    17/03/22 - Comment on someone’s post.
    17/03/22 - He has read tattle but nae more.
    24/03/22 - Not bothered.
    13/04/22 - Moaning.
    28/04/22 - Stressful day working part-time
    17/07/22 - Posted about weirdos keeping screenshots of him on their phone. He's fine though. (see OMG, cosmetic procedures)
    31/07/22 - He's not insecure anymore. He does get things gifted but he's the saviour of small businesses.
    21/08/22 - His page is his diary (complaining on FB about this) he uses his gut! and he will one day tell his kids how his insta page went.
    20/09/22 - Are we in for a wee prelude to a new depression episode? Wintum is coming so aye. Batten doon the hatches.
    03/10/22 - Troll pic containing an illiterate message. Trying to appear intelligent but falls short, idiot. (we believe he caught up reading tattle and saw us ribbing his blister's camel toe)
    09/10/22 - Stills maintains he dosna read Tattle but someone has sent him a death threat. He’s still standing.
    16/10/22 - No names mentioned but for all that hate his food, Kiss his shitty arse.
    17/10/22 - His ''always'' response to an IG post titled Respond don’t React.
    25/10/22 - Posted another quote aimed at trolls. Facts
    06/11/22 - This Christmas he is fine. Stress free. He is me and stronger than ever. Can’t take it with you when you are gone so live life now.
    19/11/22 - Responded to a ''troll'' comment relating to his Elbow Grease PP video.
    19/11/22 - That night claimed he couldn't sleep due to messages, not troll ones but Tattle thinks differently.

    Entertaining stuff and singing videos

    Salmon rug. aka salmon beach towel
    Butter plug in the shape of Santa.
    Deek and Mazda at a Spice Girls concert.
    #dryer-gate - see above in dramas which amuse.
    Maz and Deek changing into PJ’s.
    ‘’Higher love’’ by Kygo & Whitney Houston - this one is just him dancing and includes his tattie heart & sweaty pits.
    Insta v reality. Birthday pic.

    Singing videos.

    ''Simply the best'' by Tina Turner.
    ''I wanna dance with somebody'' by Whitney Houston.
    ''Diamonds'' by Rhianna.
    ''Let you love me'' by Rita Ora.
    ''Killing me softly with his song'' by Fugees.
    ''Higher love'' by Kygo & Whitney Houston.
    ‘’Dancing with a stranger’’ by Sam Smith & Normani.

    Laptop - Mario purchased a £140 laptop this week and stated it was for IG and his work. What the hell. Tattle discussed why, as a cleaner, he required one for work.
    Well, we believe Tattle has discovered why Mazzo wants the Curry 32GB crappy lappy.
    Drumroll please, it's to make PowerPoint stories of his daily morning ritual of gutting the bedsit and for making paid #ADs for Febreze on Thursday and Friday.


    Many of his idiotic posts/words etc have been turned into Mario sayings on the threads.
    Some have also come from his fans.

    - ''washings'' (bespoke meaning of washing or laundry) Mare washings
    - ''cunt washing''. or ''cunt of a washing''
    - ''Clutching ma beak''.
    - "So aye".
    - “Stay in yer ain lain”.
    - “and so forth”.
    - ''crabbit''
    - “If you don't know, get to know!” An inducement to buy, beg, borrow or steal whatever thing he's promoting as an absolute staple.
    - “and so morth” (when he’s tripping over his falsers).
    - "In this dayn of dawn" (in this day and age).
    - “Av gutted this full place” which means he has cleaned and wiped down the flat.
    - "Ah pay fuhl rent". Reminds his followers of the full rent payment arrangement with the Council whenever bemoaning an issue requiring the landlord's attention.
    - "Sliding through the flairboards". Describes being excessively hot.
    - "Hellooooo ma lovelies", while waving strangler fingers.
    - "Ah treatit masel"(I treated myself).
    - "Derek treatit me" (I treated myself but want it to look like Deek adores me).
    - “Bitch stole my moves”.
    - ''Take in the wealth'', which turned into ''smell the wealth''. Pic.
    - Spine bright like a diamond Pic.
    - ''Take a seat and get some class'' (used as a rebuke).
    - ''Ma page, ma rules''.
    - ''Nae debates on ma page!'' (when he tried to convince his followers that a gifted lamp was in the colour grey and not pink… it was pink).
    - ''Practice makes ok'' (I’m a fucking car crash failure at everything).
    - ''Absolute staple'' (covers practically every cleaning/skincare/wax melt product he uses).
    - ''IBS through the roof'' (severe dose of the shits).
    - ''Smellness''. Used to describe the aroma coming from his 2nd lot of gifted sofas.
    - ''Ah hate ma f*ckin life'' (used no matter the scale of the adversity faced).
    - "I'm in complete empathy".
    - ''Karmer on your arse'' (a playful karma curse).
    - ''Put a comma in your life'' (when he's flounced off social media).
    - See A Sucker bedding (extra lols cos he was showing the Hinch seersucker bedding at the time).
    - In the colour <insert word> in the scent <insert word> (used when he mistakes himself for a QVC presenter).
    - It's real life, no Harrods (addressing Tattlers concerns for the buckled wire shelf, behind the TV, at the vanity area).
    - Pacifically (bespoke way of saying specifically).
    - Unable to pronounce the word 'certificate'.
    - The blister (pish attempt at Cockney rhyming slang, the nickname for his sister).
    - The Don (his Dad who is one-hundredth Italian).
    - Winter is 'Wintum'

    Spelling mistakes

    - Arriterate (re-iterate).
    - Arons (errands).
    - Bergamont (cannae pronounce Bergamot).
    - bootle (bottle)
    - bruse (bruce his massage therapist)
    - Capesh (Capeesh)
    - Chucky knit (Chunky knit).
    - Crapet (carpet).
    - Dunellum (Dunelm Mill).
    - Fadum (fathom).
    - Falbon. (His bespoke pronunciation of Fablon brings untold joy to Tattlers).
    - Joinery (Journey)
    - loveleis (lovelies)
    - Reframed (restrained or refrained)
    - Seashells (cannae pronounce Seychelles).
    - sleepers (slippers)
    - To (too)
    - Tong Braxston (aka Toni Braxton).
    - Tress (trees)
    - Unindated (inundated).
    - Waaahffle (waffle).
    - Word, as in Derek is Marion's world.
    - Wuhnst (once).
    - You’se (you).

    Tattle isms

    Boaby -The word 'boaby', is added into a thread whenever and wherever it's appropriate. It is a Scottish reference for the penis.


    In a very similar vein to Mariah Carey calling her fans ‘Lambs’ and Lady Gaga calling her fans ‘Little Monsters’, the equally or arguably more famous Mario, refers to his as ‘Lovelies’. Tattle posters have claimed this as their own and now call each other lovelies as a term of endearment.

    Treatit Hisself

    Suggestion by @Whenthelightsturntostars.

    Autumn 2021, amount tallied by @OhhBacon
    A snippet of the tat he bought = £373.38 (the fake books might be £45 so add that on as well)

    For Christmas 2021 tallied by @OhhBacon
    Snippet of the tat he bought = £159.45

    August 2022
    For Autumn 2022. About £160-180 on this haul.
    Autumn bits for his bed, Orange towel for his bathroom, Pom poms on sticks for his vases, Porcelain pumpkins, Black candle sticks
    Various autumn bits, Cauldron wax melt burner, Wooden autumn coasters, Pillowcases for his bed, Pillowcases for his wee sofa,
    16/08/2022 - Soaps £13 for 2. UGG "sleepers" - £80 (?) Air fryer - £100 approx
    18/08/2022 - £17 - Emily made him do it.
    20/08/2022 - Washing basket £19. 3 glass jars £10.50
    22/08/2022 - Timberland boots with his birthday money - £108 Cheeky hot chocolate order - £13+
    26/08/2022 - Treatit Deekz to Timberland boots - £90
    28/08/2022 - Duvet coat - £130
    31/08/2022 - Home treats and clothes - £95
    Total ish = £747.50 not including his birthday money treatit boots.

    September 2022
    03/09/22 - Diffuser and candle - £30. Lamp - £95. Starbucks cup - £13.15. = £138.15.
    07/09/22 - Shein haul, Coat £9.50. Pj set £11.00. 2 scarves @£9.95 each. Candle holders: £5. IG sign from Etsy (?) Hoosecoat (?) = £45.40
    11/09/22 - Airwick plug-in and refills = £18 approx.
    12/09/22 - Derek treatit him to a bespoke hot choc station, to go next to the 1 he already has. (£32)
    13/09/22 - New Christmas bedding is incoming. £32 + cushion + throw. = £32.00.
    14/09/22 - Some mare battery-operated tree lights = £11.99.
    17/09/22 - Not sure when purchased but storied wearing some tan Balenciaga booties. Real price = £595 or fake = no idea.
    17/09/22 - Another mug - £2.00. Candy Cane picks - £2.00. Mare lights - £3.00. 2 x reduced vases for next year - £2.00. = £9.00.
    18/09/22 - Mare candy cane tat = £8.50.
    19/09/22 - Mare Christmas stockings from Shein - price unknown but likely na mare than a £1 - seems it is £5.50.
    20/09/22 - Asda George bedding set - £12 and a Home Bargain Santa Post box - £7.99. = £19.99.
    21/09/22 - Look Fantastic haul. Shampoo & Conditioner - £10, Coconut body wash - £6.39, Toothpaste - £7.00 = £23.69.
    25/09/22 - A North pole stand - £5, 2 x 10m Christmas paper - 99p each = £6.98. Then a reel of gifted crap from Tony Almond.
    27/09/22 - His shitty Shein stocking has arrived. Biscuit barrel - £10. Mare signs - £5.00 and mare throws - £11.00. = £26.00.
    27/09/22 - From his reel and rambling video. New jammies, New jeans, 2x Etsy signs, cushion covers. tree skirt.+
    28/09/22 - A 7ft Christmas tree. Deek apparently bought it. = £59.99
    Total ish = £345.20 (not counted the treatit tree £405.19, the treatit new sub-station £437.19 and his Balenciaga booties = £dog shite amount. The hoosecoat & sign have no idea.)


    08/10/22 - Haul from multiple places including gifted tat - the total could be £125.25 or £129.51. (calcs on the post may be wrong, but it's still a fair amount)
    16/10/22 - Candy Came shite agin, no idea about the prices but shall summarize at £25. But there's mare in coming. - £8.99
    22/10/22 - Christmas cleaning multiple product haul which he has been collecting for a few weeks, Dosna like clutter and is planning a speed clean soon, - approx = £50.
    24/10/22 - Crocs in the colour mushroom beige. He was howling at his DM's though. £44.99.
    26/10/22 - Sofa table - £50.
    29/10/22 - Purchased a fugly mug with a top, Unknown shop and unknown price so shall say £4.99
    30/10/22 - Mare candy cane and mare gingerbread shite. He did get that dish thing he was converting, see above = £60.95.
    30/10/22 - Even mare tat = £30.90.
    Total ish - £396.34.

    November. Christmas has started.

    02/11/22 - Christmas bedding already accounted for (see Sept). Cushions & throw approx £23 - £30.
    07/11/22 - Wire words = £46..50.
    12/11/22 - Inthestyle PJs in small. £24.00 and another set coming but na idea what.
    23/11/22 - Wants some mare Candy Lame crap so got one a day later. = £34.99.
    26/11/22 - Brow treatments. £125 or *£255.
    27/11/22 - A khaki fleece and 2 pairs of gloves = £12
    Total ish - £265.49 - £272.49 or *£402.49 and 2 mare PJs but not shown yet.

    Courtesy of @Whenthelightsturntostars
    Not sure when or if he did indeed show these off.
    Christmas 2022: I, Marion's mental breakdown edition
    Some things he's posted about recently so didn't include. This is just an idea of what he's spent. It's safe to say he's probably spent over £300 on Christmas tat when you include the £60 tree.
    Total £300

    Eating oot and in

    - 16/08/22 - jamjarpaisley
    - 03/09/22 - Café Su breakfast.
    - 04/09/22 - Chinese for dinner.
    - 08/09/22 - Weatherspoon's brekkie.
    - 17/09/22 - Bella Italia Edinburgh - £41.00. With booze.
    - 20/09/22 - Early evening oot - booze.
    - 28/09/22 - A fuck it Chinese.
    Mare than £100 spent.

    - 08/10/22 - A Chinese.
    - 13/10/22 - JamJar. Chilli fa him and Steal pie fa Deek.
    - 14/10/22 - A Chinese.
    - 15/10/22 - breakfast somewhere. Not specified.
    - 19/10/22 - Farmhouse Inns - approx £20.00.
    - 22/10/22 - Takeaway Saturday, na idea wat yet.
    Mare than £100 spent.

    - 06/11/22 - First time in Wagamamas on Johnny's b/d. Slop of a meal shown. Johnny may be paying. = £12.00
    - 06/11/22 - Eat in. Pie, crinkly chips, broccoli and gravy.
    - 12/11/22 - M&S sandwich, cake and tea = £17 approx.
    - 26/11/22 - At The Vine Prestwick, brekkie with cuppas and cake = £36.35 ish.
    - 29/11/22 - Cafe, na idea where. Burger butty with chips and a side of pickled onions. so guess. £20
    total ish = £29.00

    Nigella Mcknight

    - Stovie.
    - Spag bol.
    - Spag bol again but looks like stovies. 🤢
    - Mince with swede & turnip. Confirmed he boils it. :sick:
    - Tomato & basil soup. Made with shedloads of stock cubes, garlic granules and a sprinkle of dried basil. Salt galore yum.
    - He is bloody good at deep-fat frying eggs.
    - Makes a Starbucks iced tea with frozen fresh raspberries.
    - Airfyer extraordinaire. salt fish and salt chips with pepper veggies.

    Cooking isn't the family's strong point either.
    - His sister’s Sunday dinner.

    Newspaper articles

    1. Scotland's male Mrs Hinch has turned his council flat into a cleanfluencer paradise
    2. Scotland's male Mrs Hinch Mario bravely opens up about being bullied at school
    3. 8 cleaning accounts to follow.
    4. Mentioned in Mrs Hinch book.
    5. Again.
    6. When he was called Marion Mcknight and Derek referred to as his finance.
    7. Cleaning his oven.

    Brands he hawks

    - AvaMayAromas, including his own scent which is a knock-off of Tom Ford, called Mario Black Orchid.
    (Will this continue? She has since gone into administration owing nearly £0.9m, sold the business to her new BF but trading under the same name)
    - Sph2onge.
    - Discounted beds (Glasgow) Danyell. Reads here lol
    - Pagazzilighting. - Not any mare. His discount code was pulled.
    - Febreze - allegedly.
    - He got #gifted some new teeth. The bespoke mould of the before and after is iconic:

    Posted by @G&TGal II - A friend who is a social media director in Glasgow summed him up in one word ‘rancid’.

    They said this is why he is never considered by the big brands and even the small campaigns.
    Mario is considered by them to be unsuitable for even the smallest most local campaign due to his foul mouth, his rants on stories and his unpredictability.
    Referring to a campaign promoting Glasgow tourism. One comment regarding Mario was that they want to showcase the best of Glasgow and encourage people to come to visit, not put them off.


    Mario's CV courtesy of @laynelo_


    Mop Kick





    So aye…. treatit yourselves and go and watch his highlights! Is he a parody or not? That’s always up for debate. But there's nae debates oan ma page.

    Back to his threads


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