Cleaning with Mario #32 hair mask in the scent pointless

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Oh what a mortifying “party” poor, poor Derek! He’s probably wishing Mario would bugger off for good and take his tat with him. Or he’s wishing the cake has some bespoke weed in it.
I laughed so much at the “high tea” what planet are you on Mario?! 🤣 that’s some crissss, joos and a sandwich mate. Bairns have better lunchboxes at school!

Has he got Derek a present this year? I wonder what knock off he’s managed to get.
 
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That High Tea 😖
He's cut the butties into halves though. Think he's competition for The Ritz 😂😂😂
 
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That High Tea 😖
He's cut the butties into halves though. Think he's competition for The Ritz 😂😂😂
He could have his own bespoke restaurant “The Ratz” 🐀 While eating your crissss and drinking diluting jooos you can listen to the scuttling of the rats in the loft, what a relaxing ambience. Mwah mwah 😘 😘
 
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Leave it to Marion to pull off that ridiculous balloon display that’s been arranged 0.1% for Derek’s benefit and 99.9% because he’s seen other people on Instagram with them and he’s never met a bandwagon he didn’t want to jump on 🙄 I hope Rayn pops the whole bleeping thing.
The balloon display was 100% for the gram 😂😂 I don't think Deek gives a toss and would probably prefer a nice fat bag o'grass ta celebrate his Birthday instead of that staged nonsense! 🤣
 
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I have no words. A 37 year old man and a 33 year old man having a party fit for a five year old. Mortifying.
 
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1 scone, half a filled roll and a rice krispie bun!
Nothing says high tea more!

Happy Birthday Derek. I hope you go out for a big fish supper later as that birthday tea wouldn't fill a hole in your tooth pal
 
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Imagine the two of them, perched uncomfortably on that #gifted couch, eating what looks like the leftovers from a really tit funeral buffet, probably in complete silence apart from the sound of Bargain Hunt on the telly in the background and Moira hissing at Rayn for getting too close to the balloon arch ☹
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Poor wee Derek looks held captive! Someone phone the polis😓 #FREEDEREK #FREERAYN
 
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Birthdays are about what the birthday boy or girl wants. Not what you want. Mario, in typically stupid fashion, has done what he thinks insta wants. Fail x three.
So Derek has had a tit mortifying birthday, at his age it should be getting drunk and sex*
*ok that might just be me, but it's still better than that tea that looked like he'd shoplifted bits that were about to be scraped off people's plates.
Imagine knowing the rest of your life was going to be lived in such a twee and laughable way. Well, until the repo man comes knocking.
 
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Birthdays are about what the birthday boy or girl wants. Not what you want. Mario, in typically stupid fashion, has done what he thinks insta wants. Fail x three.
So Derek has had a tit mortifying birthday, at his age it should be getting drunk and sex*
*ok that might just be me, but it's still better than that tea that looked like he'd shoplifted bits that were about to be scraped off people's plates.
Imagine knowing the rest of your life was going to be lived in such a twee and laughable way. Well, until the repo man comes knocking.
🙋🏻‍♀️ No not just you 🤭🤣
 
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There’s so many lovely small cafes in Paisley doing Afternoon Tea deliveries for about £15 just now. Why didn’t he just order one instead of putting on that tit show. Different story when it’s his birthday tho. 💎🥔
 
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Not sure which high-end establishments Mazza frequents BUT that is not a high tea.

That jam (I assume it's jam) looks like ketchup.

I cup, 2 spoons?

 
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Omg that high tea looks like the aftermath of a board meeting buffet when the leftovers are put out for the staff.

So that day Moira said he'd sorted Deek's birthday, he was ordering balloons and a cake topper?
 
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I’m just pleased to see wee Deek is still with us and not dead 🤣 thought Marion had finally done away with him we haven’t seen him in ages. He wheeled the wee hostage out for a photo and has locked him back up again!
 
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I have no words. A 37 year old man and a 33 year old man having a party fit for a five year old. Mortifying.
Wee Derek has had the best day and he enjoyed his balloons.

I can’t work out why Derek is not holding his cake? It’s so weird and awkward he is standing there dazed as if under duress and Melv is holding the cake for the photo, I can’t cope with the awkwardness 😆
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Wee Derek has had the best day and he enjoyed his balloons.

I can’t work out why Derek is not holding his cake? It’s so weird and awkward he is standing there dazed as if under duress and Melv is holding the cake for the photo, I can’t cope with the awkwardness 😆
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Imagine Marion singing Happy Birthday to him fs🤣

Happy birfdayy tae yous
Happy birfddayy tae yous
happy birfdayyy dearrrr ma wee hostageeee... so ayeee❤*clutches manky hoosecoat*
 
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