Cleaning with Mario #3 Wiki

Dramas which amuse

Blind nikita dug. - Once chased by this bespoke breed of dog. He meant Akita. Nobody believes he would know what an Akita looks like anyhow. See Ditty at the end of this page for a wee laugh.

Crossing the road 2019 - After he nearly got mowed doon that day but then went to B & M, he recalled how his Aunt got hit by a car, which makes him terrified to cross the road. So he either has Derek to help or he goes the long way around. But he often films himself walking to work etc, which means he has to cross numerous roads on his own!

Curtis and Derek - Curtis and Derek at the Avamay 1st birthday bash 2019. Derek was loving life, busting some moves with his new mate so Mario sulked oof and locked him out of their hotel room.

Dryergate - A boujie detailed explanation so aye. He was raging.

Fire in the hall - Announced 29th Dec that there had been a wee small fire in his hallway on Christmas Eve. Long story short, while he was cleaning the ootside door and talking to a junkie neighbour the tree next to a candle burst into flame. Rather than throwing a wet towel over it he moved it into the kitchen and burnt his hand. Took 8 Kalms to calm doon.
Well seeing as all this was not documented at the time and after getting in from work he was in red PJs at the time of the incident, we declared this BS. Full fairytale story here.

Hinch grief leave - His mate Soph lost her dad on 25/04/24.
11/06/24 he posted that IG was not the same without her, all messages sent to Mario he passed onto her. Love you doll. Tattle thought this was highly inappropriate while she was oof line. The morning after he posted again, this time talking about his post from yesterday, slapping his lips together, sprouting she was sorely missed and hopefully she will return.
30/08/24 - received unexpectedly at his door, that you have to buzz through, a hamper of Hinch crap - a hat, scaft, blanket, mug. Cosy season.
Anyhoo Hinch has another laundry collection released.
04/09/24 - received some Hinch laundry crap and did an #ad with tags.
07/09/24 - leaving messages on her 2 reels, nay responses and nay reposting of his ad even though she did for lesser grammers.
08/09/24 - he did another tag of her products with a rarely done cleaning video.
Nay birthday IG greetings/card/gift this year.
11/09/24 - posted that today was the day he cuts out all things that make him feel negative, Pause and let it go. Then a quote ''I learnt who deserves a seat at my table'' with his comment on it - ''you all know so well''. Tattle speculated this was Hinch related.
17/09/24 - Hinch posted mare huns laundry reels, nay Mario's again lol.
27/09/24 - Hinch finally liked a post of his on her silkie reel.

Katie in Scotland - Dec 2021 - the millionaire 'tend scrubber Mrs Hinch popped in to see her super fan, a disabled teen living in Glasgow.
Mario was getting really excited as he anticipated a visit from Soph, he'd even taken 4 hours gutting the Beirut bedsit that morning.
However, after a no-show from Hinch, he went into a rage, unfollowed the girl, deleted her picture from his grid, then had a wee comma break and went off the app. All was forgiven a day or 2 later as he came back, showing Hinch some love by fawning over her bairns and begging for a hoose coat. Kept his power though.
People on his post then started asking if Hinch had snubbed him so he insinuated lied that his DM’s were not working and there were issues. In fact, he had turned them off and so new messages are not allowed.
Katie's mum did leave a cryptic post, aimed at someone. Mario perhaps?
Hinch missed out on some lovely snacks though.
View thread 51 pg 30 then thread 52 for a laugh.
Update - Jan 15th 2023 - A weekend of fun, see Adventures of Mario in LOL - Maz & H went to see the teen he blocked last year. For this, he received a star.
Update - Oct 06th 2023. Sofa Hunch advertised a wax melt that was a collab with Katie. raising funds for cerebral palsy. Mario did not advertise this or acknowledge it at all.

Postie - When he answered the door naked to the postman. Rumour has it the postie is still signed off work after this traumatic incident.
Then apparently, a few months later, the postie was on his train. (No original post available, reposted by a hun.)

#Peppergate.

Rats in the attic aka Smashed in letterbox - Reported scratching noises coming from the loft space above his flat. The cooncil was summoned to inspect. Phoned (he'd heard it for weeks but had a strop and demanded priority service asap) and was told 3 working days, with this he dispatched his bodyguard Derek to the offices (Thurs) and Derek reported back Tues (3 working days)
Mario was satisfied with this. He went silent on this whole incident before eventually addressing his follower's update requests. Insisted it was squirrels (boujie), Tattlers believe rats (not boujie).
Derek even told him there's a person up there to freak him out.
This culminated with his letterbox being smashed in by the cooncil. They'd mistook his hoose for the empty one next door (the neighbour who had secured exclusive loft access hasn't been about for a year allegedly serving at Her Majestys pleasure).
Marion was absolutely raging cos he pays full rent! New locks and keys were provided but he still moaned that he'd lost earnings by having to rush home and that his hoose is unsafe the noo. Thread 4 for a laugh.
21/12/24 - They are back ma loverlies. The rats squirrels are in the loft for wintum agin. Been there for 5 weeks, he's getting nay sleep and the bastard cooncil are doing fook all. He cannae harm them cos they are indangered nay ma quote. The cooncil inspector was more interested in his 2 weeks oof, so was escorted oot. oh nay he wasn't. He still loves his safe space but the whole block needs demolition agin nay ma quote. It's the money pit of living.

Rayn - In the days before the cleaning God OG had his oon thread, baby gurul Rayn, bless her cotton socks, once jumped out of the window to run away from Mario. He spent 'ooors and ooors' walking the streets crying & screaming Raaaaaaayyynnn!!! at the top of his lungs. She is now trapped in the bedsit of doom alongside toousands of wax melts and reed diffusers. Alas, Tattle has no evidence of this so we all must visualise it in oor heeds.

Restaurant wouldnay let them in - 24 Dec 2021. Went oot for some posh nosh, stood ootside waiting to go in (but didna tell the restaurant that they were there), after a while the reservation time had passed so Mario sent lil' Deek in to enquire as others were going in before them. Nay seats available the noo, got the deposit chucked back at them apparently, They went oof home and got a takeaway. Dots of doom to retell this adventure.

Waterfall lounge decoration - Timeline for this epic drama.
05/08/24 - Posted about the so-called repair on the roof as his ceiling is leaking again, called the council cowboys so will be calling them in the morning. The council has zero respect for its tenants, they are liars blah blah. Then later came on again complaining But dosna want to buy property as that won't solve it.
08/08/24 - The cooncil have erected some scaffolding ootside his palace. He believes it's due to his (above) rant but Tattle assumes it was due to the renovations that are due. That night he had a rant, ''he was born in the scheme he will die from a scheme'', he loves his safe space and the c*nts that take pics he dosna give a fook. Rant aboot influencers getting holidays, houses etc but will accept a free hoose. However, he is that bitch and he ''stands in his stance''. He is over it.
21/08/24 - Came hame and the rain is dripping doon his wall agin. he is fumming at the cooncil. The roofers cannae go up the noo as it’s too windy. Hoo can he make it waterproof while he goes to bed. They went up for 20 mins, banged aboot for an hoor! What is he gonna wake up to? Will withhold his rent so he will. Cowboys. Still raging.
22/08/24 - Agin still ranting, he was gonna go oot and scream at the roofers but he's soooo tired. Finally left - post deleted later on. He's leaving it for the noo as hopefully it's sorted.
Then Deek posted....Marion on the sofa in his Grinch PJs fake sleeping.
The wally even set up a highlight page titled PTRC - Paper Trail Renfrewshire Council lol. He later deleted it.

Birthday OMG

38th birthday - Received Jo Malone perfume, a reed diffuser and a few candles, to go with the tons he is hawking with Ava. Also got a huge mirra from DanYell. Stayed in the swanky Glasgow Dakota hotel with Derek & Hannah but dinna eat in the restaurant, went to a less pricey joint at the amoremerchantcity and was back in beed by 10. The day after ''H'' got a flat tyre so Deek decided to feek oof and get a train hame, but they bet him back lol. That night he had a gang of his female IG heavies visit and after getting pished they ransacked his kitchen cupboards.
Thread 42 for the laugh. Was this hung up? Brought hame the hotel sleepers.
Highlights to watch. and Party time.

39th Birthday - Day befare his birthday. Had a pink drink reminiscing on when he met Derek, how he found this app and being the badest* bitch. *nay ma quote.
Wore the same shirt as last year. He had nay plans but then Deek got the runs so Mario had a crappy dinner for one. He spent his birthday money on moor crap though. Bizarrely, nay shoutoots from his besties or family members only some random instahuns etc.

40th birthday - He wanted no fuss but let the birthday weekend commence.
Thursday 25/08 - received some floowers from Misfit Jaw, Deek has forked oot for an afternoon tea at Tigerlilys in Edinburgh to be taken some time.
Friday - received some mare floowers from his 'clients'. Aftar work he went far a lash lift. His fake tan went wrang but it's sorted the noo and he burnt a top he was ta wear.
Saturday - went far a haircut. Got a new top. His stray tan is the noo okay. Chill time with some Asti - boujee. Mare floowers. Got ready - most of Tattle agreed he looked okay. Oot with his fam, Krystal Chandelier baked him a huge cake and they celebrated at Trattoria Genova. Reel on IG saying he is 40 and fabulous, a day early.
Birthday day 27/08 - He reposted all of his huns birthday messages, floowers from his ''mates'' at carpetkerr. Then Edinburgh beckoned. the Tigetlily afternoon tea with a drink, another drink at Harvey Nichols and then back in Glasgie far another drink at Amore Merchant City along with a meal. A very late IG post from his mate Soph.
Then to top the day off - na ma quote - he practically self-combusted when he received some crappy floowers oof 'Our Soph' - all she did was wire the money and his mammy's floower shop made them up.
Annual leave week. 40th birthday
Monday. 28/08 - He made a reel montage of his day, posting it at 7:30 am. Showed oof his personalised ''Maz'' bottle of Jo Malone perfume that he had purchased with some of his birthday money. Spoons breakfast with his sister-in-law and a prezzie.
Tuesday 29/08 - Put on his Milton Brown - na ma quote. Gobby Rendal sent him some criss from Amazon and colouring books with pens.
Wednesday 30/08 - He's after some Barbie perfume and got some Halloween stuff. But he is no fan of Halloween! Then got some late flowers from AvaMayAromas.
Thursday 31/08 - Has difficulty sleeping. Woke up at 4.44 and blamed it on the Angels. But he's reading a book called 'The Help'' atm.
Friday 01/09 - Hello September Me & my circle. Showed his birthday present of a crochet throw that he said was knitted. Gutted the hoose ready for his visitor. Hannah waz coming. She took him oot ta Moskito far a surprise, while he was dressed like Roy Cropper. His circle pals were there as well. He knew nothing about it. From page 26 thread 107.
Saturday 02/09 - Went oot for brekkie. Hannah went home back to Mexborough. He was grateful far his huge Stanley water bottle. He's the autumn King but he's waiting befare this bastard heatwave goes befare he puts his up.
Sunday 03/09 - Deek who is never ill had a cold but Maz still had a haul to show us all.
Back to work.
Monday 04/09 - Back ta work but he has a cold the noo. But he moves so he does. He feels horrendous while lying in bed in his Bet Lynch PJs showing oof his hairy legs.
Then nothing until.
Thursday 07/09 - he has the Rona, sobbing in his shower cos it's that bad.

41st birthday - A reel of him putting candles on a small crap cake then making a wish. Reposts from the usual suspects, blister, H, Gobby and Misfit. however, Deek has done gouurd, bought him a ''real goldtone'' bracelet by Vivienne Westwood, price unknown but piccy of one here. Beaverbrooks. Later that evening afternoon they ended up at Il Pavone for some fine dining and a couple of drinky poos. Back in bed at 8pm talking aboot Christmas and nay mare annual leave the noo. Come Wednesday morn he deleted all his stories.
His blister calls him Marma.

Singing videos & entertaining stuff.

Singing videos.

''Simply the best'' by Tina Turner.
''I wanna dance with somebody'' by Whitney Houston.
''Diamonds'' by Rhianna.
''Let you love me'' by Rita Ora.
''Killing me softly with his song'' by Fugees.
''Higher love'' by Kygo & Whitney Houston.
‘’Dancing with a stranger’’ by Sam Smith & Normani.

Entertaining stuff.

#bawwatch
Salmon rug. aka salmon beach towel
Butter plug in the shape of Santa.
Deek and Mazda at a Spice Girls concert.
#dryer-gate - (go read, it's in dramas which amuse on the other page)
Maz and Deek changing into PJ’s.
‘’Higher love’’ by Kygo & Whitney Houston - this one is just him dancing and includes his tattie heart & sweaty pits.
Insta v reality. Birthday pic.
#Peppergate.
Blind.
On the loo.
Showing oof his 2023 range. ''All I want for Christmas'' - watch till the end.


Laptop - Mario purchased a £140 laptop this week and stated it was for IG and his work. What the hell. Tattle discussed why, as a cleaner, he required one for work.
Well, we believe Tattle has discovered why Mazzo wants the Curry 32GB crappy lappy.
Drumroll please, it's to make PowerPoint stories of his daily morning ritual of gutting the bedsit and for making paid #ADs for Febreze on Thursday and Friday.

Ads

06/10/22 - Joyofclean@AD, sniffing his #gifted Lenor Outdoorables like a loon.
25/05/22 - PR package of Elbow Grease products with a pink confetti cannon.
12/05/23 - Fairy ad. Fileemd a washing-up ad. Turn doon the water temp to save money, then proceeded to turn doon the tap.
19/05/23 - At it again.
21/06/23 - B&M ad. Then cleaning in his hoosecoat.
03/10/23 - Viakal ad.
08/10/23 - Tony Almond ad. Gifts worth £74.36.
12/10/23 - Joyofclean - showed off Hinch's re-released Eucalyptus range and didn't tag her.
10/11/23 - Joyofclean and HB ad for a prize draw to win a personalised WUL bottle.
27/11/23 - Joyofclean with HB and the bonus hashtag #stinksofchristmas.
09/12/23 - Joyofclean, Febreze plug-ins #funkyfirstimpressions.
03/03/24 - Febreze SOS, his hoose stinks and his ma is on her way around.
31/03/24 - Look Fantastic @ad with a code.
14/04/24 - Look Fantastic @ad with a code.
04/09/24 - Joyofclean @AD for Hinch’s new scent White Must and Golden Maple.

Gifted products.

Started swapping his 2018 OG sofa for a few gifted ones.
31/01/20 - Derek selling the black corner suite, getting a new set.

From Daniyell.
21/09/19 - A door knocker dressing table chair.
18/10/19 - A large mirror. £199.00.
Feb 2020 - Scatterback cushion sofa, £800.00. Giddy post.

Then.
20/07/20 - Coffee table - £499.00.
11/05/21 - A 3 seater sofa and a 2 seater ''Royale'' sofa. - £1199.00. Changed to hardback.
11/05/21 - Console table x 2 - £598.00.
11/05/21 - Side table - £289.00.

Then.
07/06/23 - A bespoke corner sofa called the ''Mario sofa''.
07/06/23 - A new coffee table - £289.00.

Gifted a previous bed - ''Daniella'' - £419.00, with a doorknocker chair.
Then.
10/04/22 - A bed called the ''Mario'' but it's really the ''Mia'' - £649.00.
Not sure if a new mattress was gifted as well, the price inc the mattress is from - £909 to £1339.00.
The bed has a gas lift - £125.00.

Then.
24/02/24 - Another scatterback cushion corner sofa ''Fantasia'' - £1599.00.

Then
14/10/24 - A small bedroom stool.

Others.
May 2020 - A small footstool from portabellouk.

Vacuum cleaners
A Shark Strasos cleaner on 09/11/2022 = £479.99.
A Hetty Quick on 30/06/2023 = £249.99. The Ad.

Odds and Sods
01/11/23 - Cat food dispenser from NatureTechDesignsCo - £38.95.

Body Shop make-up etc from another Instagram account Shelley.

Nigella Mcknight

- Stovie. Again this time with a whole French bread with lashings of Aldi butter spread substitute.
- Spag bol.
- Spag bol.
- Spag bol again but looks like stovies.
- Mince with swede & turnip. Confirmed he boils it.
- Braised sausage with veggies.
- Homemade Tomato & basil soup. Made with shedloads of stock cubes, garlic granules and a sprinkle of dried basil. Salt galore yum.
- Homemade pizza (a wrap) and chilli salted chips.
- Chicken and Chilli Chips.
- Snack dinner.
- Stated ''Ah no am no the best cook'' Bread, pasta and fries.
- He is bloody good at deep-fat frying eggs.
- Makes a Starbucks iced tea with frozen fresh raspberries.
- Airfyer extraordinaire. Fish & chips with veggies, sprinkled with loads of salt and pepper.
- Oct 23, bought a big slow cooker after throwing giving the other one away. Beef stew. spag bol and chilli but braised sausage is the best.
- Nov 23, bought a dual Ninja with a code from Hinch. His single one bought the year befare wasna used but was frequently used - na my quote.

Deek's attempt.
- Curry stir-fry.

Cooking isn't the family's strong point either.
- His sister’s Sunday dinner.

Dosna like

Chocolate - Hates chocolate but eats it at Easter or when there's a y in the day.
Cinnamon - Hates it but buys it in a plug-in.
As for Christmas selection boxes, ''It ruins us all at this time of year.'' Likes it on a cake though.
Northern Lights - In May 2024 when most of the UK were able to witness the NL's Mario posted he didna give a fook.
Disneyland - Why force yourself to go just for the children and spend loads of money.
Gym - Why go for 40hrs+, it's cruelty.
Mondays - Always moaning about getting up to go to work and having to be an adult.

What he dosna do

Links - From his reels. He's not that type of page, knows that others do this to drive to promote things but he's not that type of person, just DM him.
Links - Then posted a link from a reel.

Books

List of books he has and supposedly has read.

• Tap to Tidy - Solomon.
• You Do You - Greedy.
• Hinch Yourself Happy - Hinch.
• This Is Me - Hinch.
• The Activity Journal - Hinch.
• The Secret - Rhona Byrne.
• The Magic - Rhona Byrne.
• A Patchwork Life - Rachaele Hambleton.
• The Maid - Rita Prose.
• Verity - Coleen Hoover.

Covid

Covid 2022 - 25/06. Deek oot for the count with Covid. Nothing from the scrotum for a few days until 30/06 when he announced he'd caught it as well. Apparently, it's horrendous, what would it be like without the vacations vaccinations, he didn't know you could get this ill.
Then silence again until 02/7 when he re-posted his & the blister's unfiltered pic again, but he's still positive with bad skin and canna eat so aye. However, later on that day he was spotted oot in the supermarket with Deek.
03/07/22 - while still positive he went for a walk but couldn't make it so had a rest on the pavement.

Granny basher - 26/06/22. A Tattle poster said they were in HB shopping with their 84-year-old granny when Maz & Deek (who was supposedly ill with the Rona) rudely barged into them in the aisle. When confronted he waved his fake shitting exemption card at them but then hastily hot-footed it when explicitly told that his followers should duly know that Deek was oot & aboot.

Covid 2023 - Monday 04/09, he was back at work after his big birthday celebrations and his annual leave. Caught Derek's cold so he is no well the noo. That night moaned about it and the heat wave while in bed in his pjs and hairy legs on show.
No posts on Tues but he was liking others posts and commenting on SSS reel.
No show again on Wed but still liking posts.
Thursday He's got the Rona, it was so bad he was sobbing in the shower. then later on he was moaning about the heat and the Rona.
Friday. He'd not looked oot oaf the windy far 4 days, moaning while on the concrete block sofa under a blanket. Deek was getting frustrated with him, he was so emotional and still positive.
Saturday, Still moaning under his blanket, posting pics of Deek, but he will go oot to get some fresh air. Went to the park and got an icecream.

Exempt - During Covid 19 restrictions mask-wearing is recommended in shops & on public transport. Mario was seen wearing a mask & on New Year’s eve, but lately, numerous people have seen Mario & Derek not wearing any, they have also been seen wearing a sunflower lanyard that makes them exempt. During a trip to have his eyebrows done no mask was worn, he was indeed exempt according to the salon. On his IG Mario has not expressed an opinion or reason as to why he is exempt, so we believe he is lying, however, a lanyard is seen on 05/03/2022 and it’s an IBS card. (Shart card in Mario’s case— see aforementioned terrible diet).

G-dsend - Claimed Covid was a g-dsend as it allowed him to become debt-free. videos.

Ditty

A wee shitty ditty for those who don't know the fable of the blind nikita dug from @Kaydeelaydee

Melvin had a little walk
Went looking for a rug
And as he got quite far from home
He saw a great big dug
It came towards him at great speed
And Melvin damn near lost his heid
He turned and ran like Forrest Gump
Burst through a fence to hide
The neighbours saw this stupid chump
And laughed from the inside
They asked Melvin- Ho, whit's up?
Then really didn't mind
They telt oor Melvin just calm doon
The fucking dug is blind

Back to his threads

Back to his threads.