Cleaning with Mario #105 Jizz on his face, he’s a big disgrace, waving his snail snot all over the place

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A don’t know about you lassies but a Cannae wait tae see wit the Autumn King/Mr Crissmas has planned this year - nice walks? Christmas markets? Drinks with friends? A trip to New York?
Why go to New York when his broom cupboard is just a boujee. Don't you remember Postman Pat saying he thought he was face to face with Rockefeller?
 
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Why go to New York when his broom cupboard is just a boujee. Don't you remember Postman Pat saying he thought he was face to face with Rockefeller?
Postman Pat must have inhaled some of the fumes from Derek's waccy backy!!
 
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Oh my god ma hens I've just seen I'm a VIP noo! I cannae believe it I work so hard at this app joab that's no ma joab. I'd like tae thank Mrs mario for popping out a lump 40 year ago and keeping it even though it's a freak of nature. Wouldnae be here without her. Tonsa love ma hens M 💎❤x
 
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Wee Deek pays for everything ma lovelie #pettycash
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Ah just heard aboot it, like an urban myth but am assured by the trolls it's a Christmas miracle. He thought he couldn't go in till his time and instead of going in at his time he thought they'd come oot tae the car park tae escort him in since they aw ken the Paisley influencer. They didnae and a while later they went in and their table was given away. That's my Chinese whispers take and if anyone says ahm rang they're blocked and reported, ma DMs ur turned aff!!!! Tonsa luv M 🥔♥ x
Thank you fur spining bright apon me, ma lovelie. 💎 🥔
 
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Imagine announcing to your followers you’re going to have the shits tomorrow 🤦🏻‍♀️
Looking forward to Hay Saturaday. Sharting Martin doing his bleep washings cos he's shat the bed, Rayn gassed by the stench, Deek sitting there oblivious stoned to duck
 
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Saw Hinch's latest post, and she gushed over this 'fashion model's' post on it...Move over, Mario, your post got nothing from her 🤣

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Lying again, Mario. I've just replied to a DM so mine are working ok 🙄
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It pisses me off he wasted all that money trying to look good with the panelling and couldn’t stretch to an extra tenner for a chrome socket
Doesn't Ava whats her name do plug ins? He's pathetic. They must be sky bloody high from the funes of his arse, cat piss, plug ins and wacky backy.
 
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Yuck announcing to whole Instagram your going have the 💩. If he changes the bed tomorrow he's definitely shat himself in the night.
Talking of that anyone mind he made Deed Deek bring him a cuppa and hot water bottle to bed at like 4am or some nonsense.

I don't believe he has any form of IBS never seen any healthy food, fruits, veg (tins don't count), gluten free so forth in he's asda bags. Just an awful diet. Doesn't take any medication so clearly a self diagnosis.
 
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Yuck announcing to whole Instagram your going have the 💩. If he changes the bed tomorrow he's definitely shat himself in the night.
Talking of that anyone mind he made Deed Deek bring him a cuppa and hot water bottle to bed at like 4am or some nonsense.

I don't believe he has any form of IBS never seen any healthy food, fruits, veg (tins don't count), gluten free so forth in he's asda bags. Just an awful diet. Doesn't take any medication so clearly a self diagnosis.
Oh it’s 100% self inflicted. I’m usually pretty regular but if I have a weekend of eating tit, all hell breaks loose! Now imagine you survive on eating nothing but tit and only the occasional veg (for the gram. I wonder if he actually even eats it). Your insides are going to be ruined!
 
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