It’s not a tip, it’s protection money to stop his letterbox getting smashed in again
The electric ones are stuck in their mouths, the normal ones might be stuck somewhere else
Cleaning With Mario #27 The Baldie Just Doesn’t Care It’s obvious You Ripped Your Own Flair
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To be fair, my ex-husband, who is Scottish too, would eat all the mince pies straight out the foil. I used to have to hide them until Christmas Day or he’d have the lot & the kids & I would have to go withoutIs that a Christmas mince pie?? Or a cake as bawbag calls itI'm sure you're supposed to take out the foil, warm up, have some lovely cream with it? You don't just eat it oot the box, come on now scummy Mazda surely you're bespoke and boujjjjeeee enough to know? I'll get back in my ain wee posh lane noo, so aye.
It’s a bleeping speech therapist he needs
Holy god such shite, tipping the postie, chatting pure BS sorry IBS and bleep can’t even do a food shop alone
Should be in the sister’s home as a resident!Ok ma lovelies I’m saying nae mere, that’s it, back in my ain lane, so aye, mwah mwah
Didn't he nearly get mown down by a vehicle mounting the pavement? I seem to remember it. In another episode of things that never really happened.
Excuse me ma lovelie, don’t tar aw us Scots wae the same brush. Karmer oan your arse!!
How many times has this bleep been READY FOR XMAS?
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I can’t get over the way he holds the butter. So strange!
Marziopan has been ready for Christmas since September aye and has been cleaning his little arse off for Father Christmas to wake up crimbo morning then hop into the living room with a little spring in his step so excited to open his ava May wax melts to seee wee Dez kissing Santa Clause!
Then I saw Dereeeek tickle Santa Claus (tickle, tickle Santa Claus)
Underneath his beard so snowy white
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Rayn had only seen
Dezzz kissing Santa Claus last night !!
Rayn
highlight stories have me cackling
Strech only time ya appy is when the bloody heatins do nat do that to the kerpet ah ah no fuckin do ma nut in wi that noow an and so faorthh Rayn don’t you bleeping dare claw ma carpet !! Da ma nut in wi tha neow
Then I saw Dereeeek tickle Santa Claus (tickle, tickle Santa Claus)
Underneath his beard so snowy white
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Rayn had only seen
Dezzz kissing Santa Claus last night !!
Rayn
highlight stories have me cackling Strech only time ya appy is when the bloody heatins do nat do that to the kerpet ah ah no fuckin do ma nut in wi that noow an and so faorthh Rayn don’t you bleeping dare claw ma carpet !! Da ma nut in wi tha neow
Awe ma lovelie. You’re obviously no boujie enough to recognise that they are bespoke “tadaa” hands. Much more superior than just yer run of the mill jazz hands. Mwah mwah
Tadaaaaaaa bougie bespoke ‘look at the shite I have bought’ handsAwe ma lovelie. You’re obviously no boujie enough to recognise that they are bespoke “tadaa” hands. Much more superior than just yer run of the mill jazz hands. Mwah mwah
Edit - this post is really boring as the gifs don’t work
Karmar on my arse.Attachments
Genuine question here... is Monzo being paid to advertise that wax melt advent calendar? Because he’s doing a tit job if so.
All I’ve been able to ascertain from his daily pictures is that it’s the colour “blue and white” and it’s in the scent “Smaller cardboard boxes inside a bigger cardboard box”. Other than that, what’s actually inside it is a bigger mystery than the cupboard in the hallway and what the duck Derek sees in him
Bawbag.
All I’ve been able to ascertain from his daily pictures is that it’s the colour “blue and white” and it’s in the scent “Smaller cardboard boxes inside a bigger cardboard box”. Other than that, what’s actually inside it is a bigger mystery than the cupboard in the hallway and what the duck Derek sees in him
Bawbag.
I hate it when he has a one dot stovie, I miss holding the screen to see what utter shite he’s spouting, then have to tappity tap a thousand bleeping dots to see that one at the end again 
Like he is feeding a pony ...something he has never done before so aye
You mean jizz hands?Awe ma lovelie. You’re obviously no boujie enough to recognise that they are bespoke “tadaa” hands. Much more superior than just yer run of the mill jazz hands. Mwah mwah
The butter in shape butt plug 
"Have you been effected with Christmas?"
Bawbag
Bawbag
Probably block the stench coming from his toxic mouth and ass due to his ibs falling through the flairboards ma lovlies
Omg that beak I can't with him
Is that a wee festive butt plug??
I'm Scottish, I don't think it's a Scottish thing to eat them out the foil, me personally I think the flavours are released when you warm them up and have with cream, but to be honest I'd rather not have them because they're stodgy and I'd rather have triffle because I'm a fatty
He isn’t paid to advertise it but as a brand rep he did receive it for free. Hope that helps ma luvlee mwah mwah
I'm Scottish, I don't think it's a Scottish thing to eat them out the foil, me personally I think the flavours are released when you warm them up and have with cream, but to be honest I'd rather not have them because they're stodgy and I'd rather have triffle because I'm a fatty
same, they’re fine but I’d rather use that space in my stomach for something better, trifle, pavlova, after eights, matchmakers, lindt, roses, quality street, and wash it all down with a bowl of white chocolate and raspberry hot chocolate with a fuhl can a skooshy cream and marshmallows which have gone hard cause I’ve covered them in ma favourite fabyooolooosa, in the scent toxic poisoning, while I’ve been 
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