sorenips
Well-known member
They're called the Montgomery glands (username and ridiculous amount of breast knowledge checking in)
- Notice
sorenips
Well-known member
Holy fuck
She's right though. And if Helen was a cake, it would be a cake that tasted of salt and had cat hair in it.
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
VIDEO SUMMARY:
Vlogmas Day 3 - The First Gift Guide
Vlogmas Day 3 - The First Gift Guide
"welcome to vlogmas number........ Three!" Helga is struggling to remember which number we're up to already. Oh dear.
This morning she was going to get up and do some editing but her sister was in town so fuck work - they're out and about today!
A quick run down of what she's done today:
Got up
Had advent calendar
Went for a run "that was pretty fresh"
Did a tiny bit of editing "15 minutes worth"
And now she came into town!
Sulks that they cant really do much (because of old 'rona innit) but they've got a takeaway coffee and a pastry, now they're sitting around having a good old catch up while the dogs lick whatever this shit is on the floor
it's been "mumphs" since she's last seen her sister. I don't believe that - this is Helen we're talking about.
She has great social distancing skillz and loves passing that dog lead around to everyone she sees doesn't she?
She plans to finish up and walk around town a bit more.
Back home now and she's got an ASOS parcel on her door step. She's doing that thing where she's set up the camera to watch her walk in the front door... but really she's got to go back out to get the sodding camera. But this is her being 'creative' - and it's well quirky.
Back home and she's still going on about her sister asking her out for a coffee 'last minute' but not really last minute - it was almost like a spur of the moment thing.... so last minute then, yeah?
She re-got ready at home because she had to rush getting ready earlier. And we all know how she loooves getting a full face of slap on for a full day of fuck all.
On the way home she went to Marks and Spencer (of course she did) and she reaaaaaaally fancied THIS..... THIS!!! THIS!!!! .....wait what the fuck is it? nothing is in focus... oh it's an xmas themed sausage roll.
(If only she looked at Fil the way she does food...)
Cut to her eating it now... content.... oh she says she dropped it on the floor, but it's ok because of the three second rule "and it's my house" so we all know what great hygiene old piss fingers has...
(content)
Now we're off upstairs for something "very very exciting!!!", and we can't go up the stairs without setting the camera up to get a full arse shot on the way up!
"IT'S GIFT GUYYYYYYED TIME!!!!"
Oh and she's now saying she's exhausted from going up the stairs.
In her dressing room now..... because her moving all her work into her office clearly worked out for her... She says she know it's not the most festive place to do it but she cant be arsed to carry everything downstairs and then back upstairs again once she's finished filming, so fuck festive vibez - we have to put up with her palm tree wallpaper and drawers as a background, because Vlogmas this year is alllll about the bare minimum
"as much as I love my job, and I love you, and I'm dedicated to the cause. I just don't need that much cardio. Today I've already been for a run and run up the stairs. ALSO! I don't sometimes know what time Fil gets home from work, and like yesterday he surprised me and I don't want 'im comin' 'ome mid filmin' seein' all da guds on da floor...."
What the fuck is this speech... it's your house. Just text him you're filming, dipshit.
She says she's getting her gift guide shit done early because people are eager to buy xmas pressies early.... this is early for her?? I've seen better gift guides in mid November... now that's early! She did her xmas shopping back in October cos she's well keen and she was well bored, and she wasn't going to make the same mistake as last year by leaving it to the last minute.
We've got a mixture of shit that she's bought and some shit that she's been sent. She really really wants to help push and promote small businesses, but she's not going to solely look at gifts from there we have some high street shit mixed in too.
Her camera keeps going in and out of focus. Perhaps if she stopped fucking swaying around like a drunken monkey..........Oh and she edited in a burp. Nice.
Dogs bark - that means Fil has entered the building. Causing her to go wide eyed and have a mini freak out "he's fuckin' 'ome! I new dis wud 'appen"
And now she's singing hello to him.... and rolling her eyes around.... what is this fucking content....? She seems like she's actually been drinking...
"HOWS LIFE?" she yells, whilst messing up her hair....
Bald patch is revealed
And now we're witnessing the most incredibly boring conversation between her and Fil... she's asking if something is for her? "It looks pretty small to be a PRADA BAG!!!!" she shouts
Back to business now....
First small business she's promoting is..... oh... wait.... it's Truffle Shuffle, her regular gifter.
She got a bunch of Friends themed shit cos she loooooves Friends. (I swear she doesn't, lol)
Socks is what she's chosen. She picks up some red socks.... and gets confused... they're just red socks.....
Next on the "I've wanted this for ages but it's ALWAYS been sold out" list is..... The Never Ending Story Gnomes for plant pots. She loves the film so much she can't remember the characters names "that 'eart brakin' bit when 'is 'orse fell in ta da swamp" Basically you put them in your plant pot and it looks like they're drowning. "it's pretty morbid... BUT IT'S COOOOOOL!!!"
Next is play that tune game for her nieces. And her big big sister gets a friends puzzle. Hayley gets a labyrinth tshirt. Hayley's boyfriend gets a Star Wars tshirt.
Next is a shop she discovered through instagram ads... Sculpd - a diy clay pottery kit, a pastel paint kit and a candle making kit.
Next is Not on The High Street - a toasting marshmallow kit.
Punchy drinks is next, (gifted?) she got a case of mixers
Wolf and Badger is next, she got a set of rock n roll oven gloves for Ellie "it's a lol gift"
Gin Christmas crackers is next because she wanted something a bit more "specialer"
She's not even stating which ones are gifted.... but Bare Minerals gift sets are next and she's gushing over the products and has decided she's going to keep these for herself.
Body Shop next.... again another (undeclared) gifted.
She leans over to the side to let out a long, loud, wet sounding fart.... "OH MY GOD DID YOU HEAR THAT?" she yells to Fil "THAT WAS MY BUM!!!"
Now she's asking Fil if he heard that and all we can hear is mumbling from the other room.
Back to the guide.... she wants shit that she wouldnt usually buy herself like an expensive candle she she really want's but shouldn't get herself
Reveals her mum is a massive Mrs Hinch fan.
She advertises a Β£15 car air freshener because she thinks they make brilliant stocking fillers "it's such a treat!"
She doesn't have any more shopping to do, but she will still advertise shite on her Instagram.
She's going to do a shout out a small list of indie brands that she's been suggested on Instagram.
That's it for the gift guide. She's downstairs and Fil must be filming because the camera is shakey as fuck. Dinner has been eaten - chilli and chips because she wanted some comfort food.
She's got gifted a bunch of shit which she's unboxing now and fuck me, Fil, stop shaking the camera. Oh and the lights are flickering away... wait didn't she say in vlogmas day #1 she HATES flickering lights??
She was sooo overwhelmed with her gifted shite. Im soooo not interested now. Especially since she can't pronounce the product's name "kellen-burger-need-a-lee-gan-dee"
Her and Fil don't know what a plant atomizer is called.
And that was vlogmas number three "i'm losing count already"
That's all.
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Cookieantoinette
Active member
Also why did her hairdresser not call and reschedule, he knows she's travelling all the way from Norwich.
They can hardly put up posts of her hair knowing that people are aware she must have travelled from Norwich.
And it's not just going to be "drive straight to the salon and back" - there'll be a McDonald's for breakfast, Starbucks when she gets there, another Starbucks on the way back and an M&S salad from a service station as with every other trip.
They can hardly put up posts of her hair knowing that people are aware she must have travelled from Norwich.
And it's not just going to be "drive straight to the salon and back" - there'll be a McDonald's for breakfast, Starbucks when she gets there, another Starbucks on the way back and an M&S salad from a service station as with every other trip.
Fucking HOLD. ME. BACK.
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
WELCOME TO THREAD
#9:
HAD A THREESOME, KIND OF...
Big thank you to @TaylorSlattery for the title suggestion!
(49 votes)
(Shout out to the runner up suggestion from @Shesaidwhat? With 45 votes, the classic line from @SHEEP βOh God Helen, go do some decorating or something!β in response to the Helga troll)
PREVIOUS THREAD: HERE
Trying to make the previous thread summaries a lot shorter so it's more readable - if I've missed anything out please add it!
Soooo....let's have a recap and get right to the good stuff!
#9: HAD A THREESOME, KIND OF...
Big thank you to @TaylorSlattery for the title suggestion!
(49 votes) (Shout out to the runner up suggestion from @Shesaidwhat? With 45 votes, the classic line from @SHEEP βOh God Helen, go do some decorating or something!β in response to the Helga troll)
PREVIOUS THREAD: HERE
Trying to make the previous thread summaries a lot shorter so it's more readable - if I've missed anything out please add it!
Soooo....let's have a recap and get right to the good stuff!
β· Continued discussion on the 10 Ways to Boost Your Confidence PERMANENTLY video:
- βBe naked around your friendsβ advice was the silliest advice we've ever heard
- Plenty of people do not want to see their friends naked, it's got nothing to do with confidence and can be problematic.
- Her βNo one cares about the thing you're insecure about, so you shouldn't care eitherβ advice was just as shit and untrue - it doesn't deal with the insecurity just ignores it, which doesn't work
- She doesn't know the difference between positive or negative attention and doesn't have any self awareness of how and when to be appropriate (eg: 'Alternative Wedding Guest Outfit Ideas' and 'Alternative Office and Work Wear Ideas' videos)
β· Spotting Quirkerz in the wild:
- At Download she was seen barging past people and whining that she had to queue for food
- Also at Download she was heard her bitching about the toilets being muddy and not cleaned every hour (from it being super fucking muddy) and she was going to put in a complaint about it. She was also rude and inconsiderate to everyone around her
- Another commented when they saw her in the wild she sounded like an absolute bloody foghorn
β· Still tries to claim that her brand is alternative and unique fashion:
- These days she's more mainstream than ever, gets almost all her clothes from ASOS and her band tees from Topshop
- Her style these days is Granny Vibez since she has the coat and the trousers of an 80 year old (complete with forgetting to zip the fly up)
β· Looks miserable in her 10 Year Instagram Style Evolution video:
- Thinks that wearing a black skeleton hand top is her dressing as βmetalβ
- Thinks that a necklace makes her βglam rockβ
- Thinks that white shirts are βrock and rollβ
- Thinks that she was a βpastel goffβ because she wore pink kitsch earrings
- Thinks that a leopard print cardigan makes her rockabilly
- Also pronounced words incorrectly: βlevverβ, βmiddriftβ and βbohemiumβ
- Edgelord Helga thinks she's the first person who brought back βfurβ coats
β· More midsize lies:
- 5ft 2β Helga claims that she is a 30 waist / 32 leg in jeans β (UK size 12) which is bollocks (Some reckon that she's either a big fat liar, or that she's mixed up her numbers because she's stupid)
- Also remembering that she has been claiming the same size 14 lie for 7 years and is clearly not the same size
β· It's not hard to stay at home, unless you're Quirkerz:
- Previously ranted about how she follows lock down rules and it's not hard to stay indoors
- Lock down 2 starts, she's off out nearly every single day, doing non essential shopping trips and meeting multiple friends
- In her βShort n sweet & potentially pointlessβ vlog she complains about lock down being so tough on her and how she hasn't been able to see her friends or family.... despite meeting multiple friends just 5 days before
- Constantly complains about not being able to live normally, forgets that she's had multiple holidays, trips out etc, whilst a lot of other people have still been in lock down
β· Uses mental health as a way to promote her band:
- Posted an IG story and Tattle was happy that she spoke about mental health but she used a ridiculous face filter and then used MH as an opportunity to advertise her band, telling people to go listen to her new song
- In her Virtual Pie Night, Hinching & Anxiety vlog's description she describes the vlog as a recipe with a βpinch of anxiety thrown inβ
β· Makes ears bleed:
- From her Virtual Pie Night, Hinching & Anxiety Vlog she edits in a clip of her singing so loud that she most likely burst a few viewer's ear drums: LINK (WARNING: IT'S LOUD)
- She's got her own song constantly playing on repeat (or is it Fildo listening to it over and over because he loooooove the song soooo much)
β· Mocks career changes if you're in your 30s:
- Makes a comment about Fildo studying 'sports something' (she doesn't actually know) at university, but now he works in plumbing and heating βha ha ha! Career change at 30!β she laughs, as if its a bad thing
β· Asks for questions she's been avoiding... but still avoids them:
- Asks people to ask her scandalous questions she's been avoiding - gets asked about her divorce - then posts a strop that she doesn't want to answer those questions and changes her video idea to βhave I everβ questions
- Since she's still avoiding all things Maff, we take a trip down memory lane and discuss all things wedding and marriage related (starting post here)
β· Overshares all the wrong things:
- In her βHave You Ever?β video, she click baits people with the title β(I can't believe I'm being this honest!) - answers half the questions with a yes or no answer
- Kink shames by warning viewers that she was talking about βdisgusting thingsβ like threesomes
- We learned that Helen has pissed and shat herself multiple times, oh and she farts a lot.... yes these are the types of questions her audience thought about her
- She ate a whole birthday cake to herself in one go and when she complained about feeling ill, her mate told her to go eat a bit of fruit
- Has βkind of, not reallyβ had a threesome and couldn't remember who she shagged in a car (we think she lies) β yet could recall edetails of her shitting, pissing and sharting herself
- She tells people that she βworks in TVβ or βworks in fashionβ but doesn't consider it as lying.
- Still blames the βYouTube algorithmβ for her shitty views and loss in subscribers rather than her shitty, dull content (she had another 1k loss in subs this month)
- Pronounced the name Juanita as βJew Anitaβ
β· Still complains about being alone, despite not actually being alone:
- Complains about being weird around the multiple handy men in her house because she's alone ALL THE TIME (she's not, Fildo's just gone to work)
- Complains about how HARD it is to film ALONE (It's not, many other influencers manage it)
β· Still in denial about the state of her hair:
- Posts a story saying she βlooks likeβ her hairline is receding, without actually realising that IT IS
β· Was such a 'rebel' at school:
- Bragged that she went to school drunk on beer
- Told her audience that no one cares about GCSEs or A Levels after school
β· Her friend is a dick:
- Kat Fucking Williams from Rock and Roll Bride / Confetti Girls has set up her own confidence club, where she's βTREATINGβ people (for the low, low price of Β£75) to learn the ancient art of βfuck what everyone else thinksβ
- Oh and you get pictures of Kat's face thrown too!
β· Does another quirky skit where she flashes her tit:
- Does a skit where she woke up late so had to sneak around the house, despite being home alone, whips her towel off and flashes her tit before the jump cut
β· Promotes a questionable company, because freebies:
- Gets gifted over Β£600 worth in jewellery from Thomas Sabo, but the company seems to have a bad reputation on Trust Pilot for being over priced, poor quality goods with terrible customer service who never refunds or replaces faulty items
Previous thread picture highlights:
Attachments
luckyblue
VIP Member
The comments on the apology are so infuriating I wish I hadnβt read any. Maybe Iβm alone in this, I donβt find the rules confusing at all. Iβm not a fan of the current government, I donβt think theyβre handling this perfectly, but Iβm sick of seeing posts everywhere paraphrasing the rules and making them confusing. If you actually read the restrictions on the gov.uk website, theyβre very clear. Several reputable news websites also have lists of scenarios that arenβt and are allowed.
Again, simply realising that the higher the tier, the higher the rates are, should be enough to have you avoiding the area for your own benefit at the very least.
Again, simply realising that the higher the tier, the higher the rates are, should be enough to have you avoiding the area for your own benefit at the very least.
petuniaplod
Member
i'm in an awful mood so please excuse me, but seeing that sainsburys hamper she got gifted, knowing how much food is stuffed in her cupboards and fridge, knowing how many families are struggling this year honestly breaks my heart and F*CKS ME OFF beyond belief. sainsburys i will no longer be shopping with you, absolute shame on you
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
Looks like her mouth is a potato
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Vikingvicky
Member
Helen's wreath
My wreath
I kinda feel like it perfectly encapsulates Helen's need to go OTT with everything, everything absolutely everywhere, just crammed wherever she thinks it "fits" (like her house decor) and the fact that she hasn't made an effort to give it a decent shape (like she does when dressing for her body type)
Compared to mine, trying not to toot my own horn too much - looks like a decent well-put together wreath. First attempt too
Not saying Helen's isn't a nice wreath.. it just doesn't look like she's put much thought into it and just rushed it. I just think if you're spending all of that money, and you have the opportunity to take your time with it.. why not?
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
Gonna be fun when she moans about how she's soooo fed up with how long the pandemic is going on for, whilst being a huge fucking contributing factor of why it's going on for so long.
"In the grand scheme of things, it's not that difficult to stay home" - Helen 'I-went-into-tier-3-London-to-get-my-ratty-hair-extensions-taken-out' Anderson
"In the grand scheme of things, it's not that difficult to stay home" - Helen 'I-went-into-tier-3-London-to-get-my-ratty-hair-extensions-taken-out' Anderson
rivers
Well-known member
It might be tier 3/self isolation jealousy but I can't believe Helen is so blatantly flouting the rules with pub lunches with her mates and going to see her family (I doubt they did that outside in December). This combined with trips to town on Saturday when she works from home and can go any day, whilst her partner is working in a manual job that puts him around other people every day. She really has no reason to leave the house unless she's doing a food shop - could doesn't mean should.
Small (personal but related) rant: Multiple family members and possibly myself (waiting for results) currently have covid and are isolating after attending the funeral of a loved one who passed away from the virus (in hospital, at a distance). Beyond planning the funeral, helping out my grandmother, and going to the supermarket once, we did not leave the house. Yet influencers are still on social media flaunting their lax attitude towards both the rules and just general decency (eg. you work from home yet the only day you can go to town is Saturday?). If Helen created an informal bubble with her family then I wouldn't be too mad, it would be a rule break but that wouldn't bother me if they were only seeing each other and otherwise staying home, but this consistent lack of responsibility is fucking disgusting and it makes me so mad to see comments like 'oh we can do that then? i'll be going out for a meal with my friends!' solely because of her refusal to see anything beyond the 'Anderz' show. It's not an exclusively Helen issue but god, is it in fucking character to see her act like the rules don't apply to her.
I will probably delete this because it is a bit of a personal rant but I'm just furious the more I think about it and wanted to express my anger in a like-minded place.
Small (personal but related) rant: Multiple family members and possibly myself (waiting for results) currently have covid and are isolating after attending the funeral of a loved one who passed away from the virus (in hospital, at a distance). Beyond planning the funeral, helping out my grandmother, and going to the supermarket once, we did not leave the house. Yet influencers are still on social media flaunting their lax attitude towards both the rules and just general decency (eg. you work from home yet the only day you can go to town is Saturday?). If Helen created an informal bubble with her family then I wouldn't be too mad, it would be a rule break but that wouldn't bother me if they were only seeing each other and otherwise staying home, but this consistent lack of responsibility is fucking disgusting and it makes me so mad to see comments like 'oh we can do that then? i'll be going out for a meal with my friends!' solely because of her refusal to see anything beyond the 'Anderz' show. It's not an exclusively Helen issue but god, is it in fucking character to see her act like the rules don't apply to her.
I will probably delete this because it is a bit of a personal rant but I'm just furious the more I think about it and wanted to express my anger in a like-minded place.
Iwantyoutoknow22
Chatty Member
Her new Blue Christmas make up look on Instagram instantly made me think of this...
Attachments
Honestly don't understand what people are enjoying about this shit? I swear there is what felt like 5 minutes (probably 30 seconds) of footage of a fucking door. Ooh I'm definitely feeling festive after that bullshit 
Someone has commented saying Vlogmas is keeping them going and all I can think is "what a sad little life Jane".
Someone has commented saying Vlogmas is keeping them going and all I can think is "what a sad little life Jane".
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Lunamoon22
VIP Member
VIDEO SUMMARY:
Vlogmas Day 5 - Virtual Wreath Making with my Pals
Vlogmas Day 5 - Virtual Wreath Making with my Pals
Today she was meant to be making a wreath with all her friends, her mum and her sister - like she has been doing the previous 3 years in a row, but "due to the guidelines.... due to EVERYTHING.... due to the ONE THING that's stopping US from doing the things that we want to do NORMALLY...." She sarcastically smiles and sighs, "We're doing it virtually"
So Floral Sisters gave them three options, the company can make the wreaths and post them out, they can cancel and refund, or they can post out a DIY box so you can do it yourself.
Helen sets up and gets online. "LOOK EVERYONE! I GOT MYSELF A NICE MINCE PIE FROM TESCO! FROM THE BAKERY!" No one gives a shit Helga.
Cue Helen squealing loudly about every item in the box "THERE'S SO MANY BITS IN HERE!!!"
Helga is taking the lead here and is teaching everyone how to make a wreath. Because Helga is the queen of DIY and is an *actual teacher.
*not really
She now compares the wreaths she made the other day, the other one wasn't good as it didn't have enough moss on it. This one is thick. Just like Helen.
She starts sweeping off the excess moss off the table and straight onto the floor - either to be eaten by the dogs, or maybe it's part of Helga's plan to get everything disgustingly dirty to the point where she hates herself and has to do a giant tidy up to feel better. Who the fuck knows.
Danni isn't here for the wreath making, she's barged her way in to the session and is baking all sorts of shite. She's asking Ellie about which side of the cheese grater to use to zest an orange. "Wot bit of da grata dew ya yoooze?"
"Tha small grata" Ellie replies, this is riveting content.
Back to Helga and the wreath, she's well happy they have pre-bunched parts as it's making it well easier, mate.
"OH LOOK! LOOK! I NEARLY DONE IT!" Says Helen, holding it up to everyone like a 3 year old desperately trying to show their uninterested parent their shitty art work.
"WOW" Helen is impressed with herself.
Ellie's beaten her to it and gets a wow from everyone.
Helen's whiffing the dried oranges and secures them on while yelling "UH!!!! YESSSSS!!! I JUST LOVE ITTTTTT!!!!"
Hayley is having a shit time, she's worried all her twigs are going to fall off.
"I'VE DUN IT!!!!!! .......I FINK!.......... LOOK EVERYONE!!!!!" Yells Helen
"Ooooh that is well goff! I love it." coos Ellie.... clearly not knowing what 'goff' is.
"Where's everyone disappeared to?" says SAVAGE, as only her, Danni and Ellie remain
Cut to the front door.
"This is ma Autumn REEF, that I lurf, I'm gunna keep.... probably gunna put it in da loft or in da garage, just hang it up sumwhere to stay dry
Fuck me, that dress looks awful on her, that gunt makes her looks preggers.
"There we goooo" she says, while closing.... then reopening the door....
"HELLOOOOO" she creepily says, with her eyes super wide and cheeks all flushed...
She's probably been sucking on that mulled wine again.
Back to the computer and she's taken a picture of her front door to show the gang. Oh and now she's taken the computer to the front door to see it in real time....
Hayley's had enough, she probably really fucking bored now as she's saying she has to go cos she's gotta hoover
And that's it. Super exciting. Much fun.
She didn't give a shit about being rude when it came to that hair dye company (can't remember the name).
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
"I just want to apologise..."
....By deleting comments???
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
Wait, there's more:
And my favourite:
And my favourite:
I genuinely think your summaries are more interesting than Helen's videos.VIDEO SUMMARY:
Vlogmas Day 5 - Virtual Wreath Making with my Pals
Today she was meant to be making a wreath with all her friends, her mum and her sister - like she has been doing the previous 3 years in a row, but "due to the guidelines.... due to EVERYTHING.... due to the ONE THING that's stopping US from doing the things that we want to do NORMALLY...." She sarcastically smiles and sighs, "We're doing it virtually"
So Floral Sisters gave them three options, the company can make the wreaths and post them out, they can cancel and refund, or they can post out a DIY box so you can do it yourself.
Helen sets up and gets online. "LOOK EVERYONE! I GOT MYSELF A NICE MINCE PIE FROM TESCO! FROM THE BAKERY!" No one gives a shit Helga.
Cue Helen squealing loudly about every item in the box "THERE'S SO MANY BITS IN HERE!!!"
Helga is taking the lead here and is teaching everyone how to make a wreath. Because Helga is the queen of DIY and is an *actual teacher.
*not really
She now compares the wreaths she made the other day, the other one wasn't good as it didn't have enough moss on it. This one is thick. Just like Helen.
She starts sweeping off the excess moss off the table and straight onto the floor - either to be eaten by the dogs, or maybe it's part of Helga's plan to get everything disgustingly dirty to the point where she hates herself and has to do a giant tidy up to feel better. Who the fuck knows.
Danni isn't here for the wreath making, she's barged her way in to the session and is baking all sorts of shite. She's asking Ellie about which side of the cheese grater to use to zest an orange. "Wot bit of da grata dew ya yoooze?"
"Tha small grata" Ellie replies, this is riveting content.
Back to Helga and the wreath, she's well happy they have pre-bunched parts as it's making it well easier, mate.
"OH LOOK! LOOK! I NEARLY DONE IT!" Says Helen, holding it up to everyone like a 3 year old desperately trying to show their uninterested parent their shitty art work.
"WOW" Helen is impressed with herself.
Ellie's beaten her to it and gets a wow from everyone.
Helen's whiffing the dried oranges and secures them on while yelling "UH!!!! YESSSSS!!! I JUST LOVE ITTTTTT!!!!"
Hayley is having a shit time, she's worried all her twigs are going to fall off.
"I'VE DUN IT!!!!!! .......I FINK!.......... LOOK EVERYONE!!!!!" Yells Helen
"Ooooh that is well goff! I love it." coos Ellie.... clearly not knowing what 'goff' is.
"Where's everyone disappeared to?" says SAVAGE, as only her, Danni and Ellie remain
Cut to the front door.
"This is ma Autumn REEF, that I lurf, I'm gunna keep.... probably gunna put it in da loft or in da garage, just hang it up sumwhere to stay dry
Fuck me, that dress looks awful on her, that gunt makes her looks preggers.
View attachment 338315
"There we goooo" she says, while closing.... then reopening the door....
"HELLOOOOO" she creepily says, with her eyes super wide and cheeks all flushed...
View attachment 338317
She's probably been sucking on that mulled wine again.
Back to the computer and she's taken a picture of her front door to show the gang. Oh and now she's taken the computer to the front door to see it in real time....
Hayley's had enough, she probably really fucking bored now as she's saying she has to go cos she's gotta hoover
And that's it. Super exciting. Much fun.