- Notice
So TW: calories here, please skip by if you're upset/trigger by calorie/diet talk.
Just added this all up, an being generous assuming she did a reasonable amount of butter on her toast, she's got no sugar in her teas and coffees, she did a 10g portion of perrinaise and she made the Gusto stew to be 1 portion as per their website, she was at 2123 calories for the day. Which would sound average, but she's a 5'3 woman who's pretty inactive (I don't care how much bootcamp she claims to do).
I'm a 5'2 woman and my TDEE is 1600. So that means Helen's probably around 1700-1800 calories TDEE. So if this is an average day she's already 300-400 calories above what she needs. 3500 calories = 1lb of fat. So if she eats like this every day, that means 2.5lbs gain every month. And we all know she normally drinks a hell of a lot more. And she loves a mini Magnum and a B&J tub. So this probably isn't an accurate representation of her diet.
I'm not trying to say food = bad, but I'm just trying to convey how even her "normal" eating is still too much for her without solid exercise. Her advent calendars, kit kat and celebrations were 400 calories alone.
EDIT: I feel bad and don't want others to think I'm judging unnecessarily so I just want to emphasise the only reason I care about this is because I'm a 5'2" 12-14 size woman, and watching Helen claim to be the same size as me gives me serious dysmorphia. I have a history of ED (in therapy, my therapist has said I'm ready to look a calories etc - please don't Dr. me) and it's still silly things like this that make me think, "Oh god, I must be so huge - if she's the same size as me I must really be bigger than her." I think that's important. Even people without history of ED still look to other woman to size themselves up - subconsciously or consciously - and constantly lying about your size is really harmful to your audience.
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LilianG
Member
This is exactly what I thought. The fact that Sainsbury's (and most other supermarkets) expect average customers to buy extra in their stores to donate to food banks whilst giving away hampers to spoilt, entitled brats like Helen boils my piss. It's not even like they need the exposure, it's a massive fucking supermarket!
Makes me so sad as I've been buying stuff for my local gift appeal, with kids asking for things as basic as shower gel or socks for Xmas, and here's Helen who can't move for all the free shit she doesn't need and wouldn't even think to donate.
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
VIDEO SUMMARY:
Vlogmas Day 1 New Couple, New Tree
Vlogmas Day 1 New Couple, New Tree
Weird title for the first vlogmas?
Starting off with a flash back of Helga's old vlogmas clips. Past Helen looked so happy...
Present day and Helga is singing that it's December the first, she can read calenders.
She says she's "well excited" through gritted teeth, while looking miserable as fuck
Explains what vlogmas is
Says that to kick things off "it would be rude not to" have all the decorations up for vlogmas
It all started yesterday in the loft, here we go with a flash back
"My least favorite job" says past Helga, getting ready to get up into the loft - Fildo must be working or abandoned her
She starts singing how scary it is to go into her loft. It's a repeat of her Halloween in the loft alone.
She's found LOADSA decorations, and now she has to call Fil to ask if he can help her - and suddenly he appears!
"HELLO DARLING!!!" Shouts Helga
Footage of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum passing boxes to each other down a ladder is super fun content.
She's coming down the ladder now, Fildo has to supervise to make sure she doesnt die. First step down and "WOAAAAH IM DEAD!" she screams. "MA BIG ASS COMIN OUTTA HERE!" She says sticking it in Fil's face.
"Thank you very much, sir" She bids to Fil as he scarpers down the stairs back to his COD game
Present day Helga now, and she's been taking her time with putting up the decs, she feels very rushed and under pressure to put up the decorations and the tree all in one go.
Clip to Fil playing COD while she's busy sticking up decorations - Fil don't give no shits about helping Helga out with the festiveness
She's well chuffed with her decor skillz. Now we're back to past Helen getting the tree....
Complains about how busy it is and she really wanted to go to her usual place with all the dogs and reindeer and elves and a really fun day out but they're not doing that this year, due to "CoRoNa" she snarks in a whiny bitchy voice while pulling this face:
So they have to make do going to their local garden center. She's woahing at all the trees. Going around every tree going "this is quite nice" and thank fuck we have a tree.
No dog sled for Helga this year, she's got good EGG Fil to carry her tree to the car for her.
Making mulled wine now.... wait isn't this meant to be day 8's content??? She even made a spreadsheet!
Lunch is a Thanksgiving style spread... because she now apparently celebrates Thanksgiving...
Now past Helen is fulled we're on to the tree decorating.... exciting....
Picks up a light "These are red" they shine green "OH NO LOOK FIL!!!! THEY'RE DIFFERENT COLOURS!!!!" She screams, Fil ignores her, she orders him to go get her more shit and then asks him if he likes the lights "yep" he says. Remember when Helga claimed their communication was amazing - he just left her to ramble on about how she hates flashing lights because they make her go:
"Sometimes the flashing is a bit much, it's like SHUT UP" oh Helen, that doesn't just apply to flashing lights...
Fil's back "Oooh yay!" Says Helz, "Are they the ones?" ..... Fil ignores her again.
Now he's playing with the lights and he mumbles something about them. Speak up Fil - the audience can't hear your muffling!
Now they're putting up the lights, and they've suddenly turned into 80 year olds the way they act and speak to each other.... this is... weird.
Fil's teaching her how to put the lights up - how long is this fucking portion of video
"I could just keep feeding you like that" - that's probably the funniest thing you've ever said Filwhip - well done.
Now we're jump cutting bit parts of the conversation "It's not PAINFULLLL" moans Helen at Fil...
Fil tells her to pull the tree out of the corner "Ok Fil" she says sadly "are my methods not ok?" No, Helen they obviously aren't.
She passes a bunch of lights "Woahhh" says Fil, Helen freaks out and repeats "sorry sorry sorry" as fast as she can. Helen did bad.
"I totally forgot you are the king of logic" - you sure you want to say that to the person who almost electrocuted himself when you went camping, Helga??
"and it infuriates you when you can't be logical" then living with you must be a DELIGHT.
"These are all things that I'm learning about you Fil" oh god.... that's why this section is so fucking long - she's trying to PROVE her relationship to us. "yar, yar, yeah.... all good"
Now she's constantly asking him for his opinion for the star. Fuck me, just get it done woman.
They pop the tacky baubles up on the tree now, Fil likes the shark one (I'd laugh so much if that's one she got for Maff)
"I had a black tree one year" ah probably when she was in her GOFF phase.
Present day Helga: "And ere we are naow. The house is fully Christmassed" Now she can enjoy the rest of her Sunday evening, eating the left over desserts and mulled wine
"Fil is playing COD. I might have a nap". She looks depressed as FUCK when she said that
"Happy first of Vlogmas everyone" she raises a glass looking miserable
That was really fucking depressing
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I felt bad last time I did a ‘comical’ comparison to her body but you know what? Her behaviour and attitude especially toward viewers has only gotten worse since then so why the fuck should I care lol
For anyone unfamiliar, this doctor who alien is basically Helen’s spirit animal. They wear tiny human suits compared to their own much larger frame, love to fart and do so frequently and have an extremely inflated sense of self importance.
For anyone unfamiliar, this doctor who alien is basically Helen’s spirit animal. They wear tiny human suits compared to their own much larger frame, love to fart and do so frequently and have an extremely inflated sense of self importance.
Ahhhhhhhhh
Member
Influencers like Helen are fucking me off going out for lunches and dinners and drinks and seeing friends and family constantly. I've done fuck all all year. I lost my job, I had to go get a xmas temp job stacking shelves on the fucking night shift at Primark. All I do I go to work and go food shopping. I currently have covid for the second time right now. Again stuck at home whilst Helen does what the fuck she wants.
I'm so mad!!!!!
I'm so mad!!!!!
h0neybee
Active member
Why is she going out for a roast with Andy and Grace when we’re still in tier 2 in Norfolk and can’t go for a meal with anyone outside of our own household. Oh yeah because she’s a selfish covid denying dick head that can’t follow any form of rules because it upsets her and her social life too much. Piss off Helen you prick.VIDEO SUMMARY
Vlogmas Day 11 - 13
Wrapping my presets & A weekend of Joy
Oh, now she's clickbaited the title to "The only part of Christmas I Hate
Gotta get the views somehow
[DESCRIPTION: I wrapped my gifts with the help of Prosecco. We did some last minute shopping, Phil did some decorating, then sunday a roast was had!]
She greets us gurning and slurring "Welcome black to vlogmas"
View attachment 346720
"It's been a jolly good weekend, and I'm here to report on wot 'appened"
Friday flashback time:
Montage of her lighting various candles, grabbing a glass and a bottle of Prosecco.
Oh good lord she looks a fucking fright!
View attachment 346724
She actually thinks this is a festive look.....
Today she's going to wrapping presents - which she's been wanting to do for a while and she just wants to put them "unda neef der chreeee"
View attachment 346727
So today we're going to see what she's got in terms of wrapping paper... and she traditionally gets hers from Paperchase. She's a HUGE fan of they're wrapping and cards.
"I like to go on their website and see wot dey got, and every year I get sumfink different... It's kinda like... collecting... wrapping paper....ish"
View attachment 346734
She pulls a weird face. Obviously realizing that she sounds incredibly stupid. She grabs a bottle of Prosecco to help her wrap.
"If I'm quite honest with you I LOVE BUYING WRAPPING PAPER, I like decoratin' fings, but the actual act of wrapping.... I 'ate it, so I got some 'elp from a little friend of mine to make it a little bit more interesting..." She pops open the bottle.
"ah! That's better. It's Friday as well."
View attachment 346751
So she shows us her wrapping paper theme.... first up is gingerbread, next is Christmas trees - she starts stuttering over what to call brown paper "Is it that natural paper? It.. It... It is paper". Next is nutcrackers.... so far I'm not seeing the "theme" She got bottle bags for just in cases, and some gift bags and gift boxes.
She can't pronounce "recipient" and says "resiprertant"
Show us some hamper filling, cheap off Amazon
Some black tissue paper for Fil's birthday present
And finally a gift wrap accessory pack
We're wrapping all of Fil's gifts first because he's going to be home soon.
She says she's going to hate every second of wrapping - cue montage.
Cut to present day - she put all of Fil's gifts at the back of the tree "he 'ad a little poke around, and I shouted at 'im"
She managed to drink TWO bottles of Prosecco Friday
"It's been a while since I drank.... in excess...."
View attachment 346765
"...I suppose..."
View attachment 346768
View attachment 346772
It was a fun night, she watched a film and ordered a Deliveroo
Next day (Saturday) they woke up early as she wanted to go into town on the busiest day to do some last minute Christmas shopping.
They got there so early that the shops weren't open, so they went and got a coffee.
Slow mo flashback montage and voice over Helga says that she was starving so they got brunch out.
"We get 'ome.... I finish doing some wrapping.... Fil goes to the pub with his friends... for a couple of 'bev-er-rah-ges'"
View attachment 346781
And as she bought herself a new microwave to replace the broken one... she replaced the broken microwave "rest in peace old friend"
Fuck me, we're having a flash back of this moment. Really?
"you did serve me well"
We have to witness her talking to herself, whilst switch in on "yay it works! LOOK AT THAT! BACK IN BUSINESS BABY"
Present day Hlega says that Fil returns "all is well" but he wants to go out and get some tinsel and she "gave him the job of putting up the tinsel where HE wants to put the tinsel"
Cut to past Kirby Egg looking pleased that he's got his tinsel and describes to us all the colours that we can get tinsel in. He's well precious.
He's going up the stairs wrapping the tinsel around the banister whilst talking to himself, because Helga has clipped that fucking microphone on him and told him to walk and talk Helga style.
Helga comments how she's never had tinsel on the stairs before.
She now conducts an interview and asks Fil what his favorite thing is about Christmas.
"erm... eating... drinking.... being with... people.... and being merry"
Helga asks what his favorite thing to eat is, "cheeeeese" Fil replies
She asks him what he hopes Santa Claus has brought him this year, "errrr, a Porche 911 Turbo S
And Kirby Egg's all done with the tinsel
"Well done" says Jelly Belly
Now he's going on about how nice the tinsel looks.... HE IS SO BORING.
Helen now suggest we go look at the Christmas ornament Fil chose, because he doesn't have one yet - we see he has got himself a Tiger King ornament placed snugly among the other collection of ex-boyfriends ornaments. Also.... remember when Helga ranted about the Tiger King being over rated. Suddenly she loves it because Fil does?
Fil does all the Tiger King impressions. They suck.
She asks Fil what they should do now... You can see Fil desperatly wants to say play COD but he says they are going to chill and watch something on telly.
Present day Helga goes on to say they finished the evening making the final Gusto recipe "a sort of a kiev, which wasn't a kiev, but said it was a kiev, but it wasn't a kiev, because kiev's have fillings inside whereas this you had a filling on top...."
View attachment 346815
"it was a FESTIVE kiev"
Flashback to Sunday - she had a bath because she didn't have her weekly Saturday one, so she made up for it on Sunday
She popped over to her sister's to say hello to her nieces as she hadn't seen them for a while.
Then went off to Bread Source for doughnuts which she's never experienced before "hhhhhhhhh omg sooooo good" she drools
Later on they went out for a roast with Andy and Grace
Cut to a flashback of Helga interviewing Andy about what he's just eaten
"and that was my weekend!" She smiles, quickly turning her mouth upside down "I'm very much looking forward to *sigh* another week of vlogmas...."
Say it one more time with feeling, Helga.
View attachment 346832
"Christmas is next week, and I'm soooo excited! I keep getting all emosh, like I keep getting overwhelmed wiv 'ow excited I am about Christmas. Like I wanna cry... about Christmas..... cos I'm so excited and happy"
View attachment 346834
Probably because she finally has a man sticking around for one.
That's it.
Routron
Chatty Member
I was reading through a subreddit called Instagramreality where people post pictures of insta celebrity photos vs reality. Someone shared the picture of Helen she posted about not smoothing her skin etc and I spied this in the comments. I wonder who they are.... more examples of people who actually know her saying she's not nice!
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dinosauring
Member
I don't mean to sound cruel, but considering she works out so much she must eat like absolutely crap to still look SO out of shape...
Teasipper1
Member
We all know Helen wouldn’t last 10 minutes in the real world. Wish I could just delete the things my boss says to me on a daily basis. 
luckyblue
VIP Member
I can’t even finish reading the summary yet I’m so angry about her travelling to London. Personal rant incoming. I work in a music venue in London and I’ve been on furlough since early March. We finally had the chance to reopen this month with one event, after bringing in new measures and systems. Obviously that can’t happen now. I can’t say whether it was the safest thing for us to open or not, but I do know preparing to open cost a lot of money. Now that can’t happen because of the lockdown, and I do believe influencers are part to blame for that.
All these influencers keep travelling to London like it’s nothing. It’s like they don’t see it as a real place where people live. It’s not just a playground for people with extra cash to come down and entertain themselves.
All these influencers keep travelling to London like it’s nothing. It’s like they don’t see it as a real place where people live. It’s not just a playground for people with extra cash to come down and entertain themselves.
Teasipper1
Member
Life. Changing. Content. One really good idea would be a video on how to give back at Christmas time. Buying Christmas cards from charities, so the money is going towards a good cause, putting together a shoe box for a child in need, putting together a care package for a homeless person, making a Christmas food hamper for a struggling family or calling an elderly person on Christmas Day who may be spending their first Christmas without their Wife/Husband, have family that live far away or don’t have any family at all. But no of course this is not the content we will see from selfish, greedy influencers like Helen, instead we will get the pleasure of seeing gifted overpriced crap. 
Tyla73
VIP Member
She really is a foul, entitled little shit, isn’t she? Being ‘successful’ and ‘going up in the world’ hasn’t made her happy, in fact she‘s so miserable she can’t even be bothered to wash her hair or her dishes. She’s unhealthy, deeply insecure, has incredibly toxic coping mechanisms, no sense of purpose and I suspect she’s up to her eyeballs in debt.
I’ve said this before, but I do think the influencer bubble is going to burst in the UK next year. No deal Brexit is looking very likely and the economic consequences of that are going be harsh at best, catastrophic at worst. Even with a deal, Brexit, combined with the economic effects of the pandemic, is going to make 2021 very difficult for a lot of people. Things will be more expensive and people are going to be forced to readdress their priorities - if the cost of food, fuel and other basic necessities increases, there will be less money for ‘luxury’ items. There will be supply chain issues and less choice, at least initially. And all that means tolerance for influencers and the money to buy the endless crap they promote is going to go seriously downhill.
If Influencers weren’t mostly such annoying, self centred, self serving twats, I’d almost feel sorry for them because a lot of them are going to be screwed in the next couple of years.
luckyblue
VIP Member
I never realised before joining tattle how many influencers delete comments on such a large scale. Honestly it’s put me completely off. I don’t know how people can support her at all when someone leaves polite criticism and they get attacked/deleted/blocked. I understand genuine nastiness but one of them just basically said “please don’t go to London”.
Also, I don’t care if she smokes weed, I do too, so it’s not a judgement of that. But I wouldn’t go to work stoned. Especially when she is the brand.
microwavequeen
Chatty Member
Helen Anderson #10: Gets worse every thread
a very blunt title
a very blunt title
It really is like a character she jumps in to. I’ve met her a few times. The first time I saw her with her she was with her mates and really wanted to say hi as I really liked her back then. She was really calm and just walking with her friends and the moment she realised I was a subscriber she completely changed into Fearne Cotton from the Morganna show. At the time I felt sorry for her because her friends all rolled their eyes and carried on walking. It all makes sense now.
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