WELCOME TO THREAD
#9:
HAD A THREESOME, KIND OF...
Big thank you to @TaylorSlattery for the title suggestion!
(49 votes)
(Shout out to the runner up suggestion from @Shesaidwhat? With 45 votes, the classic line from @SHEEP “Oh God Helen, go do some decorating or something!” in response to the Helga troll)
PREVIOUS THREAD: HERE
Trying to make the previous thread summaries a lot shorter so it's more readable - if I've missed anything out please add it!
Soooo....let's have a recap and get right to the good stuff!
#9: HAD A THREESOME, KIND OF...
Big thank you to @TaylorSlattery for the title suggestion!
(49 votes) (Shout out to the runner up suggestion from @Shesaidwhat? With 45 votes, the classic line from @SHEEP “Oh God Helen, go do some decorating or something!” in response to the Helga troll)
PREVIOUS THREAD: HERE
Trying to make the previous thread summaries a lot shorter so it's more readable - if I've missed anything out please add it!
Soooo....let's have a recap and get right to the good stuff!
▷ Continued discussion on the 10 Ways to Boost Your Confidence PERMANENTLY video:
- “Be naked around your friends” advice was the silliest advice we've ever heard
- Plenty of people do not want to see their friends naked, it's got nothing to do with confidence and can be problematic.
- Her “No one cares about the thing you're insecure about, so you shouldn't care either” advice was just as tit and untrue - it doesn't deal with the insecurity just ignores it, which doesn't work
- She doesn't know the difference between positive or negative attention and doesn't have any self awareness of how and when to be appropriate (eg: 'Alternative Wedding Guest Outfit Ideas' and 'Alternative Office and Work Wear Ideas' videos)
▷ Spotting Quirkerz in the wild:
- At Download she was seen barging past people and whining that she had to queue for food
- Also at Download she was heard her bitching about the toilets being muddy and not cleaned every hour (from it being super fucking muddy) and she was going to put in a complaint about it. She was also rude and inconsiderate to everyone around her
- Another commented when they saw her in the wild she sounded like an absolute bloody foghorn
▷ Still tries to claim that her brand is alternative and unique fashion:
- These days she's more mainstream than ever, gets almost all her clothes from ASOS and her band tees from Topshop
- Her style these days is Granny Vibez since she has the coat and the trousers of an 80 year old (complete with forgetting to zip the fly up)
▷ Looks miserable in her 10 Year Instagram Style Evolution video:
- Thinks that wearing a black skeleton hand top is her dressing as “metal”
- Thinks that a necklace makes her “glam rock”
- Thinks that white shirts are “rock and roll”
- Thinks that she was a “pastel goff” because she wore pink kitsch earrings
- Thinks that a leopard print cardigan makes her rockabilly
- Also pronounced words incorrectly: “levver”, “middrift” and “bohemium”
- Edgelord Helga thinks she's the first person who brought back “fur” coats
▷ More midsize lies:
- 5ft 2” Helga claims that she is a 30 waist / 32 leg in jeans – (UK size 12) which is bollocks (Some reckon that she's either a big fat liar, or that she's mixed up her numbers because she's stupid)
- Also remembering that she has been claiming the same size 14 lie for 7 years and is clearly not the same size
▷ It's not hard to stay at home, unless you're Quirkerz:
- Previously ranted about how she follows lock down rules and it's not hard to stay indoors
- Lock down 2 starts, she's off out nearly every single day, doing non essential shopping trips and meeting multiple friends
- In her “Short n sweet & potentially pointless” vlog she complains about lock down being so tough on her and how she hasn't been able to see her friends or family.... despite meeting multiple friends just 5 days before
- Constantly complains about not being able to live normally, forgets that she's had multiple holidays, trips out etc, whilst a lot of other people have still been in lock down
▷ Uses mental health as a way to promote her band:
- Posted an IG story and Tattle was happy that she spoke about mental health but she used a ridiculous face filter and then used MH as an opportunity to advertise her band, telling people to go listen to her new song
- In her Virtual Pie Night, Hinching & Anxiety vlog's description she describes the vlog as a recipe with a “pinch of anxiety thrown in”
▷ Makes ears bleed:
- From her Virtual Pie Night, Hinching & Anxiety Vlog she edits in a clip of her singing so loud that she most likely burst a few viewer's ear drums: LINK (WARNING: IT'S LOUD)
- She's got her own song constantly playing on repeat (or is it Fildo listening to it over and over because he loooooove the song soooo much)
▷ Mocks career changes if you're in your 30s:
- Makes a comment about Fildo studying 'sports something' (she doesn't actually know) at university, but now he works in plumbing and heating “ha ha ha! Career change at 30!” she laughs, as if its a bad thing
▷ Asks for questions she's been avoiding... but still avoids them:
- Asks people to ask her scandalous questions she's been avoiding - gets asked about her divorce - then posts a strop that she doesn't want to answer those questions and changes her video idea to “have I ever” questions
- Since she's still avoiding all things Maff, we take a trip down memory lane and discuss all things wedding and marriage related (starting post here)
▷ Overshares all the wrong things:
- In her “Have You Ever?” video, she click baits people with the title “(I can't believe I'm being this honest!) - answers half the questions with a yes or no answer
- Kink shames by warning viewers that she was talking about ”disgusting things” like threesomes
- We learned that Helen has pissed and shat herself multiple times, oh and she farts a lot.... yes these are the types of questions her audience thought about her
- She ate a whole birthday cake to herself in one go and when she complained about feeling ill, her mate told her to go eat a bit of fruit
- Has “kind of, not really” had a threesome and couldn't remember who she shagged in a car (we think she lies) – yet could recall edetails of her shitting, pissing and sharting herself
- She tells people that she “works in TV” or “works in fashion” but doesn't consider it as lying.
- Still blames the “YouTube algorithm” for her shitty views and loss in subscribers rather than her crappy, dull content (she had another 1k loss in subs this month)
- Pronounced the name Juanita as “Jew Anita”
▷ Still complains about being alone, despite not actually being alone:
- Complains about being weird around the multiple handy men in her house because she's alone ALL THE TIME (she's not, Fildo's just gone to work)
- Complains about how HARD it is to film ALONE (It's not, many other influencers manage it)
▷ Still in denial about the state of her hair:
- Posts a story saying she “looks like” her hairline is receding, without actually realising that IT IS
▷ Was such a 'rebel' at school:
- Bragged that she went to school drunk on beer
- Told her audience that no one cares about GCSEs or A Levels after school
▷ Her friend is a dick:
- Kat Fucking Williams from Rock and Roll Bride / Confetti Girls has set up her own confidence club, where she's “TREATING” people (for the low, low price of £75) to learn the ancient art of “duck what everyone else thinks”
- Oh and you get pictures of Kat's face thrown too!
▷ Does another quirky skit where she flashes her tit:
- Does a skit where she woke up late so had to sneak around the house, despite being home alone, whips her towel off and flashes her tit before the jump cut
▷ Promotes a questionable company, because freebies:
- Gets gifted over £600 worth in jewellery from Thomas Sabo, but the company seems to have a bad reputation on Trust Pilot for being over priced, poor quality goods with terrible customer service who never refunds or replaces faulty items
Previous thread picture highlights:
SIDE
I ended up just wanting to dye my hair purple though