Lauren Goodger #27 Scamming cash by selling fake gear & lips that look like a baboon's rear

[SATCGOSS]

'bleep runt'!
I shall be using that one from now on!

It’s simple I guess, bit like Loz

 

[Sunnydaze101]

What size she bought those in? Size 6? Coming to depop soon!

Size 654. Will fit any sized feet between 4-6. Just needs socks to make It fit better as she commented in one post.

 

[MrsGripperStebson]

Calling herself a stay-at-home parent is a bloody insult to those that do the job but just wait till the New Management arrives THEN she will be in the position to comment about the hard work, the exhaustion, lack of sleep - ALL of it! Right now is the best time she's ever had vis a vis what she has looming in the near future, to which how is she going to continue with her video smut when theres a screaming banshee letting rip in the next room demanding attention? I think she is in for one horrible shock

She’ll wait until Laulie is crying before she gets on OF, her vile pervy fans will love the milk spurting out in response to the crying

 

[Clickbait]

Out shopping without a mask, needs to sit down and take selfies, goes into Zara to buy clothes that won’t fit her. Excellent use of her time and energy.

 

[BonsaiBobbi]

FFS, she's out n about n pouting n hair flickin again, on power save mode as per:


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Why is she dressed like an early 80s male figure skater? The black lycra all in one with the diamante trim? We know how poor she was on Dancing on ice. Why has she been buying John Curry's cast offs?

 

[Userom]

Why is she dressed like an early 80s male figure skater? The black lycra all in one with the diamante trim? We know how poor she was on Dancing on ice. Why has she been buying John Curry's cast offs?

I was thinking earlier WTAF is she wearing and now I know

 

[Sunnydaze101]

Out shopping without a mask, needs to sit down and take selfies, goes into Zara to buy clothes that won’t fit her. Excellent use of her time and energy.

She probably caught a glimpse of herself in the actual mirrors and couldn’t bear it so had to quickly look at herself through her filtered phone camera.

 

[Emmie81]

I’m a comfortable 12 and also 1/2 Spanish and the only thing in my size that fits is the shoes.
I think all my Zara coats are a L....

Her size 18 frame ain’t fitting into Zara clothes

ES GORDA

 

[SATCGOSS]

I’m a comfortable 12 and also 1/2 Spanish and the only thing in my size that fits is the shoes.
I think all my Zara coats are a L....

Her size 18 frame ain’t fitting into Zara clothes

ES GORDA

Clothes actually fitting has never bothered Big Loz, in fact she prides herself on having that poured/sewn in look and if she isn’t bursting the seams it is too big

She probably caught a glimpse of herself in the actual mirrors and couldn’t bear it so had to quickly look at herself through her filtered phone camera.

There must actually be truth in this, the shallow Hal syndrome

Why is she dressed like an early 80s male figure skater? The black lycra all in one with the diamante trim? We know how poor she was on Dancing on ice. Why has she been buying John Curry's cast offs?

ROFL, this is a perfect description

 

[Sasha Sinclair]

She's just fat curvy

 

[SATCGOSS]

Out shopping without a mask, needs to sit down and take selfies, goes into Zara to buy clothes that won’t fit her. Excellent use of her time and energy.

Yes but Lozza is such a sleb that COVID has to ask Moleman before daring to approach her, do you not know who she is

Thread recap as always, you’re so witty

#’copyrite’ covid @unleashed talent

 

[Facehugger]

Why is she dressed like an early 80s male figure skater? The black lycra all in one with the diamante trim? We know how poor she was on Dancing on ice. Why has she been buying John Curry's cast offs?

God's sake, it's more like the spare wardrobe seconds from 'Blades of Glory' intit babez?

I so can't wait till she's up all night with a screaming colicky baby, for weeks, moaning and complaining it's so hard, she's so tired, blah blah baboon's arse blah! Welcome to Motherhood Lozza

 

[Jane L]

A big well done to our @Facehugger for the new thread title , managed to make it fit with a bit of a trim.

For the lovely @Jane L (and because the Captain has gone to bed) I get to kick off the new thread. As always a privilege and a pleasure Scrunchies.

Now then all you #jelhaters can you believe it’s time for another thread? We’re now in year week 29 of the longest ‘pregacy’ in history and not long before hot mumma pending’s meal ticket baby arrives. And boy does she need the money!

Clearly being the self-proclaimed reality TV OG doesn’t pay the bills or get you a big house with an outbuilding to botch other yungels faces in, so hot on the heels of appearing to sell a topless shot for £100, she is charging £20 for a pic of her grotesque inflated arse featuring one of her many new heads.

The big wardrobe clear out has spawned its own IG page selling quite possibly counterfeit designer goods for which she is offering no returns or refunds which is against the law. Too stupid to know (and do proper research), too selfish to care.

Looking at this treasure trove of treats we have some second-hand Louboutin heels she’s charging more than they retail for on the company website; some “Louis Vuitton” nana trainers; and some ugly AF ‘Yeezy’ slider/Croc hybrid and mounds of other trainers that seem to have magicked their way out of their wardrobe and into their mate’s shop

We discovered one of our own @AlwightDallin is a designer goods specialist able to point out some of the inconsistencies in the models she is flogging - this post, this post, and this one. Impressive stuff, thank you for your service.

She’s going “back to work” touting a “specail” offer where you pay her £180 and she makes your mouth look like a baboon’s arse/ @behindthesofa’s dog’s swollen fanny

There is speculation she’ll soon be selling her kid’s nappy contents to the highest bidder, and given they’ll have baybeh on takeaway ASAP that will certainly be a sight to behold.



She took her excitable little boy Chaz to the seaside to go on some fairground rides with some people closer to his age and posed like someone in their mid-30s desperately clinging to their youth in her overstretched leggings, baseball cap, fake trainers and bum bag. The latter got some of you Scrunchies confused but @Silly-old-Slapper realised it was actually a floatation device in case Big Loz fell into the sea. We don’t want her dredged up for a second time.

We got a pic of Chaz and his new toy rabbit (should keep him quiet for a while eh Loz?) that shows he’s really been enjoying his food. Loz is FaceApp’d and wearing stained clothes again, nipples are leaking babez. Subsequently she revealed they’re sleeping with the rabbit toy so their stench of fried foods, curry, BO and sweetcorn-induced flatulence will permeate the toy and gas baybeh into a deep sleep.

She wants her “colleges” to be understanding of her need to be selfish by having a beauty treatment (possibly a massage - hopefully not full body *shudders*). She’s also begged some eyelash extensions and a door key. High ticket items for our celebrity.

Another Thursday rolled around and so it was time for her OK column in which we discovered she can’t wait to choose a freebie chavtastic bangle for baybeh; her basic comprehension skills are still woeful as she used a post about the fakeness of IG photos to moan about paps getting bad angles and making her “natural makeup and nice clothes” look bad and her body look bigger than she is. @WordSalad pointed out the obvious flaw in this argument.

She also blamed Oddbod for the fact she can’t stop stuffing her face with junk food as apparently you don’t need to eat healthily if you’re pregnant . It seems you also cannot do any exercise or visit the gym but she’s desperate to snoop on go training with Chaz as soon as baybeh has popped out and is settled - as @MesaLoca suggests - in the cupboard underneath the stairs with the #gifted trash.

Oddbod got a bit confused with how couples share a baby obviously Big Loz’s baby Brian is contagious

The news of their new clothes line made it into the Derbyshire News and the comments on their FB post were highly entertaining thank you for sharing @NinaStar90.

She posted a blatantly old photo from the ‘polyester jumpsuit’ series - car park setting - and when challenged on it apparently sent threatening DMs to the poster and told a whopper that would make Pinocchio blush “you can’t edit a video”.

This episode culminated in chat forum and DM commenters being called #busycunts. Language Lozza

We had some more Scrunchies showing off their musical talents: @BonsaiBobbi penned a bewful Loz n Chaz rap; @Blowup80 came up a second verse of DJ sink boy’s new destined-for-number-one rap; and @MunHun reimagined the Artic Monkeys “When the sun goes down” for our love birds.

@fluffyglitterbug managed to pop by and give us an update on our mascot Scrunchie and his friends .

And we had some stunnin’ art work from @Badirene. Bravo one and all

Finally, drum roll ... Get your plunger 🪠 to hand as Chaz is back in business on Only Fans! Coming to (and in) a sink near you

Oh man @Clickbait thank you firstly for my first ever mention (sniff!) and I don’t know what you do for a living but if you’re not highly successful you should be. The attention to detail is just sublime.
My personal fave was the ‘ugly AF Yeezy slider/crocs’ (I know!), oh and the ‘dogs swollen fanny’, oh and the floatation device/dredging ref, which I had not previously seen.
Just class thank you so much.
Ps don’t know who this captain is you speak of.... But tell me just out of interest was that a title bestowed on said person or was it self appointed? Regardless, it’s a no fricking brainer - you need to start every thread.
Yours...

 

[Bexy bex bex]

I can’t wait to see what she is going to try squeeze herself into from Zara. There clothes are hardly cut for curves and that ass of hers is def never going to fit!! Also didn’t realise they sold cheap unflattering jumpsuits for car park strolls now

 

[SATCGOSS]

Oh man @Clickbait thank you firstly for my first ever mention (sniff!) and I don’t know what you do for a living but if you’re not highly successful you should be. The attention to detail is just sublime.
My personal fave was the ‘ugly AF Yeezy slider/crocs’ (I know!), oh and the ‘dogs swollen fanny’, oh and the floatation device/dredging ref, which I had not previously seen.
Just class thank you so much.
Ps don’t know who this captain is you speak of.... But tell me just out of interest was that a title bestowed on said person or was it self appointed? Regardless, it’s a no fricking brainer - you need to start every thread.
Yours...

Captain is @265, I’m curious too, I have some recollection of Capt. Birdseye but could be wrong

 

[Facehugger]

Oh man @Clickbait thank you firstly for my first ever mention (sniff!) and I don’t know what you do for a living but if you’re not highly successful you should be. The attention to detail is just sublime.
My personal fave was the ‘ugly AF Yeezy slider/crocs’ (I know!), oh and the ‘dogs swollen fanny’, oh and the floatation device/dredging ref, which I had not previously seen.
Just class thank you so much.
Ps don’t know who this captain is you speak of.... But tell me just out of interest was that a title bestowed on said person or was it self appointed? Regardless, it’s a no fricking brainer - you need to start every thread.
Yours...

The captain title is a running joke. It is a bestowed title. 265 was joked at one night that he is Captain Birds Eye because he likes his fish fingers on a Friday. He then had an avatar of Captain Birdseye for a while. It's nothing to do with being captain of any ships or anything

Oh, forgot, this title came after a particularly gigglesome friday night where we said we bet he'd been on only fans dressed in his Mam's nightie earning a few quid (my fault) and he said no he was having his fish fingers.

 

[JakeM]

I know I’ve said it before but how on earth is she only 30 weeks pregnant? She must be overdue now, surely?

 

[xyzcba]

She's 100% just gone out to buy some stuff on the credit card to try and prove everyone wrong and that she has got a small pot to piss in.

The skating onesie comments are hilarious You lot kill me, I didn't even notice but this is why we all make a good ScrunchBunch®️ - there's always someone with a fresh pair of eyes!

 

[MrFMercury]

If she needs to sit down I need a couple of week to unbend my mind from the bath pic yesterday .....

 

[Facehugger]

I know I’ve said it before but how on earth is she only 30 weeks pregnant? She must be overdue now, surely?

34 Jake, she'll have it at 37 which is full term & which is sometime the first week or so in June, I keep telling ya!!