Jack Monroe

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  • Jack Monroe is a successful writer with several best selling cookery books.

    Here is a link to the Lime Goss article on Jack (which concerns her one-sided beef with That Man).

    A potted history


    Jack was brought up by a high-ranking firefighter father and a nurse mother who also fostered (so three incomes). They have a five bed detached house in a nice part of Southend and Jack went to a grammar school. She recently claimed to have been expelled (unbeknown to her mother) for stealing a scalpel but this is disputed. Various accounts say that she received between 4.5 and 7 GCSEs and then left school in 2004.

    Jack’s Grandad was Greek-Cypriot and was a landlord with a string of properties and restaurants around Essex. Edwina Currie pointed this out during a televised debate while Jack pretended she was working class and Jack screamed “My Grandfather is DEAD” in place of an actual rebuttal (from about 32:00 in this clip). Then she wrote a whingey open letter as a response a few days later.

    Jack’s mother is Northern Irish. Jack likes to hint at her status as a “second generation immigrant” when she can.

    After some casual work in cafés and bars after she left school in 2004, Jack somehow (read: Daddy) got a job in the control room for the fire service in 2007. This was a highly paid role for someone in their early twenties with no qualifications - £24-27k.

    Jack managed to get pregnant through a dalliance with a friend and subsequently variously claims that she was dismissed from the fire service or forced to leave because they would not accommodate her request for flexible working to look after her son. Never mind that armies of key worker parents have managed to do shift work forever: Jack didn’t want to so she left her well paid job to Make A Point.

    Despite having well off relatives who could have helped her, and the father of her child being famously supportive (she literally wrote a Guardian article thanking him), she chose to keep her problems with the benefit system quiet and instead allowed herself and her baby son to go hungry for between 6 months and a year. She claims to have sold a piano, a very fancy watch, her son’s cuddly toys, the lightbulbs and last of all her very fancy camera to make ends meet. Never mind that most poor people don’t have access to Omega Seamasters as a matter of course. Jack did.

    Despite being too proud to ask for help from her parents, Jack wasn’t too proud to tell her story on a publicly available blog, or to publicise her situation through a friend who happened to be a local journalist. Her story of woe gained a LOT of traction. The piece that got her attention was Hunger Hurts.

    Increasingly she was given writing work, publishing deals, corporate sponsorships and awards for her work. She became Quite Famous as the palatable face of the poors.

    By May 2015, Jack had moved in with millionaire chef Allegra McEvedy and began to rub shoulders with the West London media set. She fucked this relationship up.

    She moved back to Essex for her son (although this seemed to bother her less when she uprooted him to move in with a millionaire) and not long after got with a C4 news exec. She continued to get TV work, writing jobs and book deals despite her brief stint in poverty being increasingly irrelevant given spreading disadvantage and the rollout of universal credit.

    As late as 2019 she claims to 'get paid £9 an hour', even though she is a freelancer and author, who doesn't have an hourly wage. She has a business listed on companies house, so if she only pays herself £9 an hour that is a very different scenario to being paid £9 an hour. (Please note her birth year is wrongly listed. It's a typo, not a smoking gun).

    At the start of lockdown, despite living with a very well paid partner in a large detached property, she posted an extended freak out about loss of income and aggressively posted links to her PayPal and Patreon for donations. She also started a campaign against Jamie Oliver for getting a TV show, leading to being booked for Daily Kitchen Live which she was consistently underprepared for.

    Said partner broke up with her. She had another freak out about the rent on her large property and rattled the tip jar again.

    She threatened to sue Tattle posters for saying she was not very good on the telly.

    She has received more gifts and found more discarded high end items than any person who ever existed. These include: a Burberry scarf, expensive crockery, an Emin (which is hung in her toilet). She spends an inordinate amount of money on expensive furniture, clothes and tech, but then pretends that she has no money for butter.

    She claims that she can feed a family of 3 (her ex came back to ‘bubble’ with her) on £20 per week. This is bullshit as she doesn’t include toiletries, cleaning stuff, pet food or lots of what makes an appearance in her photos. We suspect she actually uses Ocado for fancy deliveries and performs this poverty.

    There’s just so much more, including an army of flying Twitter monkies (her phrase) who attack anyone who dares to speak out.

    Timelines


    Jobs and Poverty timeline


    ***Primarily from this excellent post here ***
    Sourced timeline of Jack's poverty experience. Obviously journalists may make mistakes, but Jack herself wrote that she sold pretty much everything of value before the "yard sale".


    Oct 2011: Jack moves into a 2-bedroom flat after ending a relationship (4)

    Nov 2011: Jack resigns from fire service

    Nov 2011: Jack sells Omega Seamaster watch (1)

    Dec 2011: Jack turns off heating (1)



    SOME TIME BETWEEN DEC 2011 AND BEFORE JULY 2012:

    Jack is unable to move to a cheaper flat as she can't afford a deposit (3)

    Jack sells iPhone for a quarter of its original price (1)

    Jack unplugs everything (1) and claims fridge stays unplugged for two years (7)

    Jack takes lightbulbs out (1)

    Jack sells DVDs, netbook, camera, and all belongings except two plates, two bowls, two mugs, two glasses, two forks, two knives and two spoons (1)

    Jack sells "Ford Kia" (2) (not actually a car that exists. Also, she can't drive because of autism)



    Jul 2012: Jack comes out as poor (3)

    Jul 2012: Jack sells guitar and TV (1)

    Aug 2012: Jack sells TV again (4)

    Aug 2012: Jack has her famous "yard sale" and sells everything including toy dinosaur, piano, two more guitars, Denby and Wedgwood crockery, curtains, clothes, her iPhone again, armchairs, coffee table and bathroom storage units (4). She earns 3k, then moves to a cheaper house share (3)

    Dec 2012: Jack is living on a tenner a week and will be spending Christmas with her parents (2)


    In 2013: Jack is in prostitution and stealing to survive(7)

    Feb 2013: Jack starts writing for the Southend Echo (5)

    May 2013: Jack wins a prize from Fortnum & Mason (5)

    July 2013: Jack lives in a shared house with five others and (6) but her fridge must still be switched off, as she switched it off at the earliest in December 2011 (see above) and says it stayed off for two years (December 2013 at the earliest). (7)

    July 2013: Jack is first published in the Guardian (8)

    At some point between December 2013 and July 2014: Jack switches on her fridge (1 and 7)



    Jan 2014: Poverty over? Jack works for Sainsburys, signs book deal, goes to Tanzania, etc. (3)

    Jan 2014: Jack moves to a new flat (3)





    SOURCES:
    1 https://web.archive.org/web/20130201235747/http://agirlcalledjack.com/2012/07/30/hunger-hurts/

    2 https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/young-mum-turns-off-heating-so-she-can-1502710.amp

    3 https://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/15/...-has-become-britains-austerity-celebrity.html

    4 https://web.archive.org/web/2013020...oyed-mum-sells-off-belongings-essex-enquirer/

    5 https://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/jul/23/jack-monroe-face-modern-poverty

    6 https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/jul/20/10-pound-food-shop-blog

    7 Threadreader App (downloaded post here https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...dessicated-olive-and-grape.15760/post-3995885)

    8 https://www.theguardian.com/lifeand...und-a-week-recipes?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

    Kitten timeline


    *** The sad timeline of the kitten here ***

    For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):

    Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
    Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

    Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.

    For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.

    *** JACKISMS ***

    Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:

    Yes, absolutely x

    Some other favourite Jack quotes:

    ‘Babe, same’
    ‘I did a chaos’
    ‘My maverick brain’
    ‘My sad little face’
    ‘I’m BUSY’
    ‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’
    ‘I laughed up a lung’

    ** NEW **
    ‘Literally hella embarrassed AF’ about ‘Brexit and flip-flopping Covid flippancy’ and she ‘didn’t even vote for it’.

    She likes to describe herself as ‘puppyishly honest and naively enthusiastic’

    As of late November 2020, Jack conceded she is not poor, but living to a budget as she is saving for a forever home for her and SB.

    *****

    One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **

    To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).

    Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *

    Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)

    We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

    During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.

    Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.

    Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now fuck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to fuck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.

    *Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*

    Also:
    • She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
    • She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
    • Her dad's a fucking LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
    • Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
    • ** NEW ** However, during Lockdown 2 (November 2020), a bubble buddy, ‘buddle’ (BB) came to stay with Jack. BB is pescatarian, cycles 200 miles a week, and works in London. Jack is teaching her to cook, while also using her as a figure of gentle ridicule. She cannot cook, she cannot iron, she cannot clean the television properly, she left the hose out and it got eaten by a fox, and she doesn’t know the difference between wet and dry ingredients.
    • Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
    • She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
    • During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’
    • The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.
    • She recently claimed she found her Burberry scarf in a muddy puddle.

    Use the pink link tab at the top of the thread to find Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, where you will find all episodes of Daily Kitchen Live.

    We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.

    • Lastly, but importantly, when submitting ideas for the next thread title, please use the words ‘thread title’, as it makes it easier to search. Just using the number won’t be enough. We also can’t have swears in the title, and try to hold off until around p. 40 for your suggestions, if possible. ThankYOU.

    Here is a link to @Bookweevil ’s Glossary. (Please don’t add to it or edit in any way.)

    Curious contradictions


    • Has a pop at Jamie Oliver for using capers as apparently they're too specialist, then uses capers the next week for her first column in the metro. The following week posts a recipe with the far more specialised lime pickle.
    • Says she bought designer clothes and accessories with her book advances in order to sell during times of hardship. At the very start of the covid-19 outbreak she was saying how broke she was and using emotional language to get people to donate cash.
    • Has had 7 books out, a popular website with adverts, many commissions, paid for public events and generally a successful career but claims to only pay herself the living wage and talks about financial struggles.-
    • Lives with her partner that's an executive at Channel 4 who is estimated to earn £250'000 but regularly pleads poverty. -UPDATE: SHE LEFT (her partner left in May 2020)
    • Calls her rented bungalow shitty and shabby when it looks pretty nice in newspaper articles. Back-pedals to say she was talking about the state she lives in it. It is also debatable whether her dwelling is, in fact, a bungalow as it looks suspiciously like a two-storey house.
    • Claims to have rheumatoid arthritis that is so bad (especially "right foot, hand, knee and hip") it leaves her regularly requiring a walking stick. On International Women's Day 2020 she posted a picture of herself delivering a complete speech standing on tiptoes, stating she always delivers speeches this way and has done for years. Apparently as she can stand like this for 12 minutes (and therefore knows when to start finishing up), due to her previous ballet training.
    • Has been recognised by the urban dictionary
    • Monroed
      The act of totally screwing thing up.
      Man he monroed it all up
    • Possibly suffers from - Helioproctosis .thinks that the sun shines out of her arse
    • Claims to have invented many many things such as the government “Healthy Start” vouchers and including marmite butter! Even though you can buy it in jars. Other inventions include the word "twunt" and Gregg's vegan pasty.
    • Has a love of Facetune, despite being body positive.

    BBC Daily Kitchen


    After her Twitter outburst claiming she deserved a programme during lockdown above Jamie Oliver, JM landed a BCC gig, co-presenting Daily Kitchen Live with Matt Tebbutt. Links to all the episodes are below:
    Kickstarter
    Jack Monroe ran a Kickstarter campaign to fund one of her books. She raised close to £70,000 but due to a lack of transparency and delays caused by her inability to complete any task, many of her backers ended up turning on her. The link to the campaign and comments is here: Kickstarter and our discussion is Here in thread 124-125

    Jack's Coming Soons

    a frequently updated list of all the recipes, articles, blog posts, projects etc that Jack herself has said she will do. Includes green ticks and evidence for when she completes something.


    £15 a week lunches
    £20 shops as a whole
    9 half-written manuscripts
    35 recipes from a £20 shop, pick your fave
    2000 words for print glossy ✅ GQ awards
    advent calendar
    aged chicken thigh bone stock
    article for The Breakdown
    base system going in next book
    BBC show ✅ guest on dr rupy's iplayer show
    big press photo shoots
    BLM video monetization donation
    blog post excited about for ages
    book on culinary history
    book signing in Belfast
    books for slow cooker appeal
    books for the rural coffee caravan
    Brand New System for desk - wallpaper ✅
    Camp Kitchen from the shed
    chestnut fudge thing
    chicken livers
    coffee scrub
    comic filter security
    Conditions of Bungalow Bubbling lessons
    curating regular book recommendations
    David Walliams book reviews
    dauphinoise pie
    depressipes
    detailed blog on nutrition
    devilled eggs recipe - completed it, mate ✅
    drawing nigella's garden
    ethical on a budget
    explain daily usage of pythagoras theorem
    festive pop tarts
    festive vegan loaf
    food truck of joy
    gailymail
    great resources by trans + non binary writers
    greek cook book
    half-written budget xmas recipes
    handing over her platform to poc
    healthy on a bootstrap
    helping disability and mental health writers
    history of York road market
    homemade hand sanitiser
    homemade cleaning items
    huge depop or Ebay sale
    jack and coke ramen recipe
    jackfruit version of something
    James Bond conspiracy theory
    Klingon gagh recipe
    knit blanket
    kombucha whisky
    lever arch files of fan mail
    links to small businesses
    lockdown larder 2.0 resumption threatened
    lockdown list of services
    maple syrup story
    militant boiled eggs
    mince pie doughnuts
    mushroom drying ✅ completed 2018
    newspaper campaign ✅ the fucking express
    onion chopping song
    ouchy mouth recipes
    patreon update
    pistachio milk
    pointing out real plants
    postcards, postcards, postcards
    poverty memoir
    puttanesca soup
    radish recipes
    recipe roundup on Instagram
    recipes for small people
    red ephemera soup recipe
    repotting spider plants from a friend
    rooting out Amazon from website

    running around in heels with a Tall Man ✅ GQ awards 2020. no evidence of running or dancing, but Marcus is tall. she didn't even personally hand him the award.

    sausage and kale slop
    Secret Ingredient - possibly banana skin
    secret stock ingredient ✅ potato water
    setting her teenage musings to music
    sexy kitchen makeover reason
    shopping trolley
    sideboard photos reason
    sleep hygiene routine
    slow cooker bubble bath ✅ awaiting blog post
    slow cooker xmas dinner - before xmas 2021
    some kind of timetable for SB in lockdown
    super secret shopping trip hack
    supper nanny
    sweet and sour soup
    sweet potato caramel
    thrifty shades of beige
    Thursday thunder clap
    tin juice cordial recipe
    tomato soup water content - done ✅
    top tips for tinned fruit
    transcribing and blogging non binary talk
    translation of a Greek Cypriot cookbook
    unorthodox cheese sauce - done ✅
    Up To Something
    vegan char sui buns
    vegan cheese list
    vegan crackling
    vegan haggis
    vegan pastitsio in collab with veganuary Linda ✅
    vegan pie glaze
    weekly routine
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