Oooh! And she’s just mentioned singing to her plants!
Jack Monroe #333 Bootsnack crook
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Oooft. Quoting myself like a twit but every day is a school day. I didn't know that every single plant she planted today are poisonous to dogsWell, that sounds like a nice, normal productive day. Certainly the rest of the waffle about wisteria and neighbours houses, we could do without. But still, well done!
Autowanted wisteria to be listeria
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. So a normal day for Jack then. Getting everything as wrong as possible 
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Must have been singing full throttle at that lawn
She's decorating her garden with fake ivy? Um. Lovely.
If rain looks likely, simply squirt some shampoo on it and it'll come up lovely and shiny.
Tbh I didn’t know wisteria was poisonous to dogs, but I do work on the theory that everything is poisonous to dogs unless I’ve been told otherwise because so many things are poisonous to them and the silly buggers tend to find out if things are edible by eating them. Wisteria covered houses are truly the hallmark of a deprived area, they’re almost as much of a marker of deprivation as orangeries are.
"Thank you." Manners cost nothing, Jack.
By Jove, you’re right 500 
... just like being within 20m of unkempt Eucalyptus trees is a clear indicator of poverty. I can hear the money tree growing as I type!
... just like being within 20m of unkempt Eucalyptus trees is a clear indicator of poverty. I can hear the money tree growing as I type! 
It’s all just so tiresome because we know she’s going to delete all these woe is me posts at some point. She gets people all sad for her and then just magics away the evidence. It’s so thoughtless.
Puppy tip 138 - Don't bother planting anything if you've a new puppy. The little sods will spend at least the next 18 months tearing stuff out and running round the garden with it just for fun. They'll ever stare you out whilst doing it
It's been a chard days night and Jack's been working eleventy billion hours
Did she say she planted a magnolia tree in one of her previous houses?
a) Surely this would have been foolish given she was renting?
b) If she had had money worries why was she spending money on a tree that she couldn’t take with her*
* can you dig up magnolias? I thought they were temperamental. I live with moss.
a) Surely this would have been foolish given she was renting?
b) If she had had money worries why was she spending money on a tree that she couldn’t take with her*
* can you dig up magnolias? I thought they were temperamental. I live with moss.
Busy day ahead, apparently
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She really needs an option for buy a nice cake and some biscuits because all of those people have suffered enough.
Disappointed Harold has been guilt tripped into coming round. He's making the most terrible mistake.
That's goals that is (well perhaps only in the Pavlova household). Cigarette in one hand, family sized box of chocs on the bed and on the phone to Audrey going " oh I know.....I know...I know"
And laughing like a constipated hyena.
Really? Don't forget to invite the vicar
There‘s some more but this deserves it‘s own post.
I think the accountant is the one that should be saying it'll be Quite the Day. 3 years of accounts in one day, he'll need the rest of the week off to recover.
Stay strong Harold. She is not your responsibility.’
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