- Notice
Congratulations to @Rekyavikgirl for the words and @JuliaGulia for the nomination! 
Your joint prize: this monstrosity. Rufus Hound bantz optional.
Recap of last thread:
Your joint prize: this monstrosity. Rufus Hound bantz optional.Recap of last thread:
- Fack Monroe wrote a love letter to the inventor of the tin can.
- There was also a recipe for her pineapple chicken, which got all faux scientific. You had me at bromelain.
- She was off for an x-ray and all manner of scans and injections, so called for animals of every species known to man, stat.
- ‘If you know you know’ (which one of her eyes is possessed by the dark lord of Facetune this time), send your answers on a postcard.
- She made several wretched-looking desserts in a recycled Tesco Mediterranean veg selection tray. Why tho.
- She won the Diva magazine ‘Influencer of the Year’ award. And everyone applauded.
- An advertorial for her tasty Del MonteTM recipes appeared in the prestigious online publication Female First.
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[*]
Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.
There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.
New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.
[*]
Veronicaaa
VIP Member
Harrybosch
VIP Member
Quick summary: Jack used to eat sweets as a child. She liked it. The sweets were cheaper then than they are now. Not all sweets still exist.
Can we have a proper chaos now please?
Can we have a proper chaos now please?
Lisbon
Active member
Professor Slop
Active member
Not sure if anyone has spotted this yet, but there is writing in the embroidery she's done. I've tried to highlight.
I looked the phrase up and apparently it's an AA/NA thing.
P.S. from a distance the work looks fine, I feel a bit horrible saying but looking closely it won't stand up to a wash and is quite untidy.
I looked the phrase up and apparently it's an AA/NA thing.
P.S. from a distance the work looks fine, I feel a bit horrible saying but looking closely it won't stand up to a wash and is quite untidy.
Harrybosch
VIP Member
I have forensically examined the embroidery on my large screen and have come to the following conclusions:
- The same hand stitched the whole thing. The flowers look better than the soil and roots at first glance, but NOT once you zoom in on the poorly executed leaf stitch on the right.
- The hand that stitched the pocket is at beginner level. Looks fine from a distance, quite messy close up.
- The brain that dreamed up the design spent ten minutes on Pinterest looking at pocket embroidery.
- The hand and the brain in question most likely belong to Jack Monroe. Not because she says so, but because it's a fairly basic design, done shoddily, infused with teenage depth and displayed for praise and adoration.
SweetTransvestite
VIP Member
Adopting elephants? She couldn't afford a block of butter a few months back..
Who does she think she is, fucking Cher?
Who does she think she is, fucking Cher?
SweetTransvestite
VIP Member
PoorPatrol
VIP Member
“For other peoples ad revenue” how about your own revenue?? You’ve made a fortune off of pretending to be poor and ill, albeit the cash has been spunked on sideboards, but still.
No amount of ‘treatment’ will resolve her pathological lying and desperate need for attention, it seems.
Veronicaaa
VIP Member
PoorPatrol
VIP Member
She’s really pickling my beans with this faux sickness/staying in a hotel for five weeks bullshit.
IMO the whole thing is to have a break and avoid responsibilities for a while. Added bonus is more potential sympathy from her increasingly gullible followers.
Even IF, and that’s really a big if, someone has steroid injections, they just go home afterwards. Steroid injections can be really helpful for joint conditions, but she’s also breadcrumbing that it could be cancer, as steroids are often used in treatment. Unfortunately for Jack, the Jackolytes are so dense, most of them don’t even realise what she’s alluding to. You can’t have it both ways, Jackie! If you want your followers to turn a blind eye to manipulation and inconsistencies, then odds are they’ll ignore your subtle attempts at manipulating them with inconsistent stories of “treatment”.
There is quite simply no treatment that is intensive enough to go on for five straight weeks, that you don’t stay in for. You can either come in and then go all the way home to wherever you actually live, or you need to stay in. Maybe a couple of nights in a hotel if you’re really far away from home and have nobody to support you after an op, have a very busy household, nowhere to recover. If she was that unwell she’d be admitted, and also wouldn’t be embroidering all weekend. You can even get a cab from where she is now back to Southend for about £60-£70, which is much cheaper than a hotel. Has Jack stayed in that hotel all weekend despite having no treatment, ‘waiting’ for steroid injections to work??
I’ve had operations and been home ASAP to my kids, and despite feeling like shit I know they need to see me and sit on my bed and be around me - because they missed me while I was actually in hospital having actual treatment. How she’s not rushed home to be with her kid, in five whole weeks, is outrageous.
I’ve also had steroid injections many times before. I go home, relax if I can for a bit, then get on with life. They can’t have been anywhere near her hands/arms/shoulders or there wouldn’t have been the new stupid embroidery hobby.
I’m getting really fucked off with this Munchausens shit. She needs proper help, which I don’t believe has ever actually been sought out by Jack. There’s no valid reason or explanation for this fake Twitter “treatment”. This whole charade has highlighted just how deep Jack’s problems are, and these are the problems that need urgent attention.
IMO the whole thing is to have a break and avoid responsibilities for a while. Added bonus is more potential sympathy from her increasingly gullible followers.
Even IF, and that’s really a big if, someone has steroid injections, they just go home afterwards. Steroid injections can be really helpful for joint conditions, but she’s also breadcrumbing that it could be cancer, as steroids are often used in treatment. Unfortunately for Jack, the Jackolytes are so dense, most of them don’t even realise what she’s alluding to. You can’t have it both ways, Jackie! If you want your followers to turn a blind eye to manipulation and inconsistencies, then odds are they’ll ignore your subtle attempts at manipulating them with inconsistent stories of “treatment”.
There is quite simply no treatment that is intensive enough to go on for five straight weeks, that you don’t stay in for. You can either come in and then go all the way home to wherever you actually live, or you need to stay in. Maybe a couple of nights in a hotel if you’re really far away from home and have nobody to support you after an op, have a very busy household, nowhere to recover. If she was that unwell she’d be admitted, and also wouldn’t be embroidering all weekend. You can even get a cab from where she is now back to Southend for about £60-£70, which is much cheaper than a hotel. Has Jack stayed in that hotel all weekend despite having no treatment, ‘waiting’ for steroid injections to work??
I’ve had operations and been home ASAP to my kids, and despite feeling like shit I know they need to see me and sit on my bed and be around me - because they missed me while I was actually in hospital having actual treatment. How she’s not rushed home to be with her kid, in five whole weeks, is outrageous.
I’ve also had steroid injections many times before. I go home, relax if I can for a bit, then get on with life. They can’t have been anywhere near her hands/arms/shoulders or there wouldn’t have been the new stupid embroidery hobby.
I’m getting really fucked off with this Munchausens shit. She needs proper help, which I don’t believe has ever actually been sought out by Jack. There’s no valid reason or explanation for this fake Twitter “treatment”. This whole charade has highlighted just how deep Jack’s problems are, and these are the problems that need urgent attention.
heretoreaditall2019
VIP Member
A quick post but 
Patreon drop
334 to 321, down 13 or 3.9%. When baby’s down tonight I’ll do our QBR, get glam for a night of line of duty, deep fried memories, and some #forensic analysis x
Patreon drop
334 to 321, down 13 or 3.9%. When baby’s down tonight I’ll do our QBR, get glam for a night of line of duty, deep fried memories, and some #forensic analysis x
Veronicaaa
VIP Member
Remember, it's not an airport Jack. You don't need to announce your departure.
Rekyavikgirl
VIP Member
Blimey, if I shared mine with everyone who has been in my vagina, there'll be none left for me
DisgruntledGoat
VIP Member
Fuck off with your bullies. Close your Patreon and your PayPal begging jar, stop lying about being in poverty, and I (and I suspect many others) will literally forget you exist, you con merchant.
No grifting = blissful peace.
p.s. you are indeed a twat.
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
We wanted another series of Daily Kitchen Live 
Sadly, it never happened. And Matt never mentioned it again. And Cactus TV have wiped all reference of it from their website.
Sadly, it never happened. And Matt never mentioned it again. And Cactus TV have wiped all reference of it from their website.