Don't have any money but tit, if Monroe being on Masterchef isn't worth a lifetime of crippling mortgage payments to a bank - nothing is. I'll front the crappy swimming pool extension...
Jack Monroe #185 Serves zero
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I believe Jack's cooking skills are on a par with Ria's from BBC Butterflies. In Ria's defence at least she recognised she couldn't cook. Here's a clip, Ria's rant from 1min 10
O
I would die of joy if she went on Masterchef. Let’s club together
She literally was one of those, although despite apparently being good enough for judges houses, we’ve never seen the footage. Just have to rewatch her singing Landslide
Look at the price per night. Somebody is paying for that. Either the resident, who is therefore clearly minted and has been all along, so has scammed their substantial income from well meaning people, or somebody else who works damn hard and is good at their job is being rinsed of their hard earned money. In addition, somebody is picking up the responsibility for child, cat and rabbit (and presumably dealing with any emotional fallout from such a prolonged absence). Other people are caring for the child's wellbeing at school and not earning a fraction of what it is costing for JM to take happy selfies in new clothes and in luxury accommodation.
Does somebody who is quite obviously tit at their 'job' actually deserve to take income away from others who are actually good at it? When they clearly don't appreciate it, neither want nor need it for anything else but because it pays pretty bleeping brilliantly?
JM could have done many things. But through deliberate actions, comments and choices, everything over the last year has been half arsed, fucked up before it's even started or just generally tit. Not because of anybody else. It wasn't the poor bloody deformed kitten's fault they were paraded around to garner donations and likes when it should have been put out of its misery at the first vet appointment. It wasn't the schools' or the Head Teachers' fault that they were accused of being Nazis and abusers. It certainly wasn't MR's fault that this middle class white person decided to use African American Vernacular English to order him around and alternated this with simpering pats to the head like he was a dog or particularly dense six year old. Nobody else made JM send nasty threatening letters to people who used to be friends or knew the landlady (I BET that's what happened there). And it's nobody fault but JM's if the last year has seen abuse of amphetamines/ADHD medication, nighttime buttock purchases of items weighing 1g or consumption of alcohol which inherently makes JM unreliable, untrustworthy and, absolutely honestly, a risk to all around, adult, child or animal, as well as themselves. If being the operative word there.
I have no sympathy. None whatsoever. You sow the seeds of your own misfortune. Now reap the results (or in this case, wail about how it's not your fault/the ninnies/the poverty/the drink/the medication/the moon made you do it and get yourself some exclusive accommodation and private medicine/treatment out of them before going in for the next draining of their bank balance, heart and soul).
I remember the look of sheer horror on Monica's face when none of the chefs ( the professionals) could de bone a bird id pay big money too see that look of horror again when she see them cooking anything.O
I would die of joy if she went on Masterchef. Let’s club together
She literally was one of those, although despite apparently being good enough for judges houses, we’ve never seen the footage. Just have to rewatch her singing Landslide
Monica and Jack would be amazingI remember the look of sheer horror on Monica's face when none of the chefs ( the professionals) could de bone a bird id pay big money too see that look of horror again when she see them cooking anything.
I bet that clip would finally send Jack viral!
The legs akimbo shot is back on Twitter
EDIT
Marmalade got there first!
EDIT
Marmalade got there first!
What IS that - are we back on teeth?
Why would we do that to lovely Monica? She’s so nice too I’m not sure she would cope with how mean she would want to be.I remember the look of sheer horror on Monica's face when none of the chefs ( the professionals) could de bone a bird id pay big money too see that look of horror again when she see them cooking anything.
I'm pretty sure Monica would need a week off to get over it.Monica and Jack would be amazing
Re-edited to move the black dot and take out more of the crow's feet. Must have been the first attempt that was posted in error.
Make it make sense!!!
Hi Jack, good to see you taking on feedback and reposting the pic with cabal suggestions!
WTF is wrong with your eyes tho?!
And here we all were thinking she’d deleted it because she’d realised the pics were so distinctive 
. Nope, of course (not) fixing your eye and removing some wrinkles is the priority.
. Nope, of course (not) fixing your eye and removing some wrinkles is the priority.There’s clearly a straight line separating the glossy black pupil and the ghost eye in the corner... I don’t understand how she’s managed it!
There is def another eye/pupil in the darkness. It's freaky. Maybe she is a witch like Willow and we better simmer down like some fried salad before she skins us with her mind majiks!!!
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