New baby and post birth advice #2

[moimoi]

I forgot to mention, yesterday when I was in the park on another mum date, my boy started getting whingey so I had to feed him. I was sat on a park bench with tits out (who am I?! ) and an elderly woman passed in her wheelchair shouting 'WELL DONE FEEDING YOUR BABY! IT'S GREAT TO SEE! IT WILL GET EASIER!' ...so I guess that was nice?!

 

[Hairraiser]

So I went for my GP appointment to talk about my PTSD & possible PND. From the minute I walked in she was rude & dismissive. I poured my heart out but was told that everything that happened to me was ‘standard birth’
If you can call having an emergency C-section at 35 weeks, under general anaesthesia, a post partum heammorhage losing nearly a litre of blood, a 2 day hospital stay in intensive care having blood transfusions, hadn’t met my baby for his first 48 hours, & went on to have further complications due to negligence from my consultant during the two lots of surgery I had, ‘standard’ then ok, perhaps I’m being irrational.
I’ve been referred to well-being and expect a 12 week wait, she will also write to my consultant who made the cock ups during surgery to see if I can be referred quicker.
tbh I’ve come away feeling worse, and that how I feel is completely irrelevant! She kept emphasising that my baby is fine & not spending weeks on end in NICU. I get that, of course I’m grateful but I’m reaching out cause I’m suffering now, it’s hit me really hard, I want some professional help cause I’m constantly fighting with my mind every single day!
Oh and to top things off, she also said ‘don’t let this put you off having another baby’ I replied ‘this baby was conceived by IVF, and it took a Long time to get to this point’ she replied with the usual ‘it could happen naturally for you, you never know’
Is that unprofessional or is it just me? had she read my notes she would of seen that I’m infertile, Fallopian tubes blocked, PCOS, & riddled with endometriosis!
I cried the whole way home & struggling to get out of this bad mood she’s put me in!
I was few mins late, which I apologised for but I feel like maybe that was what annoyed her, and it was a bad start.

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Today is the first day I've found that's nearly broke me, been in tears all night because baby just won't stop crying and I can't work out why, it's like she's in pain but even when she burps, farts or goes to the toilet it doesn't soothe her
My partner has taken his son to the cinema so I've been on my own and it's making me worry about how I'm going to cope when he goes back to work next week (he works 12 hour shifts aswell), not exactly sure of the point of this post but I just feel so helpless

 

[Hbirdette]

I had hiccups this afternoon and my baby laughed for the first time he was in hysterics. I wish everyone else found me this funny

 

[CrimeJunkie]

Also graduating from the pregnancy thread! My birth story:

Baby girl arrived at 40+5 weighing 7lbs 14oz (after being told she would be over 10lbs according to growth scans!)

Not going to sugar coat it but my labour was terrible. Had to be induced and pessary made me hyper stimulate (who knew you could contract too much?!) so they took it out. Was put on the hormone drip the next day and within 3 hours my contractions were every 2-3 minutes but I was only 3cm dilated. Had an epidural after 5 hours of non stop contracting because I just couldn’t cope with the pain and lack of time in between the contractions to recover. Having an epidural was the decision I ever made. Dilated from 4cm to 10cm in 4 hours but after an hour pushing didn’t get anywhere despite her head being so low I could actually touch it with my fingers! Doctor came in and said we had to go to theatre for emergency forceps as she was back to back, by this point the epidural had worn off and I was in absolute agony. Turned out baby wasn’t back to back but was in distress so glad that I went to theatre.

Although it was traumatic, the theatre experience was amazing and the staff were so lovely. Ended up with a third degree tear and a lot of blood loss but baby girl is here safe and sound and that’s all that matters!

 

[Disneylifeonly]

Weve started getting photos back from our newborn shoot and I'm in love

 

[Disneylifeonly]

Hello all
Gave birth to my first baby last Thursday
He is absolutely perfect but I am struggling mentally, I don't know if its baby blues or my general anxiety
I feel like I'm constantly staring at my baby worrying something will happen
I am constantly checking the breathing monitor we have for him. I'm googling things constantly. I cried today because my partner thought our baby had a problem breathing- he just slightly choked on his saliva - but now I'm shaking and back to just googling things and staring at him
I'm so frightened of finally being happy in life and finally having mt perfect baby that somethings going to take it away

 

[moimoi]

Am I right to be offended, literally no sets of grandparents have seen my baby who’s nearly 3 months! Granted we live 2-3 hours by train/5-hours by car away but literally no one has made an effort. I couldn’t be bothered with visitors in the first couple of weeks due to establishing breastfeeding and recovering from csection & traumatic birth. I told my parents they can come down whenever, no response. My partner’s dad is coming down to Watford (we’re in south London) next week for work for a few days but says driving an hour after work to see his grandson wouldn’t work??? And he’ll arrange something in September, yeah right!

It’s totally their loss but I’m upset that no one really gives a shit.

I just need to have a follow up rant!

I asked my mum if she had been looking at hotels to meet her now 3 month grandson, she said ‘just a quick look, not properly’ She then said train prices are too expensive, even though they’ve spent £500 on Thorpe Park next week which again is an hour away! I said ‘can you not drive here’ but she says they’re gonna see what the drive to Thorpe Park is like first. She and my stepdad have the whole week off so could easily come a day before.

I’m just really upset, it’s been 3 months and we both nearly died during birth so you’d think they’d make bit of an effort! But it’s nice to know that Thorpe Park is a bigger priority.

It’s just made me totally reevaluate everything - like fuck am I gonna go out of my way like I always did for Christmas, birthday, general visits, etc. I’m also gonna go on photo strike and not send them anything when they ask, if they want to see him they can visit.

It probably shouldn’t come as a surprise though as she did say she was disappointed when I told her I was pregnant!

And don’t get me started on my partner’s side that have shown even less interest.

From now on, it’s just me and my little family.

 

[Hbirdette]

I think our time may be limited in the snuzpod

 

[Hairraiser]

WARNING; talk of traumatic & distressing birth


A few of you are aware of my situation on here &
I finally received my report from the serious incident following my traumatic birth.

Was a tough read, it took me 2 hours to read it. I kind of feel none the wiser cause a lot of it is medical abbreviations. I know a few from working within the NHS but a lot of them I had to google. Think I might read it again to make more sense of it
I think reading before bed was a bad idea too

It was the worst feeling ever having to relive everything from start to finish!
I was unaware that I’d lost 2.3litres of blood, it says in my maternity notes that id lost 750ml so that was a shock! Also between knife to skin & baby being born was 2 minutes!!!
He didn’t start breathing for a whole 12 minutes, all while I was under anaesthetic.
i can’t really get my head around it all tbh, it was heartbreaking to read that I came close to death twice, and they battled to save my baby for that long!

 

[moimoi]

Went to a mother and baby group today, well mother and 0-5 group because of the summer holidays and fuck me, it was the worst thing ever. I was the only person there with an actual baby, everyone else had toddlers. It was absolute chaos and so noisy, my baby kept jumping. At one point, I was playing with my baby on the floor and a random child just sat on my lap to play with a toy. They all came over as well to look at the baby but I was so scared one of them was gonna throw a toy at him.


I felt rude but left after half hour, and a really nice lady who works there noticed and followed me out asking if I was leaving, she signed me up to a group with more babies next week.

But if that was my first experience at a group I’d have been put off for life! And as boring as newborns are, I don’t want my little baby to become a toddler now.

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Yaaay i can now be on this thread as a new mum! my wee girl arrived on Saturday after a pretty quick labour and delivery, she's just perfect, although quite mucosy and quite sick (reflux?!) After feeding midwife supposed to be coming today...helpful when they don't give you a time though isn't it
Also does anyone have any remedies for chapped bleeding nipples? Nipple cream doesn't touch them, they got so bad yesterday I had to start pumping but the wee break has made it a bit more bearable today.
She's got tongue tie but because she can still latch they won't do much apparently!

 

[Hellofromtheotherside]

Been admitted back into hospital, baby girl is throwing up and it's bright green and yellow they want to keep her in and scan her belly

 

[Disneylifeonly]

Morning all, thank you for all the love and advice last night
I've had a chat with my partners sister in law and my partner has been on phone with his brother..his sister in law was apparently a nervous wreck for months after their first, so its nice to know I'm not alone. I feel better today, my partner took over the night feed and made me go back to sleep after baby woke at 530. I think all the hormones mixed with lack of sleep took a massive number on me.

 

[Definitelyme]

Just thought I'd also add that my 3 year old is still like this
Even when her Dad is the shouty one
But I'm the one that does everything for them when their dad works. So he gets all the fun, smiles and "I want daddy"

And “daddy is so funny!” Yes it’s easy to be Mr Fun when you only have to put up with their shit for 3 hours a day instead of 24

 

[Hbirdette]

It’s so bizarre how interested strangers are in other people’s family planning. I’m quite sure my husband wouldn’t ever have been asked those questions, but I had them all, especially when I only had 1. I even remember the midwife on the ward with no1 saying to me “we’ll see you again in two years, will we?” I had literally popped one out and she was asking when I was having another?!

I actually had someone at work asking when I was going to have babies.... (a male btw) and we had been trying for just under 18 months at this point so I felt a bit sensitive. My response was “why are you so interested in my sex life” that shut him up. I’m very blunt when I want to be

 

[Disneylifeonly]

Cannot believe that baby Thomas slept from 1030 until 530 last night im actually shocked

 

[Hellofromtheotherside]

Been to the park with the children and met a delightful woman who said Im going to struggle with the age gap cheers then!!

 

[Definitelyme]

bloody hell you lot are keen! I’ve told my husband we have all our babies, I have no need for that sort of business anymore

 

[Chickenandgravy]

The only positive of last night's cluster feeding was she slept for longer....so guess who got a full 5 unbroken hours