LornaLuxe #3 Lady of the manor in a two bed flat

[Jasmine]

Some of you may think I must be bitter. I'm not, I'm actually very happy, I just love this thread... I also follow others too. I wish I could be as witty as some of you though, stay safe, I work as a carer so please keep in touch with those you can't see especially the elderly and those family or friends who have dementia. They don't understand why you don't visit. I'm sure you all do anyway xx

 

[Jasmine]

Eating weetabix out of a mug !! And yet again she LIED saying her her tannining isn’t up to scratch during lockdown .. SERIOUSLY it’s ALWAYS bloody streaky on your hands and feet !!
The vanity of this vile person is beyond me ..

Those mugs are from my marriage to John, all those years ago lol

 

[Hereforthepictures]

Jasmine, how much chicken salad did you eat in your tenure as his wife?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I bloody hope not because I stalk my ex on my other account

I work in data & I can promise you that no such thing exists. Such an app would have to use an API (a relatively public facing access point for you to scrape data orrrr create functional programs eg a Twitter bot), Insta’s API is enterprise only so they’d have to pay, also as a dev you provide reasons for access and there’s no way such a product would be approved even if the data WAS in the API. Which brings me to my next point -there is no fucking way on God’s earth they’d ever put any personally identifiable info (PII) into an API accessible to third parties - you could at MOST get your own account’s if you generated your own access keys / tokens through it, but never anyone else’s. Eg on Twitter I can access my own account features through the API so could create a bot that responds to use of a hashtag, but I couldn’t log into LL’s using that same API as I don’t have the right keys for it as that would be INSANE? The fact she’s saying this just shows how thick she is.

I was working on an Instagram bot using their public facing meta data (not an API) and can show you ladies what you can access if it’s any consolation. It’s absolutely minimal, you can’t even get absolute follower count (eg 1,234,567 you can only get 1.2m). This shit wouldn’t exist in any site’s data layer.

I nearly wrote a boring GDPR piece on her claim she had an inside connect at insta sharing this info. Even in data teams access to PII is super limited to only the most senior and at that point you’re a decade+ into your career so wouldn’t be risking it. Every query I run at work can be traced back to me. Every workplace has different rules but you should expect to be called up on any query you’ve ever run and be able to explain why you did so. GDPR legislation outlines the fines your company & *you personally* are liable to pay for breaches which sharing account holder info with friends for lols would be. You’d never work again, you just would never ever ever risk it.

Also from a police point of view - my husband’s a semi known person in a (small - not football ) sport. We’ve had it all in terms of online abuse, we had something horrific uploaded to YouTube and police got involved. We never got anywhere with IDing them much less legal stuff because even the police don’t have ins with social networks...

Sorry for rant xo

 

[Peepers]

Lots of people saying ‘to say how much money she has’.... but I think it’s really apparent she doesn’t? Most men have retired at his age, remember he’s a Grandads age, and he’s still working full time and all they have to show for themselves is a 300k tiny 2 bed flat with a shared gardens. Her kitchen is the same size as my en-suite to put things into perspective??? Ever wondered why NO ONE has ever seen her kitchen??? Also, all that wood in her bedroom and that nasty wooden draw she props that old school tv on? Her flat aside, her ring is just a big rock of crap. There’s more quality in that rock stuck between those tacky LV shoes she was selling So really, a few bags and shoes here and there when they both work full time, that she always ends up flogging down the line to recoup her money.... honestly. She’s just a whole lot of smoke and dusty mirrors.

 

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

So much acrylic it makes you itch,
Disagree with Lorna & you’ll see her inner bitch

( can replace bitch with witch if bitch is too close to swearing)

Acrylic Nappy sales have gone through the roof, thanks to LornaLuxe and her colossal camel hoof.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

her stories... she’s ordered some joggers from PLT, a “spenny” £25 white T-shirt from other stories, and some new balance trainers. 3 separate orders & however many people involved in picking / packing / shipping / delivering one flammable lewk?

I’m pregnant and obviously expanding significantly under quarantine and I’m not ordering any maternity clothes (nor anything for the baby) because if I’m ruthlessly honest with myself, I have things I can make work & the baby isn’t due for 3 months so I can hold off until the very end - so I’m not complicit in endangering key workers and their families?!

How can she justify this on ANY level??

 

[Gloria17]

This has pissed me off so much that I’m posting for the first time (long time lurker!) - that girl didn’t @ Lorna’s twitter account and there are no replies mentioning her so she is either searching her own name on twitter which is PATHETIC or someone sent it to her. Then she goes out of her way to find this girls insta and tags her in her story??? She has a MILLION followers! It’s actually so petty and vindictive, what an embarrassment of a woman.

 

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

Crying.
The text she’s written just makes the whole picture even funnier! OMG.

 

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

<Lorna Lockdown Bingo>

*Orders / needs entirely unnecessary items.
*Applies “very natural” 4 inch thick make up in colour that doesn’t match skin
* Draws on fucking INSANE eyebrows that quite frankly should be ashamed of themselves.
* Reveals shocking fake tan
* Wears acrylic highly flammable adult nappy/outfit .
* Doesn't wear bra
*Marvels at her own filtered beauty and how fabulous today’s primer is.
*Posts picture of random dining room
*Adds Minnie Riperton to Instagram story
*Poses with stupid leg
*Eeya, Happy “ what day is it”..
* Promises another giveaway to lure in more fans.

Full house by lunch I reckon.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

OAP’s got Stress !!! Any fucking wonder

Probably just got this month’s barclaycard bill through the post...

 

[boobylou]

Did anyone else find it wierd that on their wedding, he had snuck off with one of her friends and broke into the gym together. What’s going on there???

 

[Hereforthepictures]

I’d say it has to be watching you do the same makeup for two hours every single day for about 4 weeks

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

She didn’t appreciate my honesty Is it possible to track down another Instagram account?

I bloody hope not because I stalk my ex on my other account

 

[Stress Ball]

Du know I was just watching her make up stories yesterday so I could come here and snark and I just felt overwhelmingly sad for her. I know she appears to have it all but does she really? She is sitting on the floor of a lifeless cold empty flat doing her make up repeatedly. Theres no warmth or love I can pick up on. She thinks her life is something to show off about but I wouldn't want to trade. I truly feel sorry for her.

 

[Jasmine]

I remember when Mr. Luxe and I divorced, we had this heart to heart chat.. He said, "If you were dramatic and difficult and demanding then it may have worked" what a dick...

 

[Hej]

I didnt watch her story yesterday, needed a day off from her stupidity. BUT, now I watched both the ones from yesterday and today, and ITS THE SAME THING. I know we are all aware of that, but it became so clear to me now. Same makeup, same smelly bathrobe, same bull**** speech.... And now I’m just waiting for the same kind of outfit (“ordered it a couple of days ago so I can wear around the house while drinking rosè while John is cooking, ever so comfy, not too spenny”).... And ofc her poopie-poses. I can’t Can we all just unfollow her? At once? We can still see her stories

 

[Pingping]

Where’s your jaw off to twatface?

 

[Peepers]

Like what the actual hell is this interior? Who, this century, would allow their bedroom to look like that? Lorna, Henry 8th has called, he wants his chamber back....

 

[Ohmydays]

To be fair thats how you are supposed to apply eye cream, so not to damage or drag the delicate eye area, but she still looked an absolute fruit loop doing it!!

I think it’s her nails that make the tapping look awkward ..

So
the OAP doesn’t feel well ..
And
She is surprised she can’t get a doctors appointment !!!!
BUT
She still lets him make lunch !