LornaLuxe #3 Lady of the manor in a two bed flat

[Jasmine]

Well, have we all got a glass of something? If so I'll begin..

 

[Its_Me]

She gets paid a small % of what the item is worth rather than a flat fee. So she’d get paid 16pence for a £16 pair of joggers say, but maybe £2.00 for a £200 dress. So it’s in her best interest to promote a blend of items tbh, but then again if her audience doesn’t have the appetite for £200 dresses 0 conversions = £0.00 which may also be why she promotes the cheap gear. I’m not a luxury bag buyer so I can’t comment but I can’t imagine women that love bags are following her to see her latest acquisition? You could probably sit outside a cafe down Brentwood highstreet and see similar, no?



Yeppp. And she always eludes to him working in IB, my husband has actually worked in IB for nearly two decades (in London not a remote support office like OAP - who is likely in an IT or client support role which will pay alright for Horsham obvs but not a traditional IB salary) and I can assure you that our spending looks absolutely nothing like theirs. I’d actually be worried if my husband bought two pairs of MBs out the blue as it’s indicative of quite manic behaviour IMO?

Some women aren’t financially savvy though so maybe she doesn’t think about the shoes likely costing more than this month’s mortgage payment, but I’d be cringing thinking about all the tat I forget I even have probably equating to reducing my mortgage term by a year+? Not that we’re a prisoner to our mortgage or frugally living but we are adults who are responsible/accountable...

Sorry to sound braggy but I’m quite sure my partner is worth a lot more than Mr Luxe and I don’t know what Lorna earns exactly but I have a good income from my business and lucky enough I don’t have many outgoings as my partner pays a big portion of our rent and bills etc (can I just add that we are the same age and our relationship looks nothing like theirs!!!) and our spending on just stuff doesn’t look like that at all because we spend on making memories and saving for a future, you know like kids and all the normal stuff that us folk have to look forward to. Yup got a few nice handbags and high value items but all definitely investment/classic pieces as Lorna claims hers are and my wardrobes don’t look like a jumble sale of shit I’ve bought on a whim and never felt the need to sell anything on to make room for more or because I’ve pushed it the back of the closet and forgot about it.

MR L is the same age as my father who has a wife he’s supported and 3 grown children who he’s seen through life to adulthood: In comparison of course he has money to spend on shoes because he’s had no real responsibility for 60 years!

We have all mentioned before that they don’t go on any real luxury holidays, most of their trips are sponsored. They go to the same bloody restaurant all the time most probably because they get free stuff. The Bentley is prob worth no more than £25k and I doubt paid for outright.

Her hair and her teeth are horrible, why doesnt she fix them? Or go to a proper salon and get her nails done?

its sad and weird, she’s happy sat in her wood panel 2 bed flat surrounded by stuff playing make believe. The more stuff she’s got the happier she is.

 

[FrannyGallops]

I started watching her stories thanks to this thread as I needed something to fill the hours due to lockdown but fuck me, she is one of the most boring twats on IG. I don’t know what she was like before lockdown but it’s the same shit every day. The only reason I know she isn’t recycling the same stories over and over is because of ‘eeyaaaa. Happy *whatever fucking day it is*’. And the acrylic ‘co-ord’ adult baby sets. Jesus Christ. Is this supposed to be an aspirational lifestyle? I thought my quarantine lifestyle was shit, but I’d rather stick a fork in my eye than have to watch her put the same ‘dewy and youthful’ makeup on for the 19th day running. And what’s that pose she does in the mirror? She looks like she’s pissed herself. She’s not even interesting enough to be a hate watch.

 

[Jasmine]

So, because I'm a boring non money grabbing person, Mr Luxe didn't like it. He wanted to buy me a sports merc when we were married. I told him I don't need one and a Ford ka was enough for me. He spent £7000 on a cow hide sofa which I said was a waste of money and very uncomfortable. He bought a £700 coffee machine, again madness. I couldn't live with the whole image thing. I'm a very comfy cosy person, don't want it to be about image. I'm very down to earth. I think in the end I wasn't the princess he wanted me to be...

 

[Rogue1]

This made me laugh! So Lady Luxe

This made me laugh! So Lady Luxe

“Would you like to see my makeup today” No, No No NO THE FUCK NOOOOOOO!!

 

[Jasmine]

I’ve just come on to mention her little haul that she ‘found’! It’s disgusting that these bloody witches get all this stuff thrown at them. Most of them are so ungrateful, I’d be dancing around the house if I got gifted something.

Why didn't she donate it to the NHS who could do with moisturising their damaged faces from wearing PPE all day every day. She obviously hasn't missed these products, she didn't even know she had them!!!

 

[ELT1506]

I feel like her stories are actually pointless.
Every day roll out of bed, same hair ruffle, chat about sleeping in, going to bed late from answering DM’s, chat about how thick her hair is, chat about moisturiser, chat about ‘glowy’ skin, rodial, by terry, nars balm, pull dressing gown open, pout face from side to side, spritz with spray, virgin crew story thrown in, lounge sets, secret giveaway that she’s excited about, explanation of what she’s going to ‘try and do today’, 45000 selfies of finished face with list of products, selfie in mirror of nappy lounge set or outfit, lunch, some more selfies, rose, then in the evening 9 grid photos pulled from pinterest and tumblr. It’s like a washing machine cycle that drives me insane but I can’t look away!!
I wonder if she managed to send off the secret beauty giveaway to the follower that was going to ‘try to do by 4’ seens as she’s in her robe in the afternoon .

Also why does she not say ‘such and such i hope you like what I’ve picked for you’ rather than ‘i hope she likes what I’ve picked’, if the person is a follower (and must be because how else would they win) then they will be watching so address them directly? It’s weird

 

[Purpledahlia]

Reading to one of my kids.. Lorna is haunting me

 

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

Your posts kill me

@Purpledahlia
@Its_Me
@Ohmydays

yay thanks ! I think ;-)
I guess these lockdown times have given us all a bit more time to really let loose with our feelings.

Speaking of which I even ranted at Net a porter today. Did anyone get that survey email they sent out? Asking questions about where we see the future of high end fashion given covid 19, and what/how/have our priorities changed ?
Well, funny you should ask Net a Porter!
I have thoughts I am more than willing to share!
Told them that I won’t be buying from brands that deal with the likes of Lorna luxe, simply for her to perv over her own reflection in gifted items that she filters the arse out of.

 

[Littlemisadoughnut]

I don't understand her brand at all. Calls herself luxe, but everything she does and wears is so basic and budget.

 

[Vicki2221]

She is dyeing her hair in her bedroom on the carpet!! This proves her bathroom must be a total let down, any sane person would dye their hair in a bathroom! It is absurd to do it on your bedroom floor!

 

[Its_Me]

All of that gifted shite from Philip Kingsley.. 4 drops of this and 3 drops of that stop wearing those synthetic, tatty, shite hair extensions and you’d probably not need to swindle a deal from them! I normally use the elasticiser on my hair but no way will I buy it again for them “gifting” her. Poor advert for them imo

Feel the same you know. I was interested in trying the By Terry foundation and the Rodial Banana powder because everyone is raving about both but I think I will give them a swerve. And coz I’m petty AF I would rather pay full price if I did get them than use her codes!

 

[Ohmydays]

I really shouldn’t look at her #lockdown shite
..today
I’ve donated to Captain Tom..

Cut my OAP neighbours grass and bought his essentials .. cornflakes, milk, eggs, bread , potatoes pork chop , cod fillet , marmalade and whiskey ... left them on the doorstep . He went to give me cash I said .. can’t use that at the moment ?????? But I’m keeping a tab .. waved receipts in the air .. obviously I’m not .. and iIll buy his shopping weekly until this shite is over .. will prob have lost the receipts by then .. obvs
I also
Walked my dog.
Cleaned my HOUSE
Partner and I are now drinking beer and rowing about what to watch on tv !!
THIS IS REAL LIFE LORNA LUXE .. it’s a much better one than the one you’re living .. I trust I’m not alone saying this . I’m really fukking angry with LL and the other Fukkin greedy instablaggers

I really shouldn’t look at her #lockdown shite
..today
I’ve donated to Captain Tom..

Cut my OAP neighbours grass and bought his essentials .. cornflakes, milk, eggs, bread , potatoes pork chop , cod fillet , marmalade and whiskey ... left them on the doorstep . He went to give me cash I said .. can’t use that at the moment ?????? But I’m keeping a tab .. waved receipts in the air .. obviously I’m not .. and iIll buy his shopping weekly until this shite is over .. will prob have lost the receipts by then .. obvs
I also
Walked my dog.
Cleaned my HOUSE
Partner and I are now drinking beer and rowing about what to watch on tv !!
THIS IS REAL LIFE LORNA LUXE .. it’s a much better one than the one you’re living .. I trust I’m not alone saying this . I’m really fukking angry with LL and the other Fukkin greedy instablaggers

I was so cross I didn’t explain my self .... This was my day @Ohmydays not that Fukkin selfish greedy airhead LL

 

[Just watching it all]

I think it’s her nails that make the tapping look awkward ..

So
the OAP doesn’t feel well ..
And
She is surprised she can’t get a doctors appointment !!!!
BUT
She still lets him make lunch !

He's prob got the 'rona as she's made him go out every day when let's face it he's in the 'vulnerable age group'

 

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

When she swirls her brushes in powder and then taps the excess off... where is it going?! The carpet??!!

mr Luxe is probably holding the camera for his princess and catches the bronzer residue in his mouth. He is there to serve, after all.

 

[Hereforthepictures]

This “no makeup makeup” look is... just the same as every fucking day. It’s been over three weeks. Please god make it stop as I can’t look away.

 

[Hej]

She didn’t appreciate my honesty Is it possible to track down another Instagram account?

 

[Its_Me]

She’s literally just sat there and spoken about sitting out the sun, used those peel wipes then started putting on make up without SPF

 

[Agsfam]

She looks like she’s been let out of mental institution... wt-actual-F???

I thought exactly the same thing ..!! Vile ...greedy greedy greedy


She’s Pissed me right off this morning ...she’s so friggin smug about it all too ... Oh and the comments the her hairline FFS !!!

I’d love to see how many followers she’s gained with these giveaways !!! Who’s the person on here that can give us the numbers again please ..

Who TF puts box of expensive cosmetics in the cellar and forgets about it?? I wish Charlotte T would see this - such a waste!! And how many of those products will be out of date anyway???

dont get me started about her hairline... “feels thicker every morning” wtf??? You have to be proper uneducated or plainly stupid.. Bitch you realise supplements take 3 months to start showing effects?? Any type of scalp masks / treatments also takes months??? Its like she is from another planet... or maybe she believes her followers are that stupid?!
lorna your hair looks shite - exact look of what I pull out of the bath tube hole
Some lies wont become truth even if you say them 100 times!! What a train crash she is...

 

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

I really feel this is the time it could be all over for the really talentless influencers. The ones who are defined simply by shopping and having “luxury items” have lost their place in the current climate and they are flailing trying to keep up their numbers by creating all sorts of crap content.

(Or in Lorna’s case.. still buying and just spending more time slapping shit on her face gazing at herself, but she’s okay as she’s just donated other peoples money to her brother in laws charity). If she had a decent kitchen to knock up some luxe snacks she sure as hell would be doing that by now.

Going back to posts from earlier today- the faux wealth is really quite shameful. I guess we don’t know how much OAP brought to the financial party - maybe he has family money? Maybe they don’t have a mortgage in which case he should have a significant stash monthly to spend on his princesses’ every whim. The fact she’s so evidently addicted to and impressed by wealth/expensive items indicates to me that wealth/affluence wasn’t her norm prior to John.
TRULY wealthy people don’t need to be defined by it.

like someone said earlier...for a man of his age it’s not such a substantial portfolio!

I had a house of that value when i was 28..
I worked hard though, have a career, raise children on my own ( for the last 7 years) and do voluntary work for 2 charities twice a week. But obvs this doesn’t compare to workaholic Lorna who works so hard she needs frequent day sleeps.


Next thread title

“Money shouts, wealth whispers”