Zanna van Dijk #16 Her teeth sure do glow, won’t mention the war unless her engagement is low

[stardust21]

Time stamp: 5:23am

Hey guys! Zannnnnnna here again!

It’s been a whole three months since I’ve updated here and as you’ve probably seen, a LOT has happened in the world.

The most important thing is of course that me and my Dad finally got to go on our DREAM HoLIDaY I know I go on holiday literally every weekend, but this was different guys. This one gave me DREAM insta content of cute animals and my long body in the same shot. Perfect! *cheff kiss* I even managed to claim costs back by getting my Dad to take photos of me in Stay Wealthy Swim so it was actually a work trip!

Oh I’ve just realised I’ve gone about 100 words without mentioning it, but FYI I’m SUPER tall. And not at all hung up about that.

Oh. My. GOD! you guys I can’t tell you just how incredible it was. I’m so glad that I got to go and show off to you guys just how: a) rich I am b) annoying I am c) tall I am and d) privileged I am that I can ignore a literal war in Europe that’s displaced over 2 million people and counting while seeing my fave shark hahaha.


Back to my virtue signalling: It’s actually quite annoying. I came home full of beans because I’ve been having a rest from exercise (it only counts if you’re in a gym gals!) and everyones upset with me. Just because I haven’t mentioned how distressing it is that childrens hospitals are getting bombed.

I did use my platform to help someone though as I’m such a humble person. I raised money for a middle aged white man who can afford a spenny £10K holiday plus all the diving trips before that to do this holiday who idiotically decided he was invincible and didn’t need to buy £7 holiday insurance. I don’t get it. I thought everyone only helped people they knew rather than trying to better the world in general :S Not sure why everyone is so mad at me, he’s 60 yet still not actually dead in a retirement home! He deserves our recognition.

I am providing a wholesome service for my loyal followers. I’m a safe space to avoid anything mildly upsetting happening in the world because by watching my stories you can see how having money gives you the privilege to not worry about silly things like nuclear war and a major cost of living crisis.

Plus as you know I was on an A.MAZ.INGGGG holiday and tbh I didn’t want the news to get in the way of my bloomin’ incredible content for you guys! Telling you how to help the people who’ve lost their whole worlds would have spoiled the vibe I was going for. It’s not perfect dream holiday vibes now is it?

And you shouldn’t be coming to me for news anyway as I know nothing about Ukraine or Russia.

Anyway now I’ve shared a donation link you all saw two weeks ago, here’s an ad about Crypto currency that I also know absolutely nothing about. It’s okay to post this to you guys though, and give my opinion because I’m getting paid to do it. And that’s really all I care about

*jumps into a new outfit* I’m so tall!! And quirky!

So anyway this has taken me about ten minutes to write so that’s my whole work day done! I need to spend the rest of the day eating brunch at a London cafe, catching up with someone who has a load of followers as I’m only “friends” with people who can give me something in return. I might also give some thought to the fact I don’t want children and how I can monetise that. If you have any ideas let me know!

Plus these holidays aren’t going to book themselves are they?! Tall Gal Checking Out!

Credit to @thatdeafcow for the title!

 

[molemk]

This made me laugh

 

[LittleBluebird]

Zanna van Dijk #17: critically low iron levels, critically short boyfriend, critically dim.

 

[RobinsNest]

Someone I follow on IG and sometimes chat in DMs, not an influencer, just an ordinary guy in my area, started going to the gym not so long ago and keeps posting on Stories about lengths of his workouts, and how many calories he's burnt etc, and quite frankly I find it a bit triggering. I'm not in the right mind space to take up proper exercise but I cycle to work and go for walks with friends etc but you know when you just feel like you're not doing enough? Anyway, I've muted his stories so I don't get triggered

I think it's absolutely fine if fitness is your hobby. I get it, I swim, I weightlift, I go through phases where i do lots, phases I do nothing at all. It's a problem when the rest of your life takes a back seat. When you can't give yourself a lie in after a night out. Can't have a big piece of cake at lunch wth friends without "running it off" afterwards. Every holiday is a mountainous hike. It's fine to track how heavy you lift or how far you run if you have a goal to get better or stronger, but calories are absolute bullshit. People doing fitness things as an actual lifestyle, like bodybuilders or bikini models (or actual pro athletes) will have a professional monitoring them counting their calories and they do not maintain that every day of the year, they deliberately factor an off-season where their diet loosens. And of course, people looking to lose weight- but one of the reasons most diets fail is because, without support, maintaining a calorie controlled diet long-term is just not sustainable.

Cycling and walking ARE proper exercise. Exercise, by definition, is anything that gets your heartrate up. And you only really need to do 30 mins of "moderate" exercise a day, so basically just a medium walk. People like Zanna are not making fitness accessible like they claim, they're gatekeeping. People like you ARE doing as much exercise as you need to be to stay healthy, and if you're being made to feel like it's not good enough. Most people, when they feel they can't do enough, or be "perfect", are put off from doing anything at all. I talk to women all the time who are too scared to try lifting weights because they're "too weak". Well of course you are, you're too scared to do the thing that will actually make you strong because you see all these women online and think you're just meant to BE strong already. Screw those people.

Take a walk and have a chat with your mates. Cycle to have a picnic. Splash around a lake and have a cake with the people you meet afterwards. Take an online yoga class and enjoy lying down in the quiet when they do a tricky pose you don't fancy.

My nan is 88, and she wanted to "get fit like me" in lockdown, so we'd skype, and she'd ask me to show her the stuff I did in the gym. i'd show her my arm exercises, and she'd use tins of beans as weights. She bloody loved it. She broke her arm in a fall recently, and the doctors said that her weightlifting had made her recovery much easier and quicker. If 15 mins of chucking tins of beans above your head 5 nights a week can make it noticeable that your body can recover better from injury, it really is all you need to be healthy.

 

[Hasanah123]

She probably shouldn't have travelled there.
I won't visit any country where I'd have to cover my shoulders or have people stare at my blonde hair, it's 2022 enough of this nonsense. Same goes for the Vatican I mean cover your shoulders, when they hide years of child abused & worse - ridiculous

Youre calling peoples culture nonsense? You may not believe or understand why they do it, but its their culture, and youre calling it nonsense. Culture doesnt stop just because of time. What a hotrible thing to say about others culture. And you cannot compare covering hair/shoulders to covering up abuse. You dont like peoples culture, thats your prerogative but peoples culture wont just vanish because its 2022. Its nonsense to you but its a way of life for others.

 

[littlewonder]

TINY MAN hahahahaha wait for the oppression story where she’s like:

I’m really not bothered myself but I got this comment and just… *zooms in and out of face* WOW… it’s 20 🤌22 🤌guys. like … *gestures wildly* how small minded can you be? I want to talk about this because even though I am super strong and can tune it out, other people can’t! Love comes at any height and whilst it doesn’t bother me, I just want to EMPOWER other women like me who also struggle because I won’t lie guys, sometimes it is really flippin hard!!! like *cuts robot shapes* REALLY FLIPPIN HARD to ignore the prejudice and discrimination and the looks that we get from just like, existing as rich white cishet able bodied conventionally attractive tall women with our 5”7’ boyfriends you know?

So this is why I keep 🤌 sharing 🤌our very unconventional heteronormative relationship to give women the COURAGE to date shorter men. Your height should be CELEBRATED yaaaasss wear those heels because they look *chef kiss* MWAH MWAH. So, yeah *eye fucks self* I hope that it helps and just ignore the haters because they’re just unhappy with themselves and wish they had a relationship like mine *breathy laugh*

 

[Silentcritique]

Urghh I watched some of the blog and got so fucking bored I switched off. NOT ONE PERSON will care enough about your mediocre running Zanna, not one! I fast forwarded a few minutes and she was still saying the same thing, about how she runs 4-6k a week and doesn’t wear a watch, etc etc. it really isn’t that interesting. And FYI, a 22 min 5k when you’re 28 is isn’t as good as you think it is. I do 20 mins and I’m 45. So fuck off and come back to me when you can beat someone 16 years older than you.

Some of us are just proud for running though. No need to throw shade! I’ll never do a 22 minute 5k and that’s ok

 

[littlewonder]

I would say the first step to taking control of your finances is by not paying 25 whole pounds on a shitty webinar with Zanna and ‘investing’ in something fucking useful

 

[Tammy flu]

Posting here before it gets deleted - comment on her newest YouTube video

 

[CustardPie]

OMG her wild swimming guide. Her English is getting worse.

“can even elevate your metabolism. And best of all? Despite all these perks, it is both fun and free!”

WTF does that mean? Also - despite the perks?! Don’t you mean as well as all these perks???

“cold nature of the water which brings so many of the benefits” - cold nature?!

“I simply search “wild swimming in XXX”, browse any articles I find and make note of the recommended spots” - wow. WOW.

“Facebook. There are numerous groups dedicated to wild swimming, for example there is one in Surrey where they organise group swims and share their favourite locations for a dip” and she DOESN’T NAME THE GROUP. Helpful.

“It is impotent to take off your wet gear as soon as you can, pop on something dry and start” - Impotent?

This is absolutely fucking dire. It sickens me that someone so clueless gets paid for this dismal content.

 

[ShhItsASecret]

“He literally said ‘you’re empty’”

if she was empty she wouldn’t be at Barry’s working out.
She would NOT have been able to hike.
She would NOT be waking at 430am to catch up on work before the day starts.

She’s a BULLSHITTER

 

[RosaGirl200]

She came up on my FYP on tik tok and it just instantly ruined my mood.

Like EFF OFF ZANNA!! God forbid people go on a sunny holiday to Greece and, wait for it… sunbathe shock bloody horror!

Tell you what, if you took that attitude with me on holiday I’d throw you off a cliff and let you hike your way back up again

Zanna perhaps it’s because your friends value their holiday relaxation time because they don’t get to go on 3748293 holidays a year, or because they aren’t unhealthily obsessed with putting on a show for the ‘gram, but did you ever stop to realise you can do both #youarentspecial

Another way she is so out of touch with the real world. When people go on holidays and lie around sunbathing, reading and eating rather than 'hiking' everyday it's because they're exhausted from normal 9-5 work life and a home life where they have to actually look after others and clean their homes and garden when we all know Zanna has no idea what this is like. A hard day's work for her is making a 30- second TikTok video.

 

[Vroomvroom]

What I don’t get is how she thinks her brand works as a cohesive brand…

“Here are my money saving tips”… “here’s my 10th holiday of the year saying at hotel that’s over £600 per night”… “healthy living tips!!!” … “actually i eat ready meals multiple times a week”…

it’s so confused!

I think her brand is just being tall, thin, rich and privileged.

 

[littlewonder]

My guess of what Zanna eats in a day:
- coffee that isn’t made with her coffee machine because she doesn’t want to clean it
- £5 per box granola #ad own product
- some over cooked, unseasoned roasted veg that somehow looks both soggy AND dry which she gives a 7/10
- pesto pasta or a gifted all plants dinner #ad
- a cheeky g&t

 

[cats4life56]

I hate Zanna as much as you do but don’t shame people for not being able to run 5k in 20 mins! Completely not what the running community is about.

 

[thatdeafcow]

My first ever title! Been slow to respond as I actually got engaged this week so been in a happy little bubble.
A tattle title and a ring, what a week

Ps- ZanZan you are still a bellend and your teeth blind me

 

[CalatheaLater]

Next time, stay at home, dummy.
View attachment 1224083

Says the person who's planning a 100 person walk in Snowdonia in 2 months time

 

[littlewonder]

early thread title suggestion

Zanna van Dijk: loves to act like she’s oppressed, we know you’re 6ft 2, can you give it a rest?

 

[Hc68759]

When she has done crying videos about how overwhelmed she is with her workload it’s probably due to the fact she has to cram all her “work” into 2 days every month as she’s on holidays the remaining 28 days

 

[Javman]

Using your new business insta to like your own post is fucking desperate…