RVK_Loves #34 Newborn on a boat, on the floor, on long car rides & sleeping in a corridor

[Skewbedu]

Rebeggar we know you read here, so I think I can say on behalf of all of us Tattlers a gigantic THANK YOU for taking one for the team and going abroad.
This thread had dried up like week old halibut because you were boring us all to tears. But lo, in the space of 24 hours all is right with the world again.
We have sat mouths agape and hearts swelling with the joy of your tightwaddery, your inability to make sensible choices in accommodation and your hopeless parenting fails.

This will keep us going for days, DAYS I tell you.

Tempted to go on your recent post and ask if you had gelato while you were there and if so could we please see a picture, because people get SUCH joy from seeing a cone of someone else's ice cream.
Or perhaps I'll ask if you could recommend any packet charcuterie emporiums, despite my being a life long vegetarian. Just for the delight at seeing you with your tupperware tubs (not a euphemism) out.

 

[Right on top of that rose]

RVK Loves #35 RSV Loves #ihavethisthingwithspreadinggerms

 

[Painsnail]

Long ranty post alert!

My son is about 6 weeks older than Raffy and he had a pretty rough start with horrible reflux, general god awful misery, and a few hospital admissions for good measure. I remember looking at her posts about "dreamy" life with two, and all these amazing trips etc whilst I was pacing around trying to get my screaming baby to sleep, and feeling like I was utterly failing him (for not finding it dreamy) and my older one too for not having the energy to do lovely things with her and "make memories"

When my boy was hospitalised with suspected sepsis (twice!) I can't say I posted on the gram whilst I was in with him. Nor did I faff about looking for a breast pump instead of taking him straight to a&e. NOR did I take him out on endless trips when he needed recovery time, and we all needed to be together as a family. These are some of the many many benefits of not monetising your children. They're kids, not content, and what mine lack in chia seeds, plywood and photogenic holidays they (hopefully) make up for in having parents who put them first.

It's frankly disingenuous and irresponsible to portray yourself as some sort of aspirational parent when you can't even make good choices for your tiny children, especially when you consider that for every seemingly perfect instamum there will be 10 women with tiny babies scrolling through the pictures and feeling like they're doing it all wrong. If you're reading this with a small child or two at home then please remember that you're doing a great job, and that Instagram should come with a health warning.

TLDR: she made me feel like a bad mum, but I'm feeling much better about my parenting choices now. Instagram is a web of lies.

(My smallest snail is doing much better now thanks, and the NHS is fucking amazing)

 

[Chattymamabear]

I cannot imagine my child being blue lighted to hospital and me running around at 2am to find my breast pump or even worrying about getting mastitis. Priorities surely?!? Also why is she suddenly worried about the Covid risk in the hospital when she didn’t mind travelling abroad at the peak of the pandemic?

 

[HashtagRealTalk]

Crawling out from under my rock and my brief hiatus on here to say...SHE.....IS......GENUINELY........MENTAL.

Like actually though.
I can’t even begin to fathom how this “holiday” was in any shape or sphere a relaxing or enjoyable experience for anybody involved. Travelling whilst still in a pandemic, being too tight to pay for luggage in the hold...WHEN YOU HAVE TWO FUCKING CHILDREN, walking round the airport looking like an absolute EMBARRASSMENT carting around baby paraphernalia disguised as hand luggage in shrouds, accommodation that has no fucking bannister (but it’s ok guys because the place has a highchair and travel cot....) and no aircon.....on a fucking Balearic Island, in summer. All whilst Bentos and Waffy are at an age where they won’t remember a thing about this experience {probably a good thing} and would have been just as happy with a few days on a UK mini break...... but at least they got to have “Spain” stamps in their passport #hoorayforBrexit ()

#dreamyeverchangingredambergreenlists #ohdreamyfacemasksonaplane #ohdreamyoverpricedPCRtests #dreamylonggggggqueuesatHeathrowairport #ohdreamyvaccinepassports #dreamyzeroaircon...inFUCKINGSPAIN #dreamydeathtrapstaircase
#dreamyblackoutpushchaircovers (?????WTAF though....) #dreamypackhorseBenpecked #ohdreamyhandluggageonly

 

[Sw4]

Allllllllll the dahlias actual heaven? Fuck off grabs

She's obviously never had an orgasm. Or cheesy chips at 4am after a night out.

 

[Sw4]

Why don’t any of her friends or family give her a stern talking to? If I treated my baby the way she treats hers my mum would be going berserk.

He’s having BREATHING PROBLEMS Grabby. At 3 MONTHS OLD, and you’re taking him out for pumpkin photo shoots in the cold and also amidst a pandemic of a disease that can cause further breathing problems! If you read here, please fucking do better. Look after your children and stay the fuck inside for a few days watching Netflix, eating packet ham and doing your online food shop. That’s what you do on holiday anyway isn’t it? So why can’t you do it at home? If you need to get your fucking 10000 steps in then try cleaning your filthy house for once, I’m sure that will burn the same amount of calories as your walks.

 

[Libertine]

I know she’s trying to achieve that Courtney Adamo earth mother look in all the muted colours… but Courtney Adamo’s whole family is conventionally attractive, well groomed and they have the glow of the very, very wealthy.

The Sterlings just look like a sweaty, crumpled, average family who put all their clothes in together on a hot wash and they came out the colour of sludge.

 

[HashtagRealTalk]

I give it to the end of the first week of October and she will be posting up about how Bentos brought home a load of germs from nursery and they will all be struggling. She will probably disappear for 72 hours beforehand and then reappear having had “one of those weekends” and the masses will all come crawling saying “you got this mama”...{all in shades of beige and orange}
Mid November will be probably the next influx of germs and tie in nicely with Waffys four month sleep regression (hope it hits her like a ton of bricks! ) and the demise of the British weather and she will NOT be ok {in shades of burgundy...}
Then 1st December will be merry and bright and ready for the best Christmas everRrrrrrrrr, after last year when it all ended in tiers (but she still decamped to the Barn anyway...) {in botanical greens and gold...}

 

[Madamelurker123]

This is the “scary” staircase where they stayed…. WTAF were they thinking?!

 

[Clare]

Doctor: “Just keep him warm at home and try to keep feeding or giving fluids”

Grabby: Just *one* more pumpkin patch won’t hurt

 

[curlywurlie]

I remember when i found her aspirational. They were both living in london with a house and garden that looked lovely, she was being paid to travel to idyllic honeymoon destinations to blog about them and it wasn’t clear at that point what an absolute racist and self serving arsehole she was and what a weirdo he was.

Fast forward to the filthy million pound 3bed semi, the snooze-worthy insta decor done by every middle claarse hun, and the poor grubby kids in ill fitting clothes, being forced to pose on gluts of whatever their allotment produces. I have to question what I was ever thinking!!

Having a newborn of my own, I am so glad I found this site else I may still have still found her aspirational and wondering why i couldn't grow a bazillion pumpkins to chuck my child onto for pics.

 

[tacotaco]

“Stories from the weekend so far, a lovely one, despite yesterday’s little scare”

is she insane?! How is being in a position where your child is so dangerously sick and in need of care that you call an ambulance for him, that you call that a “little scare” and then carry on with your weekend as usual posting pictures of pumpkins and pastries.

if it was just a “little scare” then why did they not drive him to A&E to get checked out rather than call an ambulance. So entitled it’s unbelievable.

 

[tacotaco]

New thread suggestion: RVK_Loves#35 Soft play, pumpkins and A&E, award for the worst mother of the year goes to me

 

[Paxobeans]

Wait….. WHAT?!?
I know he’s pretty immobile still but surely it wouldn’t take much of a bounce for him to be off that bench. Grabby in the pool and Ben presumably taking 583838285 photos for her to choose from, literally nowhere near the baby. Literally beggars belief

 

[Gossipqueen30]

Fuck me. How has this kid in his early twenties racked up more jobs in his “career” than myself and my husband put together?! I’d be embarrassed of a CV like that. In my eyes, the only reasons for you to have had multiple jobs that you only did for 2 or 3 months at a time is a) you’re shit at your job so the company let you go after the probation period b) you can’t hack working life and quit or c) both!!

 

[Skewbedu]

They way they wrote Raffy the Revolving Bookcase sounds like they are going to write a bunch of kids books like the Thomas The Tank Series.

Raffy the Rotating Bookcase
Otto the Toppling Stool
Fweya the Unkempt Wardrobe
George the NameOnly CEO
Mama the Christmas Groper
Dada the Self Made Funder
Ben the Dubious Lothario

All overseen by The Bats Controller

 

[WhittlingIhopMonkey]

#ihavethisthingwithbeingadick

Next thread title: #ihavethisthingwithbeingadick

 

[Wingingmotherhood]

Who puts growing a moustache on their CV?!

 

[Sunshine&clouds]

Spotted last night but gone now!