I do think that’s Alice on mumsnet now. It’s funny how she says Ioan has abused her online for 2 years. The Projection is astonishing. Also she went private around 30min -1 hr after the mumsnet was posted to tattle. She honestly didn’t think anyone would find it. Why would they?
This is what convinces me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Malice is a Grade A sociopath and narcissist (and cunt, obviously). Most women, after scream-raging to their friends and loved ones, would have thought ‘to hell with him; if he doesn’t want me, he must be a suppurating arsehat’ and would move on, pay attention to their physical appearance, health and fitness, look after their children, find another man and be coldly cordial to their ex for the children’s sake. Not our Malice: it’s always Groundhog Day with our Malice.
(Did I mention that she’s a cunt?)
I am not belittling what he has been through but in the same way these threads ask Malice to take personal responsibility for the outcomes of her actions, the same must stand for Ioan. His passivity makes him partially responsible for allowing her to get away with it for so long is my point. I don’t mean to detract from her monstrous behaviour though. Just my thoughts.
You can not equate child abuse to spousal abuse I am afraid. They are different animals.
Abuse doesn’t work like that. Narcissists manipulate, brainwash and gaslight you after they’ve lovebombed and sucked you in. Over time, in such tiny increments that you are unaware of anything other than a deep sense of unease, they whittle away at everything you are, destroying your boundaries and self-esteem. Then, when they have used up all your value as their supply, they callously ditch you and move on to the next victim (whom they usually have lined up).
I was in a fiveyear relationship with a narcissist who played through this abusive pattern. It started with lovebombing, moved on to devaluing me over something exceedingly insignificant, and became incredibly emotionally, verbally and physically violent. Was it my fault that I didn’t leave the first time I was struck? Should I blame myself for not having been able to pull away from someone who played so skilfully with my emotions that I didn’t know if up were down or right was Wednesday? Should victims be held to the same standards as aggressors?