Emmylou Loves #32 Wax your flaps and strap on in while we watch Emmy convince us she's thin

[SnarkyTart]

 

[YellowFingerDustforDays]

Fun fact for you MoulinLou. I managed to parent my kids (youngest was 4) whilst I went through a mastectomy and 8 months of chemo and radiation. My husband was working two jobs to try and keep our mortgage paid because I was too ill to work, so I had to do all the school runs, make the lunches, organise sport, parties, playdates ... all whilst recovering from having my right tittie cut off, being hooked up to a cytotoxic infusion for 6 hours every two weeks, and then having 25 daily sessions of radiation at a hospital on the other side of the city. And all without a fucking PA because I'm an actual useful and decent human being who is capable of putting the needs of my children before my own, and not a narcissistic cunt with delusions of grandeur.

I thought it was just the tags left on the jackets that triggered me, but apparently not

 

[Messychaotic - one word]

 

[SnarkyTart]

*hiccup* yo yo yo mama's in the *stumbling* house and feel *hiccup* feeling sah farken sexy *orgasm face* oh yeah it's girls night out *sexy pout* mah milkshake brings all tha farken boys to tha yard *burp* I'm gonna shake what mah mama gave me *spills drink* ALove left us and he's farken missin' all o'this *camera jerkily pans down body* but I don't needa vegan 'cause Imma *hiccup, giggle* find mahself a soul mate tonight yeaaahh *squealing* and those fezza fucken bishes on Tat *hiccup* Taddler can eat a dick *cackling* maybe mama's gonna eat a dick and some Cheezels tonight *burp* ohmagod look a lizard...

 

[Sure…Media!]

Putting the pressure on for the insomniacs so early in the morning? I haven’t seen Brad to get my coffee yet. It’s hard to write a good recrap when our star remains such a parody whilst giving us the same old colon clogging content.

Inspired by Old Mate Cachia Shaw, EmmyLou McMuffintop reverted to her maiden name and came back after a week off. Like the phoenix from the ashes, she rose forth in her newly invented form like never before.

Her brand new, never before seen content included failed cooking demos, squeezing in to clothes not suited to the weather or her shape, the ensemble cast of locals from the market, endless clothes, poorly thought out #ads and a bunghole beauty routine. So unique. We didn’t see it coming. Also hope to never again.

Borrowing her sisters bathroom to film the Garnier shampoo commercial, it all went wrong when she when she discovered it was banana flavour. Let’s just say that lead on to an unfortunate waffle stomping incident and never speak of that again.

Like very other Grama with a clothing line and upcoming trip to Bali, she showed us her misinterpretation of a Kmart plate. Nadia offered to show her how it’s done, but out of fear of being filmed again has put a call out to the other fembots to see who can help. Either way, EL is looking like a new person these days. Must be the journal.

She finished off the week with a romantic date with hubris which, like most solo dates, ended in great fashion. Like love making, some things are better done by yourself if you want it done properly. Power to the sistahood.

 

[cheezelfingers]

She’s a maniac, maniac on the floor
And she’s dancing like a big gyrating boar

 

[suelynqueen]

From the comments on her dirty martini post:

Same, Katie, same.

 

[Pollie]

I’ve come around to Alice tbh, learning heaps of random shit
#binsoutforalice

 

[makeitstop]

If anyone feels the need in the future to express concern for her well-being please use today antics as a reminder that the only person she cares about is herself, whilst her antics give me an enormous amount of joy, her selfishness is next level and infuriates me. There is a little girl going to bed tonight probably wondering why her Mum did not spend the day with her for her birthday, that type of absence will be with her forever no matter how much fun she might have had with her Dad and siblings her Mum was not there.

 

[Whiskers1]

Sunday morning and i rewatched the olive sucking ewwwww

No wonder ALove left.
Technique is appalling....

 

[rulebreaker101]

I was thinking exactly this while I was driving back from somewhere before.

Jess looks like a lovely lady (she has a beautiful, kind face) but this was a huge error in judgement.



That is so funny!

How is your sister doing? She suddenly popped into my thoughts the other day (just from what you've shared). Sending her so much love .

My sister is really sad. She is going through treatment again, loosing hair. We shaved her hair off today and she is really emotional. She has next to no energy whereas I have tons of energy so it’s a lil difficult for me to stay still for her. So as she rests her husband takes me out for hikes and grocery malls to burn my energy. But thank you so much for asking as no one really asks.

 

[bigbigsound]

 

[Super Cute]

What in the actual fuck, she looks like the cheap, old, frumpy try hard version of Brittney Spears from hit me baby one more time

Kind of a mash up of this ammiright??

And EL you are THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKES THOSE WHITE SHOES. You and Nanna Norma from Buckleys Pokies, East Geelong.

 

[rulebreaker101]

In America atm, looking after my sister, waiting for my tww to see if I’m pregnant and left my other half at home alone. I came past this and needed to send.

 

[AlovesnewFezza]

So Emmylou spent a week in hospital but wouldn’t disclose why she was there and now that C is in ED she posts all about it. If only she could apply the same level of privacy and respect towards her own children.

 

[Dalej7]

Ok guys.
I hope I did this right.
My anxiety was not great seeing us on page 52
I have no idea how to write or recap (please rescue me @sure...media! Why can I never tag you?)

But basically after being MIA for 9 days, she came back with a new lease on life. in the space of 5 days She gifted us a front row show to her hairy minge getting waxed and then did her basic slacktivism bullshit by posing like a sultry skank for a domestic violence campaign.

She's definitely lost weight but its probably bc she just drank juice all week and cried over her ex defactos new partner.

Anyway im too angry her this week to try and remember what else to write sorry guys.

But congratulations to @ChunkyCustard for the winning thread title.
You get some curry thats been left on the bench for a week and free clam wax from our favourite aesthetician.

Emmylou Loves #31 Emmylou has done a runner, ALove has a new lover, no more Bali retreat, what a bummer

Only benefit to a sick baby being up all night is getting to catch up on these fast moving threads 🤪 Hope your little one is better asap ❤

tattle.life

Ok you guys are all super sleuths!
I can rarely watch her stories twice through to ever pick up on deleted chunks.
But it all makes sense. On her time off she went hard on tinder and made a date for this week. Thats why Mondays asshole wax was so last minute.
She was probably so pumped for her date and then got stood up and quite frankly, couldn't have happened to a nicer person. Suck shit emmylouonewordnohyphen.

 

[Whiskers1]

For your Saturday night viewing pleasure...
Sexy Em cutting the moves.

 

[Cachia’s Fried Hair]

I almost broke a leg running over here when I saw that dancing

 

[SnarkyTart]

I actually feel soooooo embarassed for her. People are legit going to think she's left the newborn at home. That dress is not supposed to be screaming let the girls out for a quick pump but it totally is on her. Oh, Moulin Lou, you have lost the plot girl!

 

[PackOfMoles]

Pretty sure Dan Andrews promised 4000 beds for Victoria that never appeared and later denied he said that.

Oh no, we are not going there! I'm here for EL content, not to talk about politics.