Emmylou Loves #32 Wax your flaps and strap on in while we watch Emmy convince us she's thin

[finelines]

Getting there…

she’s lost over 20 followers in the last couple of hours by the looks of it

Why would anyone unfollow tonight. This is some of her best work

 

[SnarkyTart]

Rulebreaker, I hope I'm not overstepping the mark by suggesting this - please forgive me if I am as my comment comes from the heart.

I wondered if you've tried reading to your sister while she's resting. Sometimes when you're really sick, you just want to close your eyes and rest but you don't want to be alone ... hearing a voice, especially that of a loved one, can mean so much. You could get a series of books, and just read to her. Liane Moriarty and Sophie Kinsella write great books.

Messy, I'm just going to say it - you are an AMAZING human. You are kind, diplomatic, intelligent and so incredibly thoughtful. You really have the biggest heart

How's your new job going?

@SnarkyTart I could really go for a picture of EL stepping in dog shit right now

 

[butterball]

I’m sorry if you think I was getting political. But at the end of the day the lack of beds, lack of staff, lack of funding, Covid and flu etc plus GPs getting rid of Medicare and bulk billing are impacting wait times in hospitals Victoria and the rest of Australia. As some posted above in this thread. Governments had two years to fix the system. The health system keeps getting worse and worse.

Pleaaaaase can we not turn this in to a debate about the hospital system and just stick to EL? I get that there are very real, very serious issues but could we stick to our favourite Teletubbie instead of going down this road?

 

[SnarkyTart]

@SnarkyTart you ok??

Ohhh Amy I'm okay! Just been a bit busy today. Not mad dog busy - didn't manage to squeeze in a colonic or a fanny wax

In all honesty, her comeback has left me reeling. I don't know what to make of her anymore. She has absolutely zero capacity for self reflection. It's astounding! I just keep thinking Chris Lilley is going to pull off a mask because truly, how can a real person be so awful?!? So I'm a bit speechless I think

 

[Whiskers1]

Thanks for the new avatar

Also I've taken to saying DickEhead at home....everyone is asking why I am calling people a dickehead instead of just dickhead.

Everyone being my husband.
One person.
Same as Emmy's DM's.....

 

[Messychaotic - one word]

Mumma is going out!

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Is she going to a bad taste party?

 

[Hereforthecheezels]

OMG - when she stepped back from the camera to show the dress it reminded me of Silence of the Lambs when Buffalo Bill was putting lipstick on and then stood back away from the camera!!

 

[Messychaotic - one word]

Next thread suggestion:
Emmylou Loves #33 Moves Like Tinky Winky, Too-Tight Clothing Makes It Stinky

She just popped up a Story post dance class to say she’s heading out for cocktails and dinner with her friend Jess and her friend’s girlfriends. Who is Jess?

(does she exist?)

Oh, she's Charlotte's cousin

 

[Messychaotic - one word]

I suspect a lot of Emmylou's problems are due to her emotional immaturity.

Instead of acting like a 43-year-old - a mum of three kids who need her, she is acting like a 20-something-year-old who had kids very young and is living the single life for the first time as an adult while someone else does the babysitting. What she thinks looks to her followers like fun and a positive, outgoing attitude to "all she's been through," does in fact come across as desperate and pathetic.

She isn't interested in doing the hard work needed to effect huge psychological change - instead, she thinks that posting inspirational quotes is enough. I doubt she's seeing a counsellor in any shape or form.

"If you always do as you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got" - think about that, Emmylou.

@Messychaotic - one word do you have bunks? I want to come too

I can host four!

Sadly no bunks, but we do have a very cute spare room made up with little car-shaped beds (for when our little friends come and stay). We also have two very luxurious (padded, fleece-lined, with electric warmers, pillows and snuggly doonas) dog beds though ... we lost two of our precious dogs last year so are down to just one now, and I can't bear to give or throw them away . (OMG - not saying you're bitches - just that these are very comfy beds and our visitors always comment on how good they look!).

Or, if you love the (very cold!) great outdoors, you're welcome to take a few hay bales and load 'em up on the back of the ute and spend the night under the stars!

I can offer you an amazing package deal for a very affordable $9,999 for three nights! Amazing value!!! If you pay via credit card, there'll be a 15% surcharge. Meals are not included, but it's about a 40 minute drive into the city. Transfers aren't included, but you might be able to catch a ride if you hitchhike .. I can't guarantee you'd be able to get back again but that will add to what will be a gawjus experience ... just bewdiful.

 

[meg_snarkle]

I am traumatised by the dress, coat, shoe combination.
Traumatised.

Choices were made tonight, people.
Bad bad choices

 

[Director of Mugs]

Why is she paying to go into a club?

Over hearing about how sore her thighs are.

 

[Messychaotic - one word]

I just lost my nasi goreng

 

[Super Cute]

I’ve moved past the point of being able to watch her stories her now - it evoked such violent, eye twitch reactions every time I saw her penis head pop up. Plus, y’all give me enough fodder/screen shots and commentary to give me lols instead so thanks to all for doing such a bewdiful communidy service

Apologies to all our Tattler communidy that are waking up to 20+pages in 24 hours! We salty trolls got bizzy in our caves sipping “the tea” in our recliners on a Saturday noight in!

 

[Messychaotic - one word]

Oh, man ... the only time I turn in early is when lots of you guys are still online! Wishing I'd stayed up now.

I mostly work into the small wee hours if I'm doing work for US-based clients but as I am starting a new local (well, local-ish ... a 50 minute drive each way) job on Monday, I will have to turn in by 9pm NZ time which is probably when most of you are eating dinner! I'll hope to catch up on the threads on the weekends though, and I may or may not get to view her stories during my breaks.

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If I was Aaron's new girlfriend, I'd be a bit annoyed at Emmylou constantly calling him over for stuff ... I think whomever he hooks up with his going to be in for a very bumpy ride indeed. I don't think she'd be blatantly rude towards them, but I'm sure she'd be passive aggressive.

I agree that Emmylou looked as if she was about to say - in yesterday's stories - that she was meeting someone. She had a real spring in her step and was clearly looking forward to it. I think her best bet is to meet someone nice through a hobby group - so they have shared interests; or, through friends/workers/relatives - rather than faffing about on Tinder. I don't think she realises how polarising she can be ... she's a BIG personality who puts nearly everything on the 'gram and I'm not sure Everyday Bob would be able to cope with that.

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Okay Emmylou, a few things I want to see today:

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Clothing

1. Rearrange the racks of clothing at the warehouse, so you can put prices on each - e.g., this rack, $50; this one $20; this one $10 ... nothing over $50 please, as this stuff needs to move!
2. Advertise - via a dedicated, pinned, post on your grid, a couple of open days for next weekend - no wine or cheese; nothing like that - just get the crowds in and get this stuff sold. Don't offer your magazines for sale too, like you did last time - just focus on getting the clothing sold. To lure the crowds in, say that every purchase will go in the draw to win the cost of their purchase(s) back - print two receipts when your customers are paying, and get them to write their name, contact number and email address on the back of one, which they can hand back to you. Make sure you follow through with this via a live draw on your 'gram (just mention first name and surname initial and say you'll be contacting this person) ... . Also state that you will be donating 10% of every sale to charity - the one you've just done the photo shoot for - and follow through on this - say where the clothing has been donated to. You're probably screeching at all this, saying you can't afford to give the stuff away ... well, better to get something for it all as opposed to nothing which is the current situation.

... At the end of next weekend, whatever hasn't sold needs to be donated to charity.

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Bali

Personally, I'd suggest you can it. But if you're intent on going through with it:

1. Update your flyer.
   • You mention 'where you want to be in October' (or something to that extent) but one of the trips is in November.
   • Why are there two email addresses?
2. Pop a post up on your grid, inviting people to come along to an information evening online via Zoom, where you can talk about what the retreat involves and answer any questions.

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That's all for now; chop-chop, off you go - it's almost 9am where you are and the day is slipping by.

 

[Toilet toothbrush]

I think Alice is back....

Agreed… it must be bin night

 

[screenfreelookatme]

I have bunions and I wear all sorts of good shoes. Closed toe and sandals. She is just addicted to crappy shoes. And now she claims she didn't see the weather report until after she left the house. Yeah sure.

I don’t need a weather report to know not to go bare legs in Melbourne in the middle of winter 🫠

 

[ActiveLies]

Ahahahahahahahaha. I actually laughed out loud a minimum of 5 times in that dancing disaster.

Firstly she says it’s a dancing in heels thing - neither of the instructors were wearing heels.
Next she nearly flashes her gash while explaining why she can’t wear a leotard under her leggings, seemingly forgetting entirely about the existence of t-shirts and singlets that aren’t cropped.
Then she explains that she’s got a smoky eye coz it’s a sexy dance class, and follows that statement up with a burp.

honestly you couldn’t make this shit Up if you tried

 

[SnarkyTart]

Just have to chime in re birthday gift presentation. My folks didn't have a lot of money whilst we were growing up, but mum put so much love and care into presenting our gifts beautifully. One Easter she spelt our initals out in Smarties (of course we thought it was the Easter Bunny and I'm even more grateful thinking how this stressed out woman working 3 jobs and dealing with a lazy narc husband could still take the time to make her kids feel so special). She would blow up balloons and when we got older make beautiful posies of flowers from the garden. She sourced gift wrap and ribbons from the op shop. No matter the budget, it's not hard to present a gift nicely. Emmylou straight up doesn't give a flying fuck about how her kids feel. Just toss them a brown paper bag with things shoved in. The Seed bag was probably an oldie of hers with some random stuff in there - my very wealthy sister-in-law does this - gifts my kids the cheapest shit in Country Road and upscale florist bags. One year she gave her brother, my husband, a Scrabble mug with a $1.50 clearance sticker still stuck to it He doesn't even play Scrabble so it's not like it was the thought that counts - it was literally the cheapest thing she could find Sorry to go off tangent, I just really hate when people don't even try to make someone else's birthday a special day, especially when it's a young child.

 

[Director of Mugs]

Mumma is going out!

 

[Female Businesswoman]

It makes me so mad/sad that it’s her youngest birthday and she’s faffing around dinner out, “clubbing” , private dance lesson, out tonight,
Doesn’t matter whether it’s Arron’s weekend. It sums her up. Her priority is herself