Tier 3 Instamums

[Palm23]

I'm all for getting rid of mental health taboos but don't see how sharing every intimate detail of family life helps with anxiety (I also have diagnosed anxiety).

I live near Clemmie T and sometimes see her husband at baby and parenting groups. It's so weird. Nevermind the usual 'oh how old is she?' chat about the baby. My opener could he 'oh hi greta I know exactly how and when you were born. How's weaning going? Saw your wife's engorged breasts online yesterday. How's it going selling your house? How's work going after your business went bust and you concealed debt from your wife? At least you're still seeing a couple's therapist...'

I mean I could go on. Strangers knowing all this would totally creep me out. But I guess if your 'day' job was advertising and working for Insta and Facebook, you can't really admit that social media is potentially really damaging.

 

[swipeup]

I don't follow or have any interest in following AFlucy so I have no skin in that game but as a general comment to @AlbaL

Do you not see how these forums and threads appear in response to what's posted online and that we come here to vent about and discuss the content that's being put out. Because that's how this all works you see, people willingly put their lives on the internet for anyone to see, other people consume it and unless they're brain dead, they have thoughts and opinions on said content. And newsflash, it's not always positive. But when we attempt to engage in civilized debate with the content creator, we're often shut down, have our comments deleted or are blocked. Or worst of all we're told to be "nice", be "kind", "just unfollow" or "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". We're labelled jealous, trolls, keyboard warriors or "sad bitchy women". And we're the bullies?

Are we supposed to think every single thing we see on the internet is all happy positive rainbows and unicorns all day every day, we're not allowed to disagree and comment negatively on something on the internet? When you start to try and control the narrative and censor (or delete) what people say, that's a slippery slope. A lot of the influencers that get talked about here just don't seem to be able to handle the negativity that comes with sharing their life online but calling someone a bully for having an opinion is indefensible.

Sites like this exist becasue there's nowhere else the discussion can freely take place. I personally think sometimes comments get too personal and cross a line but for the most part we're having healthy discussion about important topics like advertising ethics, online safety of children, children being used to earn money for families etc etc. If that constitutes cyber bullying in your mind then yes I would like you to explain it to me becasue as far as I can see it's nothing more than a space on the internet where people can voice their opinions. And if the people being talked about don't like it, here's an idea....just stop posting.

 

[Instawanker]

Oh the irony - second rate Clemmie (T) working in conjunction with Next when last year she was up in arms about them ripping off Scamp and Dude!

Show me the money!

 

[imogenlane]

I am so over the instamums talking about two things over and over - how brave they are if they post an "non-insta worthy" photo #instareality and half naked pictures of themselves to talk about their postpartum bodies. Some of them do it nearly weekly, but it's so brave each and every time. Get over yourselves! It's not that the messages aren't worthy, they are! Not seeking perfection and body confidence are important. But when you post it all. the. time. it just comes off more attention seeking than anything.

 

[Venuslurker]

Never liked CB, always sensed that she thinks she's so much fucking wiser than everyone else on the planet. Nah. Buying £300 shoes when you're in debt is not fucking wise.

 

[Elliebee]

I am a serial lurker here I love this thread! I just wanted to mention how unbelievably annoying I found CTs most recent “list” - not just the content but the fact that it’s not a fucking list!!! None of them are!! They are just normal paragraphs/writing arbitrarily split into bullet points!!! I would get it more if it was “15 reasons I became an instamum” but it’s literally just like she’s written it, highlighted it then added bullet points...ok that’s my 2 cents

 

[Carobee]

i think they all bang on about empowerment and how great Instagram is ..the sisterhood let’s all stick together women are great etc but that’s because they are the ones at the top of insta food chain going to all the parties/trips/ free gifts while the rest of us watch on. If it was the other way round and they were watching this cliquey clique go around London having freebies they’d feel annoyed too & make comparisons. Ahh dressing Bestival when we’ll have weeks of them banging on about that. We’re not all middle class. Instagram was a fun place but now it is all about money. Everyone wants to be a celeb & make money of it.
The instamums are as savage as anyone. EVERYTHING they do is for self promotion to get money so they can spend £60 on Aesop hand wash. THEY ARE SO DESPERATE for cash. Don’t fool yourself it’s for the good of us. It’s so like school they copy each other remember when MOD SDBHF CT & more had that helmet bob hair with blunt fringe?
Why haven’t I unfollowed? I watch them feeling embarrassed for them that they are airing so much of their life that I can’t turn away. It’s like Take A Break come to life. I give it 5 more years before we all stop using our phones like this so much. Already so many of my “normal” friends have stopped posting as feels like why bother in a sea of ADS or highly curated images. Pictures of our day seems and is bland in comparison. Also instamums must be online ALL the time which is so sad as they comment under each other’s pics within minutes.

 

[Slatternly]

Oh my god!! That line up looks like satire!!! Clemmie 2 reads out some lists about things you didn’t know before becoming a parent . Fod and clemmie 1 twat around to drum and bass and the Pukkas get all dry witted about their sex lives with fish fingers in their hair/stepping on LEGO etc....

 

[Mochalatte]

The worst part of it all- follow Friday where they all shout each other out but it’s just the same people AAAAAAALLLLL the time and then the person that gets a mention thanks the person for shouting them out and then they thank the person for thanking them- I just can’t take it anymore!

 

[EyesOpened123]

Did Mother Pukka learn nothing about diversity from that OK Magazine / Star Mum debacle?! Where’s the WoC? Plus size? Working class? Disabled? Honestly, I despair!

 

[Mochalatte]

It’s maybe some preamble to #ad for HMRC

 

[Papab]

Hi there, I’m going to go against my No 1 rule here by engaging in this website to address this ( and this is not a move to defend anything or anyone ), with that being said, my comment with regards to me being classed at aggressive was about me and me only, as I felt it was a reach for anyone to call me aggressive ( if you are a POC, you will understand how painful it is ) when all I’m doing is being passionate about my belief and what I know which was and is formed by my experience, I am also not trying to force it down anyone’s throat as I know we are all different hence the difference in opinions, but true togetherness comes from understanding that we will have have a difference is beliefs which is ok as this is what makes everybody unique.. in the case of Candices outburst, I beg you to try to put yourself in her shoes, she is not a robot, she’s human with feelings and to be called a monkey or black bitch or a grey black woman almost everyday by someone random ( trust me it does happen ) would eventually take its toll as it would on anybody, coupled with the fact that it just so happens that real life stuff is currently happening at the moment, things that can break anybody. Agreed that incident could have been dealt with in a diff way however her post that day about wanting to sell the shoes where also Mis understood by that woman , which meant what she had to say about it was also flawed, and when you throw in the other things I’ve mentioned above it’s bound to go south, I hope you do understand.. we all learn every day and Candice has most certainly learnt a lesson here.
Now moving on to the comment in regards to my first child which is the reason I decided to comment.. this situation hurts me every day, it’s pain I choose not to speak about as it is sometimes unbearable, and like you rightly said there might be a whole host of reasons ( trust me it’s a lot including legal ones ) which we are currently still going through and it may go on for much longer.. I know that one day I will have to explain to my daughter and I pray for the strength to do so. I would love to talk to you about your experience as I am currently at a cross road regarding this ..
and just to add because of all that is going on I/we am/are forbidden to post anything about her on social so this is most definitely not a move to erase her from existence, but actually just abiding by the rules we have been set. I hope my explaining is satisfactory.
It is my aim to always listen to alternative viewpoints however, I much like everybody will draw a line when it becomes a tad bit disrespectful .

 

[Mother Pukka]

I’m with you on MP, can’t stand her. With the OK/Next thing I think she should have said ok I hear ya, it’s not diverse, I didn’t ask but I’m going to see it through because I should?! Then for anything future she should make sure of the line up etc? But that’s not really what gets me, what gets me is that she’s just dull- every insta post is the same? She has no new content and is hungry for fame. No wonder she’s a failed journalist, her writing is pretty bad and it was funny the first time I heard about manky titties and weetabix but seriously, get some new copy? It’s tired and boring. I stopped watching when she was basically dragging around the second child and looked like she probably needed a week at home doing nothing. I actually began to worry for her welfare or was it all a ploy? I signed up for her McDonald’s thing and went along, it was awful, badly managed, badly organised and a waste of time that I didn’t have. I actually thought about writing to her about it and knew that I’d be seen as a troll, even with my constructive criticism. Not just that it was just full of mums moaning- don’t get me wrong, I get that flexible working is a real problem but just whining about how it’s all not fair and stamping your feet isn’t really what I thought it was going to be about. I was hoping some of the mums would actually have some good information and ideas rather than just turning up to see there fav instamum? It’s a shame- I’m a huge advocate of flexible working and have done a lot of work on it within my own company and also with others - but she’s actually cheapening the cause. I dunno- maybe she’s changed lately?

Hi, I definitely don’t expect to be universally liked, that would make for a Truman Show-like existence. (Something I’ve said before on a similar thread; I am aware I repeat myself sometimes). But I just wanted to pick up on the flexible working event you came to. The events were more clinics run in association with the CIPD, Working Families and the Equality and Human Rights Commission. It wasn’t a coffee morning with me thrown in as the soggy Rich Tea biscuit on the side. Each person had a 20-minute one-on-one session with a dedicated flexible working expert. The rest you may well be right on, I can’t fully judge being this side but wanted to clarify the clinics we ran were not centred on mums whining/chatting and while I certainly don’t navigate this space well at times, I am open to constructive criticism.

 

[Mochalatte]

Instamums can do anything - remember they are strong! It says so on their T-shirt!

 

[Spilttea]

CB has not helped herself/Make Motherhood Diverse cause by going on live stories saying she wants to disembowel people who come at her & seriously her boyfriend thinks he’s talking really eloquently but he’s talking gibberish, no sense at all. Her post today was literally like the Emporers New Clothes I was reading it thinking is this jokely this badly written pretending to be high brow and all the you slay queen comments after it has made me doubt so many!

She thinks she’s waxing poetically
and being so deep and meaningful. All of those words and self posturing because she got called out for those frankly ugly shoes.

She has been like this for ages and all those yas queen’ing her are just too scared to be labelled as ignorant or racist to stand up to her.

Here’s the thing, just because you
think she is a self aggrandising hypocrite who shouts down her critics with threatening words doesn’t make you a racist.

 

[Tedward39]

Mother Pukka, (& presumably Papa Pukka?) has stepped down from Camp Bestival! ?

 

[seriously?]

MissM08: I have never posted on this site before, but I feel I must address something you have raised. Personally, I have no issues with anyone using social media to make an honest living. However so many Instamums are not disclosing that the products, clothing, household items have been gifted or indeed they have been paid to endorse them. As consumers how can we know if a recommendation made by an Instamum we are following is sincere or just part of the deal they have with a company?

MissM08, I would be interested to know what your opinion is on the recent ASA rules, and whether you agree that it is ethically questionable to market and promote goods without declaring a financial interest......or do you not see that as a problem?

The comment on your post "Oh wait you are boring as sin and you wouldn't get any followers...." comes across as very immature. Many of the posts raise serious issues including the deceitful promotion of goods and the shameless lack of privacy these mothers inflict upon their own children. I fear the Instamum phenomenon will eventually end with a tragic event. Seemingly well educated women post highly personal information, and in such detail, that within minutes it is possible to find their addresses, value of their homes and Ltd company financial information. Some even broadcast when they are away on holiday......... not just to family or the benign follower, but anyone and everyone. Surely it is reckless and a breach of parental responsibility to knowingly divulge a child's personal details and discuss (without anonymity) parenting issues relating to that child to complete strangers. Does it not represent a fundamental breach of trust between parent and child? It is particularly sickening that it is done with the obvious intention of the Instamum's own self-promotion. Do the other parents and extended families of these children not intervene? As a grandmother I would be voicing my concerns over my grandchild's lack of privacy and the obvious dangers, but what are the father's doing to stop the exploitation of their own children?

The posting of bikini/underwear clad photos is obviously done to receive the gushing comments from their sycophantic followers to feed their fragile egos. Relentlessly fishing for compliments suggests a level of pathology that should engender pity, but it is hardly surprising that so many on Tattle have gone past pity and just end up ridiculing them. They promote themselves in a public space to encourage followers, but then have the audacity to call any negative feedback "bullying/bitching"..............is anyone really that naïve?

It looks like AFLucy is reflecting on the wisdom of letting complete strangers into her private life, but there are so many more like her that should take note.

 

[AliceinWanderlust]

That was nasty. Mum in the madhouse (although I’m not familiar with her) was exactly right and I imagine a large portion of CB’s followers agree

Candice is often really aggressive and always brings it back to race, priveldge and class because she knows no one will argue with that. It feels like a weapon to silence people’s opinions

 

[AmberSpyglass]

I've just unfollowed thatmummysmile, she's posted a story about her brilliant mum and said 'so this is why I've got her this...' and the next god knows how many stories are her waffling about a piece of jeweller she's 'giving' her mum..which is bloody gifted!

I'd be more than happy to be given something that someone else had been gifted, but don't witter on about how she's so deserving etc and then advertise something.

I’m no fan of Cash Carraway but it was very satisfying when she completely stonewalled TMS after her ‘social housing’ post. TMS is up there amongst the more gratingly irritating instamums.

 

[Sweettutu]

Any one of you on here judging and commenting on the way other women live their lives and raise their children, need to give your heads a wobble... unless their children are being neglected or are in danger in anyway it shouldn’t even enter your mind to judge them.. and btw if you do think there is a serious concern your should be ringing the relevant authority’s not posting it on an anonymous online forum. Jealousy is the only word that springs to mind and I hope the next time your in the supermarket and your child is having an inevitable melt down, another mother comes up to you and tells you what an awfull job your doing just because you behind a screen doesn’t make what you are all saying any different!

Oh do fuck off. We’re not flogging our childrens’ private lives for the sake of a free box of snacks.

I’m sure alice’s Kids will be ever so thankful she shared the ins and outs of their potty training with thousands of strangers. Give your own head a fucking wobble you bellend.