Tier 3 Instamums

[FrannyGallops]

Well, at least I know to avoid Bestival like the plague. Tips from DLAM for festival clothing (lots and lots of glitter on the face, shiny catsuit and pompom sliders, complete with ‘wacky’ face for IG pics, with a bemused baby hanging off your arm), drum n bass DJ set from Mod/Fod, even though as someone else has said, his iPod is actually full of Coldplay, and Telford is probably going to compile some kind of ‘mums and kids at festivals’ list, which will include the pimped up kiddy wagon that they all seem to have.

What japes! Get in the fucking sea, Bestival.

 

[Tattyanna]

How many holidays has Clemmie Telford had this year? I’m counting 4 and we’re only half way through March! & then she’ll be back oh woe is me this is the washing pile on the stairs #mumlife #solidardity

Yes, but the poor lamb paid for half of one of them HERSELF, and thought it was a bit rubbish #prayforclemmie2 #sobrave

Also, WHY do they all pose in their pants? I don’t feel empowered or inspired when I see that, I just think their poor kids when their mates at school see those photos!

 

[Cassandra Cain]

A few more for the Instamum Bingo... Crazy attention seeking dancing in the kitchen. DING. Oh so brave posing in their underwear. DING DING. "Living my best life." DING DING DING.

 

[Exhaustednurse]

Chloelovestoshop relaying on her stories her ‘nightmare’ of Instagram going down for a bit yesterday. Following her free facial of course.

It makes me sick. I worked a 13 hour day yesterday in what can be described as a hell hole of a broken NHS hospital. Staff working under a level of pressure that you cannot believe and within this, making life or death desicions having had no sleep or food and drink.

Alongside this patients who are frightened, scared and for some receiving life changing heartbreaking news. For some life will never look that same again.

And then this lot floating around, moaning constantly, with constant expensive free stuff despite their already wealthy lives is utterly sickening. What do they give back? What do they really contribute to?

And don’t get be started on MOD and her 1 shift a week - get real love, get real

 

[Instawanker]

Because is was a self serving post about being upset when someone called her out for being cliquey at an event. She said she wasn’t and was really upset and cried for a week (boohoo). She said that cliques are just groups of friends. Bullshit. It is all mean girls school playground shut. The cliques stand in groups and not crescents encouraging others to join. If she wasn’t championed by bigger and more successful insta wankers she would be a dimple dancing nobody. Oh and shut the fuck up about the gin rainbow. How much fucking money has been spent on that - it is mortifying.

Now she is working with west elm doing up a room that she admits she never uses as it is a kids/family room.

Middle class privileged instawankery at its best. Oh I was a journalist and now I am a small business owner that proves instagramnia for middle aged people as I am the o my successful over 40 on here!

 

[Sparklefluff]

sounds like you two have some unfinished business to sort out

I've always thought highly of MP she seems like she has her screwed on

I think she’s living and learning, being honest and making some mistakes now and again.

She comes across as very human to me, in an Instagram world full of fakes.

 

[Mochalatte]

Well that’s selfish mother shouting out about people copying her brand and others. Last I checked mama wasn’t copyrighted by her? Also maybe if your jumpers weren’t £50 then more people would buy from you rather than the high street because last I checked you’re always banging on about how you’re not priviledged and you hate all the Tory austerity etc but you don’t really seem to have an inclusive brand? Champagne socialist much? I think people want to wear mama across their chests, they’re not thinking wow that’s a copy of a selfish mother top? Also next/ASDA etc all copied scamp and dude and there was an uproar but then the bills needed paid and a freebie lunch is offered up and they’re all running back to the big bad brands? There was a jumper in M&S recently, a tiger stripe one that “was identical to anine bing” one so you should all buy it because it’s great value - so it’s ok for a big company to copy another big company? I’m just gobsmacked at the irony of it all?

 

[Exhaustednurse]

This thread is golden. I have found my people.

Completely agree on the tier / caste system of instamums.

Think the lot that are on the snowboarding holiday are lower sixth - they are all identikit aren’t they? Living in south London, the odd tattoo, posh background, Meile appliances, Bestival, strong girls club, ‘Crazzzzzzy shoes’
I know no one like this in real life.

Trying to work out where ChloeLovestoshop and the Fashionliftsit. Kids a bit older, Jo Malone, Chloe Boots, free facials, big holidays for birthdays.

This is fun!

 

[Slatternly]

Ha ha!!! Yes. The pulling up the drawbridge and just say no is like, so brave and empowered!

I might try that with the next class of hoodlums I’m down to teach. I’ll put a closed sign on my classroom door with a picture of a drawbridge on it. Happy mummy happy babies I’ll tell them.

She really doesn’t know she’s born.

 

[FrannyGallops]

Ah wrong relative. But yes you rope in a relative to sort out your insta mess. You also spring up super quick on gossip forums when people start talking about you because now you’ve got a radio job, you probably don’t want people sharing all their experiences they’ve had with you on social media

There’s nothing wrong with Mother Pukka coming on to defend herself. Everyone’s allowed a say.

 

[letitallout]

I like Susie V, she’s pretty down to earth, self-deprecating and funny. I especially appreciate today’s insta story pointing out how people post to-do lists such as ‘reply to emails, pop to Topps Tiles’ and it’s a luxury that mums with actual jobs and bosses don’t have, but need to squeeze that kind of thing in around a meaningful job. The instamums could take a leaf out of her book in recognising that privilege!

 

[AmberSpyglass]

Mumsnet would cave when the Insta Mum threads were reported and delete when someone stamped their foot.

I love that this forum has teeth and doesn’t give a fuck ?

 

[letitallout]

Just checked out Alison Perry’s hubby Aka new instadad wannabe.
“Winging it” in bio -
Strong girls club tee
“This one”
“...the shit out of it”
The list goes on. Be original FFS!

 

[ThreeFourFive]

MOD's designs are very, very generic but she is now giving lessons on how to wear a necklace (or even layer a long one and a short one, apparently you put them round your neck, et voila!). Can we not have an ethical mother's day where we absolutely don't spend any money but have homemade cards and breakfast in bed? No, I thought not - cos these so-called influencers, our friends, are all desperately flogging us more and more crap.

 

[Carobee]

Wait for all the international women’s day posts today. You are strong and amazing and girls help girls! (..if you’re in the clique)

 

[Carobee]

CT totally thinks she is Upper Sixth- met her and some other instamums at an event once and she was so sneery and dismissive and looking down her nose at everyone.

Same I met her (well not meet as she didn’t acknowledge me) at an event when the instamums were just starting out I was so nervous and my 6 month old daughter was crawling around & she gave me such evil looks and at one point she stood back and almost stood on her and I said I’m so sorry she’s in the way and she just grunted at me. She’s not a nice person, just out for what she can get. She acted like queen bee then so I can only imagine her ego now.

Now have you also noticed this week they’re all crying about half term? Like seriously mums have been doing this forever. We all need a cry sometimes but don’t put it on insta just for likes. So attention seeking and needy.

 

[Slatternly]

Yes and how revoltingly smug that line up is with its homogenous display of glossy blonde provileage. Yuk.

 

[Exhaustednurse]

NVQ level 2 lot thefashionablepan and themumlifestyled were out yesterday all wearing the same boots.

Their kids were running riot around a restaurant which they thought was hilarious

The fashionablepan has been banging on about an ‘old biddy’ (Nice ageism there) who dared to remind her that her daughter was making an absolute racket the other week.

They are so up their own arses. I suppose that’s what happens when you get to choose a free outfit from the couture power house that is Wallis. Makes you think you can be as entitled as Karl Lagerfeld.

 

[keeprowing]

Genuine question....(and I’m not an instamum- far from it!) if you dislike these people, why do you follow them / watch their stories / consume their content? If I don’t like something or it annoys me, I just stop watching it? I’m honestly interested! It seems bonkers to me to spend my time doing something (following/watching someone) who makes me feel a negative feeling. They are a business....with anything else in life would you keep consuming a product from a business you dislike/don’t believe in?

Speaking personally, it didn’t start out like this. They all started as if they were normal mums, they’ve slowly morphed into these instagram parodies. It’s obvious now they were never normal mums to begin with. But they gained the trust of lots of mums like myself were at home with a baby and felt the need for some company, then slowly betrayed that trust by slyly selling stuff to their followers, pretending to be anxious/poor/suffering with body confidence in an effort to be relatable. Now it’s hard not to keep watching the mess unfold.

 

[Carobee]

Motherlikenother too complaining that Paperchase has Mother Like No Other on one of their products for mothers day. I mean?!! we have used this term since childhood talking about our mum since the 80s she can’t just get in a huff about that. Que the pity party on stories and all the other instamums she sends free jumpers rally around her posting how unfair it is to the small brand. Then next they’ll be at a party..for Paperchase. They have no loyalty, just taking the buck.
So attention seeking the lot of them