New baby and post birth advice #3

[Disneylifeonly]

So after having baby Thomas I didn't think this year could get any better
But yesterday, my boyfriend got down on one knee holding Thomas, and ask if I wanted to make it official and make us a family.
I am now engaged

 

[jamiegirl]

Best advice I can give new or expectant mothers. Let family & friends know in a nice way either before or after the birth a thank you for the well wishes & you'll let them know as soon as your up for a visit.

So many arrive into the hospital and visit at home when you have a new baby. Half he time your too tired, probably not washed or dressed, housework not done, baby needs feeding or changing. Everyone wants to hold the baby. You need sleep & rest and it's perfectly understandable if you dont want unexpected visitors. Especially not ones you havent seen in years, dont really speak to or people that just want a nosey or pic for facebook

I would also say, if you want to announce your babies birth on social media. Ask others not to announce, post pics or names until you have done so first. Seen so many falling out over that

Also, you really dont need half the baby items & gadgets. You really wont use half of them. And dont buy much 0-3 month clothing. They grow out of it before 3 months & dont get to wear half of it

Get babies used.to noise. The worst thing you can do is keep extra quiet, tiptoe & whisper. You just get the baby used to silence & they will wake easier at the slightest sounds. Keep the noise levels, voices, tv, music etc as you always do, so they are used to it from day one

 

[Virgin Media Fan]

Hi so I was a bit of a lurker on the pregnancy thread but had my baby 2 days ago so thought I'd join this one now. Reeeeeeallly just needed to vent because a family member just asked if I was going to start my diet now.... I GAVE BIRTH 2 FUCKING DAYS AGO needless to say I sat and cried when they left, hormones and all that.

 

[Hbirdette]

I had such a strange dream last night. Got a letter addressed to my baby and we’re actually waiting for a hospital appt for him so in my dream I was like ah! Hospital appt! Anyway, nope. I turns out he got a speeding ticket in my husbands car. When I asked my husband why he had insured the baby on his car, he said it’s because he brought the premium down

 

[Kitt]

Successful day and I’m super proud of myself. Drove 30 mins to town, spent an hour there getting bits done, drove 30 mins back. Finn slept there and back and chilled happily awake in his pram whilst in town. All by myself. Going out and about has always been hard for me with my anxiety and today I managed it with a 1 month old and had no anxiety. I’m so proud of myself

 

[Kitt]

Hello, first time posting here for me baby is 3 days old and he’s gorgeous and doing well in so many ways. Unfortunately his cord is infected by the looks of things. I’ve contacted the midwife office and am hoping for a call back but the waiting is annoying. Need him seen today and don’t know what to do in the mean time. I might give it to 12 and call 111 if I don’t hear off a midwife. I want him getting treated today.

 

[Nursty]

I've finally graduated to the new baby thread
I genuinely feel like I've been hit by a train. Don't remember the afterpains being this bad after my first two but I guess I am 10 years older this time around
Can't stop looking at him or photos of him when I should be trying to sleep. Absolutely in love

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Took Hannah swimming for the first time today and she fell asleep in the pool at least she didn't hate it I suppose

 

[Kitt]

Bless my husband. He just took dummies out the steriliser and ran them under cold water so ‘they’d be clean and fresh’. I asked him what he thought the steriliser was for haha. He’s been amazing these last few days and has stepped up so much, I think he just had a major brain fart hahaha

 

[klarakluckbag]

@Definitelyme thanks for checking in on me. I feel okay physically now, emotionally this feeding situation is really starting to get on top of me.

I’m worried it’s my letdown and that’ll mean the end of my feeding journey. I don’t feel my letdown so I don’t know. But it’s not every feed and I thought if it was my letdown it would affect every feed. I could cry. I just don’t know anymore. The midwives are weighing him tomorrow so I’ll have to try and workout and maybe mention my worries to them. I’m so worried they’ll just palm me off and I’ll be left to struggle.

I feel like it could be reflux but I just don’t know. He’s not bringing up loads of milk, he’s recently started bringing up cottage cheese type milk. My partner thinks it’s gas. I’m just so worried about it and I feel like he’s relying on me to advocate for him but the midwife said because he’s not tiny they’re not worried but I am. I’m worried about it, I want him to be cared for just as well as a tiny baby would be. I don’t want him ignored because he’s average weight. I just feel so lost and I’m really starting to spiral x

Just saw your post and had to come and say that you're doing everything right, babies are awkward little buggers, and sometimes your days just seem to be one long, never-ending struggle. This is absolutely normal, I can promise you. I've seen 3 babies in our clinic today, all of whom are doing exactly the same things during their night feeds. It's probably a combination of wind/colic, a little bit of over-feeding (boys are notorious for this, it's just to get your supply up to the next level as they grow so quickly at this age), and general discomfort in the heat. Please don't think that this is the end of your journey, like all of the best journeys, you will occasionally hit a bump in the road!

These days honestly don't last forever, although I know that it can often feel like you take one step forward, then three steps back!
True reflux isn't that common, and symptoms of over-feeding and trapped wind can be similar. If your baby is vomiting after most feeds, and is bringing up more than a teaspoon or so of milk, if the vomit is "frothy" and if it also comes out of their nose, and if they're obviously uncomfortable at most feeds, then it's definitely worth getting checked out by your GP. Babies with reflux also tend to have slow weight gain, so if yours is up to and above BW by day 10-14, it's possibly not reflux. Having said that, no-one knows your baby better than you do, so if in doubt, ask a doctor. We would rather you waste everyone's time, than something serious be missed, so don't rely on Google, but do trust your instincts.

I'd also like to tell you all, that you are amazing! No matter how you feed your baby, no matter how you gave birth, and no matter what you think that you're doing "wrong", you inspire me every day. Women are amazing creatures, and caring for a young baby is the hardest job in the world, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's lovely that you're all so supportive of each other in here, and that you all recognise that this isn't a competition. Long may you flourish ladies, you're all doing a wonderful job!

 

[Hairraiser]

Oh

fuck


My baby is 6 months old.

Just done a pregnancy test and it’s positive.

What the hell do I do now?

 

[Hairraiser]

It does, yeah. Well, more side of it, near the top.
It's every 12 weeks. Much better

Might have to go for that one then. I’m used to injections!

I just wanna say also, thank you to all of those for your support last week. It really means a lot and also is a real testament to yourselves as people because my real life friends weren’t as supportive. Well, they weren’t judgemental or anything but just seemed to turn everything back on themselves so I struggled to open up.
I’m sorry I’m not on this thread much either, I guess as a first time mum sometimes I feel out of my depth & don’t want to say something wrong to another new mum & potentially cause a problem for them. I do try & be supportive where I can for people on here but I have been through a pretty crap time and find it hard to even get up & keep going everyday.
just know, I’m always reading and lingering & it’s lovely to read others supportive responses & how much you’re all smashing it!

 

[Ilando]

Might have to go for that one then. I’m used to injections!

I just wanna say also, thank you to all of those for your support last week. It really means a lot and also is a real testament to yourselves as people because my real life friends weren’t as supportive. Well, they weren’t judgemental or anything but just seemed to turn everything back on themselves so I struggled to open up.
I’m sorry I’m not on this thread much either, I guess as a first time mum sometimes I feel out of my depth & don’t want to say something wrong to another new mum & potentially cause a problem for them. I do try & be supportive where I can for people on here but I have been through a pretty crap time and find it hard to even get up & keep going everyday.
just know, I’m always reading and lingering & it’s lovely to read others supportive responses & how much you’re all smashing it!

Please don’t worry- I can confirm that I’m definitely making it up as I go along.


I’ve just been feeding mine in the dark while eating some dairy milk. Went over to the changing table where there is a nightlight to find that I’ve dropped bits of chocolate which of course have melted all over him! Had to get a cotton bud to gently clean inside his ear

 

[Kitt]

Would you like to know a fail safe way to get my baby to wake up? Make me a cup of tea. It’s like he can sense it.

 

[Babyyoda88]

Hi everyone, I feel like I can finally move over to this thread now by baby girl is home and out of NICU. The times I stayed with her in hospital and last night (first night at home) we can’t put her down to sleep she’ll only sleep on us. I don’t know if one of the reasons is because her next to me crib feels cold to touch (even though the room temperature is correct) can anyone recommend a heat pad or something and has anyone used one before with success?

 

[Kitt]

How are you feeling @Kitt

Day 3 hormones and lack of sleep have kicked in. Feel like I’ve failed him already with his infected cord. And just feel useless that I’m just sat waiting for help and can’t actively do anything for him and he might be in pain and I can’t do anything

 

[Definitelyme]

Hannah does this at around the same time, usually because she is overtired though. Could that be the case with you're wee one? It's taken me this long to work out what her tired ques are so it helps if I can catch it early.

Also some days we go between no poos and 6 a day so I wouldn't worry x

Hannah is in a travel cot while we're away and omg she looks so small

If you tell me where you are I will be right over to snuggle that precious girl all up how adorable is she?!?

ETA: just realised that could have come across really scary I am not stalking you nor planning to jump out of a bush and snuggle your daughter

 

[Hairraiser]

@Hbirdette thank you for thinking of me! That’s really kind.
Unfortunately with everything that happened during my birth & the high risk of death for both me & baby, I had to have a medical termination
I’m absolutely heartbroken but I know it’s what has to be done so that my boy still has a mum. Id had really awful pregnancy symptoms leading up to the termination aswell, I collapsed twice (once while holding my son) so it just isn’t safe for me to continue with a pregnancy this soon since the last one! The consultant did say that there’s no reason why I can’t have another one in a year or so, but if I do I need to be on iron tablets straight away. So all in all abit of a weird week tbh..from being told I’d never conceive naturally to having to do this kind of feels like I’m in a soap opera
Thanks for checking in though, I’m just making up for all the cuddles I’ve missed with my boy.

 

[Definitelyme]

Struggling so much with my 6 week old she’s really unsettled and I can’t put her down without her crying. She’ll fall asleep on me no problem but will wake up as soon as I try and put her in her Moses basket. She has loads of symptoms of silent reflux so we have been prescribed omeprazole (which is an absolute nightmare to give!), went for our 6 week check today with a different dr who said she doesn’t think it’s reflux and she’s just crying because she’s a baby she told me to leave her to cry… has anyone else done this with a baby so young?

Please don’t leave your baby to cry, that is HORRENDOUS advice from the dr. Yes, she’s crying because she’s a baby, but it’s the only way she can communicate. If anyone ever tells you that again ask them if they would like to be ignored when talking to someone, and how would they feel if they were visibly upset and everyone they lived with ignored them until they stopped being upset. Sounds mad, right? But that’s what people are asking mothers to do when they say to leave a baby to cry! At 6 weeks old she is crying because she needs something, and unfortunately a lot of the time that something is to be held.

Have you read up about the 4th trimester? It might reassure you somewhat that not wanting set down is absolutely normal. However, crying all the time definitely would indicate something isn’t quite right. Maybe silent reflux, so persist with the meds, or maybe a cows’ milk allergy (that’s what it was for my son, misdiagnosed as silent reflux at first. He literally cried every second of the day.)

meanwhile to help you cope until it’s worked out, have you got a sling to pop her in so you can have hands free but she’s still cuddled up? It’s so hard when they just won’t settle, I really feel for you. I’ve been there, especially with the aforementioned son, and some days it was just all too much and I would have cried, and even been angry at him, which was my frustration at not being able to do anything to help. But you will get there x

 

[OIM]

So just need to get this out and written down. Since I last posted my baby has had 3 more seizures. One was at nursery pick up for my toddler and resulted in me sitting on the grass in front of all the collecting parents with her in the recovery position deep asleep (she basically passes out after the seizures). I am eschausted. I have been at a and e with her twice yesterday. I am so on edge that these seizures could come at any moment and Ive got myself signed off work until Friday as dont feel I can put her into nursery again until we have a run of a few days seizure free. Ive got an appt with a private dr on Thursday.
I am riddled with guilt about work, about my anxiety towards the baby, I feel guilty I don’t want to be alone with her and I’m terrified to go out with her.