New baby and post birth advice #3

[Easilyannoyed]

Omg went to put our bread and butter pudding in the oven came back and my fiancé has a muslin cloth wrapped round his face and glasses on and the poo explosion was everywhere to the point we have to cut the bodysuit off her she is so happy with herself

 

[Icbaaaa]

I'm just catching up on here! @Disneylifeonly huge congratulations on your engagement @Hairraiser congratulations! How are you feeling today?

On the subject of resentment etc, i totally feel this. My partners been off for a couple of days and today I think he FINALLY realised what it's like being home with the 2 kids. He always used to make comments about me being on maternity, id see what its like when I'm back at work, how he'd rather stay at home with the kids and me go back to work etc etc.
Were currently getting work done in our house so I was sorting through stuff, skip runs etc. I picked up dinner after going to the skip and came in and he absolutely lost it saying how difficult the kids have been today and how he's had them himself etc (I've been at home minus going shopping/skip runs and to pick up dinner). He's saying I need to help more with the kids as he can't handle the 2 kids together.
I'm going to be really selfish here when I say this but finally I'm glad he sees its not all rainbows and butterflies like he imagined it would be, he never spends time with the kids tbh. He'd rather sit on his phone or choose to feed baby over play with my toddler etc. I've told him how difficult it is but was always met with the replies above on me returning to work, on top of having PND and feeling quite unsupported at times this is just the icing on the cake.

 

[Definitelyme]

Hi so I was a bit of a lurker on the pregnancy thread but had my baby 2 days ago so thought I'd join this one now. Reeeeeeallly just needed to vent because a family member just asked if I was going to start my diet now.... I GAVE BIRTH 2 FUCKING DAYS AGO needless to say I sat and cried when they left, hormones and all that.

Oh my goodness that is absolutely VILE behaviour, I’m so sorry that someone said that to you. They are lucky to have been invited over to see your beautiful new baby (so I’m assuming a very close relative) and they have the audacity to be such absolute fuck witted dick heads? Unbelievable

From now on I think we should all vow that when someone asks us if we are going to start our diet we look them dead in the eye and say “why would I need to diet?” I’m sure not many people would have a comeback for that unless they are a total cunt. And if they have the nerve to say anything after that, good luck to them.

 

[Kitt]

Thank you everyone for all the support and info. I’m just gonna go with the flow with Finn and let him tell me how he’s doing and what he needs and try not to worry what the general rule is. I struggle with worrying about doing stuff wrong and my anxiety means I like to be in control and if I don’t know what I’m doing I spiral. Anxiety is worse when I’m tired so this is why I’m like this today. I love Finn, I’m a good mom and I can do this. It’s just new and I’m learning every day. I mustn’t be too hard on myself anymore. Thank you for allowing me to ask lots of questions. I get much more info off here than anywhere else. My mom is a firm believer of ‘let them cry’ so I don’t ask her for advice and I don’t really have anyone else to ask so I appreciate you all a lot.

 

[CrimeJunkie]

Oh lovely this sounds absolutely soul destroying for you. Very hard for you to enjoy having your beautiful baby when every moment is a fight and you are emotionally exhausted.
I would firstly look at the idea of a soy allergy. If he has CMPA soy often goes hand in hand and I know that sometimes they move them to soy formula which could be causing issues.
Next, definitely keep bedsharing safely. I started with my second babe who was as you’ve described yours. Just constant screaming. Have you thought of bed sharing during the day? So when he is tired take him up to bed and snuggle down too? It may give you some extra moments of him sleeping during the day, and I usually would work that up to being able to slip away for 5 minutes and leave them in bed. You can get a cup of tea and your iPad and head back again to watch a box set. I know it’s not ideal, and some days I felt chained to the bloody bed, but if they get that better sleep better moods often follow.

Does movement help him fall to sleep? Would wearing him in a sling help? It would keep him upright and that would help the reflux, and keeping him close may help settle him if you go for a walk or similar. Although I know when they are like this going out is a terrible thought as you don’t want them screaming all the time.
My last tip would be to try cranial osteopathy if you can. It didn’t “fix” my son but I saw a huge difference in him after a few sessions (after the first actually), in that he only screamed 90% of the day, and that extra 10% made such a difference.

I really feel for you, it is so hard. Just so hard. And obviously awful to think they are so distressed and you can’t help. But my heart goes out to you because I’ve been there and it’s just too much some days And you’ve said above you pray it gets better. Oh I promise it will, but that doesn’t make the days now hard and long x

Just wanted to say that you are so so lovely and always offer such good advice

 

[Ilando]

Boy mamas: any advice to avoid the pee fountain happening whilst changing? He only does it to me and not my husband lol

I’ve been throwing a muslin cloth on top. My boy is very talented and has got wee in his mouth and ear this week

 

[Hbirdette]

Oh my god I need to share this. So I’ve just been swimming and afterwards I went for a drink with another woman and her baby. When I was getting dressed I couldn’t find my pants so just thought sod it I’ll go commando as I’m only wearing joggers. When we got to the coffee shop her baby was needing a feed so I said I’ll go get her drink and she waited with the bags.
so there I am, stood with my baby in a carrier and I pulled my phone out my pocket to pay, ALONG WITH MY FUCKING PANTS. the person behind me said ooh don’t worry I’ll get that for you, I think they realised what they were picking up when they got to the floor. When I tell you I wanted to die (they were clean pants) hahahaha whyyyyyyy did this happen to me

 

[Ilando]

Husbands first time using the carrier and this happened he wasn’t amused!

Someone might have already suggested this as I’ve not read the full thread but have you tried giving your baby infacol? It makes it much easier for them to burp. It’s worked brilliantly for my VERY windy 4 week old

Do you give two doses or just one? Can’t tell if using double as the box suggests makes any difference

 

[OIM]

Baby OIM update. We should be discharged later today. She’s gone all night without the feeding tube. She’s had about 6oz of milk since 7 last night but managed some purées and water so they feel there’s nothing they can do here that we can’t do at home. I’m excited to get her home but also terrified of her deteriorating. They seem pretty sure she’s at the end of bronchiolitis and that’s why she’s off her food plus teething. We won’t know much more about her seizures until we see the specialists in October. Just crossing everything she won’t have another before then.

 

[Hairraiser]

My baby is asleep I’m still awake my partner has my fucking pillow and I’m freezing oh and I forgot to tumble dry the bed cover so tonight we have only the bottom sheet and pillow cases I really struggle at night you’re not on your own x

I’m 7 months in & can totally remember these days like they were yesterday. The first few weeks I was so anxious but only at night time! So odd, as during the day I felt confident, taking baby out in his pushchair, feeding when he needed it, changing nappies etc. Don’t get me wrong, it was hard adjusting to my new role but I certainly felt like I was doing ok! Then bam, soon as we eaten tea, I’d start crying. Worried that I wouldn’t wake up for him if he cried, he’d soak the cot and I wouldn’t know, he’d stop breathing and I wouldn’t know. Gosh I remember feeling so anxious at one point I thought I was having a heart attack, my chest felt so tight! Plus, I found the darkness quite eery, I’d been so used to the hospital noises at night & knowing I had help whenever that being just the two of us with him at night was so scary, so I can totally sympathise! The only thing that helped me was watching old series of love island, i felt invested in other people’s lives for a moment while baby slept and I could switch off. It was nice!
Just know that you’re not alone in these feelings, and it does get better! I’m sure you’ve been told that many times, I know I did. But it’s so true, things start to become more natural, and you’ll even start to look forward to the nighttime routine, it’ll give you a little bit of me time while baby is happily asleep. Even if it’s just scrolling through your phone in bed, it’s a chance to rest ready to do it all again tomorrow. But I would like to add, god forbid if your feelings don’t start to get better please go & speak to someone, there is absolutely no shame in it, it speaks volumes as a mother if you notice you are struggling & need help, everything you do is for your little bundle of beautiful ness I’m sure!
I have recently reached out for support (had a traumatic birth, suffering ptsd) and it’s the best thing I did, as now I have the appropriate people keeping an eye on me and making sure that my boy has a healthy mum. I’m really shocked at how much the ptsd has affected me not only mentally but physically too, I get horrendous headaches at times that can render me useless & I have to rely on his dad but I know he’s in safe hands!
Just know that we’re all here for you if you need us

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I put my big girl pants on today & called my GP. Since the twins coming home I've noticed a huge drop in my milk supply. I'm talking around a loss of 150ml each session. I'm currently expressing to exclusively bottle feed. Anyway, the stocks I'd built up during NICU have now totally gone & I've spent the last two nights panicking they'll starve and lose weight. I hate calling my gp, he's very dismissive. I just hope when he calls back he can prescribe me the tablets too boost my supply & the formula the babies need to supplement for the time being. I had a right cry to the receptionist, and then remembered it really doesn't matter how they're fed, they're bloody home!

 

[LilyRose1234]

Has taken me 90 minutes to settle baby to sleep - she wasn’t crying but just smiled at me every time we made eye contact She’s now asleep on me on the sofa and we need to move upstairs to our room. The fear is real

 

[Hbirdette]

Sat in the car on the way to swimming. Baby B hasn’t had a nap and he’s been up since 6. Pray for me he’s not gonna know what’s hit him

 

[OIM]

Thank you ladies. We have been admitted for the night. She’s only had 4oz of milk all day so there’s talk of a drip. Fingers crossed we can turn a corner and be home tomorrow

 

[Greys1324]

I’ve been having a really bad few days with my baby, constant screaming that’s she’s hungry and then screaming when I try to feed her but today she rolled over for the first time! I nearly cried I was so proud of her and forgot how much of a pain she’s been
I’m sure I’ll remember tonight when she has me up every couple of hours!

 

[allforthegram]

All week I’ve been walking into every room thinking what an absolute state. My little one just doesn’t seem to nap for more then 30 seconds a day it feels…. So today she finally went down for a good 2 hours, I thought great I can get things done.
You know what I did.
Absolutely f all with a cup of tea. I think I actually slept with my eyes open.

 

[Definitelyme]

Just a wee moan from me…

Baby is a car crier. 3 out of 4 of my babies have been, and it makes life just that little bit more difficult than it should be. My parents kindly take my toddler on a Wednesday so I have all day free until the school run. But getting out to do errands is pretty much impossible as he screams the whole time in the car. Or if I go at nap time that’s fine, but if it’s only a 20 min car journey then he only sleeps for that 20mins, then he’s exhausted, and then 20 mins of screaming on the way home I dunno what part of my kids is broken to make them cry in the car and not enjoy it like other babies

 

[Hbirdette]

Thank you for the advice on weaning ladies

Swimming was a success! No tears, he just looked completely knackered but still lots of smiles cause of covid you’re not allowed to use the lockers, stupid really, so that was annoying that I had to bring everything to poolside

 

[Ilando]

Don’t you just love when they’re fed, changed and sleepy and then they do a massive fart and their bottom feels warm

 

[Kitt]

So my long ass baby isn’t going to fit in 0-3 months for that long. His legs are pretty much filling the legs and his feet are bigger than the foot bit. In terms of width, the clothes are huge cause he’s not chunky but he’s so long that nothing will fit soon. He’s 17 days old!