New baby and post birth advice #3

[wakametango]

Your story sounds so much like mine. I have since wondered if I should have given in (or tried harder to find an expert working through Covid) as the first weeks I put myself through hell, compromising those early days and I don’t know if it was worth it. I am still feeding now @ 7 months, we did get there though.

You’ve had such fab input but just a couple of things I’d add from my experience would be don’t judge your supply on what you can pump. You can have an excellent supply and not be able to pump. I’ve never even leaked yet my supply is perfectly fine. The only way to judge is weight gain.
Also, after her tongue tie, as others said, my girl was really fussy at the boob, it wasn’t a supply issue, just relearning. She also took in a lot of air by fussing making her uncomfortable after a feed. Took me a while to cotton on to that.
I had a tendency to make everything about not enough milk but after supplementing her with formula, it wasn’t that, she was just unsettled like so many babies can be and possibly has CMPA.
If you do supplement with formula for one or two feeds, it doesn’t mean your journey over, plenty of people combi feed. I did it for the first month or so, a formula feed every other day probably, then stopped with the CMPA diagnosis and it was fine. Just keep monitoring her weight and it will tell you what you need to do.

You may not be the same as I was, so ignore if so but I was obsessed. The fundamental thing, to feed my baby, I was failing at and I absolutely would not be beaten by it no matter how painful, upsetting, difficult it was for me because I wasn’t failing my daughter. Ridiculous to think now, (though Covid meant no weighing after the first few weeks which didn’t help) but looking back I wish I could have been less frantic and looked at things more clearly to realise there were other explanations for the problems and loads of signs she was perfectly nourished I was being blind to.

I really appreciate your input. It’s really helpful for me to hear other people’s experiences.
She’s having formula after every feed with me to top her up, the idea was to lower the formula but she guzzles it down and is having 30mins breast, 65ml formula and can still be unsatisfied so often gets more formula afterwards.
Can’t see how my supply will be enough when she’s still crying after 65ml!?
Midwife coming today and HV Thursday so hopefully have a new plan in place soon
I really don’t know if it makes a difference but she was born 9.4lb so will she want/need more!?

also we slept on the sofa together for about 3.5 hours last night (I had her double barrell locked in with my arms) and it was so lovely

 

[Definitelyme]

I really appreciate your input. It’s really helpful for me to hear other people’s experiences.
She’s having formula after every feed with me to top her up, the idea was to lower the formula but she guzzles it down and is having 30mins breast, 65ml formula and can still be unsatisfied so often gets more formula afterwards.
Can’t see how my supply will be enough when she’s still crying after 65ml!?
Midwife coming today and HV Thursday so hopefully have a new plan in place soon
I really don’t know if it makes a difference but she was born 9.4lb so will she want/need more!?

also we slept on the sofa together for about 3.5 hours last night (I had her double barrell locked in with my arms) and it was so lovely

Bigger babies don’t need more, don’t worry. I’ve had babies ranging from 7lbs 6 to 9lbs and they all eat roughly the same way from me. I actually kind of see it as the opposite - a teeny babe will need to eat more to grow grow grow, whereas a bigger one has already done a load of that growing so just snacks along keeping going. I don’t think that’s true at all though just something I made up!!!

 

[wakametango]

Bigger babies don’t need more, don’t worry. I’ve had babies ranging from 7lbs 6 to 9lbs and they all eat roughly the same way from me. I actually kind of see it as the opposite - a teeny babe will need to eat more to grow grow grow, whereas a bigger one has already done a load of that growing so just snacks along keeping going. I don’t think that’s true at all though just something I made up!!!

OH just woke up and said she had 120ml last night and I had to take over at 3:30 because she was so unsettled and she had 30 more mins BF with me
She’s insatiable!!

 

[LilyRose1234]

OH just woke up and said she had 120ml last night and I had to take over at 3:30 because she was so unsettled and she had 30 more mins BF with me
She’s insatiable!!

I can’t remember if you’ve said sorry but how often are you BF her? Do you do it after a set time (eg every 2 hours) or when she cues? Only because mine is a cluster feeder - midwife said it would usually be during a growth spurt etc but she goes through a good few hours every day where she cluster feeds and then cluster feeds all day during a growth spurt. I always think “how can you possibly still be hungry” but she just has these hours where alll she wants is milk. If I don’t she screams and screams like she’s never been fed. It’s so disheartening but apparently is normal If you’re already doing this then please ignore me but just thought it might be helpful to know you’re not alone! If she does cluster feed I think that helps with supply as well

 

[Definitelyme]

And remember ladies a lot of sucking is for comfort too

 

[orange club biscuit]

Are you using re usable breast pads? I found them much more absorbant than the disposable ones!

Yeah I am! I don’t know how good they are tbh, they were quite cheap from Amazon. Maybe I just need to accept the extra washing from now on…!

 

[Kitt]

Baby has gone from being happy going to sleep in his bassinet to only being happy going to sleep on mommy. We just tried to put him in the sling so I could be hands free while he’s like this but we couldn’t get it right. I knew slings would stump me! We have the close Cabo light, it’s supposed to be an easy one.

firstly, pretty normal for him to just want to fall asleep on me right? Secondly, any sling/carrier tips?

 

[LilyRose1234]

Baby has gone from being happy going to sleep in his bassinet to only being happy going to sleep on mommy. We just tried to put him in the sling so I could be hands free while he’s like this but we couldn’t get it right. I knew slings would stump me! We have the close Cabo light, it’s supposed to be an easy one.

firstly, pretty normal for him to just want to fall asleep on me right? Secondly, any sling/carrier tips?

How old is he now? My little girl went through the first few weeks being happy in her crib/Moses basket to only settling on me. Very normal fourth trimester behaviour! After a week or so she went back to mostly sleeping in her crib at night. In the daytime she usually sleeps either on the bed with me if I watch tv, in her sling or the pram/car seat if we’re out. I have a premade sling, pop it on like a t shirt and it’s quite straightforward once you’ve done it once or twice!

 

[Disneylifeonly]

So after having baby Thomas I didn't think this year could get any better
But yesterday, my boyfriend got down on one knee holding Thomas, and ask if I wanted to make it official and make us a family.
I am now engaged

 

[LilyRose1234]

And remember ladies a lot of sucking is for comfort too

Took 10 weeks but I’ve finally cottoned on that she’s feeding for comfort, because she’s hot/cold, tired, uncomfortable, just wants a cuddle

So after having baby Thomas I didn't think this year could get any better
But yesterday, my boyfriend got down on one knee holding Thomas, and ask if I wanted to make it official and make us a family.
I am now engaged

Congratulations!! What a beautiful ring

 

[WhatABore]

So after having baby Thomas I didn't think this year could get any better
But yesterday, my boyfriend got down on one knee holding Thomas, and ask if I wanted to make it official and make us a family.
I am now engaged

Awww congratulations

 

[Kitt]

How old is he now? My little girl went through the first few weeks being happy in her crib/Moses basket to only settling on me. Very normal fourth trimester behaviour! After a week or so she went back to mostly sleeping in her crib at night. In the daytime she usually sleeps either on the bed with me if I watch tv, in her sling or the pram/car seat if we’re out. I have a premade sling, pop it on like a t shirt and it’s quite straightforward once you’ve done it once or twice!

He’s 11 days old and he’ll go down eventually in his crib or bassinet but has to be on me to actually fall asleep. If we just pop him down he’ll fuss after a few minutes. Would you be able to tell me what brand your premade sling is? I thought the one I’d bought was like that but it’s a bit more complicated than I thought.

So after having baby Thomas I didn't think this year could get any better
But yesterday, my boyfriend got down on one knee holding Thomas, and ask if I wanted to make it official and make us a family.
I am now engaged

congratulations!!!

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Yeah I am! I don’t know how good they are tbh, they were quite cheap from Amazon. Maybe I just need to accept the extra washing from now on…!

Can recommend the lanisoh or close parent ones they are good!
But yes extra washing are probably a given anyway feel like my washing machine is never off....more to do with the explosive nappies than milk leaking tho

 

[Ilando]

This parenting business is full of so much worry isn’t it!


5 week old will sleep for much longer on me than in his crib (I know this is normal). But the problem is that I can’t have him lie on me for an extended time and not fall asleep myself. I hate the worry that I’ll fall asleep and something bad will happen.

It’s either have him have 1 hour naps in his crib or let him sleep on me and he’ll nap for 3 hours but I’m taking a risk

 

[Definitelyme]

Baby has gone from being happy going to sleep in his bassinet to only being happy going to sleep on mommy. We just tried to put him in the sling so I could be hands free while he’s like this but we couldn’t get it right. I knew slings would stump me! We have the close Cabo light, it’s supposed to be an easy one.

firstly, pretty normal for him to just want to fall asleep on me right? Secondly, any sling/carrier tips?

Totally normal have you watched any YouTube videos of putting the close caboo on?What was the problem when you had it on?

@Disneylifeonly huge congratulations!!!!

This parenting business is full of so much worry isn’t it!


5 week old will sleep for much longer on me than in his crib (I know this is normal). But the problem is that I can’t have him lie on me for an extended time and not fall asleep myself. I hate the worry that I’ll fall asleep and something bad will happen.

It’s either have him have 1 hour naps in his crib or let him sleep on me and he’ll nap for 3 hours but I’m taking a risk

Could you let him fall asleep on you in your bed, then transfer him down so he’s beside you? Then if you fall asleep too hes on the safer surface than a chair/sofa (assuming that’s where you are at the minute)

 

[wakametango]

I can’t remember if you’ve said sorry but how often are you BF her? Do you do it after a set time (eg every 2 hours) or when she cues? Only because mine is a cluster feeder - midwife said it would usually be during a growth spurt etc but she goes through a good few hours every day where she cluster feeds and then cluster feeds all day during a growth spurt. I always think “how can you possibly still be hungry” but she just has these hours where alll she wants is milk. If I don’t she screams and screams like she’s never been fed. It’s so disheartening but apparently is normal If you’re already doing this then please ignore me but just thought it might be helpful to know you’re not alone! If she does cluster feed I think that helps with supply as well

Don’t worry I’m taking all the advice I can!
So I BF her every 3 hours and I will give it to her whenever she wants it too. My sister in law told me about growth spurts yesterday too.
My partner was exasperated with her last night as he fed her 120ml formula so I took over and gave her even more breast milk. I know putting her on whenever will increase my supply

on her 3 hourly feeds she always finishes her 65ml forumla afterwards, sometimes more

 

[Chickenandgravy]

I can’t remember if you’ve said sorry but how often are you BF her? Do you do it after a set time (eg every 2 hours) or when she cues? Only because mine is a cluster feeder - midwife said it would usually be during a growth spurt etc but she goes through a good few hours every day where she cluster feeds and then cluster feeds all day during a growth spurt. I always think “how can you possibly still be hungry” but she just has these hours where alll she wants is milk. If I don’t she screams and screams like she’s never been fed. It’s so disheartening but apparently is normal If you’re already doing this then please ignore me but just thought it might be helpful to know you’re not alone! If she does cluster feed I think that helps with supply as well

Not alone with this, cluster feeding is so bleeping difficult and something I think midwifes should make people more aware of. I would've panicked had my sister and law not told me about it, her wee girl was literally on her for near enough 24 solid hours one day

 

[Definitelyme]

Don’t worry I’m taking all the advice I can!
So I BF her every 3 hours and I will give it to her whenever she wants it too. My sister in law told me about growth spurts yesterday too.
My partner was exasperated with her last night as he fed her 120ml formula so I took over and gave her even more breast milk. I know putting her on whenever will increase my supply

on her 3 hourly feeds she always finishes her 65ml forumla afterwards, sometimes more

It sounds like you’re working really hard at this, you should be so proud of yourself It’s not easy at all, and you’re giving it everything you’ve got. My only advice with bf is honestly stick a boob in there every time they start to grizzle even a tiny bit, even if it’s only 10 mins since the last feed, just pop her in every time she squeaks. Even if she only gets a little bit each time it all adds up. Some babies do feed more “snacky” than others. I know plenty of babies would happily go 3 or 4 hours between feeds but mine have always been snackers and like to have it every 3-4 minutes! So maybe your girl is the same if she is after frequent feeds?

 

[Chickenandgravy]

It sounds like you’re working really hard at this, you should be so proud of yourself It’s not easy at all, and you’re giving it everything you’ve got. My only advice with bf is honestly stick a boob in there every time they start to grizzle even a tiny bit, even if it’s only 10 mins since the last feed, just pop her in every time she squeaks. Even if she only gets a little bit each time it all adds up. Some babies do feed more “snacky” than others. I know plenty of babies would happily go 3 or 4 hours between feeds but mine have always been snackers and like to have it every 3-4 minutes! So maybe your girl is the same if she is after frequent feeds?

I know people have said this before but honestly your advice is second to none you're like the mother hen of this thread ( I mean that in a nice way btw )

 

[Definitelyme]

I know people have said this before but honestly your advice is second to none you're like the mother hen of this thread ( I mean that in a nice way btw )

You are far too kind. Meanwhile I’m over here with my own kids, not a clue what to do with them half the time!