Ah that’s a good idea. I’ll film it if he does it tonight then if she palms me off I’ll contact someone else, maybe the gp in case it’s reflux @Chickenandgravy
Thank you both!
New baby and post birth advice #3
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Thank you both!
@123456!!12/ sounds like you are one tired mummy. I hate the feeling when you get annoyed with them, you know rightly it’s not their fault, but exhaustion and frustration can just build up on us at times. Don’t feel bad about it.
The others are right to say the 10-1 today was probably cluster feeding. At this stage baby will often do that to make sure your supply is increasing in line with their needs. It can be tough going, especially with an older child to care for as well. Best advice is to set yourself up on the sofa and feed feed feed. A box set and lots of snacks too. Your midwife gave you horrendous advice
definitely don’t listen! You’re right that ignoring their little cues at this stage just isn’t right. It’s a sure fire way to destroy a breastfeeding relationship as well.
At night, how often is baby feeding? And what cues are there before you lift to feed? If baby has been crying it may be that they are just too upset to settle at the breast straight away, and the fussing is actually frustration at milk not flowing as soon as they latch. You could try expressing a little bit of milk on to your nipple, or on to their lip, to encourage more sucking.
There is usually a wee growth spurt around 3 weeks which can definitely cause some fussy behaviour, so it could be somewhat down to that. How is baby’s weight gain and wet/dirty output?
The others are right to say the 10-1 today was probably cluster feeding. At this stage baby will often do that to make sure your supply is increasing in line with their needs. It can be tough going, especially with an older child to care for as well. Best advice is to set yourself up on the sofa and feed feed feed. A box set and lots of snacks too. Your midwife gave you horrendous advice
definitely don’t listen! You’re right that ignoring their little cues at this stage just isn’t right. It’s a sure fire way to destroy a breastfeeding relationship as well.At night, how often is baby feeding? And what cues are there before you lift to feed? If baby has been crying it may be that they are just too upset to settle at the breast straight away, and the fussing is actually frustration at milk not flowing as soon as they latch. You could try expressing a little bit of milk on to your nipple, or on to their lip, to encourage more sucking.
There is usually a wee growth spurt around 3 weeks which can definitely cause some fussy behaviour, so it could be somewhat down to that. How is baby’s weight gain and wet/dirty output?
@ me tomorrow evening if I don’t reply. I barely remember to wee these days let alone check tattle.
my LO is showing signs of reflux (choking/gagging then swallowing) at times unrelated to the fussy BF, we’re combi do this is when I get the formula (want to eradicate it though) x
@Definitelyme Thank you for replying! I don’t think I was 100% clear in my original post, I was feeding from 10-1 today because he kept unlatching, arching and screaming and not settling. I’m quite lucky, my partner has another week off so he’s been taking a majority of the care of our older one but I’m so worried that come next Thursday I’ll be struggling to feed because of the screaming and dealing with my toddler.
Baby’s feeding change night to night, sometimes he’ll do 2 mammoth feeds that last an hour or so but other times he snacks so is up every hour but only feeds for 10/15 mins at a time. I try and get to him as soon as he starts shows signs, like the rooting and starting to get quite fidgety (I really try not to let him get to the stage where he’s upset just because it makes everything so much harder and stressful).
His weight gain is really good, he lost 8% at day 5 but was above birthweight at 2 weeks so they were really happy with that. He has really wet nappies (I’ve put that down to the sheer amount of time he spends nursing) and every nappy seems to have poo in it. We change him before every feed to make sure he’s as alert as possible before a feed during the day but at night we try to change him slightly less and do it in as darker room as possible.
I’m not sure if it’s relevant, but I was recently put on antibiotics because my c-section wound is infected. The doctors told me it can affect the taste of my milk, could it be that?
Idk what to do anymore or what to try. I feed him at an angle so his head is higher than his legs, we give infacol, I feed more reclining (in case it’s oversupply or forceful letdown). I’ve been on a mad google at 3am worrying I’ve got oversupply or forceful letdown because of his symptoms
Baby’s feeding change night to night, sometimes he’ll do 2 mammoth feeds that last an hour or so but other times he snacks so is up every hour but only feeds for 10/15 mins at a time. I try and get to him as soon as he starts shows signs, like the rooting and starting to get quite fidgety (I really try not to let him get to the stage where he’s upset just because it makes everything so much harder and stressful).
His weight gain is really good, he lost 8% at day 5 but was above birthweight at 2 weeks so they were really happy with that. He has really wet nappies (I’ve put that down to the sheer amount of time he spends nursing) and every nappy seems to have poo in it. We change him before every feed to make sure he’s as alert as possible before a feed during the day but at night we try to change him slightly less and do it in as darker room as possible.
I’m not sure if it’s relevant, but I was recently put on antibiotics because my c-section wound is infected. The doctors told me it can affect the taste of my milk, could it be that?
Idk what to do anymore or what to try. I feed him at an angle so his head is higher than his legs, we give infacol, I feed more reclining (in case it’s oversupply or forceful letdown). I’ve been on a mad google at 3am worrying I’ve got oversupply or forceful letdown because of his symptoms
Sounds like you are working hard at this, you have a very lucky little boy to have such a caring mummy
Antibx can definitely cause issues, so it could be that. It can make their tummies really bad, so I guess cause discomfort too. And sorry to hear about your infection, I hope you’re feeling ok within yourself? C section recovery is hard going without adding all this extra on top. It’s great that your husband has longer off
I did wonder about over active letdown, as it can cause all the things you mentioned. Can you feel your letdown happening? If so does the fussiness start then? The way I read your previous post was that it’s as soon as you latch him on, and if so that would indicate that may not be the issue. And if weight gain isn’t over approx 1oz a day then it probably isn’t overactive letdown (from what I know, most of which I have gleaned from other much more knowledgable mums!)
It honestly sounds to me like you are doing everything you can at the minute, and you’re so clued in to what’s happening with your little boy. I would trust your gut instinct here. If you think it’s reflux definitely speak to GP. X
Omg I don’t know if it’s this hot weather or what but baby has been feeding aaall day, the most she’s slept was about 90 mins this morning. She drifts off whilst feeding and then when I try and put her down she’s screaming furiously she’s napped on me a bit but I am dreading tonight. And when I was changing her earlier I got her all clean ready for a new nappy then she weed all over herself, the mat and the floor this happened twice today!
(these is no point to this post other than to vent and also I really want a glass of wine but then I’m too scared to have her sleeping with us tonight)
she’s napped on me a bit but I am dreading tonight. And when I was changing her earlier I got her all clean ready for a new nappy then she weed all over herself, the mat and the floor this happened twice today! (these is no point to this post other than to vent and also I really want a glass of wine but then I’m too scared to have her sleeping with us tonight)
Ugh and when it’s hot and they are on you constantly it’s so sticky and sweaty! I hope tonight is better than the rest of the day was xOmg I don’t know if it’s this hot weather or what but baby has been feeding aaall day, the most she’s slept was about 90 mins this morning. She drifts off whilst feeding and then when I try and put her down she’s screaming furiously
(these is no point to this post other than to vent and also I really want a glass of wine but then I’m too scared to have her sleeping with us tonight)
The heat makes such a difference! Tomorrow looks to be a bit cooler so hopefully that will be better for you.Omg I don’t know if it’s this hot weather or what but baby has been feeding aaall day, the most she’s slept was about 90 mins this morning. She drifts off whilst feeding and then when I try and put her down she’s screaming furiously
(these is no point to this post other than to vent and also I really want a glass of wine but then I’m too scared to have her sleeping with us tonight)
Could you have a wine spritzer? It’s pretty much all I will drink now! Feels like I’m joining in but a lot less alcohol
I’ve not had more than 1 drink since having my baby as I’m too worried about not being able to care for himI know, I googled it (bad idea) and obviously all the advice is to drink as little as poss with all the scary stuff about sids etc as usual, understandably so! A spritzer is a great idea though, I may get on that tomorrow. And yes praying for the cold weather we complained about last weekThe heat makes such a difference! Tomorrow looks to be a bit cooler so hopefully that will be better for you.
Could you have a wine spritzer? It’s pretty much all I will drink now! Feels like I’m joining in but a lot less alcohol
thank you
I think we’ve been lucky so far tbh so I shouldn’t complain but it’s hard when they’re attached to you 24hrs a day!@Definitelyme thanks for checking in on me. I feel okay physically now, emotionally this feeding situation is really starting to get on top of me.
I’m worried it’s my letdown and that’ll mean the end of my feeding journey. I don’t feel my letdown so I don’t know. But it’s not every feed and I thought if it was my letdown it would affect every feed. I could cry. I just don’t know anymore. The midwives are weighing him tomorrow so I’ll have to try and workout and maybe mention my worries to them. I’m so worried they’ll just palm me off and I’ll be left to struggle.
I feel like it could be reflux but I just don’t know. He’s not bringing up loads of milk, he’s recently started bringing up cottage cheese type milk. My partner thinks it’s gas. I’m just so worried about it and I feel like he’s relying on me to advocate for him but the midwife said because he’s not tiny they’re not worried but I am. I’m worried about it, I want him to be cared for just as well as a tiny baby would be. I don’t want him ignored because he’s average weight. I just feel so lost and I’m really starting to spiral x
I’m worried it’s my letdown and that’ll mean the end of my feeding journey. I don’t feel my letdown so I don’t know. But it’s not every feed and I thought if it was my letdown it would affect every feed. I could cry. I just don’t know anymore. The midwives are weighing him tomorrow so I’ll have to try and workout and maybe mention my worries to them. I’m so worried they’ll just palm me off and I’ll be left to struggle.
I feel like it could be reflux but I just don’t know. He’s not bringing up loads of milk, he’s recently started bringing up cottage cheese type milk. My partner thinks it’s gas. I’m just so worried about it and I feel like he’s relying on me to advocate for him but the midwife said because he’s not tiny they’re not worried but I am. I’m worried about it, I want him to be cared for just as well as a tiny baby would be. I don’t want him ignored because he’s average weight. I just feel so lost and I’m really starting to spiral x
Oh lovely, if it is forceful letdown it doesn’t mean the end of your feeding journey at all! It takes a bit of time, but I’ve had two friends who’ve successfully managed to improve the situation so they could feed much more easily. Block feeding was the main way they did that, so you could have a look at that if you think it may help. And with very frequent feeding you may not have such a forceful letdown each feed, which may explain that discrepancy.
I remember with my eldest son he just “wasn’t right” but because he was putting on weight well they kept saying nothing was wrong. I went to a lactation consultant and that definitely helped us sort through the issues we had, so that’s something to consider if you think it would be worth seeking out some extra help?
Whatever the issue is, there is help available, and there can be a solution to it all which keeps you guys feeding well
Right with you on this. We went on an evening dog walk and cried most of it about how I’m dreading the night feeds as she suddenly won’t be put down after feeding, I’ve just been having her in bed to get some shut eyeOmg I don’t know if it’s this hot weather or what but baby has been feeding aaall day, the most she’s slept was about 90 mins this morning. She drifts off whilst feeding and then when I try and put her down she’s screaming furiously
(these is no point to this post other than to vent and also I really want a glass of wine but then I’m too scared to have her sleeping with us tonight)
@123456!!12/ sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time! For what it’s worth my little one had similar issues (and still does every now and again). We found it was trapped wind as she had no other reflux symptoms and it wasn’t consistent every feed or even every day! To stop her grizzling I found dentinox worked, along with a warm bath (even in the middle of the night!) massaging her belly. I’m adamant it was partly because of the evening cluster feeds (constantly on and off the boob so taking in air) and a poorer latch where I was so tired and slouching in bed. It’s really awful and I completely feel for you!! I’d really recommend trying the dentinox though (it has worked well for us, although could be a placebo type effect) and definitely persist with the midwife/HV!!
Ended up doing a walking feed as we’ve had the same issue today with the heat and she wouldn’t stop crying on the walkRight with you on this. We went on an evening dog walk and cried most of it about how I’m dreading the night feeds as she suddenly won’t be put down after feeding, I’ve just been having her in bed to get some shut eye
Was filling up one of the formula pod dispensers and bloody knocked one over trying to put the lid on. This is what I get for trying to be smart by filling all the pods then adding the lids lastly (instead of doing it right after the pod is filled) 
ive had a very similar day. Baby boy hasn’t settled much at all, I’m blaming the heat too. The one time he settled and was looking to have a good sleep, the midwife arrived and disturbed him and he didn’t settle properly after she left. He’s currently just falling asleep on my legs (sweaty) but at least he’s drifting off. Ugh just wrote that and he’s changed his mind and he’s not happy again.Omg I don’t know if it’s this hot weather or what but baby has been feeding aaall day, the most she’s slept was about 90 mins this morning. She drifts off whilst feeding and then when I try and put her down she’s screaming furiously
(these is no point to this post other than to vent and also I really want a glass of wine but then I’m too scared to have her sleeping with us tonight)
My main issue is when he does fall asleep, usually on me, when I put him down he just wakes up again and that’s it, he’ll refuse fall asleep again til after his next feed.
Also husband said today he wouldn’t fall asleep when I needed support when Finn wasn’t sleeping well (had a terrible night last night and I felt so alone as he just slept through it all). Finn’s fussy right now and husband is lay next to me fast asleep. Great.
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I did mean I cried most of the walk but actually so did she!@123456!!12/ sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time! For what it’s worth my little one had similar issues (and still does every now and again). We found it was trapped wind as she had no other reflux symptoms and it wasn’t consistent every feed or even every day! To stop her grizzling I found dentinox worked, along with a warm bath (even in the middle of the night!) massaging her belly. I’m adamant it was partly because of the evening cluster feeds (constantly on and off the boob so taking in air) and a poorer latch where I was so tired and slouching in bed. It’s really awful and I completely feel for you!! I’d really recommend trying the dentinox though (it has worked well for us, although could be a placebo type effect) and definitely persist with the midwife/HV!!
Ended up doing a walking feed as we’ve had the same issue today with the heat and she wouldn’t stop crying on the walk
Could have written this myself 🤍
Nearly 26 degrees in my bedroom with the windows open wide to the wall looks like like night in just a nappy for the wee one, she's so unsettled and been a bit sick. Bloody heat
looks like like night in just a nappy for the wee one, she's so unsettled and been a bit sick. Bloody heat 
Just saw your post and had to come and say that you're doing everything right, babies are awkward little buggers, and sometimes your days just seem to be one long, never-ending struggle. This is absolutely normal, I can promise you. I've seen 3 babies in our clinic today, all of whom are doing exactly the same things during their night feeds. It's probably a combination of wind/colic, a little bit of over-feeding (boys are notorious for this, it's just to get your supply up to the next level as they grow so quickly at this age), and general discomfort in the heat. Please don't think that this is the end of your journey, like all of the best journeys, you will occasionally hit a bump in the road!
These days honestly don't last forever, although I know that it can often feel like you take one step forward, then three steps back!
True reflux isn't that common, and symptoms of over-feeding and trapped wind can be similar. If your baby is vomiting after most feeds, and is bringing up more than a teaspoon or so of milk, if the vomit is "frothy" and if it also comes out of their nose, and if they're obviously uncomfortable at most feeds, then it's definitely worth getting checked out by your GP. Babies with reflux also tend to have slow weight gain, so if yours is up to and above BW by day 10-14, it's possibly not reflux. Having said that, no-one knows your baby better than you do, so if in doubt, ask a doctor. We would rather you waste everyone's time, than something serious be missed, so don't rely on Google, but do trust your instincts.
I'd also like to tell you all, that you are amazing! No matter how you feed your baby, no matter how you gave birth, and no matter what you think that you're doing "wrong", you inspire me every day. Women are amazing creatures, and caring for a young baby is the hardest job in the world, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's lovely that you're all so supportive of each other in here, and that you all recognise that this isn't a competition. Long may you flourish ladies, you're all doing a wonderful job!
Aw, this is lovelyJust saw your post and had to come and say that you're doing everything right, babies are awkward little buggers, and sometimes your days just seem to be one long, never-ending struggle. This is absolutely normal, I can promise you. I've seen 3 babies in our clinic today, all of whom are doing exactly the same things during their night feeds. It's probably a combination of wind/colic, a little bit of over-feeding (boys are notorious for this, it's just to get your supply up to the next level as they grow so quickly at this age), and general discomfort in the heat. Please don't think that this is the end of your journey, like all of the best journeys, you will occasionally hit a bump in the road!
These days honestly don't last forever, although I know that it can often feel like you take one step forward, then three steps back!
True reflux isn't that common, and symptoms of over-feeding and trapped wind can be similar. If your baby is vomiting after most feeds, and is bringing up more than a teaspoon or so of milk, if the vomit is "frothy" and if it also comes out of their nose, and if they're obviously uncomfortable at most feeds, then it's definitely worth getting checked out by your GP. Babies with reflux also tend to have slow weight gain, so if yours is up to and above BW by day 10-14, it's possibly not reflux. Having said that, no-one knows your baby better than you do, so if in doubt, ask a doctor. We would rather you waste everyone's time, than something serious be missed, so don't rely on Google, but do trust your instincts.
I'd also like to tell you all, that you are amazing! No matter how you feed your baby, no matter how you gave birth, and no matter what you think that you're doing "wrong", you inspire me every day. Women are amazing creatures, and caring for a young baby is the hardest job in the world, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's lovely that you're all so supportive of each other in here, and that you all recognise that this isn't a competition. Long may you flourish ladies, you're all doing a wonderful job!
Thank you guys. Honestly, it’s good to know that even when it feels like nobody is listening or helping that there’s a little community on here that seem to bend over backwards to give advice and make me feel a little less tit. I really appreciate everyone pulling me out of the spiral I was heading down x
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