New baby and post birth advice #29 If you burn your butt, you have to sit on the blisters

[calmyourritas]

Hello everyone! I’m back!

It’s been a crazy few days - Mr Rita and I got married 👰‍♀️ and it’s been my birthday! Thanks for all your lovely messages you tagged me in, so much appreciated

Baby Rita was a delight on the day - she actually slept most of it so I didn’t get as many pictures with her as I would have liked. BUT I would rather that than her to be screaming all day! And the main thing is that she was there

Feeing so blessed… feels like a dream and as per the last thread title being a mum really is the best present, I couldn’t have asked for more. My life feels complete with my little family

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

I know it's not really baby related but I need to offload. I got some really upsetting news when I got home today that a very close family friend (she was like my second mum growing up, I was at her house constantly) died suddenly last night. I'm in such shock and finding it really hard to parent well although baby cuddles are very soothing.
I also live a long way from where she lived and where the funeral will be and have no idea how I'd logistically get there with the kids but I also can't imagine not attending because she was such a big part of my life.

Mostly though I'm thinking of her children (one is one of my best friends) and can't stop crying, they are going to be in so much pain.
Bleugh, life is just shit and unfair sometimes.

 

[Borntorun]

KW is home after working away for a week. I’d hoped the novelty of his reappearance would keep the kids occupied enough for me to have a bath by myself and shave my legs….. I was gone approximately 0.134 seconds before I hear Toddler Runners little voice…
TR: Mummy I’ve got a problem
Me: Okay, can daddy fix it?
TR: No, because my problem is I miss you

 

[Trombolese]

We have just found out that Mr T has lost his job, which is the latest shit thing to happen this year. We are going to have to put our plans of buying a house on hold until he can find something else, so we will be at his mums for the foreseeable. I’m so sick of all of the bad news we have got this year with family members being ill, losing the first house we were buying etc, I’m trying to stay positive but sometimes it’s hard to be and I just think how much more can go wrong. I’m so desperate for our own space, I feel like my life is all in boxes everywhere and the reality is we will still probably be here this Christmas, I also feel guilty for the baby not having his own room and things have been chaotic since he arrived, I just want a proper home for him and sometimes I feel like such a failure as a mum for not being able to provide that. Mr T will only going to get 1 months worth of redundancy pay, so pretty soon my monthly pay is going to have to cover everything, so that’s something else to stress about. Sorry to offload on here just needed to vent.

 

[Lulu Goss]

Sorry to rant on a Friday night but here I go anyway…

Mr G mentioned a few times earlier this week that he might go for a drink after work today (he’s wfh). Every time he’s mentioned it I’ve said that it’s not really fair when baby has been so ratty this week and I’ve not had a break, it would be nicer if he helped out a bit instead. Bedtimes are a fucking nightmare, last night it took me 2.5 hours to get her to sleep. Today it took me 2 hours to get her to nap, with her screaming and crying for most of it, which he saw. I literally sat there and said to him I can’t do this twice a day every day any more it’s ridiculous. He said ohh ok maybe I won’t go out then...

5 o clock rolls around and he says he’s going out His argument is that I didn’t flat out tell him no. To which I answered, because I’m not your mum?! He also made a big deal of not wanting to let people down which summed everything up for me because I told him he’s more bothered about other people even though he’s now letting me down by sodding off for the evening, leaving me with a miserable hot teething baby and a horrible bedtime to do alone again. The fact he doesn’t even think he’s in the wrong winds me up even more!

 

[jackolantern]

I feel like I’ve been on the edge of tears nearly all day after receiving a WhatsApp message that begins ‘here’s some unsolicited advice…’ from someone in my antenatal class (ie another first time mum). I had never before felt like I was doing a shit job as baby author seems a pretty happy and contented little chap on the whole, and I’m a pretty strong believer in all babies are their own selves so what works for one won’t work for another, but now I’ve completely lost all my confidence.

Sorry I just had to write down how I’m feeling somewhere. Mr Authors response is to just not reply, but I was meant to see this woman tomorrow and at random coffee meet-ups so our paths will cross again. I hate that her stupid message has got to me so much.

Reply saying reciprocated unsolicited advice - go fuck yourself x

 

[Borntorun]

ETA: kids are bastards though and will always choose the ugliest, creepiest baby doll as their big love rather than anything nice

I think dolls get uglier with love too. Like Toddler Runner loves Baby Annabell, who looked fine initially. But she’s been loved so much that the ink has rubbed off her features and now she looks horrific

Baby Annabell: how she started vs how she looks now…

 

[Definitelyme]

For the past few months since nursery orange had to breathe through her mouth because nursery have her a new cold illness every week she will wake up if she is uncomfortable just give calpol etc the fever is what is more
Concerning so just watch her temp I know it’s scary but she will be ok xx


Orange has a straw and she thinks it’s ace because it pops out

Yes, ToddlerMe is particularly enamoured with the spring up lid on one of our bottles. Sadly, he then tips all the water out … the other day he did it in a restaurant all over the carpet.


Oh flip me ladies, forgot this gem from today!! So after dinner, because it was 9000°C, I stripped the beast off, nappy and all, and set him free. I was watching him out the window as we tidied up, and saw a familiar face. Got some wipes and went to clean up the poo which was all down his leg So I said to KW “I’ll put a nappy on him” as he usually poops once every few days, and does a load at that time. But nothing in the nappy when he went up for his bath. I was tidying the garden, lifted his sun hat and went "why is this wet?"
HE MANAGED TO SHIT IN HIS SUN HAT I dunno how, what a talent he has Also found a nice pile of poo beside his sun hat on the grass, like he was a dog. Think he is now classed as totally feral.

 

[miss_americana]

Thank you for the love for our NICU visit yesterday. I almost didn’t go in but I did and it was really lovely to see some of the nurses who looked after her and I’m glad we went.
But then a day of two halves as that afternoon Mr L
got a call and his dad had died suddenly. He was in his 80s and his health wasn’t great so we knew we didn’t have loads of time left but not that it would happen this fast. Mr L is absolutely devastated and I’m such a problem sorter but I can’t make this better. It’s just so shitty.

 

[Definitelyme]

Had a bit of an embarrassing day today, I was sat tandem feeding the Kray Twins at lunchtime, when I heard my front door open, thought nothing of it as i knew it'd be my dad (he has a key) anyway, he walks into the living room and right behind him is my 90Yo Grandad, Twin 1 sees Great Grandad and whips herself off the boob that fast she could've launched herself to Mars, que huge letdown & my poor Grandad seeing my saggy udder. I don't know who was more mortified, my dad, my grandad or me

After we commiserate (and stop laughing ) I think everyone here needs to take a minute to just clap and cheer for this incredible mummy, who has been through the wringer this last year and yet is still TANDEM FEEDING at just shy of a year!!! What an amazing achievement! MamaTY, you’re an absolute inspiration! (Not to your grandad I’m sure )

 

[I’mThankyou_]

In the eyes of my local authority, twin 2 is like any other baby.
Has no extra needs, needs the exact same amount of care as any other 11 month old, and our house is a decent size & is safe for her, and they won't allocate the funding for equipment for her.
I'm so fucking done with this country and their bullshit red tape to excuse giving the most vulnerable in society the help they need.

Sorry. Needed to vent my anger somewhere before I punch my car window through

 

[Author123]

I feel like I’ve been on the edge of tears nearly all day after receiving a WhatsApp message that begins ‘here’s some unsolicited advice…’ from someone in my antenatal class (ie another first time mum). I had never before felt like I was doing a shit job as baby author seems a pretty happy and contented little chap on the whole, and I’m a pretty strong believer in all babies are their own selves so what works for one won’t work for another, but now I’ve completely lost all my confidence.

Sorry I just had to write down how I’m feeling somewhere. Mr Authors response is to just not reply, but I was meant to see this woman tomorrow and at random coffee meet-ups so our paths will cross again. I hate that her stupid message has got to me so much.

 

[Trombolese]

Knobwaffle rant incoming I’ve been looking after baby T solo this week whilst Mr T was working which is fair enough, but it’s been quite hellish with really long days where baby T has been fighting every nap due to the heat and then has been overtired and screaming at everything, and he’s been waking up 1-2 times every night this week so I’m bloody knackered. All of my energy has been going in to trying to keep the baby cool and happy and I haven’t left the house or seen anyone because it’s too hot, so I was looking forward to getting a bit of respite today because Mr T has the weekend off, but he’s just said that he’s going to his dads to watch football so I’m going to be alone all day with the baby again. He didn’t even tell me, I overheard him telling his mum. Yesterday I was telling him how tired I am after this week, and he was like “just go to bed” and this was whilst baby T was still wide awake as if I could ever do that. I’m so annoyed, I said to him that I don’t get to just go off and do what I want, and asked him when I get time to have hobbies and he just had nothing to say back to that. I love baby T so much but there’s more to me than just being his mum, but at the moment that’s all I am. I met up with my best friend the other week who I’ve barely seen since having baby T, she doesn’t have kids and she had loads of interesting things to say and I couldn’t think of anything which just made me feel a bit shit. Anyway, he’s still going out and leaving me to it, might have to put him in the bin.

 

[calmyourritas]

It’s Rainbow Baby Day today so sending all the love to all the amazing rainbow babies and their mummas on here

 

[jackolantern]

Everytime someone tells me I’ve made a rod for my own back by never being able to put Tommy down, I’ve started saying “good, a rod where my child is loved and feels safe instead of screaming himself to sleep in a dark room alone while his parents sit on Facebook” then they be like

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Why am I crying at Bluey?
I'll tell you for why, they've done an episode on preemie babies, and you have to be "the bravest you've ever been" and it just made me sob like a crazy woman.
I think the sun's got too me

 

[wakametango 2.0]

Why wouldn’t she have just lied

but overall was it a good session for her? How did you feel?

Tbf I told them not to lie to me as I’ve got 3 weeks to settle her so I’m no rush to extend her days (I’ve actually been a nightmare so they’re probably scared of me) & I think I caught her off guard. She said that today she actually was okay and played lots, I suggested breakfast on Monday and she said call again at 10 because if she’s been fine then she should stay for lunch too as she could have stayed longer today aswell. I’m okay. Unfortunately I can’t quit work so it has to be done but I know she’ll enjoy it in time
She refused to let me go in the car park so we stood hugging for about 5 mins 🥹

 

[wakametango 2.0]

Getting ready to head out for the day so asked mr waka what backpack he wanted for the baby stuff he said ‘well it’s not like she really needs anything is it’
No no, just snacks, water, nappies, nappy bags, spare clothes, a ziploc bag for dirty clothes, sunscreen, hat, bib, toys to entertain her if we go to eat, even more water for her, comfort dolly, dummy for emergencies, muslin for makeshift shade in the van, nothing at all 🫠

 

[WhatABore]

Sometimes I regret kids.

Driving in the car and the 4yo says "Mummy. I need to you take this off me"
So me driving, I put my hand back so she can put whatever it is in my hand.
Snot.
It was snot.
A bit thick slimy bit of snot she wiped onto my hand.

 

[a.pain]

Had a total moment today when picking baby up from nursery. Maybe I sound totally dramatic, but when I came in the front door I could hear her crying from down the stairs, not unusual as she seems to melt down a bit at pick up time as she’s still getting used to the long days and sleeping there etc. But when I went in the room she was sat in the middle of the carpet crying her eyes out all alone my heart just sank and I ran and scooped her up. There was an older lady worker there with some of the older babies, she was sat a few metres away from my baby and had the others on her lap. Then the other girl came through and apologised and said she had been happy and she just put her down to go to the toilet because she was bursting and she had started crying just while she was in the toilet. She then started saying my baby had recently been quite clingy to her and wanting to be near her all the time and she had only been crying for a minute. And then she said you could guarantee the minute they pop the baby down to go to the loo would be the moment the parent arrives. I was just a bit upset and left without really talking to her. They are a good nursery, I know that and every other time I’ve picked her up she was being cuddled. I know they rock her to sleep. They have spent lots of time with her trying to get her to take a bottle. And I know they have 2/3 babies per worker and they won’t be able to get them every time. But I still feel the older lady could have picked her up considering the other babies weren’t upset. It’s so hard because she could be happy all day and I don’t really see that you just have to have trust that they’re fine and then the one moment you do see them they’re upset and alone and that’s all you have to go on. Just feel so rotten.