New baby and post birth advice #29 If you burn your butt, you have to sit on the blisters

[wakametango 2.0]

I feel like I’ve been on the edge of tears nearly all day after receiving a WhatsApp message that begins ‘here’s some unsolicited advice…’ from someone in my antenatal class (ie another first time mum). I had never before felt like I was doing a tit job as baby author seems a pretty happy and contented little chap on the whole, and I’m a pretty strong believer in all babies are their own selves so what works for one won’t work for another, but now I’ve completely lost all my confidence.

Sorry I just had to write down how I’m feeling somewhere. Mr Authors response is to just not reply, but I was meant to see this woman tomorrow and at random coffee meet-ups so our paths will cross again. I hate that her stupid message has got to me so much.

I’m not just saying it because I’m online and acting brave but I honestly would never reply or acknowledge her again in my life. Life is too short to let someone make you feel like tit. I wouldn’t want her or her righteous self anywhere near me. Ever.
ETA I’m aware mr relationships and friendships are a model for baby Waka. I wouldn’t let her see anyone disrespect me nor would I want her to see someone giving advice where it wasn’t asked for and making others feel inadequate

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

It was about napping- Baby Author is not the biggest fan so naps tend to be v.short and majority of the time on me. But on the flip side he sleeps well at night so whilst it would be nice to have some time to myself during the day, and not always connected to a baby, he’s not going to nap forever and his night sleep is good so I haven’t been fussed about trying to nap train. Obviously this approach isn’t for everyone but it seems to work for us.

This other lady’s approach is much stricter on wake windows and as soon as 90min (for example has passed) she immediately puts the baby down for naps In the pram/crib with blackout/white noise machine etc. And that’s great for her if that works for her and her baby.

I’m just absolutely shaken that she felt the need to comment, and was self aware enough to realise it was unsolicited advice but ploughed ahead with it anyway.




This is what Mr Author thinks too.

Im currently scrolling through photos of baby author trying to reassure myself that I have a happy and healthy baby and that I’m not doing anything wrong. But have to admit I’m beginning to get increasingly angry at the woman.

You are giving baby author exactly what she uniquely needs. That’s the best kind of mum-ing there is

 

[jackolantern]

I feel like I’ve been on the edge of tears nearly all day after receiving a WhatsApp message that begins ‘here’s some unsolicited advice…’ from someone in my antenatal class (ie another first time mum). I had never before felt like I was doing a tit job as baby author seems a pretty happy and contented little chap on the whole, and I’m a pretty strong believer in all babies are their own selves so what works for one won’t work for another, but now I’ve completely lost all my confidence.

Sorry I just had to write down how I’m feeling somewhere. Mr Authors response is to just not reply, but I was meant to see this woman tomorrow and at random coffee meet-ups so our paths will cross again. I hate that her stupid message has got to me so much.

Reply saying reciprocated unsolicited advice - go duck yourself x

 

[wakametango 2.0]

Reply saying reciprocated unsolicited advice - go duck yourself x

With a cactus x

 

[jackolantern]

With a cactus x

Tbf her baby probably sleeps well because they are trying to escape their twit mother

 

[sodit]

I feel like I’ve been on the edge of tears nearly all day after receiving a WhatsApp message that begins ‘here’s some unsolicited advice…’ from someone in my antenatal class (ie another first time mum). I had never before felt like I was doing a tit job as baby author seems a pretty happy and contented little chap on the whole, and I’m a pretty strong believer in all babies are their own selves so what works for one won’t work for another, but now I’ve completely lost all my confidence.

Sorry I just had to write down how I’m feeling somewhere. Mr Authors response is to just not reply, but I was meant to see this woman tomorrow and at random coffee meet-ups so our paths will cross again. I hate that her stupid message has got to me so much.

[/QUOTE]

Cheeky fucker hope supernanny’s kid is a little tit tomorrow and she has to cry off early x

 

[orange club biscuit]

It was about napping- Baby Author is not the biggest fan so naps tend to be v.short and majority of the time on me. But on the flip side he sleeps well at night so whilst it would be nice to have some time to myself during the day, and not always connected to a baby, he’s not going to nap forever and his night sleep is good so I haven’t been fussed about trying to nap train. Obviously this approach isn’t for everyone but it seems to work for us.

This other lady’s approach is much stricter on wake windows and as soon as 90min (for example has passed) she immediately puts the baby down for naps In the pram/crib with blackout/white noise machine etc. And that’s great for her if that works for her and her baby.

I’m just absolutely shaken that she felt the need to comment, and was self aware enough to realise it was unsolicited advice but ploughed ahead with it anyway.




This is what Mr Author thinks too.

Im currently scrolling through photos of baby author trying to reassure myself that I have a happy and healthy baby and that I’m not doing anything wrong. But have to admit I’m beginning to get increasingly angry at the woman.

You are most definitely not doing anything wrong! Baby author sounds 100% normal tbh.

I had a similar experience when my cousin’s wife took it upon herself to send a document with some hardcore sleep training instructions (literally it was like close the door and ignore them until dawn 🫣) after she saw me and thought I ‘looked tired’ (I was fine!). Fortunately for her she wasn’t brave enough to tell me this to my face but sent them via my mum. I totally lost my tit!

 

[Belle Amie]

Honest to god, I’m at a loss with it all I think we have the MAM version but I think she’s totally off teets in general. I’m slightly debating taking nail scissors and widening a hole on one of her hard plastic sippy cups at this rate. We have so many different brands and she just loves the doidy, but she just cannot do it without it going everywhere and I’m also wondering what the hell we are going to do when we are out and about now

I’ll have a look into the nuby as I know we haven’t tried that one, thanks lovely!!! I can’t stop laughing how difficult using a straw is

I bought the nuby one cause we’re refusing all bottles and he actually drinks from it! Doesn’t leak either when he drops it & he can hold it himself.

Everyone else experiencing the return of the sweaty gammon baby? He wants to be rocked to sleep but my days

 

[PrincessShark]

Some people are twats, I don’t see why motherhood has to be so competitive

I was at a breastfeeding group the other week and no word of a lie, a mother who’s baby was the same age as BabyShark said to me ‘my baby has loads of hair, look she has it tied up! Yours has none ha ha ha’ I got up and moved away from her I’m very proud of BabySharks tufts thank you 🥹

You are doing a fab job @Author123
Keep your head held high and pretend it doesn’t bother you!

 

[Crazycatlady18]

Why are people so obsessed with whether your babies sleeps or whether they’re breast fed. Like what difference does it make to anyone?! I’ve never understood it, you do get asked some really bizarre questions when you become a mum and everyone’s an expert

 

[orange club biscuit]

I bought the nuby one cause we’re refusing all bottles and he actually drinks from it! Doesn’t leak either when he drops it & he can hold it himself.

Everyone else experiencing the return of the sweaty gammon baby? He wants to be rocked to sleep but my days

oh I’ve got an angry sweaty ham on my hands tonight! I’ve actually taken inspiration from @Borntorun and am currently lying in baby biscuit’s cot with her mr biscuit videoed me climbing out of it on the baby monitor earlier 🥷

 

[Borntorun]

Some people are twats, I don’t see why motherhood has to be so competitive

I was at a breastfeeding group the other week and no word of a lie, a mother who’s baby was the same age as BabyShark said to me ‘my baby has loads of hair, look she has it tied up! Yours has none ha ha ha’ I got up and moved away from her I’m very proud of BabySharks tufts thank you 🥹

You are doing a fab job @Author123
Keep your head held high and pretend it doesn’t bother you!

The things mums get competitive about blows my mind. Like I know someone who makes it a competition how many teeth her child has. Like… ok?! Literally who cares?!

 

[Definitelyme]

@Author123 so she thinks you are somehow doing the whole parenting thing wrongly because you are responding to your baby, and meeting their needs as they present them… meanwhile she is doing what SHE likes, screw what her baby may actually need? Not only is she a rude witch, she’s a stupid one as well. Do not doubt yourself for a single second, lady. You are doing what’s right for you and baby Author and that’s all that matters.

I saw a thing this week that was along the lines of
“The only opinions about my parenting that count are the opinions of my children”. As long as your LO is happy, healthy and thriving, that’s what matter. Not what some twit face thinks.

@onlyheretoorbit Have you a designated team you can reach out to when your MH declines? X

Some people are twats, I don’t see why motherhood has to be so competitive

I was at a breastfeeding group the other week and no word of a lie, a mother who’s baby was the same age as BabyShark said to me ‘my baby has loads of hair, look she has it tied up! Yours has none ha ha ha’ I got up and moved away from her I’m very proud of BabySharks tufts thank you 🥹

You are doing a fab job @Author123
Keep your head held high and pretend it doesn’t bother you!

Should have said “oh yes, baby gorillas have loads of hair too hahaha” and obvs the ha but with a death stare. Cheeky cow. Wtf is wrong with people?!

You’ve confirmed my suspicions. And everything I’ve read about newborn sleep is that it’s changeable, and that’s what we’ve experienced too. Think I’ll pass and read elsewhere online / trust some of my instincts

She slept a bit on me today and then we moved her to her box (downstairs crib) and she was fine for an hour or so and then I think gas pains started and she woke up. She was also eating and hungry a lot. She ate and then fell asleep for a bit again but woke up. Then I think she just got way too overtired.

She clearly wanted breast and then when presented pushed away from it and cried but with her mouth open like she was going to latch. Couldn’t get her to latch and she just got way more frustrated so we gave her some formula and that helped satiate her but not settle her like it hadls in the past, I think also during the heatwave.

We’ve also just switched up the sound on the sound machine and that seems to have done the trick. I watched her eyes close in seconds. Let’s see how this works. I’m more relaxed with this music on than the sound of the womb which really started to grate on me.

I love that she’s alert and awake and active. but she also needs to sleep for her development.

Could you express a little before starting to feed her so that the milk is there ready to go? Maybe she is getting annoyed at having to work for it rather than have it come straight to her?

 

[Littleelf]

It was about napping- Baby Author is not the biggest fan so naps tend to be v.short and majority of the time on me. But on the flip side he sleeps well at night so whilst it would be nice to have some time to myself during the day, and not always connected to a baby, he’s not going to nap forever and his night sleep is good so I haven’t been fussed about trying to nap train. Obviously this approach isn’t for everyone but it seems to work for us.

This other lady’s approach is much stricter on wake windows and as soon as 90min (for example has passed) she immediately puts the baby down for naps In the pram/crib with blackout/white noise machine etc. And that’s great for her if that works for her and her baby.

I’m just absolutely shaken that she felt the need to comment, and was self aware enough to realise it was unsolicited advice but ploughed ahead with it anyway.




This is what Mr Author thinks too.

Im currently scrolling through photos of baby author trying to reassure myself that I have a happy and healthy baby and that I’m not doing anything wrong. But have to admit I’m beginning to get increasingly angry at the woman.

Oh she can piss of.

You're doing whats right for you. Just because she does something different doesn't give her the authority on bleeping nap time. Ignore her, don't meet her for coffee and duck her right off.

I've contact napped with both mine and had lots of comments from family and freinds that used to upset me, with my first I did listen and tried so hard to get her to nap alone. Tried and failed, and felt like a tit mum doing it. I won't accept those comments this time around. Unless that particular person is also stuck underneath you and the baby while the baby sleeps why does it bother them at all?? Who cares what anyone else does if the babies are thriving? This is why I avoid mum freinds in real life

 

[Belle Amie]

oh I’ve got an angry sweaty ham on my hands tonight! I’ve actually taken inspiration from @Borntorun and am currently lying in baby biscuit’s cot with her mr biscuit videoed me climbing out of it on the baby monitor earlier 🥷

Is this a new thread trend Climbing in babies cribs to get them to sleep I wish I could climb in the next to me

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

@Author123 so she thinks you are somehow doing the whole parenting thing wrongly because you are responding to your baby, and meeting their needs as they present them… meanwhile she is doing what SHE likes, screw what her baby may actually need? Not only is she a rude witch, she’s a stupid one as well. Do not doubt yourself for a single second, lady. You are doing what’s right for you and baby Author and that’s all that matters.

I saw a thing this week that was along the lines of
“The only opinions about my parenting that count are the opinions of my children”. As long as your LO is happy, healthy and thriving, that’s what matter. Not what some twit face thinks.

@onlyheretoorbit Have you a designated team you can reach out to when your MH declines? X



Should have said “oh yes, baby gorillas have loads of hair too hahaha” and obvs the ha but with a death stare. Cheeky cow. Wtf is wrong with people?!

I’m under the perinatal team but they’re not great tbh, they just tell me my meds are all OK so I should just keep a log or something
i don’t know if it’s a bipolar thing, a post natal thing or just the general state of the world tbh.

I’ve told Mr O and he’s home all weekend so I should get a few hours break.

 

[jackolantern]

Everytime someone tells me I’ve made a rod for my own back by never being able to put Tommy down, I’ve started saying “good, a rod where my child is loved and feels safe instead of screaming himself to sleep in a dark room alone while his parents sit on Facebook” then they be like

 

[Borntorun]

Is this a new thread trend Climbing in babies cribs to get them to sleep I wish I could climb in the next to me

Well I’ve got a baby who feeds to sleep and wakes the minute you set her down. So if I need need need time without her contact napping I climb into the cot, feed her to sleep, then try and climb out like a ninja on the whole I don’t bother though. I love a contact nap. They’re only small once and eventually they stop sleeping on you. And no one ever tells you when it’s the last time they’ll sleep on your chest, it just happens one day, and that’s it. And god I missed it when toddler runner stopped

 

[Rxt156]

I’m not just saying it because I’m online and acting brave but I honestly would never reply or acknowledge her again in my life. Life is too short to let someone make you feel like tit. I wouldn’t want her or her righteous self anywhere near me. Ever.
ETA I’m aware mr relationships and friendships are a model for baby Waka. I wouldn’t let her see anyone disrespect me nor would I want her to see someone giving advice where it wasn’t asked for and making others feel inadequate

You are a much better person than me. I wish I a nicer person ha ha. I would have told her to bugger off then never speak to her again

Honestly @Author123 these people think they know it all when in reality they do not have their tit together at all. They just want us to think they have. I hope you’re ok. Please ignore the message. Xx

 

[ThePidge]

It was about napping- Baby Author is not the biggest fan so naps tend to be v.short and majority of the time on me. But on the flip side he sleeps well at night so whilst it would be nice to have some time to myself during the day, and not always connected to a baby, he’s not going to nap forever and his night sleep is good so I haven’t been fussed about trying to nap train. Obviously this approach isn’t for everyone but it seems to work for us.

This other lady’s approach is much stricter on wake windows and as soon as 90min (for example has passed) she immediately puts the baby down for naps In the pram/crib with blackout/white noise machine etc. And that’s great for her if that works for her and her baby.

I’m just absolutely shaken that she felt the need to comment, and was self aware enough to realise it was unsolicited advice but ploughed ahead with it anyway.

oh she can wind her neck right in. Do not meet her, as you don’t need people like that in your life, starting a message like that does not come from a good place either and being a first time mum is difficult enough without these types of comments.

If you’re happy, the baby is happy, then don’t change a damn thing. You also don’t need to remind or reassure yourself of what a good job you’re doing either. Baby author is thriving, he’s fed, he’s happy, he’s clean, he sleeps of a night time- that’s huge!!! So from another first time mum, keep going, you’re doing great!