Jack Monroe #234 A Grifty Kind of Self-Love

[Veronicaaa]

Cheesetrosity lol

 

[colouredlines]

Desperately trying to catch up for a few days. Why does her hair have so much texture, and her food so little??? It really jumps off the page at you; touching it would take you back in time to the school disco, slow dancing with a boy whose hair was absolutely crunchy with gel. Not a good look, ya prune!

Spoiler: me rail

I did a chaos recently, I was a contestant on a TV show here and after it was screened I went viral(!!!).I didn't actually watch it because I hadn't enjoyed the filming day, but suddenly videos of me were appearing on meme accounts, people were sending me links to Tiktok and Twitter threads about me, creepy men were trying to add me on Facebook etc etc. I was even on some news sites (in the shit news section though). It's been very surreal.

Now I got a lot of nice messages from people, but I'm 1000% sure that there were plenty of shitty comments made about me. No one directly sent me anything mean, though, so I just...didn't go looking. I didn't read any of the comments anywhere, unless someone tagged me, then I just hit like and left the page. I glanced at the first tweets/videos/whatever then didn't read the subsequent threads. I didn't scour all social media for comments about the show to start online arguments. I didn't do a Thread 31, basically.

And it was so, so easy. Because really, I don't give a shit what random people online think of me. I care about my friends, and they all had a laugh and loved the way I came across. But people I don't even know and am never going to meet? Nah. It made me think of Tattle, and Jack and all the others who obsessively read what's posted here, and TBH I pity them. It's a form of self-flagellation - why do it?

PS my friends who kept sending me links saying "oh my god look, you're on X account!" NEVER sent me any negative comments, like Jack claimed happened with Tattle back in the day. Because unlike Jack's friends, they a) are nice people, and b) exist.

 

[MancBee]

I have finally caught up, and can hardly believe what I have seen and read over these 30-40 or so pages. I know, I should be accustomed by now, but every day there is new nonsense that is worse that anything that has gone before. That make up and hair really is dreadful. It is not quirky or fun, it is embarrassing.

A quick thanks for all the lovely messages. I am doing fine. I loved my hedonistic couple of days. Old enough to know better and paying for it now, but that was a one off. Can't say it won't happen again. Can't say I won't regret it again. But that is what makes us human.

Back to Jack. It is the self absorbed, attention seeking, money grabbing, tone deaf, laziness, I can't get over.

Jack thinks that being fed up because things aren't going her way is a MH condition. It is why the lights are on and off quicker than a nightclub strobe. (do they still have them?) It is life, we all fed up from time to time. Especially when, as in Jack's case, our long term aims clearly are not going to happen.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Oh you mean you cook it the way it's meant to be cooked? And explain it simply? More fool you, squig!

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Mr Krabs]

Current scene from the bungalow as a crack team work around the clock trying to get a single Wordpress site back online.

 

[Boyo]

Wasn’t me, I swear…

 

[Pocahontas]

Perhaps it was LJC looking for the last of her Brexit tins.

 

[Ninch55]

Google “burglary before tax return” it’s up in the government website on the list of reasonable excuses. Yes, I’m cynical. No, I’m not about to apologise.

 

[Veronicaaa]

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Her ex (Allegra?) Saying she's not butch enough for that jacket, it's a ubiquitous biker style jacket. Everyone wears them, particularly non butch women. The extra studs just make it a biker jacket with jazz hands eg, not butch.
It's about as butch as Freddie Mercury doing crazy little thing called love (vroomm vroooommmm)

@Shawads mate, if she didn’t have that lie story the jacket, how else would she shoehorn the jacket and the value of it and being found in a muddy puddle into conversation?

With Jack, it’s never just - I was shopping in Zara and saw this beautiful jacket, so I decided to splurge and buy it as a gift to myself.
It’s always ‘My ex told me that I looked too fat/butch/femme/frail/thin in this jacket, but being the plucky smol twat that I am, I trudged home upset when my shopping trolley got caught in something in a puddle. And the jacket was there. I saw it as a sign, took it home and you’ll never guess what. IT WAS THE SAME ONE. I rang my best friend who happens to also be my therapist and they said I should just keep it and then rattle the jar on Twitter for the same one in brown.’ Jokes on you, ex.

 

[colouredlines]

Maybe the burglars took the locks, alarms, and cameras she had trained on the garage, too?

 

[Silver Linings]

No enjoyment here. That is terrible, Jack, and coming off Twitter is the right thing to do.

and getting home insurance.

 

[Flash123]

Sensible squiggle is going to get the wrath here!

 

[Flash123]

I love that taxman is peeking out from above the mask. He’s always watching

 

[Hollaaa]

Crimes against cheese.

 

[Django]

This is honestly like a soap opera.

Fuck me!!!

Was it really only yesterday when we were mithering on about cheese sauce and now we are being implicated in a crime scene. Exciting times!

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

View attachment 952463

Is she… implying Tattlers broke into her shed and ransacked it? Really? Come on…

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

For anybody who might be finding the recent picture of Jack posted hard to deal with here is an actual picture of her.

Spoiler: TW MH

Once again, this is a challenging time for many. If Jack wants to discuss her MH she should warn people and use TW. Insomnia, particularly that caused in part by depression or other condition, is no joke. It does not allow you to get up and faff around with hair dye for hours. It leaves you writhing in the dark, wondering when the night will end, your mind picking over every word you have spoken or written to others, in the depths of shame. When the light eventually comes, (in winter, that time being agonisingly further away) it takes everything for you to be persuaded into a shower. But, if she can muster the energy to dye her hair, then put on a face of make up, take a load of selfies and reply to people on the hellsite then credit where credit is due. d

 

[ecdb]

Greek haired person here. Can confirm it’s the same as non-Greek hair and doesn’t require an additional amount of hair dye.