Jack Monroe #234 A Grifty Kind of Self-Love
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oh, yes. love vanessa here too! think I might have recounted this story ages ago on here, but whatever
10ish years ago, me and mr kcc were wandering around london, it was june and sweltering. we got to the top of regent street and thought, here's a nice set of steps to sit down on and have a fag break. a very vivacious blonde lady gave us a big smile as she went to work and that's when we realised that it was vanessa feltz and we were sitting on the steps outside broadcasting house
I cannot hold this in any longer.
Jack, that is NOT how you make cheese sauce. Sticking random cheeses in a blender then adding a concoction of other random shite isn't how you make cheese sauce.
Holy bleeping tit, she can't cook at all can she?
Jack dearest, have you ever heard of a roux?
I can't cope with her parading herself as a bleeping chef when she can't even make a cheese sauce. I dread to think how she makes macaroni cheese. Please tell me she doesn't just melt cheddar over elbow macaroni or I will simply cry.
I used to sort of like Jack but this has broken me.
Jack, that is NOT how you make cheese sauce. Sticking random cheeses in a blender then adding a concoction of other random shite isn't how you make cheese sauce.
Holy bleeping tit, she can't cook at all can she?
Jack dearest, have you ever heard of a roux?
I can't cope with her parading herself as a bleeping chef when she can't even make a cheese sauce. I dread to think how she makes macaroni cheese. Please tell me she doesn't just melt cheddar over elbow macaroni or I will simply cry.
I used to sort of like Jack but this has broken me.
Surely if it’s still snarly you’d ask the crack team who’d spent 168hrs working on it, to explain why it still isn’t working?!
Wonder if the website chaos is GDPR compliant related (as in it’s obviously not)?
I decorated my mask. I hope I look special and unique now
I decorated my mask. I hope I look special and unique now
omg Anon, did you see the lasagna she made on Daily Kitchen Live?? I’d try and find the link for you, but I fear it might break you even more.
Well, if, as according to her wooden-based calculations, 80% of the website has survived as it was pre 2018, then what the actual fuckity duck has she been doing in the past 3 years?!?!??
lazy cow, it must be something to do with looming HMRC chaos …
lazy cow, it must be something to do with looming HMRC chaos …
No, please don't, I beg you. I don't think I can take it.
I am speechless, an out of date website. She will have to pull her socks up with uni if she loses her work, there is no crack team to save it. I've only lost (once) about a third of an essay and that was enough to encourage me to save it both on and off hardrives and email it to myself until I finished education.
Current scene from the bungalow as a crack team work around the clock trying to get a single Wordpress site back online.
I'm getting confused here tbh
so, the website is fixed but still broken and requires a crack team (that's step up from j1g etc [I'm sorry!])
there are squigs questioning her majesty's wisdom and the #letdownlarder has degenerated into a defence of ill thought out cheese sauce?
honestly, just give it all up, babe. we can find hobbies. probably.
so, the website is fixed but still broken and requires a crack team (that's step up from j1g etc [I'm sorry!])
there are squigs questioning her majesty's wisdom and the #letdownlarder has degenerated into a defence of ill thought out cheese sauce?
honestly, just give it all up, babe. we can find hobbies. probably.
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Guess we now know why Cerys was on the kitten name shortlist a month or two back...
For the love of slop don’t give her ideas
that is probably tastier and more reliable than any of the poisoning pixie's recipes.
But what about sausagne? Worst lasagne adaption ever?
Cheap sausages, chopped tomatoes straight out of the tin
I had a look at the website and the first thing you see is that wretched grim pesto from 2018. Has Jack really contributed nothing to it since then? Her important revenue stream?
Guys the masks are giving me The Fear, but can we get Jack one asap to hide the crimes against eyeshadow?
I follow a woman who joyously declares her filler etc, totally open about all cosmetic adjustment, but all her photos look like they've been cartoonified, I can't work out whether the people replying are thick or humouring her...
Very interesting take! As an autistic simian I must plead shocking ignorance of any facetune type things, I will absolutely take the same shot ten times to look best but I am completely and utterly baffled by "selfies" on my social media.I see your point, I think it would probably escape discussion here for the most part if that was all she was doing. I suppose it just seems like more excessive lies on top of lies though
I personally never edit an image beyond exposure adjustments etc- it feels to me like projecting an inaccuracy, and I would be really uncomfortable if I was hypothetically someone who was photographed looking so different “in real life”.
However I feel this way because I am transparent and factual about things to the point of hindrance, so would be interested to hear what other neurodiverse posters think on this matter. Funny how her accurate/injustice sensitive ASD brain has dipped out here
Nothing wrong with knowing your angles/posing well and paying attention to lighting and composition, but editing the proportions of your face and body is another thing entirely.
I follow a woman who joyously declares her filler etc, totally open about all cosmetic adjustment, but all her photos look like they've been cartoonified, I can't work out whether the people replying are thick or humouring her...
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You have a severe case of over simplification. But I'm not obliged to turn up for every argument. Thankyou.
No, thank yOu.
Lols. And that made me think of this
Woops, grunking and just seen someone else already did the partridge thing. Well one can never have too much cheese.
Unless you're doing a leftover cheese promo and you are the literal expert but sadly have no cheese and have to go and buy new especially to pretend you have leftovers.
The thing with grunking is, it's very hard to sit with my amazing observations unitl the grunk endsin order to avoid duplications of others' posts.
Jack world problems.
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I don't know, the fish finger lasagne on YouTube isthat is probably tastier and more reliable than any of the poisoning pixie's recipes.
But what about sausagne? Worst lasagne adaption ever?
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Cheap sausages, chopped tomatoes straight out of the tin
I'd scrubbed that from my memory, I think you winI don't know, the fish finger lasagne on YouTube is
Just adding, what a fraud, cookery writer, my arse!
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Same.
The thought of cooking chicken in oily cheesey water is singularly repulsive.
I never think of chicken and cheese as natural bedfellows anyway tbh.
I also think that the moment has passed where exact Pythagoras calculations from her algebraic calculator autistic scientist mind are helpful.
Plain English, fewer boring anecdotes (well, none would be better), proof reading, edible food - that'd be a better use of time.
Actually, just delete everything, admit it was all a laugh, direct website to makeuponaknobhead.com and get a job at a cafe
!Jack invented roux!
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