Jack Monroe #234 A Grifty Kind of Self-Love

Pavlova · Dec 31, 2021

Jelly Bean said:
Wierd isn't it. Why would burglars steal old Le Creuset pots? Doesn't make sense.
We were burglared years ago and I was slightly offended at what they obviously considered unstealable

And a well-meaning squigg has now tagged the police. I'd be shitting myself, because...well, I don't think the burglary happened. Ya know, wasting police time and all....
On a more positive note, I saw this and thought I'd share. 18 days t'wirly though xx

MancBee · Dec 31, 2021

Wouldn't the first thing you do after finding you have been burgled be to ring the police? The second would surely be to call your dad and ask for his help. I know her mum is unwell, but she has a dad and siblings old enough to help. After all, she was willing to break Covid rules to cut her brothers hair, but her family all seem to leave her floundering on her own...I wonder why?

Orphan_Black · Dec 31, 2021

This is honestly like a soap opera.

duck me!!!

Lumpyspaceprincess · Dec 31, 2021

Is she suggesting that someone was that desperate for the granola recipe

appleskin · Dec 31, 2021

Poor show from Essex police, no such crime was reported in Oct that would have been anywhere near her

https://www.police.uk

Shame on you Essex police!!!

Sideboard Bob · Dec 31, 2021

Silver Linings said:
View attachment 952478

It’s a Scottish tradition too, all the rage in the land of celery.

Just want to add that I don’t take any enjoyment from her alleged misfortune, none of us do. Ultimately she‘s a fellow human and I wish her well. It’s just all so “boy who cried wolf”.

Marmalade Atkins · Dec 31, 2021

Django · Dec 31, 2021

Orphan_Black said:
This is honestly like a soap opera.

duck me!!!

Was it really only yesterday when we were mithering on about cheese sauce and now we are being implicated in a crime scene. Exciting times!

BlendedSlop · Dec 31, 2021

I'd be interested to know how broad her definition of a "major life disaster" is if she's had SIX of them in 48 hours (not including the latest burglary), none of which apparently stopped her from dyeing her hair and doing her makeup.

No enjoyment here from me; I just hope she'd sorted contents insurance after the last time. And if she is indeed trying to imply that someone from here did it, well, she can get to absolute duck.

Mr Krabs · Dec 31, 2021

Jelly Bean said:
Wierd isn't it. Why would burglars steal old Le Creuset pots? Doesn't make sense.
We were burglared years ago and I was slightly offended at what they obviously considered unstealable

The only possible reason I can think of is that the old pots are cast iron, which could be sold for scrap. But I doubt anyone would go to those lengths for a few quid.

Six major life events in one day is impressive. To me, a major event is a death, divorce, move to a new city, getting married etc. I don’t think even NYE Eastenders will have that much going on.

Vroo · Dec 31, 2021

Would not wish a burglary on anyone but why leave things of huge sentimental value in a place that’s been broken into before?
sad end to no spend year , maybe next year will be no grift year

Marmalade Atkins · Dec 31, 2021

I guess that's #JacksChristmasLarder out the window for the second day running.

Powershower · Dec 31, 2021

I take no joy in her obvious misery but she never does anything to help herself which makes it hard to have any sympathy for her either.

I’m not going to speculate on whether she was or wasn’t burgled for the second time in 3 months but surely even Jack cannot deny that after the first burglary there are things that she could have done to help if it happened again.

Contents insurance being the foremost one. My contents insurance is £4.62 a month with a £100 excess. I listed the things over a certain value and nothing else so it’s not like you have to do a massive stock take of everything you own.

She could stop posting pictures of her inside locks, contact her landlord and ask if they can be changed and she will front the cost

A ring doorbell type thing or security camera would be affordable for her, even if she claims otherwise. They may provide a bit of peace of mind for her.

Lastly and not a tip for security but when my gran was burgled (sp?) I remember her being very shaken up and not feeling safe in that house for a while. She wasn’t so fussed about the stuff they took… funny that. Maybe cos she had insurance?

Cookiecookie · Dec 31, 2021

Marmalade Atkins said:
View attachment 952350

If it's so precious, why is it in the bloody garage? I don't have much sentimental stuff, but the bits I have stay pretty close by, not stuffed away out of sight.

Rekyavikgirl · Dec 31, 2021

My classification for major life disasters include:

house fire
death of a loved one
having a fox gnaw off my nose in my sleep
job loss
sudden unexpected serious illness
flood
car crash
being arrested
divorce when it is unwelcome

not self-inflicted tit haircuts, being questioned on Twitter, failing to pay my taxes, producing really tit cheese sauces that everyone laughs at. Maybe her landlord has served notice?

SquiggleWiggle · Dec 31, 2021

I rent, and as part of the tenancy agreement I have to have insurance in place. Hopefully Jack’s isn’t the same. And surely they should be using Grandad’s pots and pans for sentimental reasons instead of leaving them in a damp garage

Rekyavikgirl · Dec 31, 2021

And she's spent the last year taking money off vulnerable squigs to fund a drink and drug addiction. It's sickening. That's what I call robbery.

bazzam · Dec 31, 2021

hang on a minute, I am sure she has previously claimed her le cruset came from a charity shop, not her grandad.

jordishaw · Dec 31, 2021

Jelly Bean said:
Wierd isn't it. Why would burglars steal old Le Creuset pots? Doesn't make sense.
We were burglared years ago and I was slightly offended at what they obviously considered unstealable

I can't remember who pointed out recently that quite a lot of what Jack posts isn't for us but for her immediate circle of friends, ex-friends and co-parents locally. This feels like one of those times - there has been a lot of suppressed fury about holiday arrangements over the last week I think? Also, definitely not taking pleasure in anyone's misfortunes but just a small sigh of relief that this has halted Jack's rebranding as the Matt Haig of makeup

SlopAmbsase · Dec 31, 2021

Hopefully she can pick up Grandad’s battered old Le Creuset at Southend Cash Converters soon.

(I mean, have you ever heard of a burglary where they are organised enough to have a vehicle and enter fearlessly and silently - presume the big lights would’ve been in the the ~~house~~ bungalow while she was farting around with hair dye too - and steal manky old heavy saucepans and ~~incomprehensibly~~ maliciously truffle though a box of clippings? Didn’t she also say she had security cameras around the time of the stalker/allegedly perv teacher? NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE!!)