- Notice
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
Anyone else thinks that if lockdown doesn't happen that she wouldn't have bothered getting therapy or go on antidepressants?
I feel like she would have just continued to bury her head in the sand and distract herself by going out places, going on holidays and seeing her mates but because she's forced to stay at home and can't do anything, her demons caught up to her and she could no longer outrun them.
I can't believe that she's trying to share her experiences only after 3 months, that's no time at all. It's unclear if her treatments are working or if its just a placebo effect. I've been there, and I don't think she's given herself enough time to experience any kind of real change and development... But hey, anything to get up some rushed content.
I also can't believe she has the gall to upload something as deep and as important as mental health by doing a rush job on the day she was supposed to upload, she said she filmed Friday evening and is rushing to upload it in an hour - that's fine if you were doing a shitty ASOS haul, but this is information and opinions you're putting out into the world - maybe you'd want to spend a bit more time planning it, thinking it through and actually making fucking sense, oh and FIX YOUR FUCKING SOUND AND LIGHTING FOR FUCKS SAKE.
I feel like she would have just continued to bury her head in the sand and distract herself by going out places, going on holidays and seeing her mates but because she's forced to stay at home and can't do anything, her demons caught up to her and she could no longer outrun them.
I can't believe that she's trying to share her experiences only after 3 months, that's no time at all. It's unclear if her treatments are working or if its just a placebo effect. I've been there, and I don't think she's given herself enough time to experience any kind of real change and development... But hey, anything to get up some rushed content.
I also can't believe she has the gall to upload something as deep and as important as mental health by doing a rush job on the day she was supposed to upload, she said she filmed Friday evening and is rushing to upload it in an hour - that's fine if you were doing a shitty ASOS haul, but this is information and opinions you're putting out into the world - maybe you'd want to spend a bit more time planning it, thinking it through and actually making fucking sense, oh and FIX YOUR FUCKING SOUND AND LIGHTING FOR FUCKS SAKE.
Last edited:
Caroline25
Member
Has she never been told touching your face is a skincare cardinal sin?! Like, by all means go and spend £300+ on products. God forbid you actually... keep your face clean 
We're all guilty of touching our faces throughout the day, but when she can't make a 3 minute video without mauling it with her dirty hands, pulling her delicate under eye area and slapping her cheeks with her great ham slabs it's no wonder her skin looks tired, dull and spotty. She burnt it and STILL can't leave it alone to rest and recover. I hope she was joking when she said she could become a skincare guru
We're all guilty of touching our faces throughout the day, but when she can't make a 3 minute video without mauling it with her dirty hands, pulling her delicate under eye area and slapping her cheeks with her great ham slabs it's no wonder her skin looks tired, dull and spotty. She burnt it and STILL can't leave it alone to rest and recover. I hope she was joking when she said she could become a skincare guru
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
VIDEO SUMMARY:
HAPPINESS LOOKS GREAT ON YOU | A DAY IN THE LIFE OF
Description: A lil simple happy day in the life.
HAPPINESS LOOKS GREAT ON YOU | A DAY IN THE LIFE OF
Description: A lil simple happy day in the life.
Wasn't expecting her to upload today, but then what do we expect from Helga - Queen of say one thing, do another.
It's Monday.... so this was filmed a week ago.
Starts off by saying the last few days have been "delightfully nice"
Rambles on about the sunshine and how it makes her feel nice and makes her feel hopeful and positive and good.
So because of that, she's decided to do a "classic style vlog" which means she's FINALLY ditched the weird HELGAVISION and chin mic and has gone back to holding the camera like a proper vlogger - HURRAH!!!
She really loves her fly on the wall and chin mic but she's going to hold us today because she's got a really nice day today of work and doing things like chores and errands. Sounds FUNZZZZ
She's taken the dogs out, and she's making breakfast, she's also sending some photos across to her manager to be approved.
She points out all of her new plants in the garden, she keeps pointing and going "here.... here..... here..... here..... here"
The number of rotten apples on the ground is insane... I worry about those poor dogs... She claims Dee eats everything - rotten fruit is toxic to dogs!!!
Fuck me, she's still pointing out where her new plants are sprouting "here..... here..... here...... here..... here..... there's not one here..... here....."
She gets distracted by another plant and then exclaims that PLANTS ARE MAGIC!!!! Just because her plant died off but is regrowing from the root.
The walk down the garden has worn her out, she's breathless.
In the office now, editing her QnA Fiwl video
She's now wailing into her microphone, recording a cover for her Reel
She's now finished in the office and has packed the last of her poster orders
This means another trip to the post office, but she also needs to go to the tip and go to the supermarket
Says that she did a limited run of her posters, 100 prints and sold them all in a week
She bought a label printer, especially for the tubes.
Now she wants to sell more and moans about the fact that she has to take out ANOTHER licence with the artist. But she's going to put out more of the prints soon.
HER HAIRRRRRRRRRRR
Adds another stop to her non-essential outing to multiple places, she's got no petrol so needs to get some.
"WHERE DID THE PETROL GO?" well you can't stay at home, love. It's gone on all those non-essential outings.
Rambles on about how she loves a trolley bag and her scan and go.
Rushes back inside to get another box to go to the recycling centre, and gets back in the car which stalls
"WHYS ME CAR....?"
"FLUSTERED!"
First stop: post office
Second stop: petrol
Third stop: Asda
"I know it's not essential but I found a disco ball planter"
She says went to the supermarket to stock up on snacks and mini ice creams.... ESSENTIAL.
Fourth stop: the tip
Tells the story about the person who next to her in the car park complaining that she parked too close, apparently he said "can you park any closer?"
"I FORT TO MYSELF YOU CAN FIT A FUCKIN BUS FREW THAT GAP"
She says that she REALLY had the urge to drive out the space and park EVEN CLOSER to his car and yell at him "I CAN, SEE!"
What a bitch.
Moans about the queue to the tip being sooooo long.
Wonders if she should just turn around and go home (spoiler: she doesn't)
Sitting in the car is making her hungry so she's cracking open the snacks
Now we get to hear about the story of the lady in front of her getting out of her car and walking her recycling to the tip, but it's not her turn and opportunist Helga decides to just overtake her so when she gets back to her car she'll have to wait even longer now
"JUST WAIT LIKE THE REST OF US, DOLL. WAIT LIKE THE REST OF US!!!!!"
She's hungry again so might have another snack.
Back home now and screeching along to songs
And her back must be perfectly fine now as she's throwing herself around in front of the camera
"YOU KNOW THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT COCONUT MILK, MAN. IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M HAVING A TAKEAWAY COFFEE WHEN I'M NOT HAVING A TAKEAWAY COFFEE" Helen not having a takeaway coffee is a fucking rarity.
Diane yawns and Helga screeches a mimicking yawn
Fiwl's home. Helga's cooking dinner.
Helga gets a teapigs package, apparently, Fiwl loves the "honey bush and.... rooey bush" ones.
Cut to Helga making Fiwl a sandwich "I LOVE MAKING SANDWICHES!" yep, and you love eating them too.... watch out Fiwl, chomperz is about!
She complains about Fiwl being "DISGUS-TANG" for buttering his bread and having mayo.
She then quizzes him about using a plate when making a sandwich... FFS Helga, leave the boy to make his sandwich in peace.
Helga's mouth is watering at the sight of Fiwl's sandwich, she complains that she hasn't had any lunch today... only a packet of crisps.
Helen is thrilled with her non essential purchase "I CAN'T BELIEVE I MANAGED TO BUY THIS TODAY!"
She shoves her beak in it.
"I WANT MORE NOW!" of course you do.
She's put the dogs to bed and she's getting ready for bed herself
She whips off her top
And knocks out her hair clip
NEXT DAY.... Wait... next day? Uhm....This isn't really a day in the life then, is it Helga?
Starting her day cleaning.... we've seen her do this in every single fucking vlog. We get it. You clean when the camera is recording.
She's "EXCITED" about cleaning her office.
She's got therapy this afternoon and some content that she wants to create later too.
Cleaning done and now she's going to crack on with her to-do list, she randomly hits her desk...
Cut to lunchtime. Cut to her yelling some song lyrics while shaking her arse.
She's got to pop to Dunelm, she's got to get some L shaped pillows because her back is terrible at the moment and poor baby can't sleep.
Back home now, and not only did she go to Dunelm, but she went to the pet store as it was next door. The essential dog item? Bow tie collars.
She tries out the pillows
She also got herself a giant mat for the office.
She tells Dee "PLEASE DON'T PEE ON THIS"
Dinner time
Bath time
Ice cream time
Bed time
Does some weird poses
And that's it... a day in a life which turned into two days, during a strict national lockdown she managed to visit a minimum of 6 places in two days... and that's not counting the dog walks and possible (and oh so likely) Grace meetups.
Im so confused as to why she's uploaded Mondays vlog on a Sunday... And the title... Nothing of significance actually happened? She just went shopping a lot...
Last edited:
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
WELCOME TO THREAD #14
Helen Anderson - Drinks if the day ends in Y, "Not an influencer" but please buy, buy, buy!
Big thank you to @eilidhh for the title suggestion!
64 votes
Helen Anderson - Drinks if the day ends in Y, "Not an influencer" but please buy, buy, buy!
Big thank you to @eilidhh for the title suggestion!
64 votes
PREVIOUSLY ON QUIRKERZ.....:
▷ DEAR DIARY, I WRITE LIKE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD
- Created a scrapbook for her 30th Birthday, misspells it "BIRTHDHAY"
- Breaks several covid rules by going out for non-essential trips and having multiple people coming over to give her presents
- Wrote how Fil's gift was "the scent of our happiness"
- In her diary and her vlog she claimed that it was so good not having the pressure of having a ridiculous party or go OTT to prove how much fun you had... yet doesn't realise that she did exactly the equivalent of a ridiculous party by making sure to prove how fun and amazing her birthday was, and saying it was the BEST BIRTHDAY EVERRRRR!
- She also states in the vlog how she wants to throw a MASSIVE party after the pandemic for all the birthdays missed because of Corona.
▷ MY DOG FELL INTO ICE WATER AND IS STRUGGLING TO GET OUT. QUICK! I MUST GET MY CAMERA OUT!
- Diane the tiny dachshund fell into an ice puddle and struggled to get out of it. Instead of helping her and getting her out of the ice, Helen filmed Dee struggling, while screaming and laughing at her.
- She thought that Diane's ordeal was perfect to repost on TikTok with the Artax scene dubbed over it
▷
PLEASE READ HERE'S FILUENCER'S TOP 5 T-SHIRTS. YES, IT'S LAME.- Fil (and his greasy, teeny weeny man bun) posts his wanna be influencer post of his top 5 graphic tshirts with Helen's help. We've seen this all before when she tried to turn Maff into an influencer
- In her Creating Together vlog she shows Fil being really insecure about doing his T-shirt post. He asks her if what he's doing is lame. Helga tries to convince him otherwise and heavily states how it was HIS idea and how HE wanted to do it. We all know Helen is behind Fil's wannabe influencer lifestyle.
▷ GRANNY KISS #2
- Previously on Quirkerz we saw the most awkward kiss between Helga and Fil, where she grabbed him, made him kiss her and he asked if he could go now after they were done
- Helga has put in yet another awkward kiss where she, again, pulls him into her and makes him give her a kiss
- Posts her My Boyfriend Picks My Outfits reel, with outfits that she already picked out for him. Claims that he describes all her outfits as "super cute"
- Also far away from her as possible is just bizzare.
- In her My Boyfriend Does My Make Up vlog, Fil lets out his pent up aggression by roughly pulling Helga's head around and battering her face with makeup. Helen desperately tries to get close to Fil and slumps towards him before getting bored and distracted by the thought of food.
▷ DISCLAIMER #1: MY BOYFRIEND PICKS MY OUTFITS BUT HE DOESN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!
- Weirdly over explains in a DISCLAIMER her reason for getting Filwhipped to pick his favourite looks of hers and rants about not wanting to seek approval from others... yet her whole job is based on seeking approval and being liked by others
- She will, however, gladly accept approval via compliment form only
▷ DISCLAIMER #2: IT'S NOT ALCOHOL (FOR ONCE)
- Posts a reel to show off a makeup look, has to start it off with her taking a whisky shot BUT it's not really whisky, it's espresso. There was absolutely no reason why she needs to take a shot for her make up look, but she wants to look well edgy
▷ RELAX, BE KEWL... AND BUY MY SHITTY, OVERPRICED PRINT
- Releases a print of her band's song lyric with the most basic and randomly placed design.
- The print is incredibly overpriced at £20 (£25 with P&P)
- She puts it up all over her house and tells everyone that it's a message we all need during this time.
- Tattle has a much better slogan for a Helen: Stay Home, You Fool
▷ ANOTHER PERSON IS GETTING ATTENTION FOR POSTING UNDERWEAR SHOTS AND TALKING ABOUT TOXIC POSITIVITY? I MUST COPY!
- Photoshop loving, Facetune using and filter covering Quirkerz posts pictures of herself in her underwear sitting on her kitchen counter
- Awkwardly poses by unnaturally arching her back to stick her arse further out, she also seems to have some sofa crease imprints on the back of her legs
- Practically copies another influencer's post about toxic positivity and body confidence
- Reposts love from another influencer about her toxic positivity/body post... yet this particular influencer is a toxic dieter whose content revolves around obsessively counting calories and constantly working out because she's terrified of putting on weight
▷ VALENTINE'S DAY EXPECTATION: OVERLY PHOTOSHOPPED PICTURES, REALITY: SOFA DUVET FARTS
- Posts a weird expectation vs reality for Valentine's Day where she randomly posts her rancid farting clip
- Her mate thinks her fart is "legendary" and talks about it with her personal trainer.
- Her manager also comments about her fart "your bum was like, pass me the mic" as if he is a 50-year-old trying to be down with the kids
▷ SHARONDERSON STRIKES AGAIN
- After trying and failing to use 'her name' to help get Fil a response from Game over a 'missing' order, she took to Twitter to complain publicly about the company for not responding and accused them of taking the money and running
- Some comments indicate that she may have had the game the whole time, but she's not certain
▷ BREAKS HER TOOTH SIPPING ON "WATER", BURNS HER FACE OFF WITH RETINOL
- Claims she chipped her tooth sipping on her water bottle at 3 am
- On the same day her face started peeling because she put a shit ton of strong retinol all over her face as she was too impatient to gradually build up to it
- Claims she didn't put any around her eyes and that the perfect red circles around them were just the retinol which migrated perfectly around them
- Also looks like she's put them on her lips as her fillers look fucked
▷ "APPARENTLY I'M AN INFLUENCER"
- Has been going on and on and on about the skincare book she got since Christmas, and how she's been reading it religiously, how she's been getting super into skincare and how she might become a skincare guru in the future.
- Since her retinol disaster she's gone on a rant about how influencers shouldn't be expected to know everything
- Keeps blowing her own trumpet and constantly mentioning that people are praising her for showing off getting it wrong with her chemically burn face
- Went on a rant "apparently I'm an influencer" which she hates being referred to as
- Then goes on a rant about influencers being seen as superhumans, mentions a lot about guilt and mentions that she constantly talks to her therapist about influencer responsibility
▷ OH THE HYPOCRISY...
- Remembering when she posted about coping during the first lockdown (29th March 2020) where she reflected on the positives of the lockdown experience
- She said she realised just how many unnecessary trips she would make to "pick up some bits" and since having reduced shopping visits, it has made her way more aware of what she has and what she can work with at home
- As her behaviour displayed since that post proves, she is so full of shit the toilet's jealous
▷ FORGETS THERE'S A STRICT NATIONAL LOCKDOWN, GOES OUT FOR A NON-ESSENTIAL SHOPPING SPREE FOR MORE SKIN CARE
- After spending £300 on skincare on Look Fantastic, Helga decides that she desperately needs more goodies and can't possibly do an online shop
- With the UK still in a national lockdown, people still sick and dying and a very small amount shops open for essential shopping only, Helen decides to go to Boots instore to treat herself to more skincare and other "treats"
- She went "a bit mad" while shopping as "there's something just so special being in a shop rather than online. WHOOPS!"
- Shows off her haul which consisted of a few skincare bits, lipsticks and bubble bath
▷ OTHER QUIRKY QUIRKERZ TINGS
- Has so far burned everything fucking thing she's put in her air fryer so far; turkey twizzlers... hash browns... her candles...
- Moans about Fil not taking the bins out for her, as he was too busy scraping snow and ice his car whilst she lazed in bed scrolling on TikTok, but it's ok Filwhip has another chance as the bin men didn't come so he can bring her another tea in bed and take them out again next time.
- Signs off for the weekend by posting a video of her kicking Diane when she makes her way to the fridge to get her precious bottle of booze
- The best Valentine's Day moment ever and what Fil got her this year
- Gets a comment about her putting on weight, her response was "haven't we all?"..... no. No we all haven't, Helga.
- Is recording a pilot for her own PODCAST
- Constantly rants about how we shouldn't compare ourselves to others, yet days after one of her recent preachy rants she compares herself to another influencer for looking glam on a dog walk
▷ PICTURE / VIDEO HIGHLIGHTS:
Attachments
Albert_Chris
Well-known member
Jesus that is fucken horrible! I didn't think she could fit any more shit in her house but there it is.... It looks fucken horrendis.
I think she was trying to go for that gentleman's study look? but instead of interesting things she has framed a bunch of shit.
And why is it always so dark in her house? Is she a fucken mole or something?
I think she was trying to go for that gentleman's study look? but instead of interesting things she has framed a bunch of shit.
And why is it always so dark in her house? Is she a fucken mole or something?
Iphigeniaa
New member
Helen Anderson 15 - Retinol burns, unsettling gurns and tattle spurns
leelaloola
Active member
This may have already been picked up on but
“It’s like you’re in icy cold water and trying to keep your head up”
Oh, similar to leaving Diane to succumb to thermic shock last week? You nob.
“It’s like you’re in icy cold water and trying to keep your head up”
Oh, similar to leaving Diane to succumb to thermic shock last week? You nob.
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
1. That "put a plum up yet bum" moment 
2. That awkward touchy-feely moment and Fiwl physically recoiling
Both could be scenes from a horror movie.
2. That awkward touchy-feely moment and Fiwl physically recoiling
Both could be scenes from a horror movie.
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
VIDEO SUMMARY: MY FOLLOWERS GRILL MY BOYFRIEND + COOK ALONG AD
Helga walks into the shot with her Hello Fresh box.
Her top looks like it's made for a child.
Also, bald spot check.
She's got to open the box now. Cue the gurns as her stubby little ham slabs try to rip open the box of FOOOOOD
Tonight she's having a date night with Fiwl.
Hello Fresh has now started doing a brunch menu and date night specials, so she's got that.
She can't possibly empty this box by herself, so she yells to Fiwl to give her a hand.
Fiwl loves sourdough. He reads through the menu as Helga stands next to him, picking her nose. She must be hungry.
Oh, now Fiwl's doing it.
They're both dribbling over the menu. Fiwl giggles at Helga saying "you get a plum!"
Helga explains that she got Hello Fresh because she wanted to "cook more fings"
"More variety in our diet... a more BALANCE diet"
"There's so many things to pick from as well" she says as she picks her nose... again.
She likes to open the bags before she puts them away so she can see the FOOD.
She passes Fiwl a lemon to put away in the fruit bowl as she can't be arsed to lean over to put it in there herself.
Helga and Fiwl hash out their rehearsed "IT'S WELL GOOD" speech about the promo code she has.
"How much money do we save on shopping?" Helga asks. None, you don't save shit on your shopping since you're in the fucking supermarket buying even more shite every other fucking day.
Claims that she spends way too much money at the supermarket, and buys too much stuff and then ends up wasting so much food because they don't eat it. I don't believe that there's any waste by the looks of her waist.
Fiwl repeats his little speech about it being great value for money.
Fiwl was very sceptical over the portion sizes. He was really worried that he'd be really hungry, but he's pretty satisfied then adds "mostly"
Helga claims that now they just go to the supermarket for "essentials" like milk and loo roll..... and sandwich filling. Ah yes, the super essential sandwich filling.
She's trying to advertise this box... yet she's down the other end of the room, there's a giant fucking box in the way of what she's looking at, and she keeps looking at Fiwl who keeps feeding her words to say. Great advert Helz.
"WOTS THAT FOR??? WOTS?? WOTS THAT??" asks Helga, holding up a plum
"That's the plum"
"A PLUM!!!!! PUT A PLUM UP YER BUM!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!!"
Helga remembers that she and Fiwl are having a date night, so she awkwardly strokes his face and rubs his chest
"I might have asked my followers to ask you some questions"
"LOL" says Fiwl, "That might be funny"
Another nose pick
She tells Fiwl to go have a shower because he's dirty... well yeah, you've just been wiping your snot all over him, stupid bint.
She thanks Fiwl for helping her unbox that. She couldn't have possibly done that herself.
She's rambling on about how this box has made her feel like a cook and how she's been a bit more "experimentive" in the kitchen.
She's now going to get changed and is going to reconvene later
Cut to later and ACTION!
----------------------------------------------------
Scene: The kitchen. A lonely looking box is placed randomly in the centre of the floor.
Enter: Fiwl slides into the shot, his greasy looking hair slicked back.
He bends down, groaning like an old man into his chin mic as he picks up the box, his legs part as his slippers slide on the slippery floor. Fiwl can do chores unprompted.
Fiwl puts the box in the bin, as wipes his snotty nose. Fiwl can multitask.
And scene
----------------------------------------------------
Fiwl is reading the recipe out loud to "himself"
Helga enters. Fiwl asks her where she's hidden the potatoes.
"WOT POTATOES?" Says Helga, shuffling her way into the shot
What the actual fuck is she wearing?
"are you ready to be grilled?"
Fiwl needs to wash his hands first.
Helga bargains with him, he'll do dinner and she'll do dessert
"and clear up" suggest Fiwl,
Helga looks horrified "AND CLEAR UP?!?!" she yells "WE'LL DO THAT TOGEVER!!!!" (aka Fiwl's going to do it while she sings and dances her way out of doing anything)
Q1. WHAT QUALITY ABOUT HELEN DO YOU LOVE THE MOST?
A: He loves that Helen is a bit mental. He loves that she's not a boring person. Always up for doing something or like exploring, or like adventures or like taking on a task or you're not like 'no, I just want to sit down and do nothing'.
Q2. IF HELEN WAS A CAR, WHAT CAR WOULD SHE BE?
A: Fiwl thinks this is SUCH A GOOD QUESTION!!!! A classic mini, cos she's small and kewl.
Q3. WHAT IS THE THING THAT BUGS YOU THE MOST ABOUT HELEN?
A: "Oh where do I start?" It bugs him when he walks straight in through the door after work, barely sat down, not even take his work boots off and she comes bounding up to him and wants to show him about 10 million things and tell him 10 million things, and just talks to him CONSTANTLY.
Helga doesn't like that, so she's going to butt in. "I'm sorry but when he comes home from work" Hold on she's going to reenact this... She runs in from the other room yelling high pitched "I'M HOME! HELLO DARLING! I'M HOME! I'M HOME!!!!"
She grabs his face, Fiwl says he doesn't do that. We've seen when he's come home from work many a time in her videos, we also know that he doesn't do that.
Fiwl continues on with the answer. "When I'm trying to do something, that's another thing, like look at cars or parts for cars or watch something or talk to someone and then Helen's always just in the background going "FIWL LOOK AT THIS, LOOK AT THIS! HEY FIWL!!!"
Q4. HEY FIWL, HOW GOOD IS HELEN IN BED?
Seriously someone asked this???
A: That's a very private question. He has no complaints, he'll leave it at that.
Q5. WHAT IS YOUR FAV KITCHEN GADGET?
A: A good sharp knife.
Q6. DID YOU GO TO UNI?
A. Yes. Sports development and physical education.
(Back on to the Helen themed Q's now)
Q7. WHAT WAS THE FIRST THOUGHT OF HELEN AFTER SEEING HER IN PERSON AND WHEN YOU FIRST SAW HER?
A: He thought she was very, very lovely and he'd like to see her again
Q8. WHAT'S YOUR FAV THING ABOUT HELEN'S PERSONALITY AND YOUR OWN?
A: Like he said before, she's outgoing and willing to explore. That's his fav part of his and her's personality. "It's a bit of a cop-out answer thought isn't it" (yup)
Q9. WHAT IS YOUR MUSIC TASTE LIKE?
A: Helen laughs at his music taste because it's quite "funny" he likes a bit of anything, but he absolutely loves the 00's and 90's hip-hop, r&b, UK garage. 00s, 90s, 80s American rap. He also likes Rage Against the Machine and Lit and Blink 182, and Turnover.
(Helen is swaying looking bored at this point)
He brings her into the convo by praising her for introducing him to some other types of music. She then sings the song which they sing together all the time but he can't remember the name of it.
Q10. A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOUR FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF ME WERE.
A: Confident
Helen pulls a face.
"Easy to talk to, like genuine... I suppose?"
Helen grimaces
"Like didn't get any vibes you were trying to be something other than yourself"
Q11. OH OH OH WHAT'S MY GROSSEST HABIT?
A: Picking your nose.
"REALLY?!" Says Helga, "DO YOU NOT LIKE IT?"
He says that he can't really think of anything else that's gross that she does...... REALLY???
Helga has to tell him "I LOVE PICKING MY NOSE!!!!"
Q12. WHAT IS YOUR ALL-TIME FAV BREAKFAST FOOD?
A: I love a bagel
"BAGEL SHOP!!!!!!" Yells Helga.
Fiwl lists off a bunch of things that go with a bagel.
Helen has moved sides to be closer to the food.
Q13. WHEN DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAD FALLEN HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HER?
A: "Head over heels? Er... I dunno...."
"The moment you saw me" she laughs as Fiwl pushes her arm out the way
".....yeah.... the moment I saw you...."
Q14. DO YOU LOVE THE AIRFRYER AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE ME?
What the fuck is this question?
A: "I think YOU love the air fryer more than you love me"
Q15. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT VLOGGING?
A: "It's alright.... I suppose? I don't think I could do it.... or I would do it. But I don't mind being in it or being in the background. There's got to be a line where you know you kee your personal life... personal...."
Helga interrupts "yeah, but we talk about it though don't we?"
"Yeah... you're very good at like talking to me about how much I want to be involved"
Q16. WHICH ONE OF THE SAUSAGES DO YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH?
A. "Errr...." Helga decides to answer for him, it's DeeDee. They call her DeeDee Pig / piggy.
Q17. OH GOD... SOMEONE WANTS TO KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO PROPOSE!!!!!!
A: Fiwl lets out a stream of saliva "pffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!! 2050"
Helga is shocked and squeaks "FIWL!!!!!!!!"
Q18. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HAVING A GIRLFRIEND WHO SHARES SO MUCH OF THEIR LIFE ONLINE?
A. "er, it was definitely new to me.... I'd never experienced that before... but it's ok. I'm kinda used to it now, at the beginning it was a bit like... "Woah" like... this is not what I'm used to but like now I'm sorta used to it... I guess.... yeah." Fiwl goes back to reading the recipe.
Q19. WHAT WAS YOR FIRST CAR?
A: Peugeot 106 xn 1.1
Q20. WHAT'S YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT ME?
A: When you put dirty dishes in the sink.
Helga quizzes him on if that's actually his least favourite thing about her.
Fiwl doesn't know, because he doesn't really think about things like that, to be honest. (I smell bullshit. Fiwl must have completely forgotten the reasons why he dramatically moved out of her house in the Autumn)
Helga decides to tell Fiwl her least favourite thing about him: he leaves his clothes on the floor.
Q21. WHAT DO WE HAVE IN COMMON?
A: Fiwl thinks they have loads in common, they're both "willing" to explore and travel and adventure.... go to new places, try new things, they both like food and both like to drink.
"yeah.... food, beer, travel....."
He also thinks that they have similar values and morals (I just spat my drink out at that, fucking MORALS)
They both have similar outlooks on life and similar understandings.
"Our anxieties and how we think about it!!!" chimes in Helga.
They both like video games, and both like movies, and nerdy series - Helga is making him watch Game of Thrones.
Q22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIECE OF CLOTHING OF MINE?
A: He likes her dungerees.
"Do you?" Asks Helen.
"Yeah... they're cute."
Q23. WHEN MEN TAKE AGES TO REPLY, DOES THAT MEAN THEY AREN'T INTERESTED?
What the fuck are these questionssssssss.
A: "I'm gunna say no, it could mean anything...." basically it could mean that they're busy blah blah blah.
Helga complains that Fiwl always leaves her on read with her messages.
Q24. HOW ARE YOU FINDING BEING A YOUTUBE/INSTAGRAM HUSBAND? LOL!!!!!!
A: "okay... I guess.... I'm getting good at photography... I've had to learn that pretty fast."
Q25. DID YOU KNOW ME BEFORE WE STARTED DATING?
A: I knew OF you obviously... because I knew Matty (Maff) didn't I?
Helga laughs awkwardly then pulls a face to the camera
He didn't know much about her, didn't follow her on Instagram or watch her videos.
Helen looks grumpy at that comment.
Q26. IS HELEN AS MUCH FUN IN REAL LIFE AS SHE SEEMS ON YOUTUBE?
(WHO THE FUCK CARES?)
A: "Yeah most definitely, I'd say even MORE fun!!!!!"
Helga laughs loud, Fiwl mocks her by laughing super fucking loud in the chin mic.
She then asks him if he hates it when she screeches his name in high pitched "FIWL!!!!"
Fiwl says "yeah"
"Do you?!"
"Yeah, my mum doesn't even do that"
"I CAN'T HELP IT!!!!!!" You can Helga, you fucking can.
"Do you want me to stop doing it???"
Fiwl senses he's upset her "NO!!!! Don't worry about it!!!"
"I CAN'T HELP IT!" she whines.
LAST QUESTION!!!!!
Q27. SO, THEY'VE HEARD HOW I FELT ABOUT US MOVING IN SO QUICKLY DUE, TO LOCKDOWN, HOW HAVE YOU FELT ABOUT IT?
A: Fiwl says "It wasn't ideal... personally. I probably wouldn't have chosen to move in so quickly, but you know, given the circumstances we were in... it was a decision that we made we thought that it was the best scenario... or the best decision at the time... In case of like still seeing each other. And looking back now, I think it was still the best decision.... a hundred million times over because it was, you know, it was nice. because I still here and you know, I could still keep in contact with Helen, and we could you know do our daily exercise and take the dogs out together, and we could enjoy each other's company and it was hard at times you know like being around someone who I'd only known a few months, it was a lot of pressure and difficult at times but I think as it went on I felt more and more comfortable and still feel like it was the right thing to do, because yeah we had each other and going through something like that on your own would have been difficult"
He was living at home with his parents... it sounds like she used the fact she was "on her own" as a way to make him feel sorry for her and move in with her...
Him saying that it was the right thing to do made Helen react like this:
"I appreciate a lot of people did and you know, I feel for those people and it would have been really hard, but also like we went thought a hard time together..."
Helga interrupts and says that they managed to get through it and they're coping still it makes them stronger.
They say that they've got so much to look forward to when they go out as they've spent all their time inside.
Fiwl is looking forward to all those holidays, travelling and adventuring.
That's all the Q's done. Thank fuck.
Cut to later, Helga is in her depression duvet and is drooling over her dessert. She's got it down her chin - Fiwl points it out and laughs really loud at her
Fiwl says she's been eating all the chocolate. We know.
Helga looks out of it... her eyes keep going weird and she's slurring her words.
She stabs at her dessert with a spoon.
Goes on about her promo code, I forgot that this was a fucking AD. Fiwl corrects her and she yells in a mocking tone "OKAY YOU WANNA DO MY JOB DO YOU?" Great AD.
Helga walks into the shot with her Hello Fresh box.
Her top looks like it's made for a child.
Also, bald spot check.
She's got to open the box now. Cue the gurns as her stubby little ham slabs try to rip open the box of FOOOOOD
Tonight she's having a date night with Fiwl.
Hello Fresh has now started doing a brunch menu and date night specials, so she's got that.
She can't possibly empty this box by herself, so she yells to Fiwl to give her a hand.
Fiwl loves sourdough. He reads through the menu as Helga stands next to him, picking her nose. She must be hungry.
Oh, now Fiwl's doing it.
They're both dribbling over the menu. Fiwl giggles at Helga saying "you get a plum!"
Helga explains that she got Hello Fresh because she wanted to "cook more fings"
"More variety in our diet... a more BALANCE diet"
"There's so many things to pick from as well" she says as she picks her nose... again.
She likes to open the bags before she puts them away so she can see the FOOD.
She passes Fiwl a lemon to put away in the fruit bowl as she can't be arsed to lean over to put it in there herself.
Helga and Fiwl hash out their rehearsed "IT'S WELL GOOD" speech about the promo code she has.
"How much money do we save on shopping?" Helga asks. None, you don't save shit on your shopping since you're in the fucking supermarket buying even more shite every other fucking day.
Claims that she spends way too much money at the supermarket, and buys too much stuff and then ends up wasting so much food because they don't eat it. I don't believe that there's any waste by the looks of her waist.
Fiwl repeats his little speech about it being great value for money.
Fiwl was very sceptical over the portion sizes. He was really worried that he'd be really hungry, but he's pretty satisfied then adds "mostly"
Helga claims that now they just go to the supermarket for "essentials" like milk and loo roll..... and sandwich filling. Ah yes, the super essential sandwich filling.
She's trying to advertise this box... yet she's down the other end of the room, there's a giant fucking box in the way of what she's looking at, and she keeps looking at Fiwl who keeps feeding her words to say. Great advert Helz.
"WOTS THAT FOR??? WOTS?? WOTS THAT??" asks Helga, holding up a plum
"That's the plum"
"A PLUM!!!!! PUT A PLUM UP YER BUM!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!!"
Helga remembers that she and Fiwl are having a date night, so she awkwardly strokes his face and rubs his chest
"I might have asked my followers to ask you some questions"
"LOL" says Fiwl, "That might be funny"
Another nose pick
She tells Fiwl to go have a shower because he's dirty... well yeah, you've just been wiping your snot all over him, stupid bint.
She thanks Fiwl for helping her unbox that. She couldn't have possibly done that herself.
She's rambling on about how this box has made her feel like a cook and how she's been a bit more "experimentive" in the kitchen.
She's now going to get changed and is going to reconvene later
Cut to later and ACTION!
----------------------------------------------------
Scene: The kitchen. A lonely looking box is placed randomly in the centre of the floor.
Enter: Fiwl slides into the shot, his greasy looking hair slicked back.
He bends down, groaning like an old man into his chin mic as he picks up the box, his legs part as his slippers slide on the slippery floor. Fiwl can do chores unprompted.
Fiwl puts the box in the bin, as wipes his snotty nose. Fiwl can multitask.
And scene
----------------------------------------------------
Fiwl is reading the recipe out loud to "himself"
Helga enters. Fiwl asks her where she's hidden the potatoes.
"WOT POTATOES?" Says Helga, shuffling her way into the shot
What the actual fuck is she wearing?
"are you ready to be grilled?"
Fiwl needs to wash his hands first.
Helga bargains with him, he'll do dinner and she'll do dessert
"and clear up" suggest Fiwl,
Helga looks horrified "AND CLEAR UP?!?!" she yells "WE'LL DO THAT TOGEVER!!!!" (aka Fiwl's going to do it while she sings and dances her way out of doing anything)
Q1. WHAT QUALITY ABOUT HELEN DO YOU LOVE THE MOST?
A: He loves that Helen is a bit mental. He loves that she's not a boring person. Always up for doing something or like exploring, or like adventures or like taking on a task or you're not like 'no, I just want to sit down and do nothing'.
Q2. IF HELEN WAS A CAR, WHAT CAR WOULD SHE BE?
A: Fiwl thinks this is SUCH A GOOD QUESTION!!!! A classic mini, cos she's small and kewl.
Q3. WHAT IS THE THING THAT BUGS YOU THE MOST ABOUT HELEN?
A: "Oh where do I start?" It bugs him when he walks straight in through the door after work, barely sat down, not even take his work boots off and she comes bounding up to him and wants to show him about 10 million things and tell him 10 million things, and just talks to him CONSTANTLY.
Helga doesn't like that, so she's going to butt in. "I'm sorry but when he comes home from work" Hold on she's going to reenact this... She runs in from the other room yelling high pitched "I'M HOME! HELLO DARLING! I'M HOME! I'M HOME!!!!"
She grabs his face, Fiwl says he doesn't do that. We've seen when he's come home from work many a time in her videos, we also know that he doesn't do that.
Fiwl continues on with the answer. "When I'm trying to do something, that's another thing, like look at cars or parts for cars or watch something or talk to someone and then Helen's always just in the background going "FIWL LOOK AT THIS, LOOK AT THIS! HEY FIWL!!!"
Q4. HEY FIWL, HOW GOOD IS HELEN IN BED?
Seriously someone asked this???
A: That's a very private question. He has no complaints, he'll leave it at that.
Q5. WHAT IS YOUR FAV KITCHEN GADGET?
A: A good sharp knife.
Q6. DID YOU GO TO UNI?
A. Yes. Sports development and physical education.
(Back on to the Helen themed Q's now)
Q7. WHAT WAS THE FIRST THOUGHT OF HELEN AFTER SEEING HER IN PERSON AND WHEN YOU FIRST SAW HER?
A: He thought she was very, very lovely and he'd like to see her again
Q8. WHAT'S YOUR FAV THING ABOUT HELEN'S PERSONALITY AND YOUR OWN?
A: Like he said before, she's outgoing and willing to explore. That's his fav part of his and her's personality. "It's a bit of a cop-out answer thought isn't it" (yup)
Q9. WHAT IS YOUR MUSIC TASTE LIKE?
A: Helen laughs at his music taste because it's quite "funny" he likes a bit of anything, but he absolutely loves the 00's and 90's hip-hop, r&b, UK garage. 00s, 90s, 80s American rap. He also likes Rage Against the Machine and Lit and Blink 182, and Turnover.
(Helen is swaying looking bored at this point)
He brings her into the convo by praising her for introducing him to some other types of music. She then sings the song which they sing together all the time but he can't remember the name of it.
Q10. A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOUR FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF ME WERE.
A: Confident
Helen pulls a face.
"Easy to talk to, like genuine... I suppose?"
Helen grimaces
"Like didn't get any vibes you were trying to be something other than yourself"
Q11. OH OH OH WHAT'S MY GROSSEST HABIT?
A: Picking your nose.
"REALLY?!" Says Helga, "DO YOU NOT LIKE IT?"
He says that he can't really think of anything else that's gross that she does...... REALLY???
Helga has to tell him "I LOVE PICKING MY NOSE!!!!"
Q12. WHAT IS YOUR ALL-TIME FAV BREAKFAST FOOD?
A: I love a bagel
"BAGEL SHOP!!!!!!" Yells Helga.
Fiwl lists off a bunch of things that go with a bagel.
Helen has moved sides to be closer to the food.
Q13. WHEN DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAD FALLEN HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HER?
A: "Head over heels? Er... I dunno...."
"The moment you saw me" she laughs as Fiwl pushes her arm out the way
".....yeah.... the moment I saw you...."
Q14. DO YOU LOVE THE AIRFRYER AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE ME?
What the fuck is this question?
A: "I think YOU love the air fryer more than you love me"
Q15. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT VLOGGING?
A: "It's alright.... I suppose? I don't think I could do it.... or I would do it. But I don't mind being in it or being in the background. There's got to be a line where you know you kee your personal life... personal...."
Helga interrupts "yeah, but we talk about it though don't we?"
"Yeah... you're very good at like talking to me about how much I want to be involved"
Q16. WHICH ONE OF THE SAUSAGES DO YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH?
A. "Errr...." Helga decides to answer for him, it's DeeDee. They call her DeeDee Pig / piggy.
Q17. OH GOD... SOMEONE WANTS TO KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO PROPOSE!!!!!!
A: Fiwl lets out a stream of saliva "pffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!! 2050"
Helga is shocked and squeaks "FIWL!!!!!!!!"
Q18. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HAVING A GIRLFRIEND WHO SHARES SO MUCH OF THEIR LIFE ONLINE?
A. "er, it was definitely new to me.... I'd never experienced that before... but it's ok. I'm kinda used to it now, at the beginning it was a bit like... "Woah" like... this is not what I'm used to but like now I'm sorta used to it... I guess.... yeah." Fiwl goes back to reading the recipe.
Q19. WHAT WAS YOR FIRST CAR?
A: Peugeot 106 xn 1.1
Q20. WHAT'S YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT ME?
A: When you put dirty dishes in the sink.
Helga quizzes him on if that's actually his least favourite thing about her.
Fiwl doesn't know, because he doesn't really think about things like that, to be honest. (I smell bullshit. Fiwl must have completely forgotten the reasons why he dramatically moved out of her house in the Autumn)
Helga decides to tell Fiwl her least favourite thing about him: he leaves his clothes on the floor.
Q21. WHAT DO WE HAVE IN COMMON?
A: Fiwl thinks they have loads in common, they're both "willing" to explore and travel and adventure.... go to new places, try new things, they both like food and both like to drink.
"yeah.... food, beer, travel....."
He also thinks that they have similar values and morals (I just spat my drink out at that, fucking MORALS)
They both have similar outlooks on life and similar understandings.
"Our anxieties and how we think about it!!!" chimes in Helga.
They both like video games, and both like movies, and nerdy series - Helga is making him watch Game of Thrones.
Q22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIECE OF CLOTHING OF MINE?
A: He likes her dungerees.
"Do you?" Asks Helen.
"Yeah... they're cute."
Q23. WHEN MEN TAKE AGES TO REPLY, DOES THAT MEAN THEY AREN'T INTERESTED?
What the fuck are these questionssssssss.
A: "I'm gunna say no, it could mean anything...." basically it could mean that they're busy blah blah blah.
Helga complains that Fiwl always leaves her on read with her messages.
Q24. HOW ARE YOU FINDING BEING A YOUTUBE/INSTAGRAM HUSBAND? LOL!!!!!!
A: "okay... I guess.... I'm getting good at photography... I've had to learn that pretty fast."
Q25. DID YOU KNOW ME BEFORE WE STARTED DATING?
A: I knew OF you obviously... because I knew Matty (Maff) didn't I?
Helga laughs awkwardly then pulls a face to the camera
He didn't know much about her, didn't follow her on Instagram or watch her videos.
Helen looks grumpy at that comment.
Q26. IS HELEN AS MUCH FUN IN REAL LIFE AS SHE SEEMS ON YOUTUBE?
(WHO THE FUCK CARES?)
A: "Yeah most definitely, I'd say even MORE fun!!!!!"
Helga laughs loud, Fiwl mocks her by laughing super fucking loud in the chin mic.
She then asks him if he hates it when she screeches his name in high pitched "FIWL!!!!"
Fiwl says "yeah"
"Do you?!"
"Yeah, my mum doesn't even do that"
"I CAN'T HELP IT!!!!!!" You can Helga, you fucking can.
"Do you want me to stop doing it???"
Fiwl senses he's upset her "NO!!!! Don't worry about it!!!"
"I CAN'T HELP IT!" she whines.
LAST QUESTION!!!!!
Q27. SO, THEY'VE HEARD HOW I FELT ABOUT US MOVING IN SO QUICKLY DUE, TO LOCKDOWN, HOW HAVE YOU FELT ABOUT IT?
A: Fiwl says "It wasn't ideal... personally. I probably wouldn't have chosen to move in so quickly, but you know, given the circumstances we were in... it was a decision that we made we thought that it was the best scenario... or the best decision at the time... In case of like still seeing each other. And looking back now, I think it was still the best decision.... a hundred million times over because it was, you know, it was nice. because I still here and you know, I could still keep in contact with Helen, and we could you know do our daily exercise and take the dogs out together, and we could enjoy each other's company and it was hard at times you know like being around someone who I'd only known a few months, it was a lot of pressure and difficult at times but I think as it went on I felt more and more comfortable and still feel like it was the right thing to do, because yeah we had each other and going through something like that on your own would have been difficult"
He was living at home with his parents... it sounds like she used the fact she was "on her own" as a way to make him feel sorry for her and move in with her...
Him saying that it was the right thing to do made Helen react like this:
"I appreciate a lot of people did and you know, I feel for those people and it would have been really hard, but also like we went thought a hard time together..."
Helga interrupts and says that they managed to get through it and they're coping still it makes them stronger.
They say that they've got so much to look forward to when they go out as they've spent all their time inside.
Fiwl is looking forward to all those holidays, travelling and adventuring.
That's all the Q's done. Thank fuck.
Cut to later, Helga is in her depression duvet and is drooling over her dessert. She's got it down her chin - Fiwl points it out and laughs really loud at her
Fiwl says she's been eating all the chocolate. We know.
Helga looks out of it... her eyes keep going weird and she's slurring her words.
She stabs at her dessert with a spoon.
Goes on about her promo code, I forgot that this was a fucking AD. Fiwl corrects her and she yells in a mocking tone "OKAY YOU WANNA DO MY JOB DO YOU?" Great AD.
In my opinion it's in really bad taste that influencers like her are encouraging their audience to go out and go crazy with consumerism and socialising on the 21st if things go back then. Thousands upon thousands of people have died. Yes we should have hope but it's driving me mad the amount of grown adults who are encouraging others to go out and be irresponsible when things reopen.
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
(Sounds off on the vid, but it was just her miming to someone screaming)
She's so quirky and lol she's getting back into things that are healthy and not alcoholic.
Also...
Erm... Helga, you were having parties round yours in the summer, and going to pubs up until December and also went for so many weekends away and holidays during the whole pandemic... Why you acting like you've missed out on doing shit you've actually managed to do A LOT of???
She's so quirky and lol she's getting back into things that are healthy and not alcoholic.
Also...
Erm... Helga, you were having parties round yours in the summer, and going to pubs up until December and also went for so many weekends away and holidays during the whole pandemic... Why you acting like you've missed out on doing shit you've actually managed to do A LOT of???
microwavequeen
Chatty Member
I don’t get how people like Helen literally upload fucking proof of breaking the rules and just going about their daily life like normal, when normal people are getting fined for driving to a park 5 miles down the road
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
"So I'm assuming... NO, I KNOW FOR A FACT.... that MOST of the people who watch me have the same interests as me..."
590k subscribers... 2,900 views...
Womp womp.
590k subscribers... 2,900 views...
Womp womp.
Last edited:
Vikingvicky
Member
Anyone else get annoyed when 'influencers' ask for ideas/inspiration for videos?
Like.. f*ck off, YOU come up with the ideas, YOU literally get paid to do this, it's part of YOUR job.
luckyblue
VIP Member
I’m not trying to be overly PC, but her describing the earrings as “chav earrings” is really cringe to me. I’m not from that background myself but I find it really uncomfortable when people who have a lot of money especially make comments about stereotypical “chav” fashion/decor/whatever items. There’s just no awareness there for others circumstances.
tsuyu
Chatty Member
But..but her life literally hasn't changed?? She's been working from home for years, had a steady stream of spons and AD work over the last year, been on countless holidays and trips away, been to London during tier 3 to get her hair done, had people over during christmas and the list goes on
'I kinda don't wanna go back into busy here there n everywhere' okay then don't? When restrictions lift, no one will force her to be busy an everywhere
Shesaidwhat?
VIP Member
I liked a comment that replied to her and she’s instantly on my page