This is all I could see now (I’m sure they weren’t there earlier when I checked
). But the replies are shite
And the ex-friend is lovely. I still follow and chat to her and Suthers (
) tarted her appallingly
How I wish I knew who you were, but thank you for defending me. Xx
Hi folks...
You have no idea how hard it’s been to actually set up an account on here, I was going to do so anonymously but as I have nothing to hide.
Here I am.
This thread has been highlighted to me by many people over the last few days and, in all honesty, I didn’t want to read it as the very name gives me horrendous anxiety. However, as my name (albeit not literal) and some history with the named account has been mentioned, I feel it best I defend myself here as already, I’m hearing whispers that I am behind the comments left on the blog posts.
I can assure everyone, and her, that I am not. I work too many hours to be behind it and it is in fact, a case of very bad timing.
As someone who struggles with anxiety myself, I agree, a blog post earning money off the back of a mental health issue does leave a pretty sour taste in my mouth.
However, I am not here to tell you all your opinion is wrong or that you are not entitled to say your piece, opinions are after all, like arseholes and we all have one (or know one) my days of defending the above are long gone and I do not always agree with her behaviours or actions. Hence my initial comment on the blog post a couple of days ago.
I feel I should clear a few things up, having read these comments, and knowing her as I do, it will no doubt have some impact on her as yes, she has always struggled with self worth, which is why I left a comment on her blog post as I felt finally, after many years of questioning, it explained why she felt the need to put me and a sibling down so badly.
We did have a phone conversation off the back of my comment (which has since been removed, I can only assume to protect ones reputation) and I did receive an apology, admittedly, I accepted it at the time but thinking back, it was very cold, very hollow and very much an a backwards apology, questioning why I had harboured feelings like this for so long and denying her words were something I consider bullying. For example, if you dance round someone in a club, in your 20s, tease someone non stop because of their nose (not mine) , label her crow face and share photos online of a crow, that IS bullying.
If you purposely gloat in someone’s face who you know is very insecure about their looks and read out texts of an offensive and personal nature from a friend of yours who has spotted me in the street, it is still bullying, what is worse, is when you considered the above to be a friend.
There are many situations I can name but don’t feel the need, what I will say and confirm is that he’s, off the back of some of the comments, I DID have brutal double jaw surgery to fix the issue and when with my consultant, the things she said where the first thing I told him. I can’t however, put all that blame onto her entirely, her comments just didn’t help and did make me insecure. But she wasn’t alone with the nastiness.
What the above fails to understand is that yes, whilst some words maybe years ago and SOME maybe echoing words of others, they hurt. They cut deep. They are NEVER forgotten, and when you genuinely struggle with self worth, they stick like mud each time you look in a mirror. Sadly, that is a concept she failed to grasp. When you believe you are friends with someone, and you know you have flaws, the last thing you need is them pointing out, particularly from the mouth of a “friend”
Truthfully, I realised 7 years ago that she wasn’t the friend I wanted after finding out at the age of 29, I was unable to conceive a second child (I’m incredibly lucky to have one perfect daughter) and needed a full hysterectomy. Knowing my pain, I will NEVER forget how my real friends showed incredible kindness, she however, sent me a text to say she knew how I felt as she had discovered the gender of her second child and was disappointed that it was her “only” chance to have a girl but she had the gall to liken gender disappointment to infertility. I should have told her to shove it, instead, I sympathised with her and told her I was sorry for her.
Two years ago, without warning or explanation, she blocked me from social media, when I messaged to ask what I had done, I had no response. For someone who struggles with rejections issues and at the time was in the depths of a nervous breakdown, I didn’t get it, it caused a panic attack and even whatsapped to say so. She left me on read, then blocked me from any contact.
When I asked this week off the back of her telephone call what I’d done, she said she has had a tough few years, didn’t feel comfortable to elaborate as to why, but cut me and others off to “shorten her” circle. It is now evident that my suspicions when correct, I was surplus to requirements now she had many influencer friends, nothing says shorten your circle than make new friends and share your life online with 65.4k people though does it!!!
There is so much more I could say, but I don’t feel I need to, many of your assumptions based on what you see here aren’t wrong, whether it’s the place to air them, I don’t know, perhaps many of you feel that when you do raise your thoughts, you are dismissed just as any comments get removed so this is your only way to air your frustrations. I just feel that being as I’ve been somewhat brought into this now, I should clear things up as I really don’t fancy being accused of something I’ve no part in, as you can see, I have no issue with being open as to who I am. I have NOTHING to be ashamed of here.
To confirm however, yes her humour is dark, very dark, she hides the extent well. Ish. And to the lady who knows an ex of hers, I too know him. He was once a good friend of mine.
Anyway, I hope that clears my side of it up, until now, I’ve had no involvement on this thread or anything to do with the “negative” comments on her blog aside from my own feedback. But there really isn’t any point leaving her anymore, you can’t make someone reason with their behaviour when they do not think they are in the wrong.
I don’t wish her any harm, I won’t be wishing her well either. She didn’t care for me when my mental health was at peak or how she had affected it (I recall sending an email two years ago outlining all the upset she caused me, it was ignored too) I just hope sooner rather than later, she realises that if the words she spoke to me and my sibling (and others) were spoken from a child’s mouth, we’d call it bullying, and being an adult doesn’t make it any better.
I’m only sad that I wasted time on a friendship that never was. I may have been the “ugly friend” to her, but nothing is uglier than a mean personality.
I hope that clears up my side of things.
Sorry for the essay.
Emma
Honestly, fuck off Cara, how patronising. It’s very easy to use your weekend to “build the life you want” if you have one parent who spends the other 5 days with fuck all else to do except cleaning, admin and poncing about arranging books she’ll never read on tastelessly painted shelves. The rest of us who actually contribute and do something useful with our lives have to spend the weekends trying to catch up and survive, not faffing about with identikit instawanky “renos”.
Do you really think Suthers ever gives her followers a second thought?
) but I think it’s really quite insensitive to show the before photos filled with someone else belongings that were quite clearly struggling with life. An empty before shot that she’s shared before would have just an impact I personally think