The Chateau Diaries #171 F the farmhouse, I'm off to see the world, on other people's $. Weee!

[Jules100]

I’ve also started 2 new travel channels and an art history channel and 3 new cooking channels and a channel dedicated to renaissance toilets and one where I just talk about starting new channels.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Since Isabelle Jarvis made it clear she likes to lead by example, I thought it would be a good idea to give some background to this statement and explain just what those examples entail, by quoting from an email that was send to Stephanie a couple of years ago by a workawayer that was left under her mother’s “care” while the charlataine was frolicking around the world:

“Hello Stephanie !

I am writing to inform you that we have come to a point, where we will have to buy and cook our own food, in order to provide for adequate nutrition. Your Mom's cooking repertoire does not extend beyond sautéing canned vegetables or "covering" them with mayonnaise. The vegetables that she uses are mostly high-glycemic, and they are normally not accompanied by any kind of animal protein, short of tiny pieces of "lardon" on a good day. Today, for example, our daily ration consisted of 2 eggs, 2 Tb of grated cheese, 1/2 of bell pepper, 1 Tb of grated celery root covered in mayonnaise, 2 Tb of rockette procured from the garden, and lemon balm tea procured from the garden, as well.

It is hard for a working adult with a normal metabolism, not to mention a growing child, to survive on the amount and the quality of food that is provided by your mother in this 18th c English workhouse fare. Yesterday, we were told that when getting out of the table, we should still feel hunger. That may be so, if one rushes through the meal, but not after a meal that lasts 45 minutes to an hour. It takes 1,400 cal for a body just to live and perform bodily functions, and what your mother feeds us does not come anywhere close to that.

Due to this ongoing problem with the shortage of food and its quality, I have started to look for an earlier placement elsewhere, in order to expedite our departure from LaLande. In the interim, since I will have to buy and cook our own meals, please inform your mother that we will be able to put only 2.5 hours of work per day. After all, you are the registered workaway host, not your mother. You are the one, who has to call the shots and tackle the problems.”

 

[Clara Burnett]

I would just like to drop yet another hint of what's about to come to light if all goes as expected and remind the Snorting Cameltoe that the age of consent in Holland is still sixteen. That message might not mean a whole lot to everybody else, I'm counting on it resonating with him personally though. Sorry Fill-Up, your days of acting in the dark are over....

 

[Clara Burnett]

Some kindly meant words of advice for the charlataine, who by now should frantically be preparing for her patron open days:

• Ask your “boyfriend” about his past indiscretions and how they might come back to not just embarrassingly bite him but you as well.
• While you are at it, teach him the value of NDA’s and how to strategically employ them, even if you don’t believe in them yourself. He might understand if you refer to his past experiences in a not so popular boyband with other not so kind boys, now willing to speak their truth about their former colleague/bedpartner.
• You might want to rethink the Nasty Nutty banishment, as you would probably be better off throwing her under the bus, which you were planning to do anyway, remember? A new episode of the Bullying Argentinian loosing control in front of some of your patrons might be just the distraction you need to keep the focus away from yourself.
• A word of warning about having your mother join in the festivities. You know it’s not going to end well, for no-one. She is going to make a complete arse of herself and even though you still think that’s hilariously funny, it really is not. Having her fat sister Chantal there with her (her own adjective, not mine) will sadly add fuel to her already burning fire.

I can’t wait! As @Jules100 likes to call it: almost done. Just a few bits and pieces to gather.

 

[Clara Burnett]

If I had ever received such an e mail, I would have been covered in embarrassment. I hope the situation was righted immediately. Thank you for sharing.

No, it wasn't. From a follow up email:

"Thanks for your reply. To answer your question: no, things has not gotten better. I have offered your Mom to cook decent meals for everybody, but both times her answer was : "I don't think so !" Her attitude towards our grievances has been consistently cavalier, if not hostile.
Tonight, we are going to bed without a dinner, after being told that we should buy our own food.
I have no problem with buying and cooking our own meals, but as it goes with the workaway, when the helpers have to take care of their own food, our work hours will be cut by half. I believe your Mom may not be aware of that, since yesterday I had to explain to her that after 5 days of work helpers are entitled to 2 days off . Would you kindly inform her about that ?
We would also appreciate if you could arrange for a once every other day lift to a supermarket and for some free space in one of the refrigerators, so that we could put our food there. Right now, they are all stuffed full of meat that never finds its way to the table, so, perhaps, another refrigerator for workawayers' specific use is in order ?
Thank you for your attention to this matter."

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Stefanie Weseau
7 hours ago
Stephanie, it's wonderful to see a real chateau that is beautifully tended and so tastefully decorated by owners who take pride in their home and invest in the legacy of the property. You could learn so much from Chris and Sonia. Imagine how lovely Chateau de la Lande could be if you stayed home and invested the hundred's of thousands of you earn annually from YT and Patron into actually renovating and restoring Chateau de la Lande. No heating, leaky pipes and rising damp - Chateau de la lande is barely fit to live in. Stop spending money on unneeded decorations, tacky brocante purchases and constant vacations. Save Chateau de la Lande.

 

[Jules100]

Jules 100 - loved your video!
Curious how plans are coming along for the Southermost Chateau Patron Party. Did you get the swag bags put together? How about the Villoti gowns I sent? Have you picked out what you’ll be wearing. Spoke with Ty Warner, Beanie Baby fame and he said he’d be sending some left over Hedgehogs, just an FYI on that.

Tartlet Days, September 6, 7 & 8 in Key West, Florida. Is kind of a bust. I have about 150 tote bags / gift bags embroidered with Philip & his sideways mouth, filled with bespoke Spode tiles, pineapples, instant oatmeal packets, Dawn powerwash, magic erasers, Miller Lite $1.50 off coupons and mini hand sanitizers. Unfortunately none of you bitches paid your non-refundable deposits. Maybe I’ll ship the tote bags filled with their goodies to Lalande for Patron Days. It is a similar demographic.

 

[Clara Burnett]

I'm impressed that 1. You somehow were copied with this email and 2. That you had the foresight to keep it. I always worry that you have not kept all your powder dry but I guess what you have shared with us is only the tip of the iceberg. When you do let loose all your powder it's going to be one he'll of a KABOOM.

To answer your concerns: 1. the charlataine found this whole situation hilariously funny (as she finds all her mothers bad behavior hilariously funny), enough so to share the emails with multiple people. 2. that's the plan.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Robin Lots
7 minutes ago
When are you going to renovate LaLande as you have been promising for 2 years. You must have spent all your renovation money travelling with Philip which is all you have done for 2 years.

 

[KiKiGee]

Linda V
3 minutes ago
Puts you to shame doesn't it. €33K A Month and your House is a dump. How do you justify taking peoples money to fund your lifestyle and never finish jobs you start. Take a leaf out of Billy Petherick's book, he works hard and doesnt grift like you. What have you done lately apart from put some unwashed second hand curtains up. On a positive not your toyboy isn't making stupid comments, so far.

 

[KiKiGee]

Patricia Dulguime
15 hours ago (edited)
I am going to stop watching until mummy and Percy gets back because that person is talking to much OVER OTHER PEOPLE. It’s not all about you , you know you need all the attention don’t you. Afraid of missing out. Can you please not talk in the next’s video . Stephanie you deserve anything in life your a sweetheart . Surely that person can done something else while you’re doing the next video PLEASE Stephanie. Sorry Emma look to see you at the chateau have a great stay and come back again your so sweet. Keven and Karen so sweet hope you both had a good time at the chateau and for all the gifts for Stephanie .

Anniet
20 hours ago
Philip- please be quiet when you’re behind the camera. It’s so distracting!

robsondog01
1 day ago
Remember when you announced your relationship with Philip, saying that you wanted to keep it to yourself for a while, that quote was obviously 100% for you and yours. You give so much of yourselves away. Thanxxx

John Case
1 day ago
I have sent three emails to you guys and not a single reply. Giving it one more week and if nothing still, bye-bye
REPLY
Maria K
18 hours ago
Did you check your spam?
REPLY
John Case
7 hours ago
@Maria K of course I checked my spam - NO replies !

Mrgx Mgnn
1 day ago
Dear Lalande Team, Would you mind updating in the description box the list of charities you have donated to since March 2022 ? It would be lovely to know with whom the joy is being shared

 

[Clara Burnett]

No wonder Percy is looking more & more frail if that’s what she has been feeding him for 2 years.

According to this workaway volunteer Percy was in on it, even back then. From the same email:
"Also, yesterday, during lunch time, there was an argument between Percy and Isabelle as to whether everyone should be allowed to eat a thin slice of packaged ham with their salad. I do not believe that Percy's objection was coming from his concern about exposing us to this unhealthy nitrate-packed product. It was quite obviously coming from the considerations of economy."

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

Thank you for the new thread and a late happy birthday @ComtesseRose

Omg another channel....i guess Ollie doesnt have the time anymore...so she is doing it herself...i wonder if buying that spanish villa was very conveniant for Ollies wife, to keep him away from Fanny...

How does she find the time to do all those vlogs...she also looks now allready like a wornout kitchencloth..

That holiday must have been longer than 5 days...keeping in mind two days of travel...and than...Santorini, Rhodos, Turkey...all smoke and mirrors..now we know why her latest vlogs were so strange...all filmed in advance...

I wonder what that firebrigade said to Fanny...i guess not that their ladders were to short..to get that drone out of that tree...i think they have said...you messed it up...fix it yourself...Dan...Dan and snort were standing there like two schoolboys...who had eaten the candybox..empty..while Nick went up to get that drone...i always wonder why all those people run when Fanny asks...

That chateau looks nice...the more her own heap looks cheaper and dirtier...

More obvious to me that her own crumbling heap is never gonna be finished...all the money goes up on holidays and travels...omg what a life...a travelling circus 2.0

I can't even bring myself to watch Fanny's flog. "Grand Tour could take years" delusions of grandeur. I see you Fanny. Anyone with a modicum of common sense knows she is just a con so you have to conclude they just don't care. She is actually obscene pretentious odious grifter.

That grand tour bullshit...well...those people who went on them in the past....payed for it themselves...That woman really thinks she is Marie Antoinette...the fuss she made about that trees....omg...she is getting a tree from the ones Marie Antoinette had... you cant make that bullshit up..

 

[Welsh-chatelaine]

Since Isabelle Jarvis made it clear she likes to lead by example, I thought it would be a good idea to give some background to this statement and explain just what those examples entail, by quoting from an email that was send to Stephanie a couple of years ago by a workawayer that was left under her mother’s “care” while the charlataine was frolicking around the world:

“Hello Stephanie !

I am writing to inform you that we have come to a point, where we will have to buy and cook our own food, in order to provide for adequate nutrition. ”

One can only assume that this is also the way Isabelle Jarvis fed the 'inmates' at their Care Home(s). I dread to think how they were treated when no one was looking. Old habits die hard.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Someone in the gift-grab was trying to teach Stephanie Jarvis a valuable lesson by quoting David Viscott: “The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The meaning of life is to give your gift away.”
“That’s one to think about”, Jarvis says, giggling sheepishly, once again revealing her true nature: why on earth would she give anything away? The purpose of her life is collecting gifts, period. Allowing her fans to send her presents is wat gives meaning to their lives, she truly believes this. She’s obviously stark raving mad and everybody in her orbit, including the puppy squirrel she pays to act like her boyfriend (not his most convincing part as an actor), knows this but instead of calling a doctor to get her the help she clearly needs (if only to get a reality check: no, you are not aristocratic) they laugh at her behind her back. Makes one wish the custom of tying someone to a pillory would make a comeback. I know I like to throw a whole lot of things at her.

 

[Trengilly]

Lord oh Lord I'm going to have to take another break from the CD and sadly here too - in the meantime I'll wait for the ensuing shit storm in the marquee on lawns of LieLande come Patron day. My cortisol levels can't take the frustration. That additional channel, as others have said, further highlights Stephanie Jarvis's complete disregard for renovating her HMN. I'm just plain and simple furious with it all. Everything is about money and ego with SJ. This woman has to be stopped - fraudulently taking money from people under the pretence of renovating her chateau and having very little to show for it, all the while holidaying all around the world, adorning her HMN with ephemera before structurally securing the building and consistently presenting new clothes and jewellery while an electrical and heating system needs urgent repairs. I'm currently still on my extended break but I head back to Paris to start work again in Sept and resume the food bank volunteering. I know when I return it'll be worse than ever with more desperation, more glaring injustice and more unbelievable decisions families are having to make in order to live in 2022. Cut to SJ and her pursuit for all things Marie Antoinette..... it's all just plain wrong. Speak to you all intermittently until the big day.

 

[KiKiGee]

What a difference a year makes.
Stephanie Jarvis and Philip Janssen were Christie's Tastemakers one year ago.
They have cleansed their IG posts and #s of all evidence, regarding their time in New York.
Why??? Oh, because it was an epic fail.
This is Jill Waddell's IG account.



This year Stephanie Jarvis launched a new YT channel.
Will it succeed or will it too, be an epic fail???
Time will tell.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Clara is uniquely placed to be able to follow her own lines of enquiry and seems to have done really well without any of us muscling in on this particular topic. I think we need to step away until such time as it may or may not become public knowledge.

I'm really counting on what I know now to become public knowledge sooner rather than later and would not have said anything if I wasn't. Please don't start speculating about what I haven't said and also take into consideration I have my reasons to voice certain things here to make it easier to connect dots elsewhere because things tend to start moving when discussed by us tattlers. They all read here too, you know.

 

[On Repeat]

According to this workaway volunteer Percy was in on it, even back then. From the same email:
"Also, yesterday, during lunch time, there was an argument between Percy and Isabelle as to whether everyone should be allowed to eat a thin slice of packaged ham with their salad. I do not believe that Percy's objection was coming from his concern about exposing us to this unhealthy nitrate-packed product. It was quite obviously coming from the considerations of economy."

Oh FFS this is too much. After your last reveal I was very triggered and swore off commenting. Here I am again...because old people, people being taken for a ride, people being abused financially and emotionally does my head in. I have worked in the care/health sector and have seen it all, this family unfortunately just fits the profile of many I have seen before. Except this time the bastards are using other people's money to paint a wholesome image. Absolute scum.

 

[Jules100]

@sues900, whilst I was adding yours, I noticed you changed your profile pic to an S, so I made you an S too.

@Yankee Doodle, whilst working up close on your tile, I noticed a tiny guy up on the top. Is it you?

@Pekey, fluffy dogs are very hard to do on my iPhone photo editing markup tool, I tried.

As @Clara Burnett said earlier in this thread, almost done!