TenTonKaren
Well-known member
December in Team RH HQ
- we got so much traction from that sob story I told about My Rach. Guaranteed to get loads of January signups
- the rebrand got loads of likes. Guaranteed to get loads of January signups
- they all fell for that Sandra bullshit. Guaranteed to get loads of January signups. We can all relax because I'm fucking brilliant
15th of December, his Colombian marching powder habit has peaked, he's not slept in 3 days
"All holidays are cancelled, we need to launch a brand new barbell product on boxing day, and a new version of the app. No one's allowed to sleep until it happens"
Boxing day, all his presents from his sycophantic staff are unopened. He's sacked his HR Manager because she didn't sack the member of staff who complained about him trying to shag them at the Xmas party while he was off his face on beak. He's wondering why the Chinese haven't shipped the cheap as fuck £5 barbells that he's going to sell for £50 despite spending all Xmas promising people they'll be in stock, promises everyone they'll be in stock by the 28th. Demands Rachel goes Live to calm everyone down then remembers that she dumped him 10 months ago
Decides to fat shame some lass that he took a photo of at the gym on Xmas Eve in the hope that someone likes his post and makes his miserable existence feel worthwhile
Cries into a bowl of Weetabix and cottage cheese
Sends all the female staff a "happy Xmas" DM on WhatsApp in the hope that one of them replies, spends the rest of the day chatting them up in the hope that they come round to his
They don't, he tries to have a wank but can't get it up because of all the roids and coke
Goes live on FB and slags off weight watchers. Demands all his staff come in at 8am coz he's got a world class idea (spoiler, it's not world class). Ruins everyone's Christmas, apart from Richie Barker, because he's a cunt too
- we got so much traction from that sob story I told about My Rach. Guaranteed to get loads of January signups
- the rebrand got loads of likes. Guaranteed to get loads of January signups
- they all fell for that Sandra bullshit. Guaranteed to get loads of January signups. We can all relax because I'm fucking brilliant
15th of December, his Colombian marching powder habit has peaked, he's not slept in 3 days
"All holidays are cancelled, we need to launch a brand new barbell product on boxing day, and a new version of the app. No one's allowed to sleep until it happens"
Boxing day, all his presents from his sycophantic staff are unopened. He's sacked his HR Manager because she didn't sack the member of staff who complained about him trying to shag them at the Xmas party while he was off his face on beak. He's wondering why the Chinese haven't shipped the cheap as fuck £5 barbells that he's going to sell for £50 despite spending all Xmas promising people they'll be in stock, promises everyone they'll be in stock by the 28th. Demands Rachel goes Live to calm everyone down then remembers that she dumped him 10 months ago
Decides to fat shame some lass that he took a photo of at the gym on Xmas Eve in the hope that someone likes his post and makes his miserable existence feel worthwhile
Cries into a bowl of Weetabix and cottage cheese
Sends all the female staff a "happy Xmas" DM on WhatsApp in the hope that one of them replies, spends the rest of the day chatting them up in the hope that they come round to his
They don't, he tries to have a wank but can't get it up because of all the roids and coke
Goes live on FB and slags off weight watchers. Demands all his staff come in at 8am coz he's got a world class idea (spoiler, it's not world class). Ruins everyone's Christmas, apart from Richie Barker, because he's a cunt too