Sali Hughes #8 The palpable absence of chill

[Helen]

Hi all,

I've seen screenshots that appear to show Sali Hughes has been sending messages to members that (in my opinion) are an attempt to silence and intimidate people. The messages have not been verified but I've good reason to believe they are genuine.

Remember as this is a public message board to trust no one. There's been suspicious posters trying to blend into this thread that in the past that have been banned after multiple pieces of information that indicate they weren't here for genuine reasons.

The only way someone can track you down is from the information you post, unless they have committed illegal activity to access data. The tattle servers are managed by professionals on up to date software with the latest patches with no known security holes so are very secure.

Avoid posting any identifying information or anonymise any identifying information and report any posters you have concerns with. Be very careful if you receive a PM that is fishing for information as no one here has been vetted.

The legal advice we've had is that all posts by members are an individuals opinions on a public figure and information they choose to broadcast, so defamation is not a concern but do report any posters you think are trying to intimidate and scare people to stop posting.

Only people with the "staff member" badge are moderators on the forum.

Thanks for reading this, I'm sure most of you knew this already but I wanted to state it

 

[GTL Old-Timer]

My feeling is that Sali was perturbed that these threads about her on Tattle had not died down. So she did what bullies do and picked on someone who lacks the confidence to fight back.

The individual I chatted with last night (after having been asked to advise by Jelly Bean and Betsy Doodah) is someone who hasn’t posted many times here, and whose comments here have been fairly anodyne. It has been quite easy for many to identify the individual, so therefore relatively easy for thickos like Sali and Lauren.

Sali came across as quite condescending - asked why the forum member felt the need to slag her off (which this member had not done) and hoped there was still some decency “in there” as though she was an inhuman little creature. A second message followed an hour or so later in which Sali laid out this members full name, and usernames from blogging sites - in an attempt to unsettle her, I think.

She must have assumed that this member would have been too afraid or have felt too isolated to ask for help. Thankfully, she could not have been more wrong.

In us highlighting her tactics here, Sali has now been caught off guard and so has foolishly come out all guns blazing. Except she is deliberately misrepresenting what has happened.

I assume she is referring to me as the self-appointed Messiah because I started this thread. Classic case of projection! And I certainly didn’t feed you horseshit because two other members of this forum were also privy to last night’s revelations and they can also verify what happened.

She’s claiming we want to sue her for blocking us! We don’t, but I bloody well will if she defames or makes wrongful accusations against me.

She claims we slag her off, suggesting that the accusations levelled against her are false. They are not as we have got screenshots of the proof.

She projects her own flaws onto us - SHE bullies, belittles and dehumanises innocent people. SHE is NOT an innocent.

And what she doesn’t seem to understand is that as long as she continues to play this game, so will we. I am not going anywhere and, if it was me she was talking about as the Messiah, I damn well DO have my balls out because if there is one thing I cannot stand, it’s bullies and thugs.

So buckle up, Sali, because I’m in this for the long haul. Leave us alone and get on with your life, and we will extend to you the same courtesy. Keep spreading lies and attempt to defame, doxx, or harass? Well then, there are lots of legal ways we can retaliate. Quite literally.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Good morning Skidsters.
Am I imagining it or one year did SH recommend as a Christmas gift some drops you put down the bogger to make your shite smell less rank? I can imagine my Granny's excited face whilst unwrapping that.

Hmm... It’s too early in the year for the one about generic perfumes men can buy for women on Christmas Eve... C Tilbs Dahling, and how to rock grown-up glitter at your work Christmas party?

Yes you are probably along the right tracks with a Christmas party themed column.
'Never too early to prepare. I personally loathe the enforced office party and always have but I understand some plebs have to attend said functions. If pressed I would always rock a bold red lip and a dizzying statement heel. A quick spritz of Chanel 5 grabbed from my Gucci clutch and I am ready to hit the dancefloor. 2am sees me sweaty but happy after jigging away to the Pet Shop Boys. I may visit the ladies for a quick makeup touch-up - Charlotte Tilbury is your best friend here - before returning for a last rousing Vogue-off with my girlfriends. Then a taxi home. Tired, hoarse but happy'.

 

[muffintop13]

Hi everyone! I've been here on Tattle for a while reading about some of the Slimming World Instagrams. Until THAT FRIDAY I didn't know who Sali Hughes was but when I saw her video shared on The Londoner's stories (Ro is my favourite thread on another site) I watched a bit of it and thought she might be talking about a site like Tattle. Some of the Instagram threads on here can be harsh but I decided to read Sali's from the beginning to try and find out where all the stuff in the video was coming from. I saw no vindictive and nasty trolling and instead found genuine questions, concern, gossip, stories of Sali's own horrendous bullying and countless reasons NOT to listen to any of her recommendations. I am now a big reader of the Actually Honest thread and follow this one too. If she does manage to find out who I am then I take comfort in the fact I'm still not the bully she is and if that makes me a beef-faced shit-mouth C word without an ounce of self awareness then so be it!

 

[Jelly Bean]

I think I've done SH a disservice. I read her new agent bio describing something as having 'the Sali effect' whenever she mentions it and frankly I was sceptical. But Tattle membership was about 24,000 before she mentioned it and now, a few weeks later, is nearly 35,000. So I guess I'm the silly one .

 

[Eurides]

I’ve been lurking for weeks . I saw the thread on mumsnet, wondered what the fuss was about , saw the video Sali Hughes made about these awful trolls. It sounded horrific .
I thought I’d see for myself ( had never heard of tattle life before That weekend).
What I found was a questioning of influencer culture. Intelligent witty commentators whose points about being sick of the shilling , sick of the consumerism, sick of the falseness, echoed what I’ve been feeling myself . More power to you

 

[PennyBr]

"

Oh Sali well-known writer where are the lies? And the site is pretty strict, that's what kills you the most as a quick read shows it isn't the lawless troll fest you like to say it is but a sensible discussion with valid points on shady people.

... i came here for that lawless troll fest, on a very memorable friday, still looking for it BTW, i imagined shady pics of Sali taking her kids to school taken from a nearby bush. I stayed to read some extremely well rounded thoughts on the so called writer, that forgot any journalistic code and acts like a walking digital billboard. Not posting much, as everything i have to say has been written much better than i ever could, but will continue lurking here.

 

[sineadf]

A lasered labia and microbladed minge. "Rocking a red lip" just got more interesting!

#cantlivewithout

 

[Aude]

SH tweets: 'Literally no one in the outside world thinks it [the Tattle discussion] is normal'. But is anything in the world of influencers 'normal'?

I don't think it's normal, for example, for hundreds of strangers to tell a person daily (on IG) how amazing/beautiful/clever they are. Before that Friday, in the days when I didn't give beauty influencers much thought, one thing I did wonder was what it did to a person to be the recipient of so much admiration/adulation/gratitude. Pretty tough, I'd have thought, to keep a sense of perspective.

What I do think is normal though is that when questioning or dissent is closed down it finds another outlet.

 

[BostonFernGreen]

Something is up with the pejorative language employed again and again when talking about this forum.

It’s no different to Mumsnet, GtL, Reddit or Instagram.

It’s cheap and Trumpy to dismiss it all as trolly fake news.

As for being not normal or lunatics or whatever else. Nobody is normal. Most people have their own brand of madness. And what. Do you know what tho I don’t sit around journaling and then expect to sell it and then get indignant that someone has read it and expressed an opinion.

And also what is pathetic about making friends online? So wait is the internet just for hustling then? No genuine human interaction just sell and promote.

There are literally careers called being a critic where people analyse and discuss the work or other people and publish it for money. If the Guardian hasn’t said so then your critique is meaningless and you’re a troll? What?

 

[Jelly Bean]

I was reading the MN thread about the MOD debacle and it was very interesting actually to see a sort of outsider view of both MOD and Tattle. One poster wrote about influencer culture in a way I'd tried to articulate but couldn't as well as they did. It was along the lines of how strange the rise of the influencer is, how they invite people into their lives and homes, and their family and children's lives. They tell you snippets about their day and how they are feeling. They want to make you feel like a friend and so when they tell you about a product they love, you trust them and possibly might buy it. Because they are so friendly and trustworthy. They get 100s of 1000s of strangers to do this who on a daily basis also tell them how much they love them, how amazing and pretty they are. Yet all this isn't enough for them. They have to obsess over the handful of people who are disillusioned with them and find somewhere to talk about it. Hence Mother of Daughters joining Tattle and other influencers making angry videos.

 

[Mselvista]

I'd also like to make a point about the "mentally ill" jibes she's making. I do have mental health issues actually - CPTSD. And like a lot of people I have experienced anxiety and depression. Mental illness is not something to shame people with and put them down. Her comments are nasty and stigmatising. She should be ashamed.

Commenting to support and agree with you @J4n0Z but not really able to articulate it particularly well this morning.
It may seem odd to some (and I don't want to generalise or claim to speak for @J4n0Zor anyone else here) but saying "I have x/y mental health condition/mental illness" publicly even when anonymous can still feel scarey if you've learnt to feel ashamed of your diagnosis.

I have bipolar disorder (bipolar 1). It doesn't mean I'm not rational, intelligent or self aware. In fact (and others with mental health issues will doubtless recognise this) I have to be incredibly self aware and am constantly self monitoring my behaviour and thoughts. I have to be vigilant in an attempt to recognise an episode of depression or mania as early as possible so any impact on my dependants, work performance and health is minimised. This self monitoring can literally do my own head in at times.
So, yeah, Sali, fuck you. And well said @J4n0Z

 

[BostonFernGreen]

That’s interesting @Jelly Bean . I would definitely be hesitant to talk about something in such damning terms if I hadn’t seen it before. Does she say she hasn’t seen it herself so she can explain why she lied in the video?? But then why make a video about something you’re not totally sure of.

I’m very sorry for anyone who suffers crippling anxiety. An interesting piece of research might be whether or not spending X amount of hours on Instagram/sharing X personal details/relying on Instagram for money or a sense of self can play into higher levels of anxiety.

There is a question of personal responsibility when you choose your career. Some people are very robust and don’t care what people say about them. Others focus in on the negatives and can’t move past them.

if someone of the latter disposition does something immoral/gains from being deceptive/is a ruthless salesperson masquerading as a friend then what should the rest of us do? Stay quiet so they can continue without having hurt feelings seems to be the influencer stance.

That’s ok, but then up pops another person who is highly anxious due to the unrealistic goals set for their image by influencer culture. The message is that person doesn’t matter.

From my perspective that’s all wrong - I believe in a utilitarian sort of outlook. If the career you choose is damaging to a lot of people the smallest thing you can do to compensate is listen to the damage and see if some can be repaired. It is reprehensible to me that a person could steam through life being a bully and a manipulator and then cry damages at the response. I didn’t go looking for SH. She looked for my readership and follow and support, which I did for years and years.

But it seems that tracking is only welcome if you LOVE the content and agree with it or simply walk away. That’s not how most people work. Most people develop relationships with the culture and react. It’s healthy and it creates new forms of culture and art and community. To try to stunt that natural process for your own gain is supremely nasty and self important. But it’s also foolish.

unfortunately I think the reason the MOD story was so big is because everyone knows the influencer bubble is bursting. Maybe sali thinks there is enough demand for fluff pieces but if I were her I would be honing my serious journalism skills with the assumption that appetite for tat has waned irreversibly. And that would mean reading something before you publicly and strongly attempt to discredit it. Trying to shut something down without ever having seen it is very questionable behaviour.

 

[J4n0Z]

She’ll be kicking herself for claiming friends and family members are keeping her up to date on everything here because it’s obviously not happening, no friend or family member in their right mind would do that.

Morning folks

Exactly this. I'm imagining being in the same position (as if but let's pretend) and asking my friends and family to do this. They'd be WTF?

So, the conclusion is that the "reporters" - if they exist - don't like her very much and are enjoying all the drama. Or - she's reading here.

I suspect the latter.

I'd also like to make a point about the "mentally ill" jibes she's making. I do have mental health issues actually - CPTSD. And like a lot of people I have experienced anxiety and depression. Mental illness is not something to shame people with and put them down. Her comments are nasty and stigmatising. She should be ashamed.

 

[melfish]

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

Hi pals, I’ve been lurking since that infamous video. It’s not nearly as bad here as it’s been made out to be, to put it mildly. I don’t really have anything insightful to say, but I wanted to throw in Mac’s lipstick in ‘mehr’ as a nice ‘my lips but better’ option. The makeup artist who did my wedding makeup recommended it to me and it works for my pale skin. Bit late to that particular discussion but I finally caught up and wanted to throw it out there in case it was useful to someone else! #notanad #notsponsored

 

[PopperDops]

Oh the thread title has changed! Only just noticed.


She is at great pains to point out she never reads here. She did that when talking about Tattle on GtL - 'someone told me they were talking about me'.

You know, it’s funny, but I was in Superdrug today and all the while as I was browsing, it was constantly in the back of my mind to NOT BUY ANYTHING I DIDNT NEED. It’s almost like this thread and my complete distrust of IGers is having the opposite effect on me and making me want to not part with my money. It was liberating.

 

[Jelly Bean]

And how come all these people skip the most frequent thing discussed here? The sweaters discussed were the ones every influencer wears and is making them look like a bunch of groupies of a boy band called 1970.

I wondered that too. The skilfull sidestepping of any comments about bullying, getting people the sack through a Twitter campaign, the 'coven'. And seriously if you are an influencer appearing regularly on IG why the fuck are you so shaken about people commenting on your watch or tattoes? 1000s of people (with aliases but that is OK) telling you 'Omg your skin is amazing. You are so beautiful'. And then about three say 'have you seen her watch'. And that is what you focus on? Of course the Twitter tout will fail to mention the numerous amount of people on here who said 'actually I like her watch' and 'don't be so mean' (which they did). But that doesn't fit the narrative at all does it.

 

[Nonah]

Only one reply to the Guardian’s twitter post for SH’s column this week...

 

[Moe]

Hi Sally I’d never heard of you before your epi and not interested in the stuff you flog but thank you for directing me to this site I love it so thank you so much