Lauren Goodger #25 Cankles, FaceTune & streaky hair, she struts the streets in market wear

[annabelle_bronstein]

I had a child's typewriter and used to write stories about my Itty Bitty rubbers <don't lock me up - they were a collector thing>.

I think Chaz is now wishing he’d used an itty bitty rubber

 

[Sunnydaze101]

Isn’t Charlie a good boy. He’s learnt to chop her face in half now too.

Except he’s not very good. Took too much off the right side now it’s uneven

 

[Sunnydaze101]

Utter bollocks that someone’s messaged her saying “I don’t believe you’re pregnant because your face is so skinny” She needs to be sectioned!

Exactly. Trying to make out people think her face is skinny. Deluded fool

1: How does she get paid for this shite?
2: How would they find baby photos of Charles clearing out HER flat?
3: That sentence “You may have noticed on one of my Instagram posts Charlie said I was glowing”
4: Again who is paying her for this drivel.

Exactly. Clearing out HER Old flat and Charlie’s pictures just happened to be there

and her comment about warning Charlie...people will say our baby is ugly. Ummmm. That’s the least of your worries, it should be feeding and sleeping and caring concerns you talk abou with Charlie. She’s so caught up on this whole looks of the baby thing.

 

[xyzcba]

As soon as I saw this I thought of a bird, but I couldn't think what so I have found the closest to what popped up in my head. I think it's the usual vacuous, dead behind the eyes, no brain look, and odd angle that suggests she can fully spin it like an owl.

• Polyester jumpsuit
• In pink (cos yun gel)
• Cradle bump
• Look nonchalantly (Google it Loz, we'll wait...) at pesky paps
• Trim face but forget neck wrinkles
• Place faceapped face on this one as didn't like real face
• Sell to DM for whatever your dignity's worth

Nailed it love.

 

[Kilo005]

Big Loz has been hopping into the DM comments again I see...

 

[Jersey Girl]

Congratulations to @MunHun for our new thread title (sorry I had to trim it slightly) and thanks to @xyzcba Big Loz has her own wiki page on here listing some of her more grotesque and maddening behaviour. Bravo and thank you for your service.

She left her pit to go to a Covid rule breaking gender reveal party and let off environmentally damaging and unsafe for animals Chinese lanterns whilst wearing her several sizes too small real-fur coat (what would PETA say? Turns out they don’t give a fuck ) whilst Oddbod sat in the corner comfort eating pizza.

She also photoshopped herself a triangular head with an almost completely flat face which was most odd. 3 days later she was posting about a factory farmed pig being let free in a field. Her hypocrisy levels have now cleared the stratosphere.

Her fanz are worried Oddbod is a wife-beater, a comment which doesn’t think needs addressing/ denying or deleting. She’s also been writing herself messages again - noticeable as they follow her own pattern of illiteracy - purporting to be from other up-the-duff yungels with no friends who are just misunderstood.

I absolutely loved this haiku-esque number from @Blowup80 which is still making me cackle to myself. I thought I’d apply the art form myself:
Her face looked so flat
As the lantern ascended
Photoshop fail Loz

She’s still taking her ‘helfy’ eatin’ seriously with lots of nutritious things like sweets, a spag bowl with peas and pasta possibly coated in butter ; and one of her now famous bangin’ shit inducing roast roasts with enough potatoes for the population of Essex.

We were overdue another set up pap-walk and she delivered in a stretched into next week blue polyester number with a suspicious stain on the side. Bewful babes, looking immaculate. Obvs photoshop and FaceApp were used in the production of these shots but the reflection of her actual figure in a window was neglected. She also forgot her trotters hands. Oops . The bloated white skin reminds me of a corpse that got dredged up from a river in Silent Witness.

The lack of bump shots was brought up and as always ask and you shall receive - lounging in the stinky “milk” and fake tan stained pit, and showing off her newly acquired rickets

We have clocked a number of secret squirrels infiltrating the thread to spy, or lead the conversation in a certain direction - we had a very not obvious code for highlighting them - I may or may not be an expert at this 🥸

@Katie8ee unearthed a very interesting article about Big Loz saying that “parents should not go to work and leave (their child) with a nanny... no amount of money or career is worth leaving my baby with a stranger.” Given she has no career or money that may not be a problem for her, but how is baby Laulie going to be fed? Puréed Papa John’s and Desi Indian?

She really does think motherhood will all be a (set up) walk in the park dressed up like a drag Queen impersonating Kim K. She’ll need to rethink the boots though because this.

She promised a ‘wardrobe page’ for the clothes that no longer fit her, some would say they never did... She’s also made Oddbod get rid of his stuff which seems to just be slightly too small shiny shiny tracksuits. Form an orderly queue people. Try not to brawl over the scuba suit.

And please don’t forget our campaign to #freecharlie who may need winching out of her flat. Thanks to @Pom Bear for our excellent poster.

The bloated white skin reminds me of a corpse that got dredged up from a river in Silent Witness.

OMG !!!

 

[JakeM]

What have I missed ? I was so bedazzled by the bewful diamonds I had to put my phone down. Is she still in pregacy?

The bewful yungel is 45 weeks into her pregacy today.

 

[liar liar]

I agree with all of this. But I honestly think that 'fame' in whatever capacity is what validates her, which is why she clings so desperately to it. And that will always affect any genuine relationships she tries to have, until she deals with those issues.

No normal person would enjoy being around this sort of ridiculous behaviour, and wouldn't put up with it, so the relationships we do see; Charlie, that twatty Goodman, KP - are also all car crash people who clearly need fame for validation too. So it's a vicious cycle that only she can break. But that would take work, and she is simply too lazy.

My tuppence for what it's worth.

All the people you name and I would include Gemma Collins and Kerry Katona - yes - they are totally addicted to fame at whatever personal cost. What completely pisses me off is that they are allowed to make pronouncements about what others should do with their lives whilst doing the exact opposite - like Harry & Meghan. Nobody calls them out to their faces on tv about it ever and there are no journalists out their who have the balls to write the bliddy truth. All have had businesses which have collapsed owing millions in total to HMRC, accountants, solicitors, landlords, utilities but worst of all small businesses. If I owed £50 quid to my gas provider they would take me to court. There is something totally wrong going on in this country where these people are not accountable. Yet every day we are fed another lie about collaborations with this company, or a new house, or a free kitchen make-over. It has to stop.

 

[minnietheminx]

Let's be honest apart from us and the DM gang who find her hilarious nobody knows who she is. I only discovered the her last boxing day. BBC wouldn't touch with a barge...

No tv company will, she’s toxic, cyanara, catfish, bad attitude and she can’t go on tv because she won’t be seen in her natural state, it’s one thing sitting still on loose women with full make up, good sngles snd filtered lighting, it’s another seeing it move an walk, look at celebs go dating, you could tell she was so uncomfortable in her own skin and ended up leaving! The promo shots snd videos that are heavily edited were fine, but the real thing, well.... Ting Tong springs to mind!

 

[AimlessShameless]

Long weekend? Every day in lozzaland is a long weekend!

 

[Sunnydaze101]

She doesn’t give a shit about the baby. It’s all going to be dress ups and Instagram.

 

[annabelle_bronstein]

Looks like he’s into doing car parks/garages now like Lozza

From the thumbnail I thought it was specialist amputee porn

 

[Clickbait]

So is Laulié London an IG page for her to sell off her used clothing from the attic?! Is this so Depop don’t take a cut? Or are they expecting to manufacture leisurewear themselves, with the combined production know-how and business acumen of the detritus at the bottom of her oven. Having a logo and an IG page does not a business make.

 

[Sunnydaze101]

The way she's holding the cutlery looks odd to me. Maybe it is just me but it doesn't look quite right. Hmmm...

All I see is pickled onion space raiders…. Pentagon did confirm a few weeks ago that the UFO pics are real

 

[annabelle_bronstein]

Thread suggestion - another day another disgusting dinner, still filtering her pictures so she looks four sizes thinner

 

[Freeka]

We’re getting some culinary delights tonight... sauce says it serves 2 but she’s using 2 sachets

Just washed her raw chicken under a fast tap splattering a lot of her kitchen with raw blood n juice. Top tip. Do NOT wash raw chicken you are spreading bacteria

 

[Noonoosanne2]

Charlie’s in for it now!

 

[Pom Bear]

We miss your furry little paws @Pom Bear

I've popped in to say hello xx

Hurrah!!!! Well done welcome to the club! Wish little @Pom Bear was here to give you a badge

Here you go xx.
Hello Katie xxx

I will pop in again and catch up from where I left off over the weekend..I can do pics again but I won't risk any pics of Loz and Chaz due to what happened sadly.. I cant say too much at the moment.
I can't make daily pics but I be commenting and reacting again


I've missed everyone on here xx.

 

[SATCGOSS]

This article is a laugh.

Pregnant Lauren Goodger 'considers stepping back from spotlight' to protect baby

Lauren Goodger is eagerly awaiting the arrival of her first baby with partner Charles Drury, the mum-to-be reportedly thinking how she can protect their daughter from the negativity that can come with fame

www.google.co.uk

And I have another funny one too.

Lauren Goodger says she and Charles Drury are next Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Lauren Goodger and her boyfriend Charles Drury are expecting their first child together this summer - and it seems she's got high hopes for a family business empire

www.google.co.uk

Ummmm. Michelle gets more likes and comments when she posts a picture of her dog than Lauren gets with a picture of her baby scan or big announcement.

Stepping away from the spotlight as she says she doesn’t want to be compared to the Faiers sisters and Ferne.
Right...... Basically grovelled on her knees for a TV show and months later she still hasn’t got one so is now trying to pretend that it was her choice .

Followed up with another article (in the same 24 hours) desperately seeking Kardashian fame

I cannot deal with this level of humiliation she must have right now and she has paid her agent to do this to her !!!!!!!

 

[xyzcba]

We've seen her moon face on the OK reveal video, which looks even more moon-y due to baybeh, and that was weeks ago. She's trying to make people believe she's not shrinking half her face on pics and videos. She's honestly so full of