Lauren Goodger #25 Cankles, FaceTune & streaky hair, she struts the streets in market wear

[Clickbait]

Congratulations to @MunHun for our new thread title (sorry I had to trim it slightly) and thanks to @xyzcba Big Loz has her own wiki page on here listing some of her more grotesque and maddening behaviour. Bravo and thank you for your service.

She left her pit to go to a Covid rule breaking gender reveal party and let off environmentally damaging and unsafe for animals Chinese lanterns whilst wearing her several sizes too small real-fur coat (what would PETA say? Turns out they don’t give a fuck ) whilst Oddbod sat in the corner comfort eating pizza.

She also photoshopped herself a triangular head with an almost completely flat face which was most odd. 3 days later she was posting about a factory farmed pig being let free in a field. Her hypocrisy levels have now cleared the stratosphere.

Her fanz are worried Oddbod is a wife-beater, a comment which she doesn’t think needs addressing/ denying or deleting. She’s also been writing herself messages again - noticeable as they follow her own pattern of illiteracy - purporting to be from other up-the-duff yungels with no friends who are just misunderstood.

I absolutely loved this haiku-esque number from @Blowup80 which is still making me cackle to myself. I thought I’d apply the art form myself:
Her face looked so flat
As the lantern ascended
Photoshop fail Loz

She’s still taking her ‘helfy’ eatin’ seriously with lots of nutritious things like sweets, a spag bowl with peas and pasta possibly coated in butter ; and one of her now famous bangin’ tit inducing roast roasts with enough potatoes for the population of Essex.

We were overdue another set up pap-walk and she delivered in a stretched-into-next-week blue polyester number with a suspicious stain on the side. Bewful babes, looking immaculate. Obvs photoshop and FaceApp were used in the production of these shots but the reflection of her actual figure in a window was neglected. She also forgot her trotters hands. Oops . The bloated white skin reminds me of a corpse that got dredged up from a river in ‘Silent Witness’.

The lack of bump shots was brought up and as always ask and you shall receive - lounging in the stinky “milk” and fake tan stained pit, and showing off her newly acquired rickets

We have clocked a number of secret squirrels infiltrating the thread to spy, or lead the conversation in a certain direction - we had a very not obvious code for highlighting them - I may or may not be an expert at this 🥸

@Katie8ee unearthed a very interesting article about Big Loz saying that “parents should not go to work and leave (their child) with a nanny... no amount of money or career is worth leaving my baby with a stranger.” Given she has no career or money that may not be a problem for her, but how is baby Laulie going to be fed? Puréed Papa John’s and Desi Indian?

She really does think motherhood will all be a (set up) walk in the park dressed up like a drag Queen impersonating Kim K. She’ll need to rethink the boots though because this.

She promised a ‘wardrobe page’ for the clothes that no longer fit her, some would say they never did... She’s also made Oddbod get rid of his stuff which seems to just be slightly too small shiny shiny tracksuits. Form an orderly queue people. Try not to brawl over the scuba suit.

And please don’t forget our campaign to #freecharlie who may need winching out of her flat. Thanks to @Pom Bear for our excellent poster.

 

[NinaStar90]

We're getting through these threads like Big Loz does a Pizza Hut Family Feast.

 

[Blowup80]

Congratulations to @MunHun for our new thread title (sorry I had to trim it slightly) and thanks to @xyzcba Big Loz has her own wiki page on here listing some of her more grotesque and maddening behaviour. Bravo and thank you for your service.

She left her pit to go to a Covid rule breaking gender reveal party and let off environmentally damaging and unsafe for animals Chinese lanterns whilst wearing her several sizes too small real-fur coat (what would PETA say? Turns out they don’t give a fuck ) whilst Oddbod sat in the corner comfort eating pizza.

She also photoshopped herself a triangular head with an almost completely flat face which was most odd. 3 days later she was posting about a factory farmed pig being let free in a field. Her hypocrisy levels have now cleared the stratosphere.

Her fanz are worried Oddbod is a wife-beater a comment which doesn’t think needs addressing/ denying or deleting. She’s also been writing herself messages again - noticeable as they follow her own pattern of illiteracy - purporting to be from other up-the-duff yungels with no friends who are just misunderstood.

I absolutely loved this haiku-esque number from @Blowup80 which is still making me cackle to myself. I thought I’d apply the art form myself:
Her face looked so flat
As the lantern ascended
Photoshop fail Loz

She’s still taking her ‘helfy’ eatin’ seriously with lots of nutritious things like sweets, a spag bowl with peas and pasta possibly coated in butter ; and one of her now famous bangin’ tit inducing roast roasts with enough potatoes for the population of Essex.

We were overdue another set up pap-walk and she delivered in a stretched into next week blue polyester number with a suspicious stain on the side. Bewful babes, looking immaculate. Obvs photoshop and FaceApp were used in the production of these shots but the reflection of her actual figure in a window was neglected. She also forgot her trotters hands. Oops . The bloated white skin reminds me of a corpse that got dredged up from a river in Silent Witness.

The lack of bump shots was brought up and as always ask and you shall receive - lounging in the stinky “milk” and fake tan stained pit, and showing off her newly acquired rickets

We have clocked a number of secret squirrels infiltrating the thread to spy, or lead the conversation in a certain direction - we had a very not obvious code for highlighting them - I may or may not be an expert at this 🥸

@Katie8ee unearthed a very interesting article about Big Loz saying that “parents should not go to work and leave (their child) with a nanny... no amount of money or career is worth leaving my baby with a stranger.” Given she has no career or money that may not be a problem for her, but how is baby Laulie going to be fed? Puréed Papa John’s and Desi Indian?

She really does think motherhood will all be a (set up) walk in the park dressed up like a drag Queen impersonating Kim K. She’ll need to rethink the boots though because this.

She promised a ‘wardrobe page’ for the clothes that no longer fit her, some would say they never did... She’s also made Oddbod get rid of his stuff which seems to just be slightly too small shiny shiny tracksuits. Form an orderly queue people. Try not to brawl over the scuba suit.

And please don’t forget our campaign to #freecharlie who may need winching out of her flat. Thanks to @Pom Bear for our excellent poster.

You hairy fritzel I love you. bleeping genius once again!! You deserve some kind of award for this

And what a thread title!! Market wear Genius x

 

[JakeM]

Thank you @Clickbait for starting the new thread.
@MunHun I’m absolutely howling at the title!

I’ve just had a look at the spag “bowl”. Still struggling with her spelling I see.

 

[Jersey Girl]

Congratulations to @MunHun for our new thread title (sorry I had to trim it slightly) and thanks to @xyzcba Big Loz has her own wiki page on here listing some of her more grotesque and maddening behaviour. Bravo and thank you for your service.

She left her pit to go to a Covid rule breaking gender reveal party and let off environmentally damaging and unsafe for animals Chinese lanterns whilst wearing her several sizes too small real-fur coat (what would PETA say? Turns out they don’t give a fuck ) whilst Oddbod sat in the corner comfort eating pizza.

She also photoshopped herself a triangular head with an almost completely flat face which was most odd. 3 days later she was posting about a factory farmed pig being let free in a field. Her hypocrisy levels have now cleared the stratosphere.

Her fanz are worried Oddbod is a wife-beater, a comment which doesn’t think needs addressing/ denying or deleting. She’s also been writing herself messages again - noticeable as they follow her own pattern of illiteracy - purporting to be from other up-the-duff yungels with no friends who are just misunderstood.

I absolutely loved this haiku-esque number from @Blowup80 which is still making me cackle to myself. I thought I’d apply the art form myself:
Her face looked so flat
As the lantern ascended
Photoshop fail Loz

She’s still taking her ‘helfy’ eatin’ seriously with lots of nutritious things like sweets, a spag bowl with peas and pasta possibly coated in butter ; and one of her now famous bangin’ tit inducing roast roasts with enough potatoes for the population of Essex.

We were overdue another set up pap-walk and she delivered in a stretched into next week blue polyester number with a suspicious stain on the side. Bewful babes, looking immaculate. Obvs photoshop and FaceApp were used in the production of these shots but the reflection of her actual figure in a window was neglected. She also forgot her trotters hands. Oops . The bloated white skin reminds me of a corpse that got dredged up from a river in Silent Witness.

The lack of bump shots was brought up and as always ask and you shall receive - lounging in the stinky “milk” and fake tan stained pit, and showing off her newly acquired rickets

We have clocked a number of secret squirrels infiltrating the thread to spy, or lead the conversation in a certain direction - we had a very not obvious code for highlighting them - I may or may not be an expert at this 🥸

@Katie8ee unearthed a very interesting article about Big Loz saying that “parents should not go to work and leave (their child) with a nanny... no amount of money or career is worth leaving my baby with a stranger.” Given she has no career or money that may not be a problem for her, but how is baby Laulie going to be fed? Puréed Papa John’s and Desi Indian?

She really does think motherhood will all be a (set up) walk in the park dressed up like a drag Queen impersonating Kim K. She’ll need to rethink the boots though because this.

She promised a ‘wardrobe page’ for the clothes that no longer fit her, some would say they never did... She’s also made Oddbod get rid of his stuff which seems to just be slightly too small shiny shiny tracksuits. Form an orderly queue people. Try not to brawl over the scuba suit.

And please don’t forget our campaign to #freecharlie who may need winching out of her flat. Thanks to @Pom Bear for our excellent poster.

The bloated white skin reminds me of a corpse that got dredged up from a river in Silent Witness.

OMG !!!

 

[MunHun]

A corpse from silent witness

The bloated white skin reminds me of a corpse that got dredged up from a river in Silent Witness.

OMG !!!

Snap

 

[CentralLine]

Congratulations to @MunHun for our new thread title (sorry I had to trim it slightly) and thanks to @xyzcba Big Loz has her own wiki page on here listing some of her more grotesque and maddening behaviour. Bravo and thank you for your service.

She left her pit to go to a Covid rule breaking gender reveal party and let off environmentally damaging and unsafe for animals Chinese lanterns whilst wearing her several sizes too small real-fur coat (what would PETA say? Turns out they don’t give a fuck ) whilst Oddbod sat in the corner comfort eating pizza.

She also photoshopped herself a triangular head with an almost completely flat face which was most odd. 3 days later she was posting about a factory farmed pig being let free in a field. Her hypocrisy levels have now cleared the stratosphere.

Her fanz are worried Oddbod is a wife-beater, a comment which she doesn’t think needs addressing/ denying or deleting. She’s also been writing herself messages again - noticeable as they follow her own pattern of illiteracy - purporting to be from other up-the-duff yungels with no friends who are just misunderstood.

I absolutely loved this haiku-esque number from @Blowup80 which is still making me cackle to myself. I thought I’d apply the art form myself:
Her face looked so flat
As the lantern ascended
Photoshop fail Loz

She’s still taking her ‘helfy’ eatin’ seriously with lots of nutritious things like sweets, a spag bowl with peas and pasta possibly coated in butter ; and one of her now famous bangin’ tit inducing roast roasts with enough potatoes for the population of Essex.

We were overdue another set up pap-walk and she delivered in a stretched into next week blue polyester number with a suspicious stain on the side. Bewful babes, looking immaculate. Obvs photoshop and FaceApp were used in the production of these shots but the reflection of her actual figure in a window was neglected. She also forgot her trotters hands. Oops . The bloated white skin reminds me of a corpse that got dredged up from a river in ‘Silent Witness’.

The lack of bump shots was brought up and as always ask and you shall receive - lounging in the stinky “milk” and fake tan stained pit, and showing off her newly acquired rickets

We have clocked a number of secret squirrels infiltrating the thread to spy, or lead the conversation in a certain direction - we had a very not obvious code for highlighting them - I may or may not be an expert at this 🥸

@Katie8ee unearthed a very interesting article about Big Loz saying that “parents should not go to work and leave (their child) with a nanny... no amount of money or career is worth leaving my baby with a stranger.” Given she has no career or money that may not be a problem for her, but how is baby Laulie going to be fed? Puréed Papa John’s and Desi Indian?

She really does think motherhood will all be a (set up) walk in the park dressed up like a drag Queen impersonating Kim K. She’ll need to rethink the boots though because this.

She promised a ‘wardrobe page’ for the clothes that no longer fit her, some would say they never did... She’s also made Oddbod get rid of his stuff which seems to just be slightly too small shiny shiny tracksuits. Form an orderly queue people. Try not to brawl over the scuba suit.

And please don’t forget our campaign to #freecharlie who may need winching out of her flat. Thanks to @Pom Bear for our excellent poster.

Wonderfully written as always

 

[minnietheminx]

The bloated white skin reminds me of a corpse that got dredged up from a river in Silent Witness.

OMG !!!

Fuckin class!!!!

 

[Freeka]

I thought you guys were joking with the spag BOWL but it's there. I also checked out the hair thing company on trustpilot. It has 1* and every review saying it's a scam and no product ever arrives. Wow, not like Big Loz not to do due diligence on something she promotes.

 

[Facehugger]

The bloated white skin reminds me of a corpse that got dredged up from a river in Silent Witness.

OMG !!!

That bit had me crying! Brilliant @Clickbait and thanks for being our thread starter and thanks @MunHun too for the title

 

[Whatstheteasis]

Bravo @Clickbait
Brilliant as always! I’m creased laughing

 

[minnietheminx]

She must be livid that no-one, not even the DM are picking up the copyWRITE pics!!!! Soooo funny

 

[xyzcba]

Congratulations to @MunHun for our new thread title (sorry I had to trim it slightly) and thanks to @xyzcba Big Loz has her own wiki page on here listing some of her more grotesque and maddening behaviour. Bravo and thank you for your service.

She left her pit to go to a Covid rule breaking gender reveal party and let off environmentally damaging and unsafe for animals Chinese lanterns whilst wearing her several sizes too small real-fur coat (what would PETA say? Turns out they don’t give a fuck ) whilst Oddbod sat in the corner comfort eating pizza.

She also photoshopped herself a triangular head with an almost completely flat face which was most odd. 3 days later she was posting about a factory farmed pig being let free in a field. Her hypocrisy levels have now cleared the stratosphere.

Her fanz are worried Oddbod is a wife-beater, a comment which she doesn’t think needs addressing/ denying or deleting. She’s also been writing herself messages again - noticeable as they follow her own pattern of illiteracy - purporting to be from other up-the-duff yungels with no friends who are just misunderstood.

I absolutely loved this haiku-esque number from @Blowup80 which is still making me cackle to myself. I thought I’d apply the art form myself:
Her face looked so flat
As the lantern ascended
Photoshop fail Loz

She’s still taking her ‘helfy’ eatin’ seriously with lots of nutritious things like sweets, a spag bowl with peas and pasta possibly coated in butter ; and one of her now famous bangin’ tit inducing roast roasts with enough potatoes for the population of Essex.

We were overdue another set up pap-walk and she delivered in a stretched-into-next-week blue polyester number with a suspicious stain on the side. Bewful babes, looking immaculate. Obvs photoshop and FaceApp were used in the production of these shots but the reflection of her actual figure in a window was neglected. She also forgot her trotters hands. Oops . The bloated white skin reminds me of a corpse that got dredged up from a river in ‘Silent Witness’.

The lack of bump shots was brought up and as always ask and you shall receive - lounging in the stinky “milk” and fake tan stained pit, and showing off her newly acquired rickets

We have clocked a number of secret squirrels infiltrating the thread to spy, or lead the conversation in a certain direction - we had a very not obvious code for highlighting them - I may or may not be an expert at this 🥸

@Katie8ee unearthed a very interesting article about Big Loz saying that “parents should not go to work and leave (their child) with a nanny... no amount of money or career is worth leaving my baby with a stranger.” Given she has no career or money that may not be a problem for her, but how is baby Laulie going to be fed? Puréed Papa John’s and Desi Indian?

She really does think motherhood will all be a (set up) walk in the park dressed up like a drag Queen impersonating Kim K. She’ll need to rethink the boots though because this.

She promised a ‘wardrobe page’ for the clothes that no longer fit her, some would say they never did... She’s also made Oddbod get rid of his stuff which seems to just be slightly too small shiny shiny tracksuits. Form an orderly queue people. Try not to brawl over the scuba suit.

And please don’t forget our campaign to #freecharlie who may need winching out of her flat. Thanks to @Pom Bear for our excellent poster.

@Clickbait Hilarious as always! You are a legend & this round up has brightened my day.

Excited to see what the next 50 pages will bring. It's like we're writing our own book with a self-obsessed airhead as the protagonist but we didn't write her any friends... or a job... or a house, or any assets, or even a personality so we have to make her do silly futile things to fill the pages. She doesn't disappoint, I'll give her that!

 

[Sunnydaze101]

Congratulations to @MunHun for our new thread title (sorry I had to trim it slightly) and thanks to @xyzcba Big Loz has her own wiki page on here listing some of her more grotesque and maddening behaviour. Bravo and thank you for your service.

She left her pit to go to a Covid rule breaking gender reveal party and let off environmentally damaging and unsafe for animals Chinese lanterns whilst wearing her several sizes too small real-fur coat (what would PETA say? Turns out they don’t give a fuck ) whilst Oddbod sat in the corner comfort eating pizza.

She also photoshopped herself a triangular head with an almost completely flat face which was most odd. 3 days later she was posting about a factory farmed pig being let free in a field. Her hypocrisy levels have now cleared the stratosphere.

Her fanz are worried Oddbod is a wife-beater, a comment which she doesn’t think needs addressing/ denying or deleting. She’s also been writing herself messages again - noticeable as they follow her own pattern of illiteracy - purporting to be from other up-the-duff yungels with no friends who are just misunderstood.

I absolutely loved this haiku-esque number from @Blowup80 which is still making me cackle to myself. I thought I’d apply the art form myself:
Her face looked so flat
As the lantern ascended
Photoshop fail Loz

She’s still taking her ‘helfy’ eatin’ seriously with lots of nutritious things like sweets, a spag bowl with peas and pasta possibly coated in butter ; and one of her now famous bangin’ tit inducing roast roasts with enough potatoes for the population of Essex.

We were overdue another set up pap-walk and she delivered in a stretched-into-next-week blue polyester number with a suspicious stain on the side. Bewful babes, looking immaculate. Obvs photoshop and FaceApp were used in the production of these shots but the reflection of her actual figure in a window was neglected. She also forgot her trotters hands. Oops . The bloated white skin reminds me of a corpse that got dredged up from a river in ‘Silent Witness’.

The lack of bump shots was brought up and as always ask and you shall receive - lounging in the stinky “milk” and fake tan stained pit, and showing off her newly acquired rickets

We have clocked a number of secret squirrels infiltrating the thread to spy, or lead the conversation in a certain direction - we had a very not obvious code for highlighting them - I may or may not be an expert at this 🥸

@Katie8ee unearthed a very interesting article about Big Loz saying that “parents should not go to work and leave (their child) with a nanny... no amount of money or career is worth leaving my baby with a stranger.” Given she has no career or money that may not be a problem for her, but how is baby Laulie going to be fed? Puréed Papa John’s and Desi Indian?

She really does think motherhood will all be a (set up) walk in the park dressed up like a drag Queen impersonating Kim K. She’ll need to rethink the boots though because this.

She promised a ‘wardrobe page’ for the clothes that no longer fit her, some would say they never did... She’s also made Oddbod get rid of his stuff which seems to just be slightly too small shiny shiny tracksuits. Form an orderly queue people. Try not to brawl over the scuba suit.

And please don’t forget our campaign to #freecharlie who may need winching out of her flat. Thanks to @Pom Bear for our excellent poster.

Ohh the weeks memories just came flooding back. Hilarious!!!

I thought you guys were joking with the spag BOWL but it's there. I also checked out the hair thing company on trustpilot. It has 1* and every review saying it's a scam and no product ever arrives. Wow, not like Big Loz not to do due diligence on something she promotes.

I’m going to report it

Reported it as scam or fraud

 

[Clickbait]

@Clickbait Hilarious as always! You are a legend & this round up has brightened my day.

Couldn’t work out how to add the Wiki button but have posed the question in the Admin area.

@265 what’s with the cross face ? Sorry if you think I stole your thunder with starting a new thread but I did announce I’d be doing it as you and Katie weren’t about.

 

[BonsaiBobbi]

Thank you @Clickbait for starting the new thread.
@MunHun I’m absolutely howling at the title!

I’ve just had a look at the spag “bowl”. Still struggling with her spelling I see.

Spag bowl wiv wot I just got in. 'Cos schwunchies say I get ever fing new each tim. I can Russell Crowe anyfin outta bag pees and some mince innit. No won seen Charlie babes for few daze. Hope thay not wealise mince is him. Loves da babygel!

 

[JakeM]

Spag bowl wiv wot I just got in. 'Cos schwunchies say I get ever fing new each tim. I can Russell Crowe anyfin outta bag pees and some mince innit. No won seen Charlie babes for few daze. Hope thay not wealise mince is him. Loves da babygel!

“Well babes, you no, a just put in wat a fink needs to go in. No measurements or nufink! Those scwunchays on Tattuw say a can’t cook so am just proofing those yungews (and yungois) wron. Did a mention that am avin baybeh gel in Juletember?”

 

[Pearshaped]

She left her pit to go to a Covid rule breaking gender reveal party and let off environmentally damaging and unsafe for animals Chinese lanterns whilst wearing her several sizes too small real-fur coat (what would PETA say? Turns out they don’t give a fuck ) whilst Oddbod sat in the corner comfort eating pizza.

Brilliant

 

[Mollichop]

Comparing this photo to others of her I can’t see that she has moles on her stomach
But if it’s fake why didn’t she photoshop them out?
Also loving the spag bowl but there are definitely carrots in there and she said she didn’t have any! #ealfyliving #whatatwat

 

[Facehugger]

“Well babes, you no, a just put in wat a fink needs to go in. No measurements or nufink! Those scwunchays on Tattuw say a can’t cook so am just proofing those yungews (and yungois) wron. Did a mention that am avin baybeh gel in Juletember?”

Let's see if she proves me wrong then and cooks sumfin diffwent fwom chicken on Wknd babez