Thanks for all your votes for my thread title guyyyyys!!! *said in a SimpleSoph voice!
Recap:
Well, well, where do we start.
The last thread flew past with the Colchester Chavs going on a freebie Dubai 'PR stay', although the ASA will be working very hard now as most of the stories by both of them were not marked as such! Epic fail on behalf of the hotel management by choosing these arseholes to entice people to book. They won't! They yet again made Dubai look as boring and soulless as they are. Bad move.
Fakey, whilst pondering his next move to stay relevant, had a 'lightning bolt' moment and decided he was going to run the Marathon and 'raise funds for Sarcoma'. On day two of his 'training', he was already complaining about 'aches and pains' and has more of a chance of eating a Marathon Bar than actually running one.
Constantly filming, reading Tattle and keeping up with Twitter etc filled his days. Fred looked totally fed up of being filmed, they filmed the most cringeworthy reel known to man, a mysterious lump appeared in his pocket, which looked like a packet of fags, and Fred wore a very apt 'Fake' t-shirt! Footage was also seen of NikNak clearly walking strangely and as usual, away with the fairies!
We had a story involving the size of the prawns cooking and him referencing it to the proverbial insult of a prawn being used to insult a man's tiny cock. 'It doesn't bother me though anymore' - yeah right, tiny cock! Why mention it then?
We then had more photos and stories of them both glued to their phones, encouraging NikNak to yell in the hotel corridors, encouraging Fred to walk around barefoot and to kick a football right across a path where guests walk, Fakey making a spectacle of himself, stuffing his ratface with freebies, Fred being filmed falling over and they found it funny and Fakey taking the piss out of Flapz's 30th saying she looks more 40!
The Fakeys were then educated by Flapz that she calls red wine 'mum juice'. We are all still recovering from that one. We doubt there's any juice in her and she's as dry as Gandhi's old flip-flop being married to PantoBoy!!
Today we saw an article about them in The Scum written by somebody ie Polly Parrot who had obviously still not slept all weekend due to a crack binge with the amount of shit written. The article, in itself, is a complete PR disaster. Nobody wants to read about a 'luxury £500 a night holiday' during a cost of living crisis (even though they got it for free). The 'fund-raising marathon' wasn't even mentioned so what was the point? The public will dislike you both even more after this!
DANCING On Ice star Jake Quickenden has started the year right with a luxury family holiday to Dubai. The media personality, 34, escaped the post-Christmas blues with a £500 a night holiday at the …
www.thesun.co.uk
EPIC FAIL Polly and Ratboy!!!
Let the fun commence Fakeys. He has to face reality now and those gummies are calling!!!