Jack Monroe #34 Medicine won't lift her gloom. Lady doc says Facetune!

[SoulRebel]

Not to piss on Jack's parade but just popped in for a catch up and tell you my news. Daughter no.2 was expecting a baby on August 12th but she had him this morning. Early baby but he is 5lbs and both doing well. Never have I felt so far away but Covid is a bitch that isn't going away anytime soon.
As you were, you lovely lot.

 

[crystaleyesd]

Some good news today, hausfraus (which I don't feel like sharing on twitter yet because it is indeed a cesspit of jealousy) - I've been offered a book contract!

Taking inspiration from our BESTSELLING POET, going to think long and hard about how I can exploit the labour of black people and make it all about myself

 

[Andie_H]

I got over ranty last night, definitely an overload of JM and my own stuff. Tearful this morning after a pointless, no-win battle over breakfast carb choices . Really annoyed with myself for disappearing down the vortex of chaos and actually letting it get to me. Triggered by her pics and I'm usually way more level headed with all that is diet/thin culture. Numbers are a definite no go but I'm usually more meh with pics cos i know how they can be manipulated. Whoever said it must be exhausting being Jack is spot on.... I can't even begin to imagine that level of brain activity . My brain is definitely being an arse today. One of those woe-is-me whiny days but I know I can't have a day off cos my nemesis is poised waiting for me to f*ck up and chances of me doing this recovery thing again, I mean even Ladbrokes would struggle to set any odds so gotta quieten the naysayer in my head, pull on my non-grayng-fraying big girl pants, give myself a hug, think encouraging n kindly thoughts, pick myself up and move on. I mean, I may have a lot going on but I have to be thankful I'm not living in the Monroe maelstrom.

There was another sassy response from yesterday so I briefly unblocked JM to see context... oh btw removing her from my twittersphere was such a good move and this tweeter has stuck her head above parapet a few times in response to Jack. She is not a fan! This must be a block earning tweet tho and no one commented which I found surprising. The Jackolites have pounced for far less . Mass deleting followed... that in itself must be so exhausting. Nicola McLean shred, shred, shred on Big Brother is Jack every day on Twitter. Now she knows we have ALL the receipts and because she failed so spectacularly in the four hours we held her hostage here, she's going to be extra insufferable. The dopamine high only lasts for so long and she really seemed to up her need yesterday... I haven't even started on her today . Does she actually have a limit or is there a step that's even too far for her to venture into? But then, maybe something in her brain, post mass deletion, actually believes the nothing to see here, move along narrative. That's a LOT my brain albeit especially irritating today, is an oasis of calm in comparison.

 

[Silver Linings]

Thread suggestion barring whatever member of the royal family she brings up tomorrow -

Jack Monroe #35 This tweet is unavailable.

 

[NP]

Can anyone with any knowledge of her royal connections shed light on her not accidental name dropping?

Sorry but I’m unwilling to have that conversation on a public platform.

 

[Fitnessqueen]

I just used the feminine setting on Faceapp and I’m now leaving my husband and moving in with myself.

 

[Silver Linings]

You said you looked the best you ever had!!! Ffs. You don’t want to talk about it but youbdescribe bones poking out of your jeans. I’m absolutely raging, I know I obv. have hinted that I have issues with this

Spoiler: ED TRIGGER

i didn’t eat yesterday because of her triggering and prob won’t today now thanks to her lovely descriptions

you absolute fucking cowbag. I hate you.

 

[Harrybosch]

This documents her face over the course of 4 weeks. #nofilters

 

[Silver Linings]

well done, red squiggle.

 

[LavaFlake]

I have decided to channel my inner JM and create a Rupi Kaur-style poem. It's very deep and meaningful, as I'm sure you agree:

You were slop
Stirring my feelings
I was egg
Poaching your heart
But an illusion was present
I was actually boiled
Away
Like a vigorous simmer

 

[BeingMyrtle]

#35
Jack is single, Jack is sick:
Jack needs validation from blue ticks

 

[MancBee]

The private prescription she won't talk about is quite triggering for me actually.....There is always some dodgy doctor that doesn't ask too many questions and is willing to over-prescribe. I can say this is true, because I sought out one of those dodgy doctors, when I was still flush with my partner's legacy.

I was getting fucked up on all kinds of illegal drugs, my cocktail of drugs on a weekend (everything, and I mean everything from speed and ecstasy, to crack and heroin) make me quite ashamed now, though looking back it was all tied to my grief. The so called doctor would give me anything I wanted really from sleepers to Prozac, Valium to Viagra (who could get a hard on full up of other drugs?). These doctors, especially ones to those so called "celebrities", are easy to find........... in place like the Groucho for instance. That is how I found mine, through a celebrity acquaintance. This doctor is now struck off, thankfully, but there are many many more.

Not that I am suggesting that JM is getting her medication from a dodgy doctor, just putting my experience out there. Why get a private prescription at great expense when it is medication available on the NHS for those that need it? Very strange state of affairs, especially for someone who is known for saying they have limited funds.


Edited to just add that this period of my life is far behind me and I am doing OK. Though I still get that yearning to go out and get completely trashed and fucked up.....just not got the funds anymore, and now sensible enough not to get into debt.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[TillyMiffin]

So let me get this straight your currently under the metal health crisis team (who by the way are only currently seeing EXTREME cases where suicide is a concern) due to covid 19 resource strain, and your posting non stop on social media and posting selfies etc..

We all pay taxes which I am happy to do and pleased i can support the nhs too but it pisses me off that if she is under the mental health crisis team then she is taking the piss basically out of the treatment prescribed because no way are the MHCT condoning or okay with you constantly on social media if you are basically a suicide risk. It's like me having a gastric band and then the next day going to McDonalds. Doubtful a consultant would support this !!


Also why is she now doing an impression of megan from live island on her profile picture ?!?

I’ve been under the care of the crisis team since Thursday and it’s taken all my energy to watch tv or make myself eat. Coming on here has kept me amused though. I can’t help but think JM needs to reach out to real people (as I have done) rather than be on Twitter ALL the time. I fell for anyone going through a crisis but she needs to help herself.

 

[Passive_Aggressive_Lemon]

I’m so embarrassed to post here after flouncing off on Friday. Admin deleted my post and told me off (I didn’t know it wasn’t allowed. Sorry guys). Admin also said 95% of flouncers come back.

Not me! I said. I won’t be back - I have principles! I even deleted my account temporarily. Then godammit she posts the kitten, the glasto pic, the shouting at people who offer advice that she asked for, the lipstick and now the despicable weight loss shit.

I’m not strong enough. I can’t resist. The urge to discuss it with the housefrau cabal is too much. It’s no fun yelling WTF at her twitter on your own.

Also, I can’t remember who it was but somebody referred to Lipdown Larder and it properly made me snort and I knew I had to do a JM and shuffle back in.

HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A LOVELY DAY

 

[LucyPeach]

 

[Jelly Bean]

Here is my offering as an hômage to The Bard of Southend.

A Grateful Nation Speaks (Title).

From Pontefract to Norwich
They give thanks for chicken porridge.
From Epping to East Sheen
They now love to rinse a bean
And in Tunbridge Wells make no mistake
They all now gorge on mayo cake
And I have heard that in Doncaster
It's all the rage to eat raw pasta
And in the Outer Hebrides
They scoff ovary bursting anchovies

I think it is quite fair to say
That brave Jack M has saved the day
And as a nation it's only fair we
Ask are we grateful? Yes ABSOLUTELY.

 

[Fluffyslippers95]

Fuck me. As someone who actually has experience of genuine adult diagnosed ADHD and knows how the system works this has fucked me off no end. Guys please read below her absolute fantasist shit for some actual facts.

The £135 she is referring to is how much the drugs for ADHD (methylphenidate, same as everyone else gets, not some special fancy drug for the elite like she’s making out) cost if you go PRIVATE rather than through the NHS. That price quoted is for the slow release ones.

So madam possibly went to the NHS got refused, and went private. Either way, the procèss to get diagnosed with ADHD is categorically not as she has described. It’s one visit, one test with a therapist. The process she has described sounds much more like drug shopping to me. You go to one therapist, they turn you down, you go to another, you pay to go private because you know they’ll give you the drugs.

All you need to do is look at one Wikipedia page to see that these drugs act as appetite suppressants.

I genuinely can’t believe her actual pile of lies.

 

[JoyceDivision]

@Switchstreetz has been on an epic journey and should be hailed as a hero. They have been working their way through these threads for ages now.
I looked back at the original Grunka journey and it was threads #14 to #23 for me. I fell off during thread #14 and managed to catch up to real time on #24. @Switchstreetz has gone way past this into the realms of legendary Grunking, I salute their good work.

I’ve just made it to thread 14

I started from thread 1 last Saturday and just lurked for the first four or five threads but couldn’t see the twitter screenshots so had to make an account to be properly nosey

I have two tabs open on my phone now - one for the real-time thread and the other for Grunking!

Fuck knows which coffee number I’m on now and I haven’t even started studying yet

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Nigella is so sweet. I know it's frustrating to see people being taken in by her, but I think she is genuinely concerned about Jack's mental health and is trying to step in a bit. I hope that it's not impacting on Nigella too much.
Jack really baited her traps well this time, using lots of manipulated photos, triggering language and photos of hundreds of pills. It's really sick when you think about it.
We've been wondering why on earth her friends don't step in, but maybe they all see through her too. Maybe they recognise this as attention seeking rather than mental health led.