Jack Monroe #34 Medicine won't lift her gloom. Lady doc says Facetune!

[antisocialmedia]

How would you eat this? And peas under a hot tap! Has JM done that yet?

Ew.

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

Sorry, yes, this is an allusion to something Jack tweeted when wearing her Westwood dress - something along the lines of "it's what she (Vivienne) would have wanted", as though Viv was dead. Loads of her followers were like 'uh Jack, I don't think she's dead' and Jack, of course, was like 'I KNOW SHE'S NOT DEAD!! I MEANT SOMETHING ELSE, YOU GUYS JUST DON'T ~GET IT~!!'

Ah, thank you. I should have known, I mean, I did, obvs. Er.....

 

[Peeky_Mink]

This was my situation too, except I haven't managed to read back yet. Started with Joe Wicks, saw a JM thread and the rest was history.

For those about to Grunk, we salute you!

This would make a great thread title!

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Ah, thank you. I should have known, I mean, I did, obvs. Er.....

Did you miss the dress?

 

[HarderFaster]

How would you eat this? And peas under a hot tap! Has JM done that yet?

This has stressed me out beyond reason

 

[JoyceDivision]

.

Sweet Joyce, keep reading. There's still so much for you to learn in threads 16-34. Godspeed, dear heart.

Ok, confession time

Just the TL;DR version - I heard of her way back in 2013, thought she was ace (I’m a single parent myself), then started spotting discrepancies and since then I just hate read about her So I know a fair bit already! I remember reading her recipes in the Guardian and it was always ‘My friend gifted me a kilo of star anise’, ‘My German friend bequeathed me twelve bags of bratwurst’ etc etc all written in her wanky pseudo-Nigella vernacular.

I’m just incredibly happy to have found you lot who think she’s as big a dick as I do! One of my mates has only just gotten into her and won’t let me say a bad word about St Jack

edited because I’m a stickler for SPAG

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

How would you eat this? And peas under a hot tap! Has JM done that yet?

This'd fall to pieces instantly and go bleeping everywhere, I can hear the vacuum starting already...

 

[LavaFlake]

This'd fall to pieces instantly and go bleeping everywhere, I can hear the vacuum starting already...

Excuse me hun I was actually gifted a top of the range Dyson in an exclusive pink colour x

 

[Pocahontas]

How would you eat this? And peas under a hot tap! Has JM done that yet?

As an avid hater of peas and messy food that looks both foul and impractical

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

Did you miss the dress?

View attachment 166922

duck.

That is DREADFUL. Plus, I know it's 2020 and it shouldn't matter, but couldn't she have shaved her legs?

 

[Marj24]

How would you eat this? And peas under a hot tap! Has JM done that yet?

Cheezy Peaz!!

 

[crystaleyesd]

Some good news today, hausfraus (which I don't feel like sharing on twitter yet because it is indeed a cesspit of jealousy) - I've been offered a book contract!

Taking inspiration from our BESTSELLING POET, going to think long and hard about how I can exploit the labour of black people and make it all about myself

 

[Flumps]

This would make a great thread title!

CAREFUL NOW! Strange things happen when we use Grunka's name lightly in thread titles........

 

[Pocahontas]

duck.

That is DREADFUL. Plus, I know it's 2020 and it shouldn't matter, but couldn't she have shaved her legs?

Perhaps the whole hairy mary vibe and legs akimbo was her clumsy way of saying:
‘Me? In a Viv Westwood dress? Who’da thunk it??’ <scratches rats tail endearingly>
‘But, hey. I look GREAT anyways. Right???’

 

[Flumps]

Perhaps the whole hairy mary vibe and legs akimbo was her clumsy way of saying:
‘Me? In a Viv Westwood dress? Who’d thunk it??’ <scratches rats tail endearingly>
‘But, hey. I look GREAT anyways. Right???’

BTW, I found it very confusing that you have an avatar now. Sure, you picked one that makes it abundantly clear it's you, but I am not good at change. You will forever be a big green P in my head.

 

[LavaFlake]

Perhaps the whole hairy mary vibe and legs akimbo was her clumsy way of saying:
‘Me? In a Viv Westwood dress? Who’da thunk it??’ <scratches rats tail endearingly>
‘But, hey. I look GREAT anyways. Right???’

It's like, "look at me in my [feminine] dress with my hairy [masculine] legs. I am truly split along the genderline"... as if it's a dichotomy. A bit like her Guardian article photoshoot.

 

[Harrybosch]

duck.

That is DREADFUL. Plus, I know it's 2020 and it shouldn't matter, but couldn't she have shaved her legs?

No, because she had the heart of a lady but the legs of a soufend builder - and she's all more special for it.

 

[JoyceDivision]

It's like, "look at me in my [feminine] dress with my hairy [masculine] legs. I am truly split along the genderline"... as if it's a dichotomy. A bit like her Guardian article photoshoot.

It just sounds like she is a dick, to me.

I’ll see myself out.

 

[Instagram Sham]

duck.

That is DREADFUL. Plus, I know it's 2020 and it shouldn't matter, but couldn't she have shaved her legs?

Yes, absolutely x

 

[Pocahontas]

BTW, I found it very confusing that you have an avatar now. Sure, you picked one that makes it abundantly clear it's you, but I am not good at change. You will forever be a big green P in my head.

Oh, yes. I apologise for the change, I just thought it was time I revealed my true face. Carry on thinking of me as a big green ‘P’, dear heart

It's like, "look at me in my [feminine] dress with my hairy [masculine] legs. I am truly split along the genderline"... as if it's a dichotomy. A bit like her Guardian article photoshoot.

She could get married to herself. Every narcissist’s dream