Jack Monroe #170 Outrageous grifting dirtbag

[colouredlines]

She doesn't even seem very tomboy-ish either to me. It's like she's ashamed to admit she enjoys 'girly' things like make up and clothes etc. That's the whole point of the gender revolution, you embrace yourself!!! Nothing wrong with doing your face up, wearing sexy clothes and pouting about insta. We have evidence that she use to be quite happy doing this until she became a 'trans-activist' and at one point was transitioning (I'm not sure I 100% believe her authenticity on that).

She dives headfirst into the trending SJW movements, and now she's stuck, she can't show her old side off anymore as it's too much of a contradiction on the nonsense she spouts today.

(The Guardian article where she's dressed as a woman and a man is strange, she looks uncomfortable and aggressive in both guises)

The timeline actually makes it all a bit stranger: her Mrs Gloss posts, and her makeup hoarding, came after that Guardian article, her very brief time on testosterone, etc. The HuffPo piece where she claimed to be growing facial hair is right around the time the Mrs Gloss posts started.

I don't pretend to be an expert in this field, and there are certainly frauen and herren here who know far more, but even from my outside POV, it seems pretty fucked-up. She amps up the gender stuff when she thinks there's money and/or publicity available, and that's it.

I also laugh a bit at the fact that every time she posts a pic of herself in a dress/skirt/heels she says something like, "Here's a rare sight!" Is it really? Her Facetune adventures always have very conventionally feminine results, too: bigger eyes, longer lashes, fuller lips, a narrower jawline etc.

The real problem comes when people see her as a representative, or - as happened in January - hire her to speak as an expert on gender issues. As with cooking, poverty, autism, and so many other things, she knows nothing, and she's spreading that nothing around and people take it as gospel.

 

[bladiesla]

It could also just be licorice laces. Fancy!

 

[colouredlines]

Congratulations to @Hollaaa for the thread title! Your prize: a sticky ribs Pot Noodle (it’s not obviously non-vegan). Enjoy.

Recap of last thread

1. If you missed the BBC Big Book Weekend live and fancy 45 minutes of waffling tedium, here it is.
2. Jack is collaborating with the Bright Blue think tank.
3. Nature Jack a-cometh. Hot take.
4. In honour of Jolly green Jack.
5. We have some books sold figures.
6. Plus some google search data.
7. Her TedX talk for the NHS happened. @Veronicaa ‘s hot takes start here.
8. The conversation isn’t over. 🤍
9. ‘People have nooooo idea how hard you have to work to pull this off.’ (deleted)
10. Spoiler: Housekeeping

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Top recap, ur not a after all, ur a BOSSBABE x

 

[discokebab]

I'm finally on the current thread!
My progress has been hampered by my smol chaos yesterday. Was cycling along heading to a work visit, tanked it off my bike. My knee, thumb and face is all scraped etc but most importantly my whole right side is sore and that is my Tattle reaction/scroll side but my brain is still inside at least.
Thankfully the PPE I had to wear covered up the majority of my fucked up body parts - the staff at this place were a little strange so I didn't feel like I could be all 'fell off my bike LOL can I have a plaster' whilst blood congeals everywhere.

On topic(ish) I am so excited for seeing the new members going through the threads, they haven't reached my advent of coming out the bushes (reverse Homer gif) but I'm going to be very proud when they arrive at no.100. I admire their stamina because catching up on 2-3 feels like a big deal, I just wanna be in the present avec Frau und Herr.

 

[colouredlines]

I know it's all gone quiet on the legal front...but I'll be buying my court outfit just in case.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Let's be the change (or just give me yours)

 

[Peachy9]

I see 'not jack' has got out their Sophie conran Portmeirion dipping bowl to go with their Linda M dinner

 

[Orphan_Black]

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I went on a google and found this article about the DW/JM hoohah, look at this write up of her;

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

This to me is the most fascinating thing about Jack. She's not just an average cook, she's actively terrible. Every single recipe has something wrong with it. Often it's the absolute basics: onions sitting around in cold oil, simmering pasta, never browning meat, not adding salt to bread...and of course the béchamel.

I reckon most adults can rustle up something edible. Jack can't. Her cooking skills aren't even average, they're wildly subpar - but this is how she makes a living?

It's particularly mad because cooking is a very basic skill. Sometimes I see sewing influencers who are a bit crap, but the vast majority of people don't sew and wouldn't notice the problems. But we all cook! We all eat! We all know what nice food looks like...and as Jack said to Marcus in her Down With The Kids phase, "That ain't it."

Re: how she makes her living, for now Her publishers have very likely not even recouped her advance & project costs for GFFBD, and the next nightmare that will have cost them even more. For all the puff pieces she does about herself in the Guardian how she was drunk and wailing and chucking shit at people earning significantly less than her, she forgets that these people are billing their hours to her project so ultimately it’s just her that’ll suffer for it. So every time some one has to tweet her to pick up the phone, or have yet another zoom to sit through her excuses, that’s another £90-500 (depending on seniority of staff member) put against the project. She’ll fulfil the remainder of her contract and won’t get renewed, small industry so no one else will be interested in the grief for 3k units at an avg price of £6, there’s a whole new generation of Instagrammers making aesthetic books that sell very well at a £16.99 price point to be moving on with. She doesn’t even bother tweeting about the slop anymore. She’s just a Tory media mouthpiece now

 

[colouredlines]

Loud exhale from me, don’t know if I should even write this but Jack’s cosplay of addiction is what keeps a lot of young people, particularly young women, out of recovery programs and I hate her for it.

Spoiler: Trigger warning - themes of addiction, MH, s word, self indulgence lol

You’re told to listen to the similarities not the differences from day dot. Everyone’s situation looks different, eg someone at 20 likely hasn’t lost a wife house and kids cos... they’re fucking 20 years old who has that at that point?! A woman won’t drink as much as a man cos we’ve literally got smaller bodies we can’t hold it in our tummies, there are people that drank shit tons of posh red wines and people that sniffed research chemicals they bought on the dark web, there’s really a vast breadth of experience out there but it all boils down the same mental health conditions & adverse responses that person chose to cope with them?

Jack’s recount of her tale just doesn’t make sense and is damaging (story of a lifetime ey!). You don’t need to drink 200 units a week, have lost it all, be hurting other people, etc etc to benefit from a recovery program. There’s so much more nuance to it all. Also labelling addicts as liabilities who hurt others is incredibly stigmatising.

Personally for me, I did very few of those things and I had very few amends to make. Yes I was a nightmare mate and a bit of a bitch but I was in my early 20s, most people are Nothing would have stuck out marking me out to be a mentalist, if anything quite the opposite I had a gr8 life in terms of achievements (felt like shit inside tho) - I wasn’t like that bloke from jackass chewing pills and drinking home brew and stapling my ballbag to my forehead (a top 3 descriptor for me would probably be neek and it’s always been that way). I don’t think I ever drank more than 2 bottles of white wine in any one sesh, no idea what constitutes a unit either. I was just a really mentally unwell, very sad young woman with a ton of unprocessed trauma from childhood who was progressively getting worse, constantly blacking out, spending time with ppl I ultimately hated and didn’t care about me, and acquiring a penchant for drugs to boot. Again, not that unusual for a young 20 something living with other young people working in the industry I did but none of them would wake up feeling suicidal, paranoid, and constantly anxious - and they could all pass on a bender and I couldn’t. If I wanted the life I now have, it involved a lot of therapy & abstinence so down that road I went! It doesn’t need to be a big old am dram, I’m not “out” to all my friends but the best ones know and I have outed myself to 2 people I’ve worked with who’ve needed similar interventions. Shockingly it’s not in the Twitter bio!

It’s damaging for Jack to put this type of content out in the media (and arguably why two of the traditions focus on 1. Anonymity of self 2. Anonymity in press) because it provides a shield of denial to young women who may be wondering about their own drinking. The focus needs to be on how does drinking & drugging make you feel, how is it influencing your life and your ability to progress, play this forward 5/10 years and what do you think about that, not how much can you down and are you doing shots through the eyeball. Believe it or not there are perfectly healthy people doing the latter, just for fun!

Although I continue to be amazed despite those volumes she required no physical medical detox and has no lasting conditions cos some of the shit I’ve heard has given me panic attacks it’s so horrifically gory.

This is so well-written. Well done for working through it (I hope that doesn't sound patronising, I really don't mean it to - I've seen the effects of long-term alcoholism, and the more people who seek help early, the better).

 

[MaineCoonMama]

ETA It tastes like drowning.

 

[colouredlines]

Thanks @EllaEm87 for your reply in the last thread. It sounds more like panic to me too (Also not diagnosing) especially with the timing right after a breakup. I’ve had anxiety palpitations and they’re awful so I can see why they’d scare her (though I’ve managed to avoid calling an ambulance for them)

I find anxiety attacks often cause trouble breathing, gasping for breath, and feeling that I can't fill my lungs unless I lean my torso forward. Palpitations and dizziness too, but not always.

But...the thing is, I know objectively what it is. In the moment I am panicking of course, but I've never thought "oh could this be a heart attack?" In fact when I first started getting attacks I thought it was asthma.

In general, I find it odd that a woman in her 20s - as she was at the time - would assume she was having a heart attack...ESPECIALLY if she had a history of anxiety, which Jack claims to have.

My armchair diagnosis? Attention seeking. (not a lady doctor, Your Honour)

 

[colouredlines]

More archive fun. This tweet sums up Jack's utterly batshit approach to social media (all 3 accounts are hers).

 

[MancBee]

I made two awful spelling mistakes in my "Goodness Gracious Me" post (fixed now) but it has been quoted so many times I can't hide my shame. Blankets instead of blandest for goodness sake. I will do a Jack and I will find someone (or thing) to blame, because it can't be my fault.

 

[Harrybosch]

I understood myself: the discomfort, the guilt, the addiction, the naughty thrill of a packet of bacon in the fridge, the promises to myself that it would be the last time. I behaved like an addict, with no thought for those I might have been hurting, just seeking my next high, my next slow-roasted pork belly, chicken skin caesar salad, slow bone broth. I hung out with friends who would indulge me, encourage me. And I needed to stop.

Meat Addict Jack makes me doubt Alcoholic Jack even more. Anyone who has lived with an alcoholic -or anyone who IS an alcoholic, I'm sure - would see this as an outrageously crass comparison.

I remember reading this at the time and thinking it didn't ring true to me at all. Like most vegans, I used to eat meat. I never, ever felt it was an addiction or a secret thrill. The reality is that eating meat is the norm. Why would it feel illicit? I suspect most vegans would say that they used to eat meat without thinking about it. It's what most people do, it's what's socially accepted (and often expected). It's the exact opposite of what she describes.

 

[Emmapism]

I just do not understand how you can go from having no job and having a bunch of money problems, to having a media 'career' (that I know pays well because I have one too) and still having a bunch of money problems. This time with the addition of a Patreon and having lived comfortably for a while with a literal millionaire.

The ONLY thing that makes sense is that she is a compulsive spender/money mismanager. Again, going by a lot of the things that she has that I do not, I would suggest that is true.

 

[MancBee]

Did she ever follow up the missing royalties? With 100% success rate in legal challenges, I would have though she would have no problem taking her former agent to court.

Her lack of any further comment on the subject is rather odd. It is almost as if she was mistaken with her assumption that she was owed in the region of 50K.

I am damned sure that if anyone owed me 50K I couldn't afford to just forget about it.

 

[Pocahontas]

If she could just get consumed whole by a triffid that would be fantastic. I want to see a Jack-shaped lump comically slide down its gullet (do triffids have gullets?) like when a python inhales a deer.

@SweetTransvestite omg this must be how all the mancs felt when they realised they'd been going to the same entertainment venues. I was going to go to Pizza Express that day but I went home and ate pizza-flavoured tofu instead because it was going out of date imminently. Everyone else has such interesting anecdotes about their life and my anecdote is 'I nearly ate a pizza once'.

Spoiler: Off topic about Triffids

Triffids don’t consume whole, they sting and then wait for the body to decompose. The probably have a gut full of acid of some sort, like a pitcher plant. So sorry but this is one of my favourite books and I have to geek at you. (I know they’re not real but the thought of Jack being chased by one is amusing)

 

[BananaSmith]

Spotted a poor deceased blue bird in the car park.

Fly high with the angels little bird.

 

[kachoochoo]

oh, great, here comes interacting with sentient brands on twitter jack

coming soon - "anyone else noticed that the blue innocent smoothie is green! "