Jack Monroe #170 Outrageous grifting dirtbag

[Dustye]

Morning Frauen and herren. Enjoying my morning grunk with a coffee while watching my boy leap headfirst into his ball pit, then throw all of the balls out. Reminded me of JM somehow

Been thinking about her abysmal brand collabs. Without , it's a field I work in (though I'm not a literal expert like @heretoreaditall2019 ) albeit in a very different sector.

It goes without saying that the content she's produced for Hellman's, Del Monte etc is pure garbage. The performance metrics will be awful and I can't imagine she's driving many (if any) sales, which is what she'll be paid for. I'm sure her agent will claim to the marketing managers that JM is 'enhancing brand awareness' (that old chestnut) but these days it's all about UTM links, driving traffic and sales, it's obvious from the fact she's never worked with the same brand twice that they're getting no ROI.

Wish I had access to tools like Tagger to look up her average campaign performance, now that would be a fascinating read.

ETA: When I did have to approach her in a professional capacity, she completely ignored me (even though my Twitter bio and email makes it obvious I was from a PR agency) and it took weeks for her not particularly brilliant agent to come back to me.

Spoiler: Alcohol

I wanted to say thank you to everyone for sharing your stories around this. I stopped drinking just before I turned 30 because I realised how negatively it was affecting my MH, relationships and I was generally acting like a rear. One of the reasons I love these threads so much is because I recognise a lot of myself in JM and the discussions here have helped me address them directly, without blaming someone or something else for my chaoses, like I used to. I actually had half a glass of wine for my birthday yesterday as a bit of a 'test' and immediately felt crap. Reading through this thread helped me feel like leaving the rest of the glass was the right thing for me to do.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

She should be fucking ashamed of herself. She’s demonstrably done absolutely fuck all but line her own pockets for this entire year.

My boyfriend has a stressful and often horrible job, yet every day over Christmas that he had off he came to a charity I volunteer with and did kitchen grunt work to make Christmas dinners to send out.

If Jack had done anything - anything - that didn’t raise her profile or an invoice, it’d be plastered all over her socials like those #gifted tins she offloaded to a foodbank with her name all over them.

The reification of pointless wankers like Jack is the entire reason we’re in such a mess. All the people who’re actually living it are too busy surviving to make money talking about it.

 

[KebabGirl]

Marcus all up in her niche writing a book.
Oh wait, this is a useful book that will reach the target audience, by someone they will respect.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I was just reflecting on Jack's final This Morning appearance before she lost her slot because of slightly uncooked pasta

 

[MancBee]

All this talk about alcohol, I had jaundice as a 20 something and the doctor suggested I gave up drink for a few months. I didn't drink a lot anyway so it was no problem. I just never started again, was always the designated driver, it never bothered me.

Then in my 40's I got into heavy drugs, for reasons I have mentioned before (grief and medical diagnosis) I have never had a joint in my life, I just went straight to the class A's. Lost my job, my beautiful flat, everything, all in the space of a couple of years. I stopped when my money run out, without help, so who knows if I was addicted or not.

I now on very rare occasions have a glass of wine, but to be honest, I don't really think it tastes nice. That is why I steer clear of fruity cocktails though because they really do taste lovely and you have no idea how potent they are.

 

[colouredlines]

It's a decade old now, but I will never forget this article from the Guardian:

Student cooking: the recipes

Cheap and delicious recipes for student gourmets from some of the country's top chefs, including Gordon Ramsay, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and Jamie Oliver

www.theguardian.com

Student cooking, including a curry that costs 22£ and involves making your own curry paste. I was a student at the time, and poor. Part-time jobs were thin on the ground in 2010. No one ate like this. No one (except maybe people called Fliss).

You look at that and realise the editors were so out of touch with reality that when a photogenic young mother popped up claiming to be so poor she'd had to sell her lightbulbs...of course no one raised an eyebrow.

 

[sentientpuddle]

In the spirit of Jack I will add my hot take on alcohol/addiction now that everyone else has moved on...

Spoiler: Alcohol/drugs chat

Spoiler: Alcohol/drugs chat

It’s been so interesting and really affirming to read everyone’s well thought out and balanced views and so many different experiences. I realised last year I had a problem with alcohol as although I was going out and getting rat arsed as often as my friends and colleagues, the aftermath would send me into a pit of despair and anxiety that made everyday life pretty unbearable. I started to use Class A drugs as well when I was very drunk (on top of prescribed medication for MH issues) and pretty much went into self destruct mode. I’d spend the weekend doing things I’m not proud of and the following week beating myself up and being unable to function. It didn’t look like an addiction - I didn’t ‘need a glass of wine at 9am to get through the day’ but I was using drink and drugs to escape from myself and actually spiralling into a much bigger issue. I gave up booze almost a year ago - I don’t intend to never drink again but I feel as though I’ve completely reset my relationship with alcohol. I’ve never felt healthier or mentally stronger, I could shout from the rooftops about the benefits. But I faced a lot of, for want of a better word, shit, from friends and acquaintances. One close friend told me she wasn’t sure we’d still be friends in a year’s time because I’d be ‘boring’. I’m so ashamed that I would have been one of those people a year ago, forcing people to have ‘one more drink’ or berating them for being dull. In reality I was trying to make my own bad behaviour seem more acceptable and replacing my personality with substances as someone up thread so eloquently put it. Anyway, I’ve proved to my friends that my actual personality is much more fun than someone spiralling into a serious mental health crisis, even if that person did enjoy dancing on tables at 3am and being the ‘wild friend’. I’ve started a new job, bought a flat and met someone new who is lovely and very supportive. I totally agree that in the UK our drinking culture is bizarre and unhealthy, I’d never judge anyone for having a good time but that is certainly not what I was doing. This has been a fantastic reminder of how far I’ve come and I’m so pleased others on this thread have had similar positive experiences.

 

[kachoochoo]

she's not gonna shag you pal

 

[colouredlines]

A piss and a sandwich (first draft).

 

[colouredlines]

...and one more.

2014. 2014. Has anyone in human history ever developed so little over so many years?!

 

[Pocahontas]

Re the ‘not Jack’ ... I mean, I’m open to them being Jack or her housemate - it would add up, and there’s plenty of circumstantial evidence.

Buuuuut equally, I’m also open to it not being Jack and just someone who reads here, knows what to post (bowls of granola, etc.) and likes the attention - likes messing with the thread. The Internet houses a lot of, how shall we say it, strange folk.

We shall see, hey.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Imagine if David Walliams had called unhappy, vulnerable and bewildered foster children 'feral'
And those were real identifiable people. Not fiction.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

I have just read an article in the Guardian about not having to dress smartly when working from home. A few snippets from the article

Dressing down in a comfortable Dries van Noten tracksuit.
Wearing my Jimmy Choo flats to the doctors.
Don't know when I'll get back in my Monolos.
I wore my suits and silk blouses to impress and intimidate.
He misses his white linen suit the most.

These are in an article in a newspaper purporting to be left wing, a paper with it's roots in Manchester. This is a paper that Jack writes for.

No wonder she thinks she is poor, if her contemporaries in the media think having 5 or 6 pairs of gorgeous shoes in the cupboard for work purposes is normal. And I bet they are not from TK Max either!

By the way, what does a "humanitarian development consultant" actually do?

I’m increasingly convinced the editor of the Guardian is Edina Monsoon.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Spotted a poor deceased blue bird in the car park.

Fly high with the angels little bird.View attachment 497380

Devastating. Respectfully, you have spelt angle wrong. I know it’s due to the grief but it looks like you don’t use Pythagoras daily, unlike someone we know

 

[PoorPatrol]

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“Suffering” “Wraparound support and holding”
What. The. Fuck. You were talking on a panel, not at war. The dramatics are getting hella worse, yo.

 

[sentientpuddle]

So sad when they are lost in their prime, look at that resplendent plumage.

 

[OhhBacon]

Really interested in the alcohol discussions, I would classify myself as the typical British binge drinker. If there is wine in the bottle or beers in the fridge I will finish them!
A couple of years ago I decided to reduce my intake...well was hoping to give up but that’s a tough ask in the Uk for reasons that others have mentioned; it is such a cultural norm.

Anyway I read a book, listened to an Audio book, followed folks on twitter. Basically tried to immerse myself in the culture of not drinking...I failed miserably and felt like such a disaster, I began to wonder if I was an addict because I just couldn’t seem to control it.

When Jack wrote her article about giving up alcohol, think it was in The Times, I read it and felt worse. I couldn’t understand how she could just stop when I couldn’t and from reading her article I had nowhere near as big a problem as she claimed to have. *This was one of my reasons for beginning to doubt all her tales about her life because I don’t think it is that easy to just stop. I am furious about the damage that article did.

In the first lockdown I did drink more, but everyone seemed to be doing the same. The sun was shining, life was dull so a bottle of wine a night was fine. When lockdown lifted I decided to stop, I actually managed that for a few months and now am more in control. I can have a glass of wine without finishing the bottle but don’t have that glass too often as I love the feeling of a good nights sleep without booze in me. I have realised I’m not an addict, I like a drink but can finally give or take it. Am not fussed.

I kind of dread the pubs opening and normality being back to social drinking. I finally feel in control and like it.

 

[bladiesla]

View attachment 497486
Imagine if someone served you this at a dinner party? I would simply have to get my partner to ring me with a fake emergency.

Dry looking squid ink pasta/noodles, chewy lemon, tinned sardines and tomato puree? Nah x

That looks a bit like my drawer with charging cables...

Also: what dumbass food writer would admit they don't use their coolinairy muscles often. Make it make sense!!!

 

[MancBee]

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"I want to remove it from our library"

What without reading the context that the word is used? You want to censor children's literature without first ensuring that it is inappropriate just on the use of one word? A word that may well have been used to highlight how wrong it is to use that word.

It is more frightening that someone wants to remove a book on the say so of a person who, by her own admission, failed at education.

 

[colouredlines]

Jack is currently desperately calling her agent, trying to secure a cover quote...

"Marcus and I work together all the time and he's almost as great as me." - Jack Monroe, writer, activist, cook, campaigner, doctur², washing machine operator, author