Jack Monroe #169 Please don’t argue about turnips

[replace32titles]

Good job @Veronicaaa! I'm not surprised - her first book sold very well, but it's been downhill since there...

With the gardening thing...it's mad because I think most normal people ease into a new interest, right? When I started yoga, I didn't run out and buy a premium mat and loads of new clothes and Namaste wall hangings. Same with my other hobbies - I never want to spend much until I can see if I'll actually enjoy them. She goes from hearing someone use the word plant in passing to turning the crappy Bungalow into a jungle in 10 seconds flat.

I took up gardening last year by growing a few vegetables from seed in pots (M&S were giving away seedling kits) and this year, with what I learnt, I'm going a little bit bigger. What I haven't done, either year, is spend a month's salary on pre-existing plants that will almost certainly be dead within a month.

(If anyone wants to try growing a few veggies in pots, I'm really enjoying Leyla Kazim, a food presenter who's using her social media to do weekly how-to videos and the reason I have twelve miniature pepper plants that surely must produce actual peppers before November this year.)

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Incapability Monroe

 

[Orphan_Black]

I took up gardening last year by growing a few vegetables from seed in pots (M&S were giving away seedling kits) and this year, with what I learnt, I'm going a little bit bigger. What I haven't done, either year, is spend a month's salary on pre-existing plants that will almost certainly be dead within a month.

(If anyone wants to try growing a few veggies in pots, I'm really enjoying Leyla Kazim, a food presenter who's using her social media to do weekly how-to videos and the reason I have twelve miniature pepper plants that surely must produce actual peppers before November this year.)

I got a seed kit for xmas, chilli, tomato and onions, I have three chilli sproutlings and a whole bunch of tomato plants. I'm really excited. All on my kitchen windowsill too!

Jack couldn't even tell if she had wild garlic in her 'paradise' yesterday. How do her followers not see the quick turn from dunce to professor on any given subject? Is Jack even aware herself that she is doing it?!

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Who was it yesterday who was asking about her book sales? I have a very trustworthy source in the publishing world who sent me this overnight:

View attachment 495184

It took me a while to see the writing on this. I could only see the creepy gif and thought you were all seeing it subliminally.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

The thing is, the timing of the book's release was really lucky in that Jack should have been able to cash in on the pandemic - which obviously she'd have no qualms about, it's literally her MO to cash in on the misfortunes of others. And it *still* did terribly.

So true. This may also explain the seeming apathy towards her missing deadlines for the next one from her publishers/agent - it’s not really worth their time to chase it up if they expect a similar volume sold, is it?

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

Anyone taking one for the team tonight?

View attachment 495345

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Just been chatting to this fella in the back garden. Apparently he's had to flee his native Southend due to being harassed and stalked by a strange woman who spent an uncomfortable amount of time watching him yesterday.
Obviously, I've squiggled to protect his identity but he's now safe under the witness protection program.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

Just been chatting to this fella in the back garden. Apparently he's had to flee his native Southend due to being harassed and stalked by a strange woman who spent an uncomfortable amount of time watching him yesterday.
Obviously, I've squiggled to protect his identity but he's now safe under the witness protection program.
View attachment 495398

what an anonymous glove, I love him

 

[Readingismyhobby]

Can we play a game of Never Have I Ever..? I've never wanted to know anyone's star signs. Go!

I have never eaten a pot noodle.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Well, I've ordered a ticket for the Ted thing tonight. Whether I'm feeling sufficiently masochistic come 7pm remains to be seen.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Well, I've ordered a ticket for the Ted thing tonight. Whether I'm feeling sufficiently masochistic come 7pm remains to be seen.

 

[Pocahontas]

Well, I've ordered a ticket for the Ted thing tonight. Whether I'm feeling sufficiently masochistic come 7pm remains to be seen.

We will remember you, good comrade.

 

[EllaEm87]

Not sure if this was posted today but I love this from a frau-favourite trifle defender View attachment 495113

I like to think she’s here among us... perhaps she’s @poca?

 

[Veronicaaa]

Hey, I'm not saying I'll definitely watch it, please don't get your hopes up!

 

[Captainmouse]

I have never eaten a pot noodle.

How long have they existed? I don’t remember ever eating one, but I am old

 

[Aardvark]

Gardener Jack reminds me of her interactions with Adam Frost on DKL where she kept asking stupid questions like ‘have you ever grown beans’ and then told him he was ‘really getting the hang of this presenting lark’. Would tell her not to quit the day job but she doesn’t really have a day job.

Read "have you every grown beans" while sat in a verrry slow Teams call and snorted with laughter, oops

 

[Lanie]

W

Given those abysmal book sales, the lack of any viewers on her lives (that aren't Tattle members), not being asked to return to any TV projects she's briefly involved in.....

Media is not your niche hun. Unfortunately for you the only way you can monetise your Twitter following is by jumping on every bandwagon opportunity sent your way before bleeping it up. This isn't sustainable.

So all of the people telling you to get a 'real job' are likely telling you that because you can't make the kinda money you want to pumping out poorly written and researched books and bleeping up TV appearances. If you were good at your job, you could, but you aren't.

Selling yourself off of the back of Twitter clout isn't a sustainable career.

Whats happening with her new book? The last I saw on here there was a 13 year old class project Styled leaflet *spoiler* any more on that? Whens it being released ??

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Inspired by @lilamay and @Veronicaaa, comparing Jack’s google search activity with comparable cooks/authors. Sorry this is gonna be long and not everyone’s cup of tea (dull lol) so under a spoiler it goes

Spoiler: Spoiler

Data notes: this for UK, 12 months, used search term rather than the google allocated groupings as I suspect it disadvantages smaller names. All of this is subject to interpretation and by no means gospel, and encourage ppl with opinions to disagree with my very biased anti Jack stance

Anyway first up is Jack’s related searches, these are indexes not absolute search volume so Twitter is her most searched for term. Recipes is close to half as frequently searched, as is tattle. Tattle and recipes are very close to being equally searched for. I’d guess these search volumes are hundreds to low thousands which is abysmal for a full time job tbh.

Trends also shows search volume over time, Jack’s only peaks are around DKL or big Twitter beefs like Waliams. Not around book release which is... not diagnosed gifted and talented. In examples I’ve worked on / friends you’d expect to see spikes driven by any media appearance - news, tv, radio, podcasts, YouTube, she’s done all of those and nothing really drives interest like her Twitter beefs. Her follower count corroborates this, never goes up unless she’s sharing triggering tit or whipping up outrage.

Now onto her peers. You’ve got book or Guardian in their top (interesting no one seeks out Jack’s press work too? Lol). Gizzi and Ruby Tandoh had too low search volumes so google don’t release their related searches sadly. But you can go play around with this and take a look, Jack’s looks tit next to everyone’s lol.

In summary WHYYY is she still getting booked for writing gigs?? She’s not driving anyone to publications, she’s certainly not bleeping selling hers, token media pov play.

This was like a reverse pitch deck for her, she’ll be on the John Lewis app getting her sweet frumpy high now

 

[colouredlines]

Inspired by @lilamay and @Veronicaaa, comparing Jack’s google search activity with comparable cooks/authors. Sorry this is gonna be long and not everyone’s cup of tea (dull lol) so under a spoiler it goes

Spoiler: Spoiler

Data notes: this for UK, 12 months, used search term rather than the google allocated groupings as I suspect it disadvantages smaller names. All of this is subject to interpretation and by no means gospel, and encourage ppl with opinions to disagree with my very biased anti Jack stance

Anyway first up is Jack’s related searches, these are indexes not absolute search volume so Twitter is her most searched for term. Recipes is close to half as frequently searched, as is tattle. Tattle and recipes are very close to being equally searched for. I’d guess these search volumes are hundreds to low thousands which is abysmal for a full time job tbh.

View attachment 495399

Trends also shows search volume over time, Jack’s only peaks are around DKL or big Twitter beefs like Waliams. Not around book release which is... not diagnosed gifted and talented. In examples I’ve worked on / friends you’d expect to see spikes driven by any media appearance - news, tv, radio, podcasts, YouTube, she’s done all of those and nothing really drives interest like her Twitter beefs. Her follower count corroborates this, never goes up unless she’s sharing triggering tit or whipping up outrage.

Now onto her peers. You’ve got book or Guardian in their top (interesting no one seeks out Jack’s press work too? Lol). Gizzi and Ruby Tandoh had too low search volumes so google don’t release their related searches sadly. But you can go play around with this and take a look, Jack’s looks tit next to everyone’s lol.

View attachment 495418
View attachment 495422

In summary WHYYY is she still getting booked for writing gigs?? She’s not driving anyone to publications, she’s certainly not bleeping selling hers, token media pov play.

This was like a reverse pitch deck for her, she’ll be on the John Lewis app getting her sweet frumpy high now

May Vlad bless you with plentiful Bitcoin!

 

[StringyMango]

When I first joined up here I had a feeling she'd pick up on plants/gardening. (It's how my partner makes a living). As you lads have said it probably won't last long. Plants do need care and attention on a long term basis after all.
My prediction for early Autumn/ end of summer. Environmental Jack. You read it here first!