Eoghan McDermott - Irish radio stars face social media allegations.

[Sandyclaws]

Just going back to the story posted on Reddit by alleged victim. Firstly what direction did she think the friendship was going? Meeting in bars and going for food and drinks? People have a few drinks they get giddy and stupid and loose inhibitions. That's the norm. How many of us have had fumbles and gropes and it's all part of the bumpy ride. To publicly put that stuff out there is hugely damaging. Why did she hook up again with him after the incident in Spin headquarters. No matter what she has destroyed him. Not saying he's without blame but she has to now shoulder the responsibility of what's shes done. I personally couldn't live with it.

Let me tell you what I have to live with.
I was 14 when a man in his mid 40's groomed me. I'd have considered myself very intelligent.
I was bullied at the time, so had no friends, no one to confide in. I was played like a violin to believe that someone genuinely cared for me.

I didn't want to do any of the sex stuff, which I know know was abuse, but I did it because I was so afraid of what would happen if I didn't.
He never threatened me, he didn't have to. I knew enough to be afraid.
It did come out what was happening, he was jailed, but once it came out I put it in a box in my head.
The box was always there.
With every dysfunctional relationship that followed, the box was there.

I finally, 10 years later, got counselling.
No one had told me I was abused, until then.
All I could think was it was my own fault.
Because I kept returning, so I must have liked it.
I didn't, but sure, as you have clearly said in your post, why go back after the first time???


Within the last 20 years I've made several attempts on my life.
I bear physical scars from where I've harmed myself, because I needed to see actual physical damage to be able to say to myself "now you can cry, now you have a "reason" To feel so disgusting, so ugly, so broken, because now your skin is.

I will never ever hold a full time job again.
I am not able for it mentally.
I'm medicated for the last 10 years.
I had dreams
I had wishes.
I had hopes.

Yes overall my life is good now, but it is not the life I dreamed of.

I will never do the job I dreamed of, help the people I wanted to help.
I will never be a functioning member of society.




He got 3 years.

I got life.

I am now in my mid 30's

 

[brandambassador]

True but now everyone knows so there's no way he'll get a fair trial if it goes to court and he'll walk.

I must say this is what I find worrying. Seems to be 5-6 women who have been his victims and the victim alliance have stated outright they are helping these women with the criminal and civil suits. I’ve probably said before but in 2007 I had a sexual assault happen me (not rape to be clear and I apologise to anyone who thinks I should use a different phrasebut to me it was sexual assault but I got away). I knew him and a week later he wrote to me, a vague letter saying sorry and a cheque for €1000 which in 2007 got you more than it would today. I went to the guards and I was asked did I really want to take him on, that he was a big rich businessman and he had invested in half the town and it would be hard to prove.the scared young girl I was fled of course from the guards that day. so in 2012 I visited a fabulous female solicitor with the apology note I had kept in my car for years and the cheque I never chased. I started a civil claim with her and it got settled out of court for a decent amount of money. I had awful anxiety around relationships and trust for years and even driving through that town used make me vomit .sorry for the long winded story I’m trying to say you may not always have a criminal case or charge but there is a lot you can do civilly in terms of personal injury with the right support

 

[NoMoreSpotlight]

I think it would be just great if we could all stop questioning the motivations of the alleged victim here.

Why aren't we asking what drove him to groom young girls, allegedly, instead of asking 1. why she chose social media to share her story 2. what took her so long etc. 3. why didn't she "go through the proper system"

Why isn't he screaming his innocence from the rooftops? That's the only question I have.

 

[NoMoreSpotlight]

I’m sorry now............ actually I’m not! I don’t think reddit is a place for anyone to tell their story like this one, it’s a way to stir it up publicly. Go to the guards, the court....... follow the system!

This type of reaction makes me very uncomfortable. That girl allegedly suffered severe trauma by a very clever, manipulative and powerful (to her) older man while she was a teenager. The same man hid in plain sight using our national broadcaster as a place to showcase himself as some "woke" moral beacon. It's not up to you or me or anyone else to judge how she chose to tell her story. I have been told by the Gardai when I was a teenager not to pursue a sexual assault as it would be "he said, she said" or "do you really want the hassle of all that, sure just put it behind you" etc.. Where else did she feel she could turn if this is the advice she got from the Gardai? Where would you go? Things aren't always that simple. This black and white approach to such complex, traumatising experience is not helpful in encouraging women to speak out about abuse.

 

[CailínBeag]

Just going back to the story posted on Reddit by alleged victim. Firstly what direction did she think the friendship was going? Meeting in bars and going for food and drinks? People have a few drinks they get giddy and stupid and loose inhibitions. That's the norm. How many of us have had fumbles and gropes and it's all part of the bumpy ride. To publicly put that stuff out there is hugely damaging. Why did she hook up again with him after the incident in Spin headquarters. No matter what she has destroyed him. Not saying he's without blame but she has to now shoulder the responsibility of what's shes done. I personally couldn't live with it.

Please, mention how she was dressed too to just put the cherry on this comment

 

[Freddie101]

Just going back to the story posted on Reddit by alleged victim. Firstly what direction did she think the friendship was going? Meeting in bars and going for food and drinks? People have a few drinks they get giddy and stupid and loose inhibitions. That's the norm. How many of us have had fumbles and gropes and it's all part of the bumpy ride. To publicly put that stuff out there is hugely damaging. Why did she hook up again with him after the incident in Spin headquarters. No matter what she has destroyed him. Not saying he's without blame but she has to now shoulder the responsibility of what's shes done. I personally couldn't live with it.

She was 16, a child

END OF

 

[Lunamoon13]

Girl he just got engaged to has a very petite frame, almost teen like

Years ago my bf was a comedian and he told me that there was soooo much stuff on this guy, if it all came out people would be very shocked. At first I was, like no way you are just hearing that from people jealous of his fame, but then I heard a story from someone not in that comedy scene, so it kind of confirmed it.
There are a lot of real narcissistic creeps in the Irish comedy scene who treat girls/lads terribly and laugh about it like its some perk of their job. Met a few through the bf and some of the stuff that came out last summer about a certain comedian actually didn't surprise me. I won't name names but some Scottish comedian actually did a set specifically about knowing his rape victim.

I think, personal hot take here, that there is a pervasive mentality in Ireland to not believe a woman when she says she was attacked. Its bred into us, women have been silenced since the founding of the state. A few of those mother and baby homes reports recently had details of girls raped while in industrial schools and getting pregnant from it and the reason they were admitted to the laundries was 'SHAME'.

The girls bore the brunt of took the blame, like they were at fault for their rape and ensuing pregnancy and don't forget here alot of these girls got pregnant at ages like 15. But no it was their fault, the man is a good man, decent guy, from a good family..
This attitude still exists, its inherited trauma bred into all of us, and people seem to default to thinking the girl is lying, or making it up or agreed then changed her mind after. And look I'm guilty of having thoughts like that cross my mind when hearing stories years ago. And when I got raped myself I didn't tell many friends for years because I knew some would sympathise in person and then go home and say well I must have been asking for it... I only confided in a friend who also had been assaulted. As I knew she'd immediately believe me and not question how I let it happen (a question I did get asked by someone!!)

I do believe victims coming out and talking these days , it took me 5 years to process what happened to me and be able to move forward from it. Some people are faster to recover, others take decades, and especially if you are a child when this happens it can really take a long time for your brain to catch up to the trauma you suffered and be able to correctly label it.

Anyways back on topic, I definitely think Irish society still minimises the female voice, previous well known rape trials know that the default discourse is 'sure she asked for it, or she shouldn't have been wearing a skirt or a thong' or 'she must have led him on, he's a decent guy didn't the priest speak up for him at trial'

Even with the family annihilator murders in Ireland recently, the men murdering their wife and kids then themselves, it's always 'oh he was a good man, pillar of the community, did loads for the locality' the victims of his crime, particularly his wife, silenced again. Honestly I think this country is entirely polluted still by the effect of the Catholic Church, a real Mary magdalene is a whore mentality..
As you can tell this boils my piss

 

[J.BFletcher]

I have a story myself that haunts me , when I was in my early 20s I was at a house party and I struck up a conversation with a man only a few years older then me, we had drunken conversation about our ex’s and I felt sorry for him because he was really obese and seemed genuine and still in love with his ex. Hours went by I drank way to much and passed out asleep on a bed in a room that had been crowed with people. I woke up hearing banging on a door and found myself alone in the room and this man on top of me raping me. I had been wearing skin tight leather trousers and still to this day am baffled how he dragged them down me. When I came to I asked him what he was doing and he laughed it off as if I knew. I remember him opening the door to his room mate whod been banging the door down when the door opened the room mate looked at me laying in the bed I’m sure he knew what was going on and tried to save me. I got myself together and went home. It took years for me to realise what happened and I truly don’t think I’ve ever accepted it. I’ve never told anyone and it was over ten years ago. I blame myself for being to friendly and drinking to much

Oh Meoulpal I feel like I could have written some of this. I’m sorry you went through this. It was NOT your fault but I know exactly where you’re coming from and how it never really leaves you.

I have battled some of the same demons and when i started calling a spade a spade I realised what happened was not my fault and that it was rape.

I loved parties, clubbing and I loved drinking. I could generally accept that I had a bit of a problem with drinking to excess. I consciously made an effort though to drink less because I would end up in situations that were becoming all too familiar and I was losing respect for myself. One night when I was relatively sober (no pre drinking involved) had two drinks in the same pub and went to the bar to get my round and never returned to my friend who was all alone in the smoking area. I would NEVER do that, no matter how drunk I was. She spotted me being carried off out and into a taxi. She was so disgusted that I would abandon her like that because it’s not something I ever did and I went out with her that night because she needed to let loose after a breakup. She said I could barely stand and just thought I must have been doing shots at the bar. Back then It would take a lot of alcohol to get me so drunk so this didn’t make much sense to her either. I would have had to be drinking all day and night.

I remember walking to the bar and while waiting for the drinks got chatting to this guy who I had no interest in but he was friendly and I knew a few of his friends. The next thing I remember was trying to wake up because I was in so much agony and then I was faced with this guy on top of me. It would have been hours and hours later but it was clear that he was raping me the whole time. I was devastated and so sore. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening and I felt scared to leave and when I called him out on it he told me I was “gagging” for it and did I not remember all the fun we had? I was most definitely asleep. There was no doubt about that. He took my phone and put his phone number into it with his real name and then phoned himself and said he would call me later. He gave me his address so I could get collected and go home. This had me so confused because he made me feel like this was all consensual, that I had too much to drink and and that it might even happen again if I was up for it. He completely normalised the whole situation. He was disgusting. I would never have left the bar willingly with him. My friend who I abandoned that night came to collect me the next morning because I begged her to and when I got into the car she was more bothered that I left her on her own and all for the ride. Another thing I would never have done before but she was hurt. I could tell. I never said anything at that moment because I couldn’t process what happened myself.

I went to work the Monday morning after and for an entire week I was in bits both mentally and physically. I was so sick that eventually 9 days later I had a fever and had to go get checked by my GP who sent me straight to a GUM clinic where the wait to get tested was the worst few hours of my life. They kept asking me if I was always so pale and sick looking. They took me aside into a cubicle and put me onto a trolley because they were convinced it was looking like I might have HIV because I was so sick, had symptoms and my blood results were all over the place. I will never forget how unprepared I was to hear something like that. I was so fortunate that this wasn’t the case but I did have multiple STIs something that haunts me to this day. When you’re in the maternity or you want to give blood they ask you these questions and I immediately want to say “ but I was raped” but nobody asks you and I used to just feel so ashamed. They just tick a box and I always wonder what they’re thinking of secretly. The stigma is real.

I have all the details of my rapist but I never went any further with it. In fact he’s still on my blocked list on Facebook because I searched for him there first because I never wanted him to find me on social media. He grew up in quite a disadvantaged area where I’m from, where everyone would think he was honest and hardworking and “one of their own”. I always had a feeling he would be protected at all costs no matter the truth. I would hate the people he associated with spreading rumours about me and to be very honest I was scared of him so I let it go. I always knew it would be a case of his word against mine even though there would have been CCTV footage in the bar but that would have proved nothing really - a girl so legless she had to be held up on the way out. I don’t live in that town anymore so I feel assured that I won’t come across this guy. I will always have regrets about going out that night because it changed my life in more ways than one.

I have amazing support in a very understanding husband and the few friends that I told. They helped me eventually realise that I wasn’t to blame. This happened me in my mid 20s when I was a confident woman enjoying a successful career. Prior to this happening I thought that victims should name and shame their rapists/abusers but when the tables turned my whole world crumbed before me and reporting this guy was not an option. I can’t imagine what a 16 year old would feel like and how they would process this level of abuse/grooming and especially by someone who has a platform.

Something I learned from an early age is that there is nothing worse than telling the truth and not being believed. I suffered for years with confidence issues, I was absent from school a lot and missed out on so much social Interaction because of fear. I reported that I was being bullied to a teacher and she said “there’s no smoke without fire”. It’s this sickening attitude that prevents people from speaking out. Its one thing that has always stuck with me and I guess that’s why I never went further about my rape ordeal. Anyone who speaks out is so courageous and it doesn’t matter when.

 

[Sksbb2]

Saw this on twitter

did you see this 2017 reply to the tweet??

 

[GreenFlamingo]

And she’s a doctor. Poor girl

What does that even mean? Would you feel less sorry for her if she worked in McDonalds or Tesco? I find this attitude in Ireland so bizarre.

 

[ChitChat2021]

This thread is really enlightening and I think some of the people asking ‘why is she coming forward 11 years later?’ will no longer be asking these type of questions after how victims here have so articulately described their personal experiences. I know some people might find it difficult reading but it’s really important to know how victims process and dealwith their rapes/sexual assaults.

i’m not one for cringy sayings but the phrase ‘don’t judge someone unless you’ve walked in their shoes’ is so true and applicable here.

Let’s be honest after the Belfast rugby rape trial there probably wasn’t a female in Ireland who wouldn’t be put off by pursuing the legal route. That’s why talking about Mr. Bishop and Glen H here might be a positive thing - it might encourage people to come forward or at the very least be a safe space for victims to talk about their experiences.

I think we’ll look back in horror at that Belfast rape trial and be astounded by that poor girl’s underwear being shown in court and the way in which the court case was conducted. The dogs on the street in that tight-knit south Belfast community knew that the rugby boys were guilty as sin but we all know how it ended.

It truly sickens me 1. How only a small % of women report sexual assaults and 2. How an even smaller % reach a guilty verdict. Something truly rotten is at the core of the Irish judicial system and Irish society at large.

The new-ish Minister for Justice Helen McEntee seems like she actually listens and then takes appropriate action (e.g. Coco’s Law), maybe now is a good time for some changes to be made.

 

[topbop]

Gript are not far right, they are just not far left, which in Ireland seems to be enough to be deemed far right.
They report the news that state sponsored RTÉ won't report.

Gript is edited by John Mcguirk, who is as far right and conservative as they come. He is involved with Declan Ganley, Libertas and writes for the Irish Catholic, was spokesman for Save the 8th. Gript absolutely has an agenda, and there is talk that it is being funded by the Irish Freedom Party. John McGuirk and all that he stands for and all who he associates with are far right, conservative, racist and misogynist scum. And Gript is his baby. anything they report has an angle. Ireland for the Irish. Liberals are ruining our country. Pro Life. Fuck the woman. Her body, but my choice. God I hate them all. Sorry for then rant. Bringing me back to my fury during the Repeal campaign.

 

[bellbells16]

It was all completely false hence why he’s going after Twitter in the high court. Just a fame hungry little clout chaser looking 10 seconds of fame. It’s a joke.

The girl was 17 and he was 27. Getting the girl to admit she was the age of consent (17) isn’t really the win he thinks it is. I dunno, if someone accused me of something like that I wouldn’t have just ran off and hid for over year. I’d at least put out a statement refuting the allegations and say I’m going to fight it. I’d also be looking to sue the person for false allegations, but he’s not. The statement is very carefully worded and seems like a settlement between the two parties. No one is going to know what happened between them, but it doesn’t seem cut and dry at all. And sorry, a 27 year old pursing and having a relationship with a 17 year old is fucking creepy.

 

[always-lurking]

Really disgusted at some of the inferences on here:

Why did it take HER 11 years to report?
Why did SHE say it on social media?
His career will be ruined whether true or not????

Well f*** me, I would've thought that if they're true, then it's a good thing his career is ruined!
Not only does she live in small Ireland, where even a proven allegation can ruin a victims rep, but it's not as if the legal system deals with these cases properly or fairly for victims.

No one asking why an allegedly predatory man, who rumours have been supposedly swirling around for years, has been allowed to work with the state broadcaster? Apparently there are multiple victims coming forward, this doesn't appear to be an isolated incident.

Some internal misogyny going on here, some of you need to have word with yourselves!

 

[bibiforlife]

Just going back to the story posted on Reddit by alleged victim. Firstly what direction did she think the friendship was going? Meeting in bars and going for food and drinks? People have a few drinks they get giddy and stupid and loose inhibitions. That's the norm. How many of us have had fumbles and gropes and it's all part of the bumpy ride. To publicly put that stuff out there is hugely damaging. Why did she hook up again with him after the incident in Spin headquarters. No matter what she has destroyed him. Not saying he's without blame but she has to now shoulder the responsibility of what's shes done. I personally couldn't live with it.

She was SIXTEEN!!!!!!!!

Edit - you need to educate yourself on the meaning of grooming asap

 

[NoMoreSpotlight]

I am so humbled by all the brave women who have been so open and honest on this thread. From the bottom of my heart I believe ye, I’m with ye, we all stand with ye and none of it was your fault.

For the others who have doubted or made throwaway remarks about the alleged victim, I sincerely hope you have given serious thought to the damage that your words hold. I hope you have learned something about the complexities of abuse and that it’s really, really not as simple as ‘why didn’t they go to the ombudsman’ like something out of a fucking manual.

I’ve learned so much from this thread so thank you to everyone who has respectfully shared

 

[AnnaBananaPie]

This has made me think of all the shit that’s happened to me and I’d say 99% of girls over the years

Not at all in the same league as this case but unwanted unsolicited attention

You know strangers in pubs/clubs pinching your arse, slapping your arse , shouting stuff at you on streets, catcalling etc, leechy men not fucking off when you made it clear you don’t want a drink or to talk etc
That feeling walking alone getting a taxi late at night etc
Being scared walking somewhere in the dark even well lit streets

Imagine being a man. They don’t have the same level of fear women on a night out /daily etc

Yes more men probably get physically assaulted random fights etc

 

[We were on a break]

I wonder what will happen to the radio show? Doireann just not charismatic enough to carry on her own IMO. Rte should really get some new talent and not rehash the same old shite. Not that I tune in too often as it’s covid coverage is fucking doomsday ville

I never got Doireanns appeal at all, she’s also not one bit funny.

 

[topbop]

Im sorry this is too much with this young man killing hoimself last week. And yes i will say I do know eoghans family and the situation or some of the situation anyway and maybe this is not mine to share but the amount of devestation is so much with this news of this man killing himself over an allegation. yes this girl is allowed to make a proper complaint if she wants and let Garda do the work to but this is why social media is dangerous because it is not a court just people saying many things with no favts only what other people say. I don’t know everything but it is a big big mess like I said and I have spent this some time last week and today again reading a lot of this thread that is why i had to write and there are very sad stories and brave stories and some very nasty comments too with many wrong facts from what I know. The account or the tweets anyway were deleted because this girl behind the twitter admitted her lawers and eoghan lawers she lied about her age and was older than she said at this time she talk about. That is to say she said she was underage when she was notand and shared with the whole country a serious crime maybe the most serious crime that is not true. And now anyone who shared her post could now get sued because of that which is hundreds of people from what im told but she will have no responsability for them getting sued if that is what happens because you are supposed to check your own facts on social media. Another mess is she. Admitted again to lawers she shared another rape allegation from a troll account that i see mentioned above just only now totally fake that got reshared fromn her twitter and on here too on tatle life earlier on a scrrenshot on this thread I saw this morning. That troll posted many allegations about many people oin the public eye both men and women too of course I won't name names but they are still there on that account i believe all very nasty and fake so anyone who shared that post from her account when she reposted could now get sued aswell/ A lot of legal trouble she's made for a lot of people. the girl said she never never spoke with eoghan after there last meeting but I'm told there are many msgs that they kept in touch for a long time afyer all this and all the msgs friendly and normal msgs. I know eoghans dad who is just a very lovely kind man and she said in her twitter she wouldn’t go to the Garda because he was a Garda and was corrupt and would make trouble for her. He is just a teacher all of his life and so upset at all this and this accusation. I don’t know if that’s defamation on him but the family are crushed and worried eoghan might hurt himself or worse too like this man did last week. Another problem made by the post she said eoghan said he was friends with niall horan the singer and talked about him like bragging and showing off to her because he is famous which got him (niall included in many tweets and his name involved on social media except they (eoghan and niall) had never met at all at that stage and there is proof of that aswell so now niall horan has had his name pulled in and mentioned on social media. Maybe that is anothe rlegal problem for her i don;t know. So that is why none of reported in the papers because if they had printed what she wrote they would all be in big legal trouble like many of the people on twitter are and that is why tweets gone. Social media is a disaster. I remember does everyone that Mary harney the minister got nealy half a million euros because a paper or radio said she was an alcoholic. Maybe the lawers will make lots of money but everybody else on both sides will lose. The lawers eoghans side offered mediation to all sit down because eoghan thinks it was consensual and now of courdse she say s she doesn't think it was. So they opfferee and she has said no. So she hasnt make a complaint maybe she doesn't want to or maybe she is scared now how big it has gotten and admitted many details not true she won’t meet and try to mediation just hoping to delete tweets and go away but so many lives ruined? If it was my son i don’t know what I would do. Of course you'd hope to sort out but it si in limbo. And of course maybe her experience was not good either and that is sad but maybe he thought one thing and she thought another thing and the fact she now admotted many parts not true to lawers makes it hard for anyone to come to the tqble in peace. Nobody is a winner it’s all very sad. I hope maybe they will talk and be able to sort it out before something terrible happens like last week. Sorry for the long post I just read a lot of the posts here again this morning and many of them made me very sad from brave women and many made me sad because I know some of the truth and the family and they are suffering and trying to sort out and help their son. I am prayinh we dont have another headline like todays again soon. God bless this girl and eoghan and the families.

Bloody hell that was a painful read. I actually gave up reading it once I got to the mary harney part. But to summarize for anyone who also doesn’t want to wast their time trying to read it: eoghan’s lovely. As is his dad. And I’m sure the girl is too. But social media is terrible. And mary harney isn’t an alcoholic. God bless us all.

 

[MollyMalone]

I think it would be just great if we could all stop questioning the motivations of the alleged victim here.

Why aren't we asking what drove him to groom young girls, allegedly, instead of asking 1. why she chose social media to share her story 2. what took her so long etc. 3. why didn't she "go through the proper system"

Why isn't he screaming his innocence from the rooftops? That's the only question I have.

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Victim blaming again. The girl was 16 years old when this incident allegedly took place. it doesn't matter why it took 11 years for her to come forward. she was a literal child at the time, who knows what kind of long term effect it had on her or how long it took for her adult mind to even register the wrong doing. If this allegation is true, SHE IS NOT IN THE WRONG, in any way shape or form. HE is the sexual predator and HE is the one who has questions to answer, not this girl.