Eoghan McDermott - Irish radio stars face social media allegations.

[Freddie101]

Dunno if he still works in radio. But think thats his point though. The same woke presenters had no problem tweeting about paddy jackson and weinstein but when it comes to their mate theyre afraid to get in trouble from their jobs. So makes the metoo movement pointless. Only able to speak up when it doesnt affect them. Sure even George Hook got condemned more for comments made on a radio show. And yet not a word about McDermott

Pretty sure it’s different laws in the north though
Not excusing the silence but I really feel like they legally can’t say anything

Plus the stuff that George Hook said was heard by everyone on his show. So it’s fact.
I also wonder regarding the fact it’s a minor that he allegedly assaulted. Are there laws protecting both in this instance

 

[gayformoleman]

Omg really I always liked him

I was just guessing as someone had mentioned a radio DJ on fm104 who goes by a nickname..

 

[Freddie101]

I also wonder if he himself is legally allowed to speak about it. Even just defending the accusations.

The girl could have used an alias and therefore is still anonymous. She would have to legally waive anonymity but I’m pretty sure that can only happen at the time of trial if there is one.
Plus there are laws regarding minors which obviously need to be upheld.

I just don’t think it’s as clear cut as “why is he not defending it” or “why is nobody speaking about it”

Before anyone comes for me & I have to defend my thoughts. I have never written anything on this site that could identify me but for this thread I will.

I’m speaking as a CSA survivor who is in the court process. It takes a LONG time.
The current delays are generally approx 3-5 years from the time the person is charged until it’s actually heard in court.

Why? Because there are so many historical sex abuse cases being reported in the last few years. There is a backlog

So, people speaking out about abuse & wanting to help others works.
It worked for me.

I AM A SURVIVOR
Sending love to every other survivor on here too

 

[Sandyclaws]

Just going back to the story posted on Reddit by alleged victim. Firstly what direction did she think the friendship was going? Meeting in bars and going for food and drinks? People have a few drinks they get giddy and stupid and loose inhibitions. That's the norm. How many of us have had fumbles and gropes and it's all part of the bumpy ride. To publicly put that stuff out there is hugely damaging. Why did she hook up again with him after the incident in Spin headquarters. No matter what she has destroyed him. Not saying he's without blame but she has to now shoulder the responsibility of what's shes done. I personally couldn't live with it.

Let me tell you what I have to live with.
I was 14 when a man in his mid 40's groomed me. I'd have considered myself very intelligent.
I was bullied at the time, so had no friends, no one to confide in. I was played like a violin to believe that someone genuinely cared for me.

I didn't want to do any of the sex stuff, which I know know was abuse, but I did it because I was so afraid of what would happen if I didn't.
He never threatened me, he didn't have to. I knew enough to be afraid.
It did come out what was happening, he was jailed, but once it came out I put it in a box in my head.
The box was always there.
With every dysfunctional relationship that followed, the box was there.

I finally, 10 years later, got counselling.
No one had told me I was abused, until then.
All I could think was it was my own fault.
Because I kept returning, so I must have liked it.
I didn't, but sure, as you have clearly said in your post, why go back after the first time???


Within the last 20 years I've made several attempts on my life.
I bear physical scars from where I've harmed myself, because I needed to see actual physical damage to be able to say to myself "now you can cry, now you have a "reason" To feel so disgusting, so ugly, so broken, because now your skin is.

I will never ever hold a full time job again.
I am not able for it mentally.
I'm medicated for the last 10 years.
I had dreams
I had wishes.
I had hopes.

Yes overall my life is good now, but it is not the life I dreamed of.

I will never do the job I dreamed of, help the people I wanted to help.
I will never be a functioning member of society.




He got 3 years.

I got life.

I am now in my mid 30's

 

[Maniac2003]

Let me tell you what I have to live with.
I was 14 when a man in his mid 40's groomed me. I'd have considered myself very intelligent.
I was bullied at the time, so had no friends, no one to confide in. I was played like a violin to believe that someone genuinely cared for me.

I didn't want to do any of the sex stuff, which I know know was abuse, but I did it because I was so afraid of what would happen if I didn't.
He never threatened me, he didn't have to. I knew enough to be afraid.
It did come out what was happening, he was jailed, but once it came out I put it in a box in my head.
The box was always there.
With every dysfunctional relationship that followed, the box was there.

I finally, 10 years later, got counselling.
No one had told me I was abused, until then.
All I could think was it was my own fault.
Because I kept returning, so I must have liked it.
I didn't, but sure, as you have clearly said in your post, why go back after the first time???


Within the last 20 years I've made several attempts on my life.
I bear physical scars from where I've harmed myself, because I needed to see actual physical damage to be able to say to myself "now you can cry, now you have a "reason" To feel so disgusting, so ugly, so broken, because now your skin is.

I will never ever hold a full time job again.
I am not able for it mentally.
I'm medicated for the last 10 years.
I had dreams
I had wishes.
I had hopes.

Yes overall my life is good now, but it is not the life I dreamed of.

I will never do the job I dreamed of, help the people I wanted to help.
I will never be a functioning member of society.




He got 3 years.

I got life.

I am now in my mid 30's

I dunno what to say sandyclaws, thats horrible. You are incredibly strong.

 

[NoMoreSpotlight]

I am so humbled by all the brave women who have been so open and honest on this thread. From the bottom of my heart I believe ye, I’m with ye, we all stand with ye and none of it was your fault.

For the others who have doubted or made throwaway remarks about the alleged victim, I sincerely hope you have given serious thought to the damage that your words hold. I hope you have learned something about the complexities of abuse and that it’s really, really not as simple as ‘why didn’t they go to the ombudsman’ like something out of a bleeping manual.

I’ve learned so much from this thread so thank you to everyone who has respectfully shared

 

[Sandyclaws]

I dunno what to say sandyclaws, thats horrible. You are incredibly strong.

Thank you,
But I'm not. Most days I'm just surviving.

 

[Dearreader]

Genuinely sickens me to read whataboutisms on this thread.

Look no further than this thread right now, It gives a massive insight into how the system fails women time and time again.
Or how fucked the system was to begin with- Women reporting their crimes and were told not to "rock the boat" or chalking up inapprioate touching as "ah that's just jimmy" Do you think that's a rock solid system and a safe space for a woman to come forward??

For those of you writing here who never took the time to sit and listen or try to understand trauma and other complexities that come with sexual abuse and continue to question victims.

- shame
- who will believe me
- threats/fear
- dissociation
- self blame
- Perpetrator is in a position of power

Can't believe there are actually people out there asking why a child didn't speak up against a man. A child.

 

[rebremm99]

Let me tell you what I have to live with.
I was 14 when a man in his mid 40's groomed me. I'd have considered myself very intelligent.
I was bullied at the time, so had no friends, no one to confide in. I was played like a violin to believe that someone genuinely cared for me.

I didn't want to do any of the sex stuff, which I know know was abuse, but I did it because I was so afraid of what would happen if I didn't.
He never threatened me, he didn't have to. I knew enough to be afraid.
It did come out what was happening, he was jailed, but once it came out I put it in a box in my head.
The box was always there.
With every dysfunctional relationship that followed, the box was there.

I finally, 10 years later, got counselling.
No one had told me I was abused, until then.
All I could think was it was my own fault.
Because I kept returning, so I must have liked it.
I didn't, but sure, as you have clearly said in your post, why go back after the first time???


Within the last 20 years I've made several attempts on my life.
I bear physical scars from where I've harmed myself, because I needed to see actual physical damage to be able to say to myself "now you can cry, now you have a "reason" To feel so disgusting, so ugly, so broken, because now your skin is.

I will never ever hold a full time job again.
I am not able for it mentally.
I'm medicated for the last 10 years.
I had dreams
I had wishes.
I had hopes.

Yes overall my life is good now, but it is not the life I dreamed of.

I will never do the job I dreamed of, help the people I wanted to help.
I will never be a functioning member of society.




He got 3 years.

I got life.

I am now in my mid 30's

My heart is broken reading this I stand with you x

 

[brandambassador]

I have a story myself that haunts me , when I was in my early 20s I was at a house party and I struck up a conversation with a man only a few years older then me, we had drunken conversation about our ex’s and I felt sorry for him because he was really obese and seemed genuine and still in love with his ex. Hours went by I drank way to much and passed out asleep on a bed in a room that had been crowed with people. I woke up hearing banging on a door and found myself alone in the room and this man on top of me raping me. I had been wearing skin tight leather trousers and still to this day am baffled how he dragged them down me. When I came to I asked him what he was doing and he laughed it off as if I knew. I remember him opening the door to his room mate whod been banging the door down when the door opened the room mate looked at me laying in the bed I’m sure he knew what was going on and tried to save me. I got myself together and went home. It took years for me to realise what happened and I truly don’t think I’ve ever accepted it. I’ve never told anyone and it was over ten years ago. I blame myself for being to friendly and drinking to much

The only blame here is on him. Thanks for telling us. I believe you

 

[Maniac2003]

Does every woman get subjected to this. Its disgusting. Had an older male who used to give me drink for "help" had compartmentalised it for years and blocked it out. Only recently has the gravity of it hit me.

 

[J.BFletcher]

Wow I’m usually clueless but it’s very obviously who this comedian is

He has a family member who is also a “comedian” if you could call either of them that. Two pervs. The lesser known during a stand up gig ogled my friend and got completely distracted by how beautiful she was. He kept talking to her from the stage, completely forgetting to tell jokes, asked her out from the stage and he wasn’t joking about that either. Her boyfriend was beside her and eventually she stopped looking up at him but he would keep coming back to her. He made the whole room feel uncomfortable. He was literally sweating looking at her. She normally loves attention but this was a whole new level. She was even scared to use the loo afterwards in case he was about.

 

[J.BFletcher]

I have a story myself that haunts me , when I was in my early 20s I was at a house party and I struck up a conversation with a man only a few years older then me, we had drunken conversation about our ex’s and I felt sorry for him because he was really obese and seemed genuine and still in love with his ex. Hours went by I drank way to much and passed out asleep on a bed in a room that had been crowed with people. I woke up hearing banging on a door and found myself alone in the room and this man on top of me raping me. I had been wearing skin tight leather trousers and still to this day am baffled how he dragged them down me. When I came to I asked him what he was doing and he laughed it off as if I knew. I remember him opening the door to his room mate whod been banging the door down when the door opened the room mate looked at me laying in the bed I’m sure he knew what was going on and tried to save me. I got myself together and went home. It took years for me to realise what happened and I truly don’t think I’ve ever accepted it. I’ve never told anyone and it was over ten years ago. I blame myself for being to friendly and drinking to much

Oh Meoulpal I feel like I could have written some of this. I’m sorry you went through this. It was NOT your fault but I know exactly where you’re coming from and how it never really leaves you.

I have battled some of the same demons and when i started calling a spade a spade I realised what happened was not my fault and that it was rape.

I loved parties, clubbing and I loved drinking. I could generally accept that I had a bit of a problem with drinking to excess. I consciously made an effort though to drink less because I would end up in situations that were becoming all too familiar and I was losing respect for myself. One night when I was relatively sober (no pre drinking involved) had two drinks in the same pub and went to the bar to get my round and never returned to my friend who was all alone in the smoking area. I would NEVER do that, no matter how drunk I was. She spotted me being carried off out and into a taxi. She was so disgusted that I would abandon her like that because it’s not something I ever did and I went out with her that night because she needed to let loose after a breakup. She said I could barely stand and just thought I must have been doing shots at the bar. Back then It would take a lot of alcohol to get me so drunk so this didn’t make much sense to her either. I would have had to be drinking all day and night.

I remember walking to the bar and while waiting for the drinks got chatting to this guy who I had no interest in but he was friendly and I knew a few of his friends. The next thing I remember was trying to wake up because I was in so much agony and then I was faced with this guy on top of me. It would have been hours and hours later but it was clear that he was raping me the whole time. I was devastated and so sore. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening and I felt scared to leave and when I called him out on it he told me I was “gagging” for it and did I not remember all the fun we had? I was most definitely asleep. There was no doubt about that. He took my phone and put his phone number into it with his real name and then phoned himself and said he would call me later. He gave me his address so I could get collected and go home. This had me so confused because he made me feel like this was all consensual, that I had too much to drink and and that it might even happen again if I was up for it. He completely normalised the whole situation. He was disgusting. I would never have left the bar willingly with him. My friend who I abandoned that night came to collect me the next morning because I begged her to and when I got into the car she was more bothered that I left her on her own and all for the ride. Another thing I would never have done before but she was hurt. I could tell. I never said anything at that moment because I couldn’t process what happened myself.

I went to work the Monday morning after and for an entire week I was in bits both mentally and physically. I was so sick that eventually 9 days later I had a fever and had to go get checked by my GP who sent me straight to a GUM clinic where the wait to get tested was the worst few hours of my life. They kept asking me if I was always so pale and sick looking. They took me aside into a cubicle and put me onto a trolley because they were convinced it was looking like I might have HIV because I was so sick, had symptoms and my blood results were all over the place. I will never forget how unprepared I was to hear something like that. I was so fortunate that this wasn’t the case but I did have multiple STIs something that haunts me to this day. When you’re in the maternity or you want to give blood they ask you these questions and I immediately want to say “ but I was raped” but nobody asks you and I used to just feel so ashamed. They just tick a box and I always wonder what they’re thinking of secretly. The stigma is real.

I have all the details of my rapist but I never went any further with it. In fact he’s still on my blocked list on Facebook because I searched for him there first because I never wanted him to find me on social media. He grew up in quite a disadvantaged area where I’m from, where everyone would think he was honest and hardworking and “one of their own”. I always had a feeling he would be protected at all costs no matter the truth. I would hate the people he associated with spreading rumours about me and to be very honest I was scared of him so I let it go. I always knew it would be a case of his word against mine even though there would have been CCTV footage in the bar but that would have proved nothing really - a girl so legless she had to be held up on the way out. I don’t live in that town anymore so I feel assured that I won’t come across this guy. I will always have regrets about going out that night because it changed my life in more ways than one.

I have amazing support in a very understanding husband and the few friends that I told. They helped me eventually realise that I wasn’t to blame. This happened me in my mid 20s when I was a confident woman enjoying a successful career. Prior to this happening I thought that victims should name and shame their rapists/abusers but when the tables turned my whole world crumbed before me and reporting this guy was not an option. I can’t imagine what a 16 year old would feel like and how they would process this level of abuse/grooming and especially by someone who has a platform.

Something I learned from an early age is that there is nothing worse than telling the truth and not being believed. I suffered for years with confidence issues, I was absent from school a lot and missed out on so much social Interaction because of fear. I reported that I was being bullied to a teacher and she said “there’s no smoke without fire”. It’s this sickening attitude that prevents people from speaking out. Its one thing that has always stuck with me and I guess that’s why I never went further about my rape ordeal. Anyone who speaks out is so courageous and it doesn’t matter when.

 

[brandambassador]

Just to say, on international women’s day, for all women who’ve shared their story here & those who don’t feel ready yet- we believe you & this is a safe space to talk, just read or just not feel alone. Eoghan McDermott is one thing but for those who only opened up on this platform this week after years of silence - I hope it helped you somewhat x

 

[Gemgem300]

Oh Meoulpal I feel like I could have written some of this. I’m sorry you went through this. It was NOT your fault but I know exactly where you’re coming from and how it never really leaves you.

I have battled some of the same demons and when i started calling a spade a spade I realised what happened was not my fault and that it was rape.

I loved parties, clubbing and I loved drinking. I could generally accept that I had a bit of a problem with drinking to excess. I consciously made an effort though to drink less because I would end up in situations that were becoming all too familiar and I was losing respect for myself. One night when I was relatively sober (no pre drinking involved) had two drinks in the same pub and went to the bar to get my round and never returned to my friend who was all alone in the smoking area. I would NEVER do that, no matter how drunk I was. She spotted me being carried off out and into a taxi. She was so disgusted that I would abandon her like that because it’s not something I ever did and I went out with her that night because she needed to let loose after a breakup. She said I could barely stand and just thought I must have been doing shots at the bar. Back then It would take a lot of alcohol to get me so drunk so this didn’t make much sense to her either. I would have had to be drinking all day and night.

I remember walking to the bar and while waiting for the drinks got chatting to this guy who I had no interest in but he was friendly and I knew a few of his friends. The next thing I remember was trying to wake up because I was in so much agony and then I was faced with this guy on top of me. It would have been hours and hours later but it was clear that he was raping me the whole time. I was devastated and so sore. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening and I felt scared to leave and when I called him out on it he told me I was “gagging” for it and did I not remember all the fun we had? I was most definitely asleep. There was no doubt about that. He took my phone and put his phone number into it with his real name and then phoned himself and said he would call me later. He gave me his address so I could get collected and go home. This had me so confused because he made me feel like this was all consensual, that I had too much to drink and and that it might even happen again if I was up for it. He completely normalised the whole situation. He was disgusting. I would never have left the bar willingly with him. My friend who I abandoned that night came to collect me the next morning because I begged her to and when I got into the car she was more bothered that I left her on her own and all for the ride. Another thing I would never have done before but she was hurt. I could tell. I never said anything at that moment because I couldn’t process what happened myself.

I went to work the Monday morning after and for an entire week I was in bits both mentally and physically. I was so sick that eventually 9 days later I had a fever and had to go get checked by my GP who sent me straight to a GUM clinic where the wait to get tested was the worst few hours of my life. They kept asking me if I was always so pale and sick looking. They took me aside into a cubicle and put me onto a trolley because they were convinced it was looking like I might have HIV because I was so sick, had symptoms and my blood results were all over the place. I will never forget how unprepared I was to hear something like that. I was so fortunate that this wasn’t the case but I did have multiple STIs something that haunts me to this day. When you’re in the maternity or you want to give blood they ask you these questions and I immediately want to say “ but I was raped” but nobody asks you and I used to just feel so ashamed. They just tick a box and I always wonder what they’re thinking of secretly. The stigma is real.

I have all the details of my rapist but I never went any further with it. In fact he’s still on my blocked list on Facebook because I searched for him there first because I never wanted him to find me on social media. He grew up in quite a disadvantaged area where I’m from, where everyone would think he was honest and hardworking and “one of their own”. I always had a feeling he would be protected at all costs no matter the truth. I would hate the people he associated with spreading rumours about me and to be very honest I was scared of him so I let it go. I always knew it would be a case of his word against mine even though there would have been CCTV footage in the bar but that would have proved nothing really - a girl so legless she had to be held up on the way out. I don’t live in that town anymore so I feel assured that I won’t come across this guy. I will always have regrets about going out that night because it changed my life in more ways than one.

I have amazing support in a very understanding husband and the few friends that I told. They helped me eventually realise that I wasn’t to blame. This happened me in my mid 20s when I was a confident woman enjoying a successful career. Prior to this happening I thought that victims should name and shame their rapists/abusers but when the tables turned my whole world crumbed before me and reporting this guy was not an option. I can’t imagine what a 16 year old would feel like and how they would process this level of abuse/grooming and especially by someone who has a platform.

Something I learned from an early age is that there is nothing worse than telling the truth and not being believed. I suffered for years with confidence issues, I was absent from school a lot and missed out on so much social Interaction because of fear. I reported that I was being bullied to a teacher and she said “there’s no smoke without fire”. It’s this sickening attitude that prevents people from speaking out. Its one thing that has always stuck with me and I guess that’s why I never went further about my rape ordeal. Anyone who speaks out is so courageous and it doesn’t matter when.

Your story sounds like mine. To the point I was reading it and thought somebody had taken my story and used it as their own but unfortunately it's a story a lot of women have. I fear for my daughter growing up in a world where men think women belong to them. It took 20 years for me to talk about what happened to me. My friends didn't believe me but his brother did when I told him. Says it all really. Like you I blocked him from everything one social media became a thing. I heard about 7 years ago hes moved country and I was relieved. Every time I was out I feared running into him. He will never know the damage he caused me I turned to alcohol to deal with it I became promiscuous (which I've found out can be as a result from rape) I just thought that was who I was. Its sad to read all these stories but women are getting louder I have hope that one day women wont share similar stories.

On a side note... I knew radio presenter when I was younger. He always a bit of a ladies man thought he could have who he wanted. I wasn't a bit surprised when I read the story.

 

[Sandyclaws]

I have a story myself that haunts me , when I was in my early 20s I was at a house party and I struck up a conversation with a man only a few years older then me, we had drunken conversation about our ex’s and I felt sorry for him because he was really obese and seemed genuine and still in love with his ex. Hours went by I drank way to much and passed out asleep on a bed in a room that had been crowed with people. I woke up hearing banging on a door and found myself alone in the room and this man on top of me raping me. I had been wearing skin tight leather trousers and still to this day am baffled how he dragged them down me. When I came to I asked him what he was doing and he laughed it off as if I knew. I remember him opening the door to his room mate whod been banging the door down when the door opened the room mate looked at me laying in the bed I’m sure he knew what was going on and tried to save me. I got myself together and went home. It took years for me to realise what happened and I truly don’t think I’ve ever accepted it. I’ve never told anyone and it was over ten years ago. I blame myself for being to friendly and drinking to much

You absolutely are not to blame for it.
He is.

But I know what you mean and how you feel.
It's "funny", when it's someone else you know 100% it's not their fault and you would walk through fire to prove it to them.
But when it's yourself you find yourself deliberately trying not to be as friendly, or more guarded, because you think it'll stop it happening again don't change the empathetic person you clearly are because he was a monster sending love and hugs.


If any one needs to connect to me I've changed my weight insta to surviving_life_2021

Please if anyone is in need to talk, contact me

 

[lmcn23]

So in awe of all the amazing women who have shared their stories on this thread, whether for the first time or the 100th time you are all so brave Actually disgusting that this is the world we have to grow up in as women! regarding Eoghan I definitely believe Eleanor (pseudonym) and agree with everyone on this thread but am dreading the backlash from “meninists” as I have already seen a few comments on Twitter saying “never trust a man who calls himself a feminist” etc agree with poster a few pages ago saying he was shouting the loudest to cover up his past actions

 

[Irishjools]

What are men getting away with?! Victim/survivor accounts of what happened to them on this are just shocking. And this is only a tiny representative of the female population. Ive been prompted myself to look back at my early twenties and I feel uneasy about situations I blamed myself for getting in, the irony of blaming myself even!!! When you really examine it the issue of consent and just bleeping human decency is seriously lacking in our society.

 

[Louisaholic]

This room is litterally heartbreaking to read. People give tattle a lot of tit but i'm so happy that some people have been able to share pain in a safe place and I hope its eased some of the pain that a) you aren't alone b) people believe you c) you are stronger than you know d) there is no shame for what happened to you. My heart hurts for you all. Sending you all so much love.

 

[Sandyclaws]

Men have been getting away with this for centuries.
At this stage, I don't know is it more common in Ireland, or is it just everywhere.

It's actually so exhausting to be a woman/a minority group.
You have to constantly watch every situation in case someone who opposes you wants to have a go.

I watched it's a sin recently, and I felt so sad, and exhausted after it, because people were so horrible, and although so much has changed in the last 30 years, at the same time, not much has changed at all