Just going back to the story posted on Reddit by alleged victim. Firstly what direction did she think the friendship was going? Meeting in bars and going for food and drinks? People have a few drinks they get giddy and stupid and loose inhibitions. That's the norm. How many of us have had fumbles and gropes and it's all part of the bumpy ride. To publicly put that stuff out there is hugely damaging. Why did she hook up again with him after the incident in Spin headquarters. No matter what she has destroyed him. Not saying he's without blame but she has to now shoulder the responsibility of what's shes done. I personally couldn't live with it.
Let me tell you what I have to live with.
I was 14 when a man in his mid 40's groomed me. I'd have considered myself very intelligent.
I was bullied at the time, so had no friends, no one to confide in. I was played like a violin to believe that someone genuinely cared for me.
I didn't want to do any of the sex stuff, which I know know was abuse, but I did it because I was so afraid of what would happen if I didn't.
He never threatened me, he didn't have to. I knew enough to be afraid.
It did come out what was happening, he was jailed, but once it came out I put it in a box in my head.
The box was always there.
With every dysfunctional relationship that followed, the box was there.
I finally, 10 years later, got counselling.
No one had told me I was abused, until then.
All I could think was it was my own fault.
Because I kept returning, so I must have liked it.
I didn't, but sure, as you have clearly said in your post, why go back after the first time???
Within the last 20 years I've made several attempts on my life.
I bear physical scars from where I've harmed myself, because I needed to see actual physical damage to be able to say to myself "now you can cry, now you have a "reason" To feel so disgusting, so ugly, so broken, because now your skin is.
I will never ever hold a full time job again.
I am not able for it mentally.
I'm medicated for the last 10 years.
I had dreams
I had wishes.
I had hopes.
Yes overall my life is good now, but it is not the life I dreamed of.
I will never do the job I dreamed of, help the people I wanted to help.
I will never be a functioning member of society.
He got 3 years.
I got life.
I am now in my mid 30's