New thread title thanks to
@Redmama 
sending you a #gifted break in the lodge, and an extra large bottle of bleach for cleaning out the hot tub
Last thread recap:
- Queen Skidmarks of Paignton is still a cunt.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- following #poogate at the end of the last thread, Tattlers were still dumbfounded by Andrex Alison's revelation that if Sloshy won't sit with her while she takes a dump, she'll walk into the kitchen to show him her shitty toilet roll
many pointed out how this is abusive behaviour - forcing him to look at her faeces, and additionally, not giving him his own personal space to be able to take a shit in peace. If he was displaying this behaviour towards her, the huns would be screaming for her to leave him, but because it's Rawhide, it's hilarious
- back to business for Ratshit, and on the beg for some personalised party invites for Edie's birthday, which she needs by the end of the week. Perfectly reasonable, seeing as Edie's birthday is the same day every year. She bemoaned Etsy, saying that nobody on there is replying to her messages (I mean, a please or thank you wouldn't go amiss Raq, maybe try it sometime). Clearly just buying a packet from the supermarket (either when she gets her free shopping from Tesco, or next time Merlot Malcolm deploys down to Sainsbury's to take a shit in peace) isn't good enough for her precious offspring, so she posted about it, obviously hoping someone will come forward and offer to provide them for free.
- speaking of Beggy Babs, she's now on the scrounge for second hand school uniforms, to encourage reusing and saving the planet. Except she's also asking for vouchers to buy new stuff as well if you're not local
so all the money she's raking in via PayPal, Patreon, adverts, and the shop isn't enough to go and get a few packs of polo shirts to hand out to Sweaty Betty.
- she's asked where would be good for an 18 year old to find a house share in London for 7 months before they go travelling. Firstly, Betsy was meant to be going travelling in September/October, which isn't 7 months away, and secondly, as if Queen BeKind would cope living with poor people in the city
what a harsh wake up call that would be for her!
- it's been noticed that Racquetball has changed her bio from "mama of 6" to "mama to plenty of babies" is there something rumbling in the background with Seb and Isaac's mum? We hope so!
- Mangina Malcolm's birthday has rolled around again, and despite it not being a "special" birthday, she's managed to get him number balloons and have wrapping paper printed with his face on (yet she can't get organised to order invites for Edie's party). After complaining about the kids brushing their teeth in the kitchen, Joyce was*checks notes* brushing his teeth in the kitchen. Edie and Wilbert were eating toast, only one plate though because busy mum of 6 Ratchet can't be expected to feed more than one kid breakfast at a time. She made sure to zoom in on a card signed by Edie calling Sloshy "dad" and saying he's "the best dad we could ask for".
- Never at Home Nigella is taking Birthday Bill away for the night, after a last minute offer from Lianne to babysit Wilbur. Oh how Tattlers laughed when she said she doesn't get an offer like that very often! She spends more time away from her kids than with them
and just to prove it, she's taking him away on Friday for 2 nights as well, even though they apparently have a severely autistic toddler who is violent and unpredictable
she feels like a "proper parent" because BeKind is nearly 18, top tip Rancho - to be a proper parent, you have to actually parent your children, not palm them off on other people all the time. Yesterday they had Joyce's niece who lives in Australia come to visit, as they were due to arrive Wilby (who had been showered and left unsupervised upstairs) came down by himself with "a diarrhea shit hanging off his arse cheek". Sure, Jan
so apparently while he was in his room by himself with no nappy, he'd shit all over his rug. Forty Four Year Old Fred arrived in the loft half way through her telling the story, and made it clear she was lying
she then moved on to asking him how he felt to be 44, he started to reminisce about being younger and playing football on no sleep, Jealous Jennifer had to interrupt and say "we don't need to hear about that" in case he dared to mention that he might have slept with someone else 25 years ago
- she shared Edie's school report, funny how education only matters when one of the kids is doing well, isn't it?
- one of Sloshy's birthday presents is a tacky tattoo with Raq's initials inside a heart
you may as well piss in a bottle and make him wear it as aftershave at this point hun (although why she feels she needs to stake her claim quite so strongly is unknown, seeing as no fucker else is interested in the boring cunt). Then it appeared that they were spending the night at a very swanky hotel, probably not somewhere you could book last minute
turns out it's Boringdon Hall, which is around £600 a night (but don't forget to send her some vouchers so she can buy supermarket school uniform to hand out to the peasants)
- on Patreon, she said that Sloshy is basically the HR person at the company because she can't tell anyone off. She has a mate who's said something to upset her, but because she can't deal with conflict she's just avoiding the person - could it be Nostrils McGhee after she said Wilbur was overweight?! Her therapist has said she needs to stop being the kids' friend and start setting boundaries and sticking to them. As if that's ever going to happen
- Mangina Malcolm has been such a good little husband for packing in his job that Scat Fetish Susan is taking him away to Dubai (or Jubai as he keeps calling it). 5 nights in December, including a desert safari. "the kids will be alright, won't they" why do you care hun, that never normally stops you
- another crap t-shirt from the Snatchwork store (good girl Raq, you marked it as an ad and didn't even make a sarcastic comment about it). Supermodel Serena is wearing a Medium and she's a 6-8 on top - sounds like the sizing is really inclusive then
- Night Away Nora and Neville are off again, this time to a lodge and hot tub for the weekend. Probably a #gifted stay, as the place is brand new and they're the first people to stay there. Hope the owners are ready to disinfect the hot tub after they've been up to whatever in there
no doubt it will trigger off yet another round of thrush/BV for old Fungus Flaps, which we'll hear about next week. She made a point of saying that Joyce's "only friend" was joining them, of course it's fellow Instaprick Arsetrid and her long suffering husband Simon. Without knowing they were going, Merlot Malcolm packed a case of wine for 2 nights
- on the Patreon, she had to be told to go outside by Sloshy so he could take a shit in peace. He even said "it's my birthday". Thanks for sharing babe, we were all wondering about his bowel habits.
- Absent Parent Alice shared some very cute footage that Betsy sent of Wilbert playing with his childminder. Something that Raq and Sloshy never seem to do.
- BV Betty now wants a hot tub, even though they used to have one in the garden that was barely used and they got rid of it
- Relatable Rebecca has been trying on thousands of pounds worth of diamond rings, no doubt that will be her next little treat for herself to wear while begging her followers to donate food and Costa vouchers.
- back at Snatchwork Towers, Betsy's dobbing Seb in for saying he's not home when he is, and Lula and Isaac are having loads of mates over even though they were told they couldn't. Isn't it amazing how Racket even thinks that they might have even a speck of respect for their parents, when they're never actually parented properly?
- apparently Dead Bird Derek is always putting the phone down on the kids. Way to make them feel like they can talk to you
- back home and of course Sloshy's cooked a roast, although half the kids were missing (Wilbur must have still been with his childminder, let's hope she's getting paid very well for looking after him all weekend).
Running total of overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
Joyce's birthday - one night at Boringdon Hall (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
Look at this crud
stories. F*****g insufferable the pair of them 
. I’ve nailed it. Cliff Richard circa 2018.