PTWM #136 me, myself and I, I, I...screw our 6 kids we’re off to Jubai.

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New thread title thanks to @Redmama 🥳🥳🥳 sending you a #gifted break in the lodge, and an extra large bottle of bleach for cleaning out the hot tub 🤮

Last thread recap:
- Queen Skidmarks of Paignton is still a bleep.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- following #poogate at the end of the last thread, Tattlers were still dumbfounded by Andrex Alison's revelation that if Sloshy won't sit with her while she takes a dump, she'll walk into the kitchen to show him her crappy toilet roll 🤮 many pointed out how this is abusive behaviour - forcing him to look at her faeces, and additionally, not giving him his own personal space to be able to take a tit in peace. If he was displaying this behaviour towards her, the huns would be screaming for her to leave him, but because it's Rawhide, it's hilarious 🤷
- back to business for Ratshit, and on the beg for some personalised party invites for Edie's birthday, which she needs by the end of the week. Perfectly reasonable, seeing as Edie's birthday is the same day every year. She bemoaned Etsy, saying that nobody on there is replying to her messages (I mean, a please or thank you wouldn't go amiss Raq, maybe try it sometime). Clearly just buying a packet from the supermarket (either when she gets her free shopping from Tesco, or next time Merlot Malcolm deploys down to Sainsbury's to take a tit in peace) isn't good enough for her precious offspring, so she posted about it, obviously hoping someone will come forward and offer to provide them for free.
- speaking of Beggy Babs, she's now on the scrounge for second hand school uniforms, to encourage reusing and saving the planet. Except she's also asking for vouchers to buy new stuff as well if you're not local 🤷 so all the money she's raking in via PayPal, Patreon, adverts, and the shop isn't enough to go and get a few packs of polo shirts to hand out to Sweaty Betty.
- she's asked where would be good for an 18 year old to find a house share in London for 7 months before they go travelling. Firstly, Betsy was meant to be going travelling in September/October, which isn't 7 months away, and secondly, as if Queen BeKind would cope living with poor people in the city 😂😂😂😂😂 what a harsh wake up call that would be for her!
- it's been noticed that Racquetball has changed her bio from "mama of 6" to "mama to plenty of babies" is there something rumbling in the background with Seb and Isaac's mum? We hope so!
- Mangina Malcolm's birthday has rolled around again, and despite it not being a "special" birthday, she's managed to get him number balloons and have wrapping paper printed with his face on (yet she can't get organised to order invites for Edie's party). After complaining about the kids brushing their teeth in the kitchen, Joyce was*checks notes* brushing his teeth in the kitchen. Edie and Wilbert were eating toast, only one plate though because busy mum of 6 Ratchet can't be expected to feed more than one kid breakfast at a time. She made sure to zoom in on a card signed by Edie calling Sloshy "dad" and saying he's "the best dad we could ask for".
- Never at Home Nigella is taking Birthday Bill away for the night, after a last minute offer from Lianne to babysit Wilbur. Oh how Tattlers laughed when she said she doesn't get an offer like that very often! She spends more time away from her kids than with them 🤷 and just to prove it, she's taking him away on Friday for 2 nights as well, even though they apparently have a severely autistic toddler who is violent and unpredictable 🤷 she feels like a "proper parent" because BeKind is nearly 18, top tip Rancho - to be a proper parent, you have to actually parent your children, not palm them off on other people all the time. Yesterday they had Joyce's niece who lives in Australia come to visit, as they were due to arrive Wilby (who had been showered and left unsupervised upstairs) came down by himself with "a diarrhea tit hanging off his arse cheek". Sure, Jan 🙄 so apparently while he was in his room by himself with no nappy, he'd tit all over his rug. Forty Four Year Old Fred arrived in the loft half way through her telling the story, and made it clear she was lying 🤥 she then moved on to asking him how he felt to be 44, he started to reminisce about being younger and playing football on no sleep, Jealous Jennifer had to interrupt and say "we don't need to hear about that" in case he dared to mention that he might have slept with someone else 25 years ago 🙄
- she shared Edie's school report, funny how education only matters when one of the kids is doing well, isn't it?
- one of Sloshy's birthday presents is a tacky tattoo with Raq's initials inside a heart 😬 you may as well piss in a bottle and make him wear it as aftershave at this point hun (although why she feels she needs to stake her claim quite so strongly is unknown, seeing as no fucker else is interested in the boring bleep). Then it appeared that they were spending the night at a very swanky hotel, probably not somewhere you could book last minute 👀 turns out it's Boringdon Hall, which is around £600 a night (but don't forget to send her some vouchers so she can buy supermarket school uniform to hand out to the peasants)
- on Patreon, she said that Sloshy is basically the HR person at the company because she can't tell anyone off. She has a mate who's said something to upset her, but because she can't deal with conflict she's just avoiding the person - could it be Nostrils McGhee after she said Wilbur was overweight?! Her therapist has said she needs to stop being the kids' friend and start setting boundaries and sticking to them. As if that's ever going to happen 🤷
- Mangina Malcolm has been such a good little husband for packing in his job that Scat Fetish Susan is taking him away to Dubai (or Jubai as he keeps calling it). 5 nights in December, including a desert safari. "the kids will be alright, won't they" why do you care hun, that never normally stops you 🤷
- another crap t-shirt from the Snatchwork store (good girl Raq, you marked it as an ad and didn't even make a sarcastic comment about it). Supermodel Serena is wearing a Medium and she's a 6-8 on top - sounds like the sizing is really inclusive then 🙄
- Night Away Nora and Neville are off again, this time to a lodge and hot tub for the weekend. Probably a #gifted stay, as the place is brand new and they're the first people to stay there. Hope the owners are ready to disinfect the hot tub after they've been up to whatever in there 🤮🤮🤮 no doubt it will trigger off yet another round of thrush/BV for old Fungus Flaps, which we'll hear about next week. She made a point of saying that Joyce's "only friend" was joining them, of course it's fellow Instaprick Arsetrid and her long suffering husband Simon. Without knowing they were going, Merlot Malcolm packed a case of wine for 2 nights 😬
- on the Patreon, she had to be told to go outside by Sloshy so he could take a tit in peace. He even said "it's my birthday". Thanks for sharing babe, we were all wondering about his bowel habits.
- Absent Parent Alice shared some very cute footage that Betsy sent of Wilbert playing with his childminder. Something that Raq and Sloshy never seem to do.
- BV Betty now wants a hot tub, even though they used to have one in the garden that was barely used and they got rid of it 🤷
- Relatable Rebecca has been trying on thousands of pounds worth of diamond rings, no doubt that will be her next little treat for herself to wear while begging her followers to donate food and Costa vouchers.
- back at Snatchwork Towers, Betsy's dobbing Seb in for saying he's not home when he is, and Lula and Isaac are having loads of mates over even though they were told they couldn't. Isn't it amazing how Racket even thinks that they might have even a speck of respect for their parents, when they're never actually parented properly?
- apparently Dead Bird Derek is always putting the phone down on the kids. Way to make them feel like they can talk to you 🙄
- back home and of course Sloshy's cooked a roast, although half the kids were missing (Wilbur must have still been with his childminder, let's hope she's getting paid very well for looking after him all weekend).



Running total of overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
Joyce's birthday - one night at Boringdon Hall (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.


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My second thread title! I shall celebrate with fizzy cats piss while I bleach the hot tub 😂

Snatchwork towers and mangina Malcolm 😂😂😂😂
 
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Excellent recap as always @DipsyDoodle
Didn't they bugger to Bar(dados)celona for her birthday? Think he was on his 'break' then xx
 
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Excellent recap as always @DipsyDoodle
Didn't they bugger to Bar(dados)celona for her birthday? Think he was on his 'break' then xx
No, that was in May and he didn't start his "career break" until mid June (although we don't believe he'd actually been at work for a long time before then).
 
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Fab recap as ever, you can never leave us!

But just going back to Edie's report, didn't it mention she was disruptive to the other pupils, meant to comment at the time but been busy with my kids, strange concept for some I know!
 
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Parking to keep up! Awesome title and update as always 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I can’t wait to see all the amazing family fun they will have now it’s the summer holidays 👀 and I mean doing family stuff that isn’t for an advert.
 
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Did they actually rebook their holiday? I vaguely recall someone mentioning they booked a package but can’t remember when we’ll have that treat to look forward to.
 
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I started typing this on the last thread, but got distracted by actually parenting my kids. Thanks for the recap Dipsy!


Shes a jack of all trades don't you know!
Shes worked in a pub
Shes worked in a dentist
Shes worked in a care home
Been trained in autism for 50 years
Shes worked in a chippy
Now she's a carer and having been beaten up daily by service users 🤣🤣🤣 give over rach! You sound ridiculous.

On another note, looking back to 2016/17 she really has come down a peg or two... she used to always be in the media etc now nothing! Not even her shop or centre is advertised publicly or shouted about!
The "market" has changed now really, she is used to being "Queen Bee" on Instagram, but now it is really saturated by mum / family accounts. She doesn't even have a unique selling point now, she's bored of being a saviour of DV or having a FML life with 6 tiny turds. She wants to be part of the new wave of young, pretty things (hence the trip to Jubai), but neither she or Josh are young enough or cool enough for that train. Media has no interest in her now that everyone's an influencer.
 
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So in the month since Josh took a career break “to take care of Wobble”, they’ve spent 6 nights away?!
 
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I started typing this on the last thread, but got distracted by actually parenting my kids. Thanks for the recap Dipsy!




The "market" has changed now really, she is used to being "Queen Bee" on Instagram, but now it is really saturated by mum / family accounts. She doesn't even have a unique selling point now, she's bored of being a saviour of DV or having a FML life with 6 tiny turds. She wants to be part of the new wave of young, pretty things (hence the trip to Jubai), but neither she or Josh are young enough or cool enough for that train. Media has no interest in her now that everyone's an influencer.
Especially as she doesn’t portray her kids as the best kids in the street !
 
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I started typing this on the last thread, but got distracted by actually parenting my kids. Thanks for the recap Dipsy!




The "market" has changed now really, she is used to being "Queen Bee" on Instagram, but now it is really saturated by mum / family accounts. She doesn't even have a unique selling point now, she's bored of being a saviour of DV or having a FML life with 6 tiny turds. She wants to be part of the new wave of young, pretty things (hence the trip to Jubai), but neither she or Josh are young enough or cool enough for that train. Media has no interest in her now that everyone's an influencer.
She really is a small fish in a massive pond (smell and all)
She only carries on with the dv stuff when she needs her bank account topping up.
She doesn't even get massive brands anymore wanting her to advertise. She used to do at least 30 ads a months
 
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So in the month since Josh took a career break “to take care of Wobble”, they’ve spent 6 nights away?!
I mean, one of those she HAD to, because Limpet Lianne offered to have Wobbler, and she simply couldn't turn down an offer like that because it NEVER happens 🤥
 
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Just catching up... did she deliver the £500 worth of presents to the women's prison dressed as an elf?! Where as that come from? They said on their begging for amazon wishlist video that it was for local families. Is this prison near them? Its so random.

Just googled its near Manchester!
 
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Just catching up... did she deliver the £500 worth of presents to the women's prison dressed as an elf?! Where as that come from? They said on their begging for amazon wishlist video that it was for local families. Is this prison never them? Its so random.

Just googled its near Manchester!
And she's deleted the post 🤔
 
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Because she knows its bullshit. Dont know why she even lies about tit like this
It’s like she doesn’t realise that people know where stuff is / can google it. 😬
Styal is near Manchester airport, it’s one of the more well known prisons Rach!

@DipsyDoodle love the recap as always!
The thread title has inspired me, must remember for a after they’ve been to Jubai, hope you’re all young enough to remember the tune! 🎶Been around the world and I I I, I don’t like my babies 🎶
 
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